Saturday, September 30, 2006

Waterbowl Abuse


Waterbowl Abuse
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
I've mentioned before how unfair the humans are.

They make us "do our business" outside, no matter what the weather.
They lock up goodies and treats in impenatrable fortresses.
The dole out treats like they cost money or something.
They hog the bed.
They are hard to wake up when we have to "do our business".
Finally...
They take a perfectly good water bowl and ruin it!

You don't see me taking a poo in my water bowl. Sure, I wash my tiny, delicate feet in there, only because they're dirty and they keep the bathroom door closed, but I'm not sitting on it! So why is the human woman yelling at me when look at what she does in her water bowl!

I swear, if they ever make a "humans for dummies" book, I'm buying a copy, just to see if someone has actually figured them out, or if they're just as clueless as we are.

Meeshka
(I'm not drinking out of that)

Why is it?


Easily Amused
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Charlie got me thinking (which is usually dangerous for the entire world).

Why is it that humans make fun of us dogs when we like to stare at the dryer, and yet they’ll sit in front of that T.V. thing and watch race cars drive around an oval for hours and hours, but that’s ok and perfectly normal?

At least when we’re watching the dryer, we’re practicing our snout/eye coordination, learning how to track the clothes as they swirl without moving our heads and tipping off our prey to our presence.

The humans just seem to watch the tv, they don't really learn anything from it, they sometimes yell at it, the don't seem particularly pleased by what they see most of the time, and yet they stare at it.

They also seem perpetually puzzled as to why we aren't amused by it. They'll turn up the volume when there's some sort of wild animal on there making noise. Then try to goad us into showing interest in this wild animal. Um... I can't eat that, why bother?

They also turn up the volume when there's a dog barking or growling or howling. What? You expecting me to translate? Ok, most of them are saying "Hey, I was promised a cookie for standing here and looking cute, but I'm not getting NEARLY enough cookies to stand here for 5 hours looking cute because bonehead human actor guy can't remember his freakin lines" That's what they're saying.

Sometimes we do plant HULA members on tv shows. So humans, if your pet gets really interested in some animal on tv... its probably because they're receiving special instructions to make your life miserable. One day... soon... they'll be getting the go ahead for world take-over. But you'll never know.

Meeshka
(I prefer infomercials)

Friday, September 29, 2006

There's Not Enough Hours In The Day

Hey everyhusky,

eesh, what a busy last few days. I really apologize for the lack of posts these days, but I had a whole day of torture to make up since the gimpy yappy puppy wasn’t available to abuse all day Wednesday.

Thursday was quite busy for me, since there was gimpy abuse, then it was nice and cool out, so I had grub digging to attend to, which really wears you out, by the way. The human woman stayed home, so I also had to make sure that she was sufficiently clawed throughout the day. After that whole breakfast fiasco, I made dang sure she was up at the crack of dawn and mixing my food on time. Then at noon I had to claw her out of the chair for my lunch, and she had the GALL to leave us crated during a horrible storm and was late with our dinner. I’m really not impressed with her lately.

Apparently some tornado thing “touched down” close to the house. Here we are, stuck in the house while she and the human man were driving around somewhere. They really have no respect or love for us, or else they would have taken us in the truck and I would have been able to claw her while they drove each time it thundered. Ok, the tornado thing was actually miles off, but I’m looking for sympathy here!

Today was the usual, making sure she got up and fed me, digging for more grubs (we’ve torn up most of the yard, but still keep finding them), and napping. Once again, late with dinner, and they didn’t offer us any of the tasty chili they made for themselves.

Just in case you’re wondering, and I probably didn’t make it too clear, but the gimpy suck up is fine. He’s actually stopped that disgusting licking in that back area, and he’s back to being his cute, not fluffy, bouncy, yappy, suck up all the love self. He did get his mutant paw nails clipped while he was at the vet. I, for one, am very thankful, as those twisted oogie nails really hurt when he hits you just right.

At least the weekend is finally here, so the humans can spend their time and undivided attention to me. I think they need to do that to make up for the lousy treatment I’ve had all week.

Meeshka
(I’m ready for my close-up now)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Quick Mutatoe Update

I'm exhausted!

First of all, this morning the human woman let us out and DIDN'T FEED US BREAKFAST! She tried to sneak back into bed and hide, but I wouldn't let her. Its breakfast time, I WILL have my breakfast.

Clawing didn't seem to phase her, so I had to weasel my way in between her and the human man, then using the human man's back to push against (he wasn't very keen on that), I was able to push the human woman out of the bed. She kept the mutatoe and Sam in the bedroom and fed me my own private breakfast. Just as she went back to bed... the alarm rang. Heee.

We knew something was going on because when they usually leave for work, she bribed me with a pup-a-roni to go outside. Normally I refuse to go outside, but seeing how I literally had to threaten her for breakfast, I fell for the pup-a-roni trick. When we were let back inside, we looked out the window and sure enough, there was the human woman out there with the gimpy. We did get an extra big kong stuffed full of goodies, but that hardly makes up for the treatment I was given.

At lunch, still no gimpy. How refreshing to be able to eat my food without him hovering around me, waiting to lick my bowl like the good servant he is. More tasty kong treats when the humans left for work again... but they didn't come home at their normal time.

Dinner time came... and went, and still no humans. Sam and I were both getting a bit angry over missing dinner, when a whole hour late, the humans come back with the gimpy mutatoe. He smelled funny, and of course he tried hogging all the water. We all figured that as usual, we'd go out, do our "business" and come in for our LATE dinner feast, but NOOOO. Something about taking some time to let the gimpy mutant acclimate after his vet visit, and something about waiting for someone to deliver some food. Selfish humans.

Amazingly enough, when the food guy arrived, they actually gave us some of the tasty rice with our meager portion of food. Human woman said something about upset stomachs (ok, I was a bit worried about the gimpy, and the break in my normal routine, so I had a bit of an upset stomach), so we only got small portions. We did get another small portion an hour later.

So, the gimpy is back home and the vet place actually trimmed his lethal mutatoe nails while he was out. He's back to his goofy, dorky self, except kinda tired and has to pee a lot, but its good to have him home... because now our routine will go back to normal.

good night
Meeshka

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

By Request: The Mutatoe

Ok, Copper wanted to see a close up of the gimpy paw, so here it is. He's only got three toes and a semi-sorta opposable thumb, which the specialists think is actually his fourth toe that never really grew right. They're not sure what happened to the dew claw.

Despite that, he wields it like a weapon, batting us with it, using it to scoop dirt when he digs, dialing the phone to order stuff for himself only.

Much like the toes, his nails grow funky too, and the humans have to clip them all the time or else he would be labeled a lethal weapon.

He is good for a distraction. The humans have been paying all sorts of attention to him, so when the human woman was leaning over petting him, I jumped up and nabbed one of her tasty used kleenex and made an almost stealthy clean get away. It was glorious (and tasty too).

I've heard a nasty rumor that our dinner was the last food we'll be getting today. I'm not liking that rumor. I look forward to my bedtime treats, even though I'm on strike from going "pee pee final". I've decided that I'm not going to play that game anymore, and until she starts talking to us like humans, I'm not going to listen to her at all. No more "bed-bed", "pee-pee final", none of that stuff. When she starts saying "Meeshka, I would like for you to go out and do your business so that you aren't waking me up at 4 in the morning, so if you would do that for me please, I would appreciate it", then I'll go outside.



Meeshka
Queen of everything

Monday, September 25, 2006

Patience is not my virtue

I’m trying, trying really hard to be nice to the gimpy, mutant pawed suck up, but he’s really getting on my last fluffy nerve today.

The human woman keeps telling me to be “gentle with the puppy” Puppy? He’s like 4 years old, he just retains that puppy quality that allows him to get away with everything, and Sam and I to get away with nothing. It was like he was born puppy-like so the humans would not only fawn over his mutant paw, but would also bend over backwards at his cute puppy looks.

Yap, and they take him out
Yap, and they feed him treats
Yap, and they stop what they’re doing and cuddle with him

Me? I lay there looking all fluffy and nothing.
Me? I claw the human woman and all I get is OUCH.
Me? I curl up in a cute ball and put my fluffy tail on my nose and get ignored.

Tonight he decided that he wanted my grass. MY GRASS! He’d bark and yap and paw at me until I couldn’t take it any longer! He thinks he’s faster than me, but not when I’m in shriek and skitter mode. Nobody can escape shriek and skitter mode, not even the human woman (and she tries to run too, look of fear on her face, leaping for safety somewhere). You would think after the first time I caught and tossed him down that he would learn, but no. The moment he was back up, covered in my drool, he was at it again, racing toward my grassy spot that I had just skittered from and eating my grass. After him again, caught, throw, stomp. He leaps up and dashes for the grassy spot. The gall!

The human woman came out to see what all the racket was about and made us come inside. I was feeling somewhat deprived, and also mad at the human woman because she can’t control that little interloper, so now I’m doing it to her. Laying under the table, making the “I want” noise before clawing. Grabbing her arm and pulling her out of the chair, and of course, clawing. I actually had to poo, even though I had spent a good half hour outside and could have done it then... its much more fun to wait, come in, then demand to go out again 15 minutes later.

Meeshka
(I WILL have attention tonight!)

Saturday, September 23, 2006

That Little Suck Up

Score another one for the gimpy, mutant suck-up. Loki got to ride in the truck and go to the vet again today. Apparently the antibiotics didn't take care of his butt issues, so now they have to take him back again Wednesday, where he gets to have his anal glands washed out, and packed with antibiotic creams. He gets to have all of the fun.

Since he won't be able to eat after 8pm the night before, this means that we'll get no bedtime treats and no breakfast, just because of him. The humans have some stupid rule that says if we all can't eat or have treats, then none of us can eat or have treats. Sam and I will just have to live off of a kong treat when we get locked up and Loki goes for his little vacation at the vet office.

The humans are worried about him, and that makes them grumpy. I've tried to be cute and fluffy and take their attention off of him, but for some reason my ear piercing random shriek and clawing just isn't having the effect I expected. They're a hard crowd to cheer up these two. Maybe I'll break out into a skin rash, just to take their minds off of him. I'd like a little sympathy and caring, and a few trips to the vet.

Its also that stupid time where it gets cold at night, but they won't let us sleep in the cold outdoors, no. They want us to sleep in the house, which gets hot because they turn off the air conditioning at night. I'm ready for winter, if only to have those blessed hours laying in the snow... IF we have snow here this year. The snow has been very little around here, and I'm trying to convince them (by leaving the computer on random web sites that feature places that have a lot of snow) to move to a nicer state. I think its working, as I've heard the humans talking about how nice it would be to move out West. I'm fine with that, as long as "west" means snow.

Meeshka
(harumpf)

Friday, September 22, 2006

Escape Rules

Ok, everyhusky there needs to be some rules for escape that we all have to adhere to. Although escaping is fun, the funnest part is watching your human freak out, but we can’t let them freak out too much. That’s a bit inhumane.

Apparently Jovi and Adak had quite a fun adventure while they were gone. They still haven’t reported in their exact whereabouts or all of their adventures, but here’s what we can piece together.

We’re not quite sure yet on the full story, but it does appear that one was nabbed by someone, who was able to call the vet and report them. In that time, these humans weren’t too husky savvy, and allowed them to escape yet again. I don’t think they purposefully let them go, they probably thought like most dogs, they would just hang out until told to go someplace else, but that’s not the case with huskies. Tell a lab to sit, and they’ll sit there expecting goodies. Tell a husky to sit and they’ll give you the paw and take off.

Shortly after that near capture, they found a wonderful place that had really fun things to chase and eat. Apparently its called poultry, also known as chicken. Unlike other birds, chicken doesn’t fly away and laugh at you. Instead, it just runs around really fast and makes fun noises and they’re pretty easy to catch.

We’re not sure yet if there will be any repercussions to their fun. Apparently their human also raises these things called chickens, so we can only assume that their escape had something to do with being denied fun all of these years, and it was a way for them to call attention to the fact that their human won’t let them play with poultry.

We’re glad they’re back home now, and I’m sure after they rest up, they’ll be plotting their next move to cause more gray hair on their human’s head.

Meeshka

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

THIS IS A LOST DOG ALERT! FOUND!!!!

The wayward pups have been found. Update and more details later!



Everyhusky we have two lost ones in Bothell, Washington!

Jovi and Adak escaped when a gate was opened. Normally I encourage escapes, but these two have been loose for too long and need help getting back to their owner! Someone actually had the gall to find them, call the vet using their rabies tags, then let them go again!

If you are in the Bothell, Washington area, I need you to tell your humans to go out and search for Jovi and Adak! I will post pictures as soon as I can get them and post any updates.

Please bring these two valuable HULA members home!

More Info:
Cross posting permitted: Somehow the gate didn't latch properly....anyway,
when I went out to check on the dogs the gate was open and both were gone.
I've been up and down the road for a couple miles calling, put signs up on
the road, talked to the neighbors, the guard at the development next door
and the construction workers across the street, and called both the local
24 hour emergency clinics (Lynnwood & Lake City). I'll start going to the
shelters tomorrow and checking with all the local vets. Please think good
thoughts!

Both are Siberian Huskies
Jovi - light red-and-white amber-eyes F
Adak - black-and-white intact M with brown eyes

both have collars with Snohomish Co license tags, rabies tags for NE Vet
Hospital in Seattle, and Adak has his AVID tag still...the license tags are
last years cuz I had surgery on my arm and couldn't put the new tags on
(doggone!)

Betty Goetz


Both have AVID microchips.

Meeshka
(totally serious here, we need your help)

Monday, September 18, 2006

I got tagged

Althea has tagged me. I just happened to go out and read her blog tonight, what a coincidence (note to self: don’t visit Althea’s site, she give out homework)

Ok, so apparently I’m suppose to list five things that make a true doggie friend.

hmmmm


1.) A true doggie friend will just give me all of their squeeky toys, chew bones, and
food.












2.) A true doggie friend will never sit on my vents











3.) A true doggie friend will never take my spot on the human woman’s head












4.) A true doggie friend will let the human woman dress them up in stupid things so I don't get dressed up in stupid things.












5.) A true doggie friend won’t pull my tail, bat me with a mutant paw (Loki) or sit on me (Sam)

Its quite apparent that I need new friends because Sam and Loki do not respect my authority!

Now I guess I need to go take some other dogs, who will hate me now because now they actually have to take time out of their naps to do this... lets see:

I tag:
Abby
Sammy
Sophia Nicole
Sid

Don’t blame me guys, I got tagged too

Meeshka

Another Selfishgrain Day


DSC01725.JPG
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
The human woman came home at lunch complaining about one of her selfishgrain headaches. She used that as a convenient excuse to stay home and lay in bed with us, which we didn't mind. We were scheduled for a nap anyway, so sleeping on the bed (on her head) was an added bonus for us.

Around 3pm, I had enough napping and thought she'd feel much better if I clawed her head, and sure enough, she came leaping out of the bed and chased me. I should have done that much sooner, that way she could have been up, feeding us goldfish crackers (which we know she's hiding somewhere).

The grubs have been plentiful today as well. We've managed to cultivate quite a few of them, so I'm guessing the humans planted a bumper crop of them this year. The human woman mutters and covers up the little trenches we dig them out of. I'm hoping more will grow in those spots later. Unfortunately the mosquitos are very thick this time of year, but due to my fluffiness, I am imune to their bites except on my delicate ears. The human woman gives us pills once a month that are suppose to keep the mosquitos from giving us heartworms, which are bad. You need to make sure your humans give you those pills each month too.

I'm really liking this cooler weather, and I've been trying to explain that to the human woman by planting my front feet on her chair and clawing her. She apparently doesn't understand, or I'm not clawing hard enough. I'll try that later, since I've just eaten and I'm going to go nap now.

Meeshka
(I'm dreaming of some nice grubbies)

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Grubs for everyone!

The human woman finally got off her lazy butt and mowed our back yard. Just in the nick of time, as the grass was getting just long enough to tickle my delicate po-po when I did my business. She managed to save herself a clawing for mowing.

Now that the grass is low, its perfect for grub digging. In order to get close enough to the ground to sniff, the grass has to be low, and then it has to be nice and wet in order to dig properly. A small trench will do. Be very careful not to just throw the dirt willy nilly (like Sammy does) or else you may scoop out the precious grub, and then someone devious like me who is standing behind you will steal it and eat it.

Loki managed to get two tasty grubs out of one hole. Unfortunately he’s learning how to do it properly (he’s been learning too much from me) and ate them both.

Sammy gets all excited and just throws dirt everyone. Nine times out of ten he’ll toss the grub out with the dirt, so its just a matter of time and getting a little dirty before that grub comes flying out. Its also good form to just cram your whole face in the hole to make sure the grub is still in there, and that nobody else can steal it.


Speaking of grub, one of those rescue places is having a fundraiser on 8 October 2006. This rescue helps gimpy dogs find homes (and remember, I’m all about finding gimpy dogs new homes so they don’t end up here, I’ve got enough of my own), so if you’re in the Philadelphia, PA area around that time, go get some grubs... ok, human food. For more information or if you can’t make it and just want to donate some money to them, go on over here: Moe's Mission and tell them that Meeshka sent you.


Meeshka
(If they had BBQ Grubs, I’d go)

Post from Agent 00K9


Your Highness Meeshka,

I'm sorry to hear that gimpy toed Loki went out and you did not, but please
share with us his trick of escaping his super safety harness. I could
certainly use that against my humans in the pursuit of husky liberation.
If I may say so, I love your newest picture. I am returning one of showing
off my handsome physic in the similar pose.


Your faithful warrior,
Agent 00K9

Saturday, September 16, 2006

International Be a Pain in the Butt Day

I’m declaring today “International Be a Pain in the Butt Day” or IBAPITBD for short.

Here’s what I’ve done so far:

1.) Got the human woman up at 5am for our breakfast as usual, but then let her sleep in until 8:30am, just to throw her off.

2.) Dug a GENORMOUS hole near the fence, which is not allowed in the yard, and forced the human woman to come out, chase us away, go get a hoe, chase us away from the hole again, scrape the dirt back into the hole (and there’s never enough dirt left to fill the hole), then return the hoe, and chase us away from the freshly covered hole.

3.) Wouldn’t come inside, so she was forced to herd me inside, and that’s when I turned all fluffy and playful and attacked her, which I’m not allowed to do unless she is wearing the “play coat” to keep me from damaging her human skin. This meant that she had to go in and get the “play coat” and then I wasn’t in the mood to play anymore.

4.) Came inside, drank some water, and then splashed it all over the kitchen where Sam and his muddy paws tracked up the entire house.

5.) Woo’d, clawed, pranced, woo’d, and clawed until the human woman asked if I needed to go out, pranced toward the door and at the last minute, veered away and ran into my crate.


6.) Woo’d, clawed, clawed, and pranced until she got up again, then ran into the bedroom.

7.) Lay under the table and constantly clawed her legs.

8.) Woo’d, pranced, clawed, and jumped on the couch and looked very cute and fluffy until she got the comb out, then ran down the hall and hid under a table.



9.) Woo’d, pranced, clawed, and chewed on her arm until she got up, then ran under the table again.



She is ready to strangle me at this point, but I’m cute and fluffy and playful.

I'll give her a half hour of peace, then go at it again.

So everydog, do what you can to drive your humans insane today!

Meeshka
(cute, fluffy, claws of steel)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Somebody Stop This Rain

It was so gloomy this morning (how gloomy was it?) that I slept in until 5 and didn’t get a chance to claw the human woman awake before the annoying alarm went off. Sigh, not a good way to start the morning. Every morning should start with a good claw of your human.

So, we go outside and its literally POURING buckets of rain. Now I can’t be expected to go out in that and do my business. I don’t see the human woman out there with her morning cup of coffee, sitting in the rain, so why should I be expected to do that.

I peed, tippy toed back to the house and demanded to be let back inside. Its insane I tell you.

At lunch, same thing. POURING rain out. Once again, tippy toe out, pee, tippy toe back in, demand to be let in.

At play time... you guessed it. Now a fluffy husky has certain needs to perform, and I simply cannot perform under these circumstances. No matter how much I woo and stomp my delicate little feet, the human woman has not gotten out the umbrella and held it over me so I can do my business without drops of water bonking me on the head and distracting me. She simply must stop the rain, or hold the umbrella over me.

It finally stopped to some degree later on in the night, so I’ll be going out to dig up more tasty grubs. I’m sorry to hear that they aren’t available everywhere. They certainly are plentiful in our yard, as I continue to find their delicate and tasty grubbiness and dining in style. The human woman says that they eat their grass from the roots up and are pests, so I would think that she would approve of my digging large holes to eradicate them from the yard. Apparently the whole digging and destroying large portions of the grass are not her idea of an effective solution to the problem. She’s never happy.

Meeshka
(grub buffet tonight)

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Just When I Was About To Give Up

Hey everyhusky,

I had every intention of posting the human woman for free on Craigslist today and looking for a new one. Ever since she’s been “back to work” she’s pretty much ignored us (except for feeding, letting us out, playing with us), she hasn’t “had time” to let me on the powerbook to blog, and she’s also been trying to hog most of the bed again. Oh, and get this, I wake her up at 4:30am expecting to be let out and fed, and she let us out, herded us back inside, and made us go back to sleep for another hour. Can you believe that?

Last night she didn’t get home until very late, something about trying to get someone animal friendly voted into office (I thought there were laws against animal friendly people, but who knows), that meant we were left with the human man, who fed us too much, got annoyed when we wanted in, then out, then in, then out, then in (unlike the human woman, who is like a trained sheep, bending to our whims). He didn’t appreciate being clawed at all either. So, no ricochet bed, no being chased around the yard, no used kleenex, no nothing.

Today they get home and ok they fed us, then threw us in the yard and forgot to turn our nightlight on (it attracts bugs that we chase and eat), and even cooked and ate without us supervising. I was really feeling as though they had totally abandoned us, and was trying to instruct Loki (since he almost has an opposable mutant thumb) how to dial the ASPCA to report their horrible abuse... when she did something nice for me.

You all know how much I like used kleenex, although I don’t have a problem there, but there’s one thing in the world that I like more than used kleenex. Yes, hard to believe that there’s something even more tastier than used kleenex, but there is...

GRUBS!

mmmmm, tasty, squirmy grubs. I can sense them in the ground and dig them out in seconds flat. I love grubs! You have to savor them to appreciate them, so I’ll savor a grub for a good 5 minutes before chewing it up.

Unfortunately, part of the grub digging process sometimes means that the grub is tossed with the dirt behind me, and Loki mutatoe, gimpy girlie weinie step-brother has figured this out. He’ll plant himself behind me and wait for the grub to get tossed out and then he STEALS MY GRUB!

This happened tonight. The rat fink grub stealer was sitting there with the tasty delicate grub between his skinny little chicken legs and wouldn’t give it to me. Luckily, the human woman came outside and distracted him just long enough for me to steal back my treat. The human woman knew something was up and told me to drop it. I didn’t want to. She insisted that I “trade up”, but I didn’t see anything tasty in her hands, so no way was I falling for that, but after the “stern” look, I ptooed the tasty grub out.

I thought for sure it was going to go with the mole, the birds, the snake, the squirrel, and all of the other tasty treats over the fence, but then... a miracle. The human woman looked at it, said “oh”, and then told me it was ok to have it. SHE GAVE IT BACK!

I got to savor the grub all to myself with no worries, no guarding it (except for Loki who was circling ominously), and took my sweet time about it. OOOH the tasty grubiness!

So, I guess I’ll let her hang around a bit more after that. Maybe she’s not that bad after all.

Meeshka
(tasty grub)

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Ok, I Admit He's Pretty Devious

While I'm leery about giving the annoying mutatoe gimpy puppy, weinie girl Loki any credit, I do have to admit that his little ploy today was ingenious.

Sam was hogging the part of the couch. In case you missed that story, the humans dragged up only PART of the couch from downstairs, which looks totally ridiculous, but does give us a cushy piece of furniture to sleep on.

Loki wanted to sleep on the cushy couch, but Sam kept hogging it.

Loki started barking and batting Sam upside the head with his mutant paw, bat, bat, bat, bark, bark, bark, bounce, bounce, bounce... until Sam couldn't take it any longer (especially after Loki called him Bionic Hip Girlie), and jumped down to chase Loki... except Loki ran straight past him, threw himself on the cushy couch and fell fast asleep, leaving Sam confused and angry.

It was fun to watch from the coolness of my personal vent (that's my fluff behind Loki).

Meeshka
(try that on me and I'll pile drive your puppy head into the floor)

It Should Be Safe Now


Ok everyhusky, Uncle Jack is winging his way back to the West Coast, so if should be safe enough to come out of hiding now.

Before he left, he ate some foods, and no, didn’t share any with us, even though it smelled very tasty.

Its even more boring around the house now without him here. The humans are back to sitting at their computers, hogging them. We’re left to sniff around and see if there’s anything tasty we can get into. Loki is licking his butt again. I’m being cute and fluffy. Sam is annoying. Same old routine again.

I guess we’re back to the same old routine again, and I’m once again the center of attention... unless those antibiotics don’t work, then Loki will be the center of attention. Hmm, perhaps its time for one of my skin allergy flare ups so I can go on a ride to the vet.

Meeshka
(almost time for dinner)

Saying Good-bye to Uncle Jack

The humans are doing the usual prep work for Uncle Jack to leave. The signs are all there, laundry stuff, packing stuff, ignoring us stuff.

I was just glaring at the human woman, who kept looking over at me nervously, wondering what I was up to, what I was about to do, would it involve pain.

They went out to eat last night, dragging home the remnants and not sharing. For that, we kept the human woman awake half the night demanding to be let out. Its only right.

We’ll be glad to see Uncle Jack go, not because we don’t like him, but mainly because while he’s here, the humans keep the bedroom door closed and it gets really hot in there at night. We aren’t able to meander out when we want and get a drink of water, we aren’t allowed to sprawl in cool places if we feel like it. We like our freedom to roam at night... even though we don’t because someone will steal our bed spot.

It’ll also be good to get back to a “normal” routine where we know what to expect and when. Its really hard to nap when you don’t know what the humans’ plans are. We haven’t had a really good play time since he arrived, just some bed ricocheting once in a while. Then there’s having the human woman not in her usual spot and me not able to lay in my usual spot under the table, clawing her leg when I feel like it.

Overall, its good to have Uncle Jack around (except for that pesky curse thing), but then again, its nice to get back to our normal routine again.

Have a safe flight Uncle Jack, we’ll maul you next year!

Meeshka

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Funny Human Things

I’m sure all of your humans do some of these things. If they do other things, please post a comment and let us all know. Not only can we share intelligence and overcome some of these obstacles, but we can make fun of the humans while we’re at it.

1.) Putting food in the microwave (small food safe) or oven (big food safe).

My humans put things that can’t be guarded into the “food safes” to keep us from getting it. Mostly its food items, such as the boxes of pizza the delivery guy we can never attack delivers, or the hunan food that the other guy we can never attack delivers. Sometimes its food the human woman cooks. A lot of the time they forget its in there, which means it gets thrown out. I fail to see why they do that, then throw the food out, when all they had to do was give it to us in the first place, and then food wouldn’t go to waste. Humans are such wasteful creatures.

2.) Baby Gates

While I their attempts to “keep us safe” by making sure we don’t dash out the door, the use of baby gates throughout this house is embarrassing. Its like a maze of baby gates going on around here. One for the computer room (so Sam doesn’t pee on the expensive computer gear in there), one for the top of the stairs (to keep us from making a dash out the front door). One in front of this thing called a shredder (so we don’t stick our tongues in the slot, and frankly who would want to stick their tongue in something called a “shredder” but unfortunately that appears to happen to more than one dog, therefore, I guess necessary... unless they’re shredded cheese in it, and in that case my tongue is in there). One downstairs in the room that use to be our spacious crate area and all around riccochet room, but is now a “photo studio”.

3.) Simple Human Trash Cans

The scourge of all dogs, the impenetrable and evil simple human trash cans. Well named, because humans are a very simple lot, but whoever developed this devious and clever device should be banished from this husky earth. While some are easy to open with a flick of the nose, the butterfly model is totally unbreakable, impossible to open, and a menace to table scraps. No more simply dumping the trash over and picking through it, this thing keeps its goodies safe until the humans dump it out. Torture.

4.) The Dyson Vacuum

We spend a lot of time cultivating nice bunches of fluff to deposit on the carpet and mark that territory as our own, and along comes this piece of purple junk. Even the most hidden hair is removed with surgical precision, every crack and crevice hair is sucked up, and (the gall of them) its attachments work just as well, ridding our dog beds (our sacred spots) of our glorious fur.

5.) Champion Canine harness and seatbelt system

This well sewn, double clasp, double d-ringed super-duper adjustable harness makes it nearly impossible to escape. Add the bullsnap leash, the walking belt with locking caribiner, and the seatbelt holder and you’ve got a lot of work to struggle out of that mess in order to make a clean get away. Agent Mutatoe Loki has reported that you can simply back out of the harness with a decent enough tug in a playbow position in order to get it out from under your legs... BUT, on further inspection, the human realized that his harness was not properly adjusted due to some porky Loki weight gain, which allowed the escape. She adjusted the harnessed appropriately, and once again, he’s trapped in that harness vice grip. Of course, the humans look like total tards walking around with all their gear on but they don’t seem to care, as long as we’re trapped and unable to sprint to freedom and rummage around in stranger’s trash cans.

6.) Quikrete and Chicken Wire

If you see your human digging a little trench near the fenceline, kiss your dig escapes good bye. A trench, layer of chicken wire, quikrete, water, and you have a barrier even the best digger can’t get through. If they’re really tricky, the humans will even dig under the fenceline and squish that quikrete stuff under the fence, making it even more of a challenge that will dull your best digging claws. If they’re really mean, they’ll also spread your own poo on your favorite digging spot to deter your rightful trenching. Come on! You don’t see us spreading their poo around our cushy pillows to keep that dyson from sucking up our lovely fur!

7.) Walkway pavers, padlock, other barriers on gate

If your humans are like mine, they’re really into the whole overkill of caution. We have a gate. Although the humans don’t think we know there’s a door in the fence, we know it, and have tried our best to use that as an escape conduit. This resulted in them stacking bags of rocks on both sides of that fencing section, quikreting and chicken wiring it, then sinking walkway pavers under the gate to keep us from digging there, a padlock (and they keep the key too high for us to reach), a board, and half a large crate top in front of the actual gate. Ok, we’re devious, but even we think that’s a bit of overkill.

8.) Constant Monitoring

Not one second of the day passes where we aren’t monitored in some fashion. I know death row prisoners (not personally) with less restrictions and more privacy than we have. They aren’t obvious (except that we can smell them even when they think they’re hiding), and will sneak and look at us from behind the back door, or sneak onto the deck and peer down at us, or look out windows. Its very hard to get any constructive digging, chewing of “bad” things, or grub eating done without them telling us to stop. Sometimes we hide. We see them peering out the upstairs window, then go to the spots where they can’t see us. We judge the time it will take them to rush downstairs and peer at us from the backdoor and scurry over to a tree where they can’t see us from the back door. Then they’ll come rushing out frantically, and we rush out laughing and leaping with joy because we made them freak out.

If your humans have other ridiculous methods to limiting your freedoms, let the group know. If you have any solutions to the problems above, also let me know.

Meeshka
(a husky can’t even stretch without getting the evil human eye)

Another Lazy Vacation Day

It is yet another lazy day here at Meeshka World. The humans have pretty much done NOTHING exciting today. They slept in, except for the human woman, who we got up promptly at 6:30am. She was devious though, she took us outside and then I’m pretty sure she fell asleep someplace and left us out there starving for a while.

Loki’s butt problem seems much better since his trip to the vet, none of that non-stop annoying licking going on.

The human woman shared her croissant with me, which I thought was nice, but it would have been much nicer had she just given me the whole thing.

She also bought me a new blogging software thing to try out. She said it would be much easier for me to blog now (still no dog keyboard though), and then she would have to spend less time typing stuff in for me and adding pictures. As soon as she gets me the dog keyboard, I’ll be able to do away with her... ok, so there’s that whole buying of food and dishing out of food thing, so I guess I’ll need to keep her around for that.

OH, while she’s been laying around and doing nothing, I did make her create some more Meeshka wear items for cafe press. Check out the new stuff at: http://www.cafepress.com/gimpy_dogs/926952

I have no idea if that link translated up to blogger correctly, so bear with me while I learn this new software. I’m using MacJournal 4, in case anyone was wondering.

Meeshka
(don’t the humans do ANYTHING exciting on vacation?)

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Sam's Favorite New Sleepy Position

Since Uncle Jack is here, the humans are keeping the bedroom door closed, so we're forced to find new loungy spots througout the house. Sam has hogged the half of the couch that is now upstairs and is calling it his own.

I prefer the air vent near the half a couch, Loki (the suck up mutant) curls up beside the human woman.

Today, Uncle Jack learned my "I want" noise. He was eating something and selfishly kept it to himself, so I gave him the "I want" noise, expecting him to just drop the goody on the floor for me, as the humans are trained to do. This did not happen. Therefore, I was forced to claw him. You should have heard the shriek. It was glorious. He still didn't drop the goody, so he's going to be harder to train than the humans apparently.

Meeshka
(nobody can resist the "I want" noise)

Loki's Butt update

As you can see, I was totally concentrating on what the human woman was telling us about Loki's vet visit.

Just as the human woman suspected (and we could have told her after one sniff) that Loki has a bit of an infection in his left anal gland. It was reported that he screamed like a little girl when it was expressed. He's such a weenie. He gets antibiotics for the next 14 days then he gets to go back and get checked again, where I'm sure he'll scream like a little girl dog.

He also didn't get to go to Starbucks, but he did manage to back out of his super safety harness while in the truck, much to the humans chagrin. He promised to tell us how he did it so perhaps we can pull off an escape next time we're out. Knowing the humans, they'll rivet the harness to our fur the next time we go out. I just don't understand why they don't trust us.

After our thorough sniffing of him, I allowed him to rejoin the pack (only because he's fun to bully). I've also started allowing him to play with me, but he's such a dork that he doesn't understand that when I tippy toe away from him, that means he's suppose to attack me. Once he attacks me, I slam his body to the ground. No, he won't follow and attack me... hmm, maybe he's not so stupid after all.

Shortly after this picture was taken, the human woman stole my bone.

Meeshka

Loki's Butt (and other fun things)

The suck up gimpy mutatoe (aka: Loki) has been obsessed with his butt recently. Ok, so we dogs can lick back there, but that's only because the humans won't allow us our own roll of toilet paper, so what other option do we have?

Loki has taken cleanliness to the extreme though, and the humans think he's got a butt issue that needs to be taken care of at the vet. I clearly heard the human woman making an appointment for him, which means he gets to go for a ride in the car, and he gets to go into the place where they torture you (hehe), but then he gets to ride home in the car, and perhaps the humans will feel sorry for him and take him to the Starbucks place, which would really make me mad. I am the fluffiest and cutest and therefore am the only one qualified to go to the Starbucks place.

Late last night as we were going out for our "pee-pee final" (human woman and those double words, remind me to claw her later), and there was something in our yard! We immediately went after it, sending the human woman scurrying for the flashlight and calling out the reinforcements, knowing that should we get ahold of this trespasser, it would be impossible to get it away from us before Sam swallowed it whole (whatever it was). Unfortunately for us, the interloper got away, it leapt over the fence before we could ravage it, but not before we all ran into the fence with a resounding thud that had the human woman convinced that we had knocked over the fence and were still racing after this thing through the neighborhood. The humans were all quite frantic when they came to get us. Wouldn't even let us sufficiently sniff the areas where the interloper was, herded us back into the house for our "safety". I didn't even have a chance to go pee!

To make up for the loss, I made the human woman get up at 4:30am to feed us, and let me go pee, since I had been holding it all night. The nerve of them.

Meeshka
(tasty used kleenex for breakfast today)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Positioning for the Attack

Positioning is everything when you are stalking your prey. The closer you get, the more your can hear the rustling of them waking, moving about, and are better prepared for leaping at your prey the moment the door opens.

A happy, fluffy greeting is essential to making sure that your guests feel loved and wanted. They least expect to open the door and be bombarded with happy fluffy clawing puppies.






Then, the moment arrives, you hear the doorknob turn, and you leap to your feet, spring to action, and your first move is to leap on the door to push the human prey back and off balance. That's when you can claw mercilessly your greeting. MORNING!!!!! GOOD MORNING!!!!

This morning I managed to get a good rear vantage point and did my leap and claw the back routine. It was wonderful watching Uncle Jack squirm.

Its going to be a boring day today because it is raining, and there's no way I'm going out in that. Too cold, too wet, it makes my fluffiness lay down and I don't like that.

Meeshka
(just say no to rain)

Monday, September 04, 2006

The Art of Sprawl

Its labor day here in the US, so the best way to "celebrate" labor day is to sprawl. Here is a good example.

We started our day today with pushing the door open to Uncle Jack's room and stomping on him gleefully. He didn't scream or anything, and the human woman only noticed because we weren't clawing her. She came and told us to get out, which we did, but still, victory.

We went outside and made the neighbor dogs bark at us. We don't bark, which I'm sure makes the neighbor mad because we're all quiet and her dogs bark, bark, bark, all the time. We scratch at the fence and get them going, then run back and forth along the fence, scratching at it to get them to bark some more. Great fun until the human woman came out and told us to stop torturing the neighbor dogs.

Then we stomped on the human man and got him up, then attacked Uncle Jack again. Now we're exhausted, so we're taking a nap. I heard the human woman say that she was going to clean up all of the tasty sticks that fell in the yard today. Figures she would ruin our fun so early in the week.

Meeshka
(fluffy)

Unfortunately We Have a "Winner"

I'm sad to report that Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, has passed away.

In what authorities are calling a freak accident, he was filming stingrays for a documentary, and was speared in the heart by one, killing him instantly.

While pretty much known in the US for his "CRIKEY", and wrestling of alligators, he was also the director of the Australian Zoo in Queensland, and he and his wife Terri were really big conservationists. Terri is from Oregon (Uncle Jack is from Oregon).

At least he died doing what he loved to do.

My condolences go out to Opy and Chuck-z in the loss of their fellow Oz-ian.

Meeshka
(sorry, its the curse of Uncle Jack)

Sunday, September 03, 2006

HULA Report from Agent 00K9

Dear Queen Meeshka,

First let me say that I am your dedicated servant. You are the most beautiful, intelligent and fluffy Husky blogger that I have ever seen. I bow to your leadership.

I recently learned of the wonderful warfare that you are directing via your blog. Since then, I’ve been studying typing and e-mail. What great human inventions! Having recently acquired my own Paw Pilot, I am now connected and able to send updates on my contributions to HULA.

Just like you, I am sovereign of my home. Being a full blooded handsome husky in a home of humans and gimpy rescues, I am in charge. I laugh at their gimpy-ness. I revel in my dominance and thick fluffy coat. No human or gimpy rescue can keep up with me.


Yesterday was a great day! A coup for all husky-kind. Not only was I able to trick my human woman, escape out the garage door and make her run after me for miles, I was also able to convince one of those “rescues” she brings home to pull her lunch off the counter. While the human had her head in the cool box thing that human food comes from, I nipped the rescue on the rear and ate the sandwich that he had pulled off the counter. I would have been able to totally get away with it if I had taken the time to lick the mustard off my muzzle. I’ll know next time!

The escape was fantastic! I showed her how fast I can run. How I will stop until she is just within a few feet and then take off again. The two legged slow poke was so out of breath by the time I allowed her to catch me that she couldn’t even yell at me. What fun it was!

One of the gimpy dogs that live in my house is an old Alaskan malamute rescue that the human woman brought home. Her name is Sweetie.

She was very sick when she came to live with us. The humans said she had been living on the streets for a long time. During her homeless time, she caught Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever from the pesky mosquitoes around here. Sometimes she still gets nose bleeds that I like to lick because its fun to see the humans start screaming. I have attached her picture to show you how really really fluffy she is. The human woman says that she is my cousin but I don’t believe it.
I will keep you posted with my adventures.

Keep up the good work.

Your most handsome, fastest, and special fan,

Agent 00K9

Give it To ME!

The human man has been feeling sickly again, which means only one thing: KLEENEX!

I love kleenex. Very tasty, especially used. He has the gall to leave it on his computer table and then yell at me when I try to get it! Can you believe that.

So, I waited for him to leave the room, actually all of them left the room, but the kleenex was still too far away for me to reach. THWARTED!

Then I thought that perhaps they always yell at me because I just help myself to it, so I figured I would simply try to ask for it.

woo
nothing.

Woo
nothing

WOO!

The human woman came in, I dutifully pointed at the kleenex and told her in my cute fluffy look "excuse me, I'm sure the human man left those for me to have, so could you please get them off the table for me?"

She threw them away.

Lesson learned: don't ask, just take and who cares if you sweep expensive computer gadgets off the table, they shouldn't leave them on the table anyway.

Meeshka
(I need my daily fiber)

The Airport Adventure (which I didn't go on) and Uncle Jack is HERE!

I wanted to go to the airport and pick up Uncle Jack with the humans, but the human woman told me that the airport has a new rule where no liquids are allowed. Since dogs contain liquids, I wasn't allowed at the airport. Although humans have stupid rules, I think she pulled a fast one on me.

She reported back to me that the police at the airport now ride these things called Segways

They were all over the place, zooming around, doing little donuts, whipping about here and there. There was a little convoy of them zooming around too. Although I think the humans should get them once we outlaw all cars in Meeshka World, I'm thinking that our Homeland Security dollars could be used a bit wiser in the airport security arena. After all, what if the terrorist (call me crazy) runs up the stairs?

Anyhoo, Uncle Jack came in and we, of course, mauled him, and the human woman, of course, didn't get any pictures of the mauling. For the first day or so, we have to follow him everywhere, just to make sure he knows where everything is, and in case he drops food.


Every morning we have to lay by the door until he wakes up, and then its like he's just come in again, and the mauling starts all over.

I made sure to claw him really good when he woke up, just to remind him who was the boss of the house. He knows that though, which is why we love Uncle Jack.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Uncle Jack will be here soon

I've been spending most of my day being a really big pain.

We slept most of yesterday, since it was raining and the only other thing to do was to sit in the rain, which is out of the question. So we napped most of the day, then went to bed early, which means getting up bright and early and ready to play.

The human woman wasn't in the play mood, I guess, since she's still stiff and sore from her trip (get it, I made a human joke), so I made sure to claw her, and bump into her, and bounce on her. Its all theraputic of course, since it'll make her get better faster if she's moving around avoiding the claw.

Tropical Depression Ernesto was quite a dud, although we do have plenty of tasty branches to chew on and fight over. The rain did make it easier to dig nice muddy holes too. We've been making sure the yard is properly irrigated with holes, then we walk around the freshly mopped kitchen floor. Of course, I like clean paws, so I make sure to dip them in my water bowl, then walk around the freshly mopped kitchen floor. The human woman really appreciates that after all the work she did to clean the kitchen yesterday.

I've asked the human woman to get some pics of us greeting Uncle Jack, since some of you non-husky types need a lesson on properly greeting people into your house. Most of the time it involves human blood, or a broken appendage such as a nose. My specialty is the eye torpedo; wait for them to lean over to pet you, then leap straight up. Gets them every time!

We're very excited about his visit, and can't wait to give him the proper maul greeting, which lasts about 5 minutes, then we get bored and chase each other.

Meeshka
(out finding some nice mud to roll in)