I refuse to go outside.
I just don't want to go outside.
Its been hot here, and if its not hot, then its raining and hot. If its not raining and hot, then its just raining and the mosquitos are horrible, and the ground is hot and muddy, and I just don't want to go outside.
When I do go outside, under protest, I expect the human woman to be there waiting for the door open so that I can do my business and come right back inside where its cool. Does she? No. I have to scream and beat on the door to get her to open it for me. Since I can't depend on her to be there when I want to come in, I refuse to go outside.
Sometimes she FORCES me to go outside when I don't want to, and that's not right. Then when I'm out there, all hot and oogie, she wants me to play. You want me to play in this heat? Are you INSANE?
So, I'm on strike. I'm not going to sit all cute and fluffy for the human woman. I'm not going to give her my delicate paw when she asks. I'm not going to eat my food... well, I'll eat my food, but I'm not going to like it, even if she puts human food in it, and shredded cheese.
I just don't think its unreasonable to ask for something this minor, to stay in the cool air conditioning, and to be let in immediately after I do my business.
(I think I'll claw her for no reason tonight)