Sunday, June 11, 2006

Where is that mutatoe?

So I'm out in the yard today, minding my own business as usual, when that gimpy mutatoe tries to take my stick. He never learns, I swear. He made such a racket that the human woman came out and took the stick and threw it over the fence. Um... that was MY stick you just tossed. Its like if I have something, and Loki wants it, he throws such a fit that it always gets taken away.

After the stick was tossed away, then he actually wanted me to get up and play with him. Excuse me, I'm laying here resting. He'll yap and yap and yap (he still hasn't mastered the respectful "woo") and then he'll bat at me with his mutant paw until finally I can't take it anymore and have to screech and skitter at him. He bounces around in glee that he got me to move. He's such a tard.

Every time I move out there he thinks I want him to grab my tail and pull it. I can't even walk out there without him pouncing on me, or trying to grab me by my pretty scruff. He's like a mosquito. I could send him flying with one swipe of my dainty little feet.

Typically, I wait for Sam to wander out in the yard, then when Loki attacks him, I'll saunter up to the house and demand that the human woman let me in. Sam is getting smart though. When Loki gets into his "pounce" position, Sam will hold very still. Sam thinks he can become invisible if he stands very still and avoids anyone's gaze. I'm not here, you can't see me. Sometimes Sam will run to me with the gimpy hot on his tail, then when the gimpy attacks me, Sam meanders for the house. Its a conspiracy I tell you.

So, here I am, walking to the house, little gimpy, puny boy latched on to my tail, pulling. Its a wonder I let him live, especially after what he did today.

I'm napping. I get to nap, I can't possibly babysit these guys all the time, I have to get in my beauty sleep sometimes. Apparently while I was napping, gimpy boy went in and started chewing on stuff he wasn't suppose to be chewing on. AND I GOT YELLED AT!

"Why aren't you watching him, why didn't you tell us!" Are you kidding me? He's YOURS, YOU WATCH HIM! I certainly didn't invite him into the house to drink all of the water from the tasty water bowl! I didn't invite him to sprawl out and take up half the bed! I didn't tell you "hey, I really want a puny little gimpy pawed puppy to latch onto my cute fluffy tail like it was a pull toy", so you deal with it.

So, I'm sulking. Human man didn't share his tasty nachos with us, even though he used our cheese. Human woman didn't share her peanut butter sandwich with us, even though she used our peanut butter. Oh yeah, that's another thing. Hey humans reading this... the human woman got hungry, and is so lazy that instead of reaching into the cabinet for the "human" peanut butter, she just lathers a slice of bread with our hair covered peanut butter, and ate it. Didn't share. Didn't even get to lick the knife.

(I live in crazy-ville)


IndyPindy said...

Hmmmm...maybe your human woman needed some mom loves me and doesn't mind my hair, but she wouldn't eat it. The other day she pulled a peice of hair out of her coffee.

Turbo the Sibe said...

He's the suck-up, right? Not to be trusted!