Sunday, July 09, 2006

Don't Like Loud Noises

The humans have FINALLY figured out that my delicate ears hurt when loud things happen.

First its the thunder. I don't like thunder. It hurts my ears and scares me, so I have to force the human woman to sleep in the room we can't go into (they say its reserved for "guests).

Then there was the loud banging and popping stuff called fireworks that stupid humans were setting off on that fourth day. I'm glad they don't do that on every fourth day, I'd need tranquilizers.

Today there seems to be random explosions going off somewhere. Its even freaking the human woman out. She goes outside and looks around, but can't see anything. Meanwhile I'm trying to catch her to claw her leg (she never sits still for that).

Humans just don't understand that we hear better than they do, we smell things better than they do, we run faster than they do, we're more clever than they are, and these things upset us when they're just too much!

Stinky smells. They can't smell it, but we sure can, and there's nothing better than a stinky dead thing, but the humans don't like stinky dead things, they like the flowery fake smelling things. That thing in a can they spray smells NOTHING like a flower, and yet they insist it does and spray it all over our stuff. They sprinkle powder gunk on the carpets and say it smells good (you lay on the carpet then if you like that nasty stink). They wash themselves with stinky soaps, and sometimes try to wash us in them as well. If I was to smell like a papaya I would have been born a papaya. I'm a husky, I'm suppose to smell the way I do so get away from me with that fake papaya crap.

Wanna hear something funny (of course you do).
The human woman painted her toenails a funny blue color, but what she doesn't realize yet is that I managed to rub against her feet when the painty stuff wasn't dry, so now she has blue fuzzy toenails.


(I smell like I smell)


Turbo the Sibe said...

Humans are so stupid that if their nails were blue naturally, they'd freak out and call the doctor. But they'll paint them blue and think it's great!

Zeus said...

Oh, the noises are horrible! On the 4th of July, I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion as I ran back and forth from the dining room to the living room, attempting to discern where those tremendous noises were coming from! And these homo sapiens call that entertainment?

You're so right about the smells as well, except I love when we supposed "pets" get in trouble for following our natural instincts. I don't know how many times I have had to tell my human pet, "Woman, if you're going to throw away half-eaten chicken bones, you'd better take the bag out instead of tempt me all night long with its aroma!" That's just inexplicitly wrong!

Ender said...

Yuck, I can't stand the smell of nail polish! I won't even get close enough to get fuz on them, but that would make for an interesting moms toes just as fuzzy as mine! HAhaha!

Cubby said...

You are so funny. I got a bath this weekend, so I'm working on getting rid of the powdery smell. Ucky.