Friday, April 07, 2006

Beware the new gadgets!

Hello every husky,

The humans, once again, have been very busy this week. Their stress level is at a peak with something called a "bill", but it doesn't seem to be like the kind they have to pay, more like a thing that if it gets passed, then people have to do certain things a certain way or else they have to pay or go to jail.

They left for a whole day sorta, leaving us languishing in our crates for 2 hours longer than normal, and came back all worn out. They've been so obsessed with this "bill" thing for a week, but now they are starting to pay attention to us again (and its about time), but in a bad way.

The human woman announced again that I needed a bath, and that my fluffiness was getting matted. She pronounced just last night after itching my leg (in the wrong spot, of course) that I needed the Furminator.

I have no idea what this Furminator is, but apparently she's heard about it from some other humans on that evil list she reads. I've tried to delete the list, tried to unsubscribe her from the list, but she catches on and resubscribes and reads all of that nonsense that other evil husky owners write on there about grooming and bathing.

Apparently this Furminator will remove all of my extra fluffiness, and I will love having my extra fluffiness removed. Riiiight. She claims that I will love the Furminator, and will allow her to remove my fluffiness with it, and not chew on her arm while she does it. Riiiight.

First was the comb. I don't like the comb, it hurts.

Next came the slicker brush. Don't like that either, so I chew on the human woman's arm to tell her that I don't like it.

Then she bought another type of comb with long teeth, and started giving me rawhides to chew on instead of her arm. I'd finish the rawhide and chew on her arm.

She bought some kind of loop thing, and even with a rawhide I refused to let her come near me with it, so she tried chasing me around the house, but gave up after I crawled into my crate with the rawhide.

Then she bought some kind of rubber looking brush, which was fun to chew and destroy and didn't do anything to remove my fluffiness.

Now she's talking Furminator, which apparently is some sort of expensive miracle anti-fluffy device. She showed me a picture of what it does. Some poor husky (no doubt sedated, or bribed with the kong crack whiz) laying among a huge pile of fur. The husky did not look fluffy. The fur around the husky sure did look fluffy, but it was on the floor. What good is fluffy if its on the floor?

She's threatening to buy this Furminator this weekend and try it out on me outside. That should be interesting, because there are so many places for me to run and hide out there. I particularly like under the deck stairs, because she can't get me there.

I can already tell what will happen. She will succeed in only getting one side of fluffiness from me. I will maintain one side of fluffiness, she will be unhappy that I'm uneven, there will be a battle to remove both sides of fluffy, and I will win. I will post pictures of my one side of fluffy for everyone to prove that I will win and keep one side of fluffy.

She's definitely not getting near my po-po with that thing!

Meeshka
Furminator Shmurminator

No comments: