Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Just When I Was About To Give Up

Hey everyhusky,

I had every intention of posting the human woman for free on Craigslist today and looking for a new one. Ever since she’s been “back to work” she’s pretty much ignored us (except for feeding, letting us out, playing with us), she hasn’t “had time” to let me on the powerbook to blog, and she’s also been trying to hog most of the bed again. Oh, and get this, I wake her up at 4:30am expecting to be let out and fed, and she let us out, herded us back inside, and made us go back to sleep for another hour. Can you believe that?

Last night she didn’t get home until very late, something about trying to get someone animal friendly voted into office (I thought there were laws against animal friendly people, but who knows), that meant we were left with the human man, who fed us too much, got annoyed when we wanted in, then out, then in, then out, then in (unlike the human woman, who is like a trained sheep, bending to our whims). He didn’t appreciate being clawed at all either. So, no ricochet bed, no being chased around the yard, no used kleenex, no nothing.

Today they get home and ok they fed us, then threw us in the yard and forgot to turn our nightlight on (it attracts bugs that we chase and eat), and even cooked and ate without us supervising. I was really feeling as though they had totally abandoned us, and was trying to instruct Loki (since he almost has an opposable mutant thumb) how to dial the ASPCA to report their horrible abuse... when she did something nice for me.

You all know how much I like used kleenex, although I don’t have a problem there, but there’s one thing in the world that I like more than used kleenex. Yes, hard to believe that there’s something even more tastier than used kleenex, but there is...


mmmmm, tasty, squirmy grubs. I can sense them in the ground and dig them out in seconds flat. I love grubs! You have to savor them to appreciate them, so I’ll savor a grub for a good 5 minutes before chewing it up.

Unfortunately, part of the grub digging process sometimes means that the grub is tossed with the dirt behind me, and Loki mutatoe, gimpy girlie weinie step-brother has figured this out. He’ll plant himself behind me and wait for the grub to get tossed out and then he STEALS MY GRUB!

This happened tonight. The rat fink grub stealer was sitting there with the tasty delicate grub between his skinny little chicken legs and wouldn’t give it to me. Luckily, the human woman came outside and distracted him just long enough for me to steal back my treat. The human woman knew something was up and told me to drop it. I didn’t want to. She insisted that I “trade up”, but I didn’t see anything tasty in her hands, so no way was I falling for that, but after the “stern” look, I ptooed the tasty grub out.

I thought for sure it was going to go with the mole, the birds, the snake, the squirrel, and all of the other tasty treats over the fence, but then... a miracle. The human woman looked at it, said “oh”, and then told me it was ok to have it. SHE GAVE IT BACK!

I got to savor the grub all to myself with no worries, no guarding it (except for Loki who was circling ominously), and took my sweet time about it. OOOH the tasty grubiness!

So, I guess I’ll let her hang around a bit more after that. Maybe she’s not that bad after all.

(tasty grub)


Turbo the Sibe said...

You're lucky. I brought a nice maroon grub inside the house. I left it on the carpet for just a moment of admiration and my Human disposed of it!!!

cyber-sibes said...

Hmmm, maybe you have her trained even better than you thought! I don't think I've ever had a grub, but I did KILL a skunk in our kennel the other night. -Star, the Stinky One

Woofwoof said...

I'll bet that on Craiglist, you can trade the woman in for a new MacBook Pro, one with the wide screen. And if you throw in the blue sleepy pants, you can probably get a brand new iPod nano too.

Sibe's Mom said...

I must live in the wrong part of Merryland. What is a grub and how do I get one? I'm all about a new tasty treat.


Shmoo said...

Hey Dakota,

I posted a picture of a tasty grub on that blog entry. They grow in the ground, and you have to dig for them. Its hard work, but ever so much worth it for this tasty treat.


Dusty Doodles said...

I don't think we have grubs here. I've never seen them. We have earthworms, but they taste like -- well nothing special. We do have crickets and they are yummy. Seen a few grubs my way and I'll send you some crickets.

The Army of Four said...

Dusty Doodles: Dried earthworms are REALLY GOOD! They're like ... jerky treats! Let them dry out on the sidewalk, then give them a try. Followed by smooshed crabapples... what a MEAL!
Meeshka: No way my mom would let me have the grub. You are SO lucky!
Luv, Dave

hollybollyboo said...

Not sure where Dusty Doodles lives, but I don't think we have any here in Nebraska either cuz I've never seen one.My step brother Sibe, Samuel and step brother Samoyed, Monty LOVE to dig really big and deep holes and they haven't found any either. All we get are crickets and flies here. And we HATE flies cuz they are really annoying and REALLY hard to catch! Maybe you could send US some grubs too!!!

Michelle said...

Oh, the grubs. How we love the grubs. By "we" I mean the four-pawed, masky members of the household...

Sorry about your animal-friendly person, by the way. I did my part, but damnedest thing, the folks at my polling place couldn't find Tashi and Polar on the rolls so they were turned away. I think HULA needs to organize a protest.

JustMeCopper said...

Meeshka, you can come to my house. I have a lot of grubs in my dirt but I do not dig and and honestly I never thought of eating them. (Mom says he is glad about that!)You can come eat all you want. I do like to eat dried worms though. They are yummy.

Cubby said...

We don't have grubs, but Dakota eats grasshoppers. I help her carch them, but they don't appeal to me as a snack. Crunchy crunchy!