Monday, November 13, 2006

This is Human Woman War

So after Loki's amazing horka in the kitchen (just to clarify, he managed a 10 point horka on the hard to wash throw rug, mere inches from the easy to clean linoleum), a box arrived at the house today. We don't know who leaves these boxes, but if we find them, we shall claw them.

Did the box have tasty husky cookies or treats in there?
No

Did the box have squeeky toys in there?
No

The human woman literally giggled with glee when she opened it... some stupid containers of liquid. The label says (yes, we can read) Zero Odor.

My first guess was that with all the crap the humans bathe in, wash their fur in, clean their clothes with, and rub under their arms (I will never figure that out), that even they were nauseated by the smell of all of these things, and she had bought something to neutralize their smells. Perhaps something in a doggy fragrance.

Oh no. She didn't buy it for them, even though they really need it. She bought it "for" us. Why? I don't know, its not like we asked for it.

So, she tried it out. Typically when she buys things she sees on tv (which is rare, I have to admit, she doesn't fall for too much), she tries it, mutters in disgust, and throws it out.

She read directions, she sprayed, she sniffed, she seemed happy. Hmmm, ok, so I had to go sniff too. OUR SMELLS ARE GONE! Once again we've spent an inordinate amount of time making sure our smells permeate the entire house... and now they're gone! She sprayed the part of the sofa we like to "mark" because its OURS, and its gone, our smells are gone!

ALL GONE!!!!

She had the gall to read the label to me, where it said that you can spray it right on kitty litter (hmmm, maybe its like a salad dressing of sorts) and it removes the odor! She said that they even claim it'll totally kill skunk odor. Well, I tell you what, I'm going out to look for one right now, and I'll show her that it doesn't work so she'll throw that crap right out.

She's been spritzing all night. It claims to remove stains (yeah, right, I'll leave a nice stain and see what it can do).

So everyhusky, and dog... the human woman will soon be bragging about the joys of Zero Odor to all of her human friends (Army of Four, watch out, I'm sure your human woman whose brain is connected to my human woman, will get a box soon), and pretty soon our houses will smell like NOTHING. How boring is that?

Meeshka
(she comes at me with the spray bottle, she's losing an appendage)

5 comments:

cyber-sibes said...

Uh-oh, our human is reading this too, and since "catch the skunk" is one of our favorite games (got 3 this year!) she got all excited too. She muttered about checking it out.....I hope no mysterious boxes arrive to put an end to the fragrant smell of victory here.
(So it really works, eh?)

JustMeCopper said...

Mom says to please share how your Mom got this magic stuff and if it really works. (I will keep her from reading it.)

Holly said...

Oh goodness Meeshka! Please don't tell me the humans have finally figured out how to get rid of our hard work in making the house smell like us, instead of them! You must see if you can get a hold of this bottle and puncture it with your teeth so it runs out all over the floor. I swear, these humans are trying to ruin everything for us!

Holly
(who is being starved by her human)

Anonymous said...

Oh, cats, Meeshka. I can hear the wheels turning in our mom's head already. It's as good as delivered.
Play bows,
Zim

Sibe's Mom said...

Meeshka, I think you should remove this post before all the humans see this stuff!!! Next thing you know, our homes will smell like that flowery foo-foo stuff that The Mom sprays on herself and the bed. Why else would I pee on it every now and then?