Sunday, February 25, 2007

Odds (like Loki) and Ends


What an exciting day, I'm sure you can see the excitement on my face here. Once again locked out of the bottom room, no sniffing for goodies, or playing with Sammy... not yet. We did get a quick visit the other day, but not for very long.
The human woman spent all weekend down there with Sammy. Oh sure, she came upstairs for some obligatory petting and belly rubs, but I'm going through human woman withdrawal. I need someone to claw 24X7, I need someone waiting on me hand and foot all the time, scratching my tummy when I want it scratched, not some obligatory fly by, "oh, its you laying in my way, how about some quick attention before I go back down and give Sammy all sorts of treats and attention". Harumpf.

We had some questions about the lame anti-Sam-jumping on the couch device, so here is a picture of such a device. As you can see, its very impressive, that big piece of cardboard shoved against a coffee table. Sam appears to be totally stumped about how to defeat such a high-tech device. Yeah, right, he gets on the couch like nothing was there, and the humans continue to be amazed at his ingenuity. These are people that drive cars and are responsible for banking transactions. Come on, if they're amazed by this, then taking over the world will surely be a piece of cake. By the way, Sam's fur still isn't growing back very fast, and he still looks like a dork.

The good news for today is that it actually SNOWED and we got to play in the snow! Well, Loki ran around like a loon, and I was smart enough to stay on the deck because when he gets in snow mode, he just loses all of his senses and tries to attack me. He's like a little gimpy pirhana, bouncing all over the place all happy and nutty. Here he is attacking me on the deck like a nutcase. He's lucky to still have all of his legs after that. Just knocked me over and started chewing on me, like he owned the deck or something.

Well, I'm a bit worn out from laying in the snow, so that's it for tonight.

Meeshka

Monday, February 19, 2007

Sammy Has All The Fun


Once again the gimpy suck up mutatoe and I were left behind in the house while that spineless, bionic hip, Lymey Sammy got to go in the truck and on a cool adventure. Apparently it was his final check up to make sure he still doesn’t have a spine (he doesn’t), so he got to drive all the way across this cold, icy, silly Merryland state and visit the cool doctor that has the indoor puppy pool.

Sammy is quite a genius in thinking up ways to drive the humans crazy with his limited mobility. Yesterday, despite their careful crafting of an anti-Sammy-jumping-on-the-couch device, he managed to thwart their lame attempts and was laying on the couch smiling when the human woman abandoned us and went back down there to spend time with him.

Today he managed to hold a whole lot of pee, refused to pee outside of the doctor’s office, and the moment the human woman plopped her big butt in a waiting room chair, squatted and peed a river, right in the waiting room! Not only did he pee a river, but when he pees like a girl, he can shoot pee across a room practically. This was particularly worrisome to some humans that had their little dachshund wiener dog sitting on their lap, as the fountain of pee came pretty close to their feet. Afterwards, Sammy did a little victory dance, and wiggled happily when the guy with the mop came out.

Apparently Sammy is 70% healed (well, he may be 70% healed, but the fur isn’t growing back, so he’s still 100% ridiculous looking), so they’re lifting some of his restrictions. Of course, we haven’t seen any lifting of our restrictions, we’re still left to our own devices, and frankly its very boring without an audience, so we just lay around and pout most of the time. I tell you, pouting is very tiring.

So, in the next few weeks (geez, like he hasn’t been an attention leech long enough) Sam will get to walk around outside without that stupid sling thing, he’ll have to be on a leash though, and he’ll still have to go out by himself because he’s not well enough for us to tackle and pounce on him. He’ll get to walk outside more, he also gets to walk up the three steps to the back yard, but he can’t walk down them yet, that’ll take a few more weeks, especially since Sam’s method of walking down three steps is actually swan diving down them... yeah, that freaks the humans out.

We’ll get short visits with Sam downstairs in a while, which is cool. I don’t know if we each get a visit, or if we’ll have one big massive husky visit, which I’m sure will be non-stressful to the humans, hehehe. Pretty soon, we’ll all be back to normal and on our original mission to take over the world and drive the humans insane in the process.

Oh, the doctor is pretty sure that his little leaking issue will clear up once he’s off the medicine, and he doesn’t have to swim anymore because he’s doing amazingly well for a recovering spine surgical dog. Apparently his surgeon was just amazed and happy at how he’s doing... leave it to the suck up to be the best healing dog in the world. Sometimes I think he hurts himself just to show everyone just how well he heals. Look everyone, its the amazing healing dog!

So, to celebrate his new found less restrictions, he immediately foiled the anti-couch device again and was laying there all happy and waggy tail when the human woman came back down the stairs. We applauded him from our vantage point for his insolence.

Meeshka
(so glad Sammy is healing so the attention can come back to ME!)

Thursday, February 15, 2007

HULA Operatives Create Dangerous Peanut Butter

Ok everyhusky, dog, and Fu-Fu, the HULA operatives are trying a new way for us to rule the world. Unfortunately the humans found out and are trying to put a stop to it.

I just received word from HULA operatives that the dog treat called peanut butter has been recalled. The HULA operatives have contaminated the Peter Pan brand and the brand called Great Value (which apparently isn’t) with a fish called Salmonella.

The plan was that since us dogs sorta have a tolerance to this evil Salmonella fish thing, that we would contaminate the humans through our poo and saliva, they would spend all of their time on the toilet with diarrhea and we would take over the world. Sure, some of us would get sick from it (fever, diarrhea and abdominal pain), but that’s the price we have to pay in order to take over the world. Its treatable, there wouldn’t be any mass casualties on the dog side of it, but think of the possibilities!

Since the humans have found out our plan, they are taking those brands off the shelf and warning other humans about it. We’ve had reports that jars of the Salmonella fish peanut butter had actually made their way to some of our HULA HOOP, so we were VERY close to taking over at least part of the world!

I have to admit that the plan was foiled here because the human woman is a choosy mother and she chose JIF for us. It doesn’t matter, since we rule this house anyway, and she has enough gastro intestinal issues to deal with without the fish contamination. We’ve actually made her take us out through the downstairs now because the steps of the deck were treacherous. We get to sniff Sammy through a baby gate, although he was yelling at the suck up Mutatoe about that whole spine thing. Apparently Sam thinks his spine injury was actually a plot by the suck up gimpy mutatoe to get rid of him. Its going to be ugly in here when he finally gets well enough and starts pile driving the mutatoe’s head into the carpet. Don’t worry, I’ll get pictures of that.

Meeshka
(If you believe in peanut butter, crap your pants)

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

The fugitive, Brutus, was captured by Harney County Library but has since escaped with the aid of HULA, the Husky United Liberation Army. Brutus evidently took the HULA slogan, "Power to the Fluffy," to heart and convinced cellmate Tova to escape with him. We captured the breakout on film.









Monday, February 12, 2007

New Hula Member: Star and Sherman

Dear Meeshka,

Perhaps while your human woman is sick & napping a lot, you would have
time to review our application to officially become HULA members.

I am Star, an alpha by nature, but I bow to you. Sherman is an
excellent follower. I already have him pre-trained to give obedience
to a qualified female leader. And he excels at disruptive behavior!

We like to distress the humans by killing and dismembering small
mammals. Even though the humans have surrounded us by 6" kennel
fencing, we have an impressive list of prey, including skunks,
opposums, raccoons, and the usual squirrels, rabbits, birds, and mice.
(but we never hurt cats or Fu Fu hamsters, we like those.) Our humans
are especially distressed when I catch skunks, yet I must endure the
humiliation of a bath after my show of skill.


Sherman has managed to also cause distress by destroying things. He
is quite the hole digger, as you can see in this photo. And two days ago he ate our
plastic food scoop, causing Hu-mom to freak out & call the vet way after hours.
Then he got fed all kinds of tasty goodies full of fiber. Now she has to collect & sort
through his poo – watching her is keeping us pretty amused!

I also excel at guilting the humans, causing the young male to
exclaim "Why do you look at me like I'm some kind of ax-murderer every
time I have to leave?" This is always followed by some extra ear rubs
or a treat. Lastly, I offer a photo as proof of how cruel our humans
can be. Look at me. Is this not pathetic? I will NEVER
allow them to do this again. It just ain't right.

We hope to hear that we have been accepted into the ranks of HULA. We
would love to display the logo on our website, Cyber-sibes: Siberians
in cyber-space


Woos,

Star and Sherman


P.S. Dear Meeshka,

I'm writing on Sherman's behalf, as I think his latest caper is worthy
of adding to our HULA application we sent you a week or so ago.

As part of his non-food diet binge (we told yu about the plastic food
scoop part), he caused the humans even greater confusion and dismay
when he ate the check Humom left for the dogsitter ($160.00) along
with the envelope, before sitter-lady came feed us when Humom was gone
to a fun-e-ral (how dare she go to something fun without us!)
Sitter-lady says,"Thank goodness you didn't leave cash!"
I dunno, that sounds like it may be tastier than checks.

Wooos to you,

Star

Saturday, February 10, 2007

I can Smell It


My Spot
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Can you smell it?
It is snow.
I know its snow.
I can feel the snow approaching, and its about time.

With the human woman hiding from my claw, and nobody but the suck up gimpy mutatoe to play with all this time, I'm downright bored stiff and need some snow.

I was able to watch some tv and the weather people are going absolutely crazy over the possibility that there MIGHT be a big snow storm. To them a "big snow storm" is like an inch. They are insane.

To me, a nice snow storm is what they're getting up in that New York place (by the way, that place has been around for a long time, so shouldn't they just call it York already?) They got like 100 inches of snow. Now that's snow!

Of course, we won't get that much snow, I doubt (because of the freaking out of the weather people) if we'll get ANY snow. You can't trust those weather people.

By the way, for those of you wondering, Sam is doing well, and he managed to pee in the human woman's shoe today. She's very pleased.

Meeshka
(Neal Estano, if we don't get snow you WILL feel the wrath of my claw)

New HULA Member: Frodo


Formal Application For HULA Membership:

I, Frodo K. Banks, Husky Ninja in Training, do hereby apply for membership of the Husky United Liberation Army (HULA). Below is my official list of qualifications (other than being a Husky):

1. Demonstrating disruptive behavior:
As part of my Husky Ninja Training, I am required to be as stealthy as possible, and observe without being observed, so for the most part I am not allowed to be disruptive. However, this rule goes out the window at dog washes. Grrrrr... I HATE baths. So I make sure to scream bloody murder every time Mom touches me, or brushes me, or moves me, or the water's too cold, or hot, or wet... Mom is constantly apologizing for me. And by the time we leave, the dog wash employees are either looking quite haggard (from running over every time I scream) or ready to call animal services to report the mean lady who abuses her dog in the dog wash. I do look pretty good after my bath, though, ifIdosaysomyself... Click here for evidence

3..2. Cause your human to freak out for no real reason:
One of my requirements for Husky Ninja training is to practice the art of extreme surprise, so I do this quite often. In fact, just last night, my Mom took me for a long walk and when we walked in the house, I immediately went to the kitchen and started bleeding all over the place. Talk about freaking out!!! My Mom looks down and I am standing there perfectly still and there is blood every where! The kitchen looked like a murder scene!!! And to make it even better, she couldn't figure out where the blood was coming from, so she kept trying to wipe off spots, but more would appear; it was all over the floor, the rug, the cabinets, my paws, my face, my ears, my neck... she was FREAKED (don't worry fellow huskies, I simply tore my ear a bit on a thorn bush, but I kept shaking my head and that sent the blood flying all over the place!)Harr Harrrrooooo... pretty funny.

3. Cause human guilt for no reason, other to get attention or treats:
I have gotten pretty good at the woebegone look of dismay that makes Mom and the DeeLan feel uber guilty and take me to the dogpark. I give them this look... ... and it's all over. We're going to the dogpark!!!

4. Destroy something:
I was going to provide a picture of the evidence of my destructive tendencies, but Mom confiscated them all 'cause she said it would be 'offensive'. I am a Member of UEA (Undie Eaters Anonymous). My name is Frodo and I eat undies. I have been clean for 2 months (but only because the humans have been good about putting the clothes in the wood box they call a 'hamper'). Once, I went through an entire pile of laundry waiting to be washed and pulled out every pair of undies and shredded them. I went through 7 pairs of undies in 10 minutes, that's how bad my addiction was. I went through rehab and am hopefully on the road to recovery, but it's a long hard road, as you other clothing addicts are aware, so I attend UEA meetings weekly.

But, hey! I'm also good at shredding and gutting a stuffie in less than 30 seconds!

4. Human behavior modification:
My Mom used to be a decent sleeper, but then I adopted her, and now a pin drop would wake the woman. See, I have an upset tummy sometimes, and sometimes I just have to get up at night to go potty. So, I've trained her to wake at the slightest jingle of my collar to make sure that she gets up to let me out. My predecessor, Bean, also trained my Mom to wake up at the sound of his breathing... he was good! When he had to go potty, he'd sit next to the bed and breathe really heavy, and that would wake her up, but not his Dad, so she'd always have to take him out. Harrrrroooo.

5. Being dressed up as something for the humor of the humans:

Need I say more? But wait, there is more...

Can you believe they had the nerve to dress HUSKIES up in coats? In Sandy Egg-O of all places!!! At least they didn't make us wear them at the beach. That would have been too much humiliation to bear. As you can see, I am clearly protesting this demeaning act (while my suck-up cousin, Clemmie, is just eating it up. She loves getting dressed up and lets her Mom, Auntie HiDeeHoe, do it all the time!!! She'll never be a HULA member.)

5. Love of Kleenex:
Although I do not eat Kleenex (as you saw above, I prefer richer material), I do like to take them out of the trashcan and distribute them all over the house. No real reason other than to make my Mom think that DeeLan is leaving his dirty Kleenex on the floor everywhere. Hee hee... I had her going for weeks, but I think she might have caught on by now.

Please accept this letter to apply for the HULA, your forever vigilant servant, in the open, and in the shadows of the CaNinja societies,
Frodo K. Banks

(I don’t know how you stand it Frodo... the horror - Meeshka)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Sam Turns into a Lime

Ok, everyhusky (and dog and Fu-Fu),

I just heard the human woman on the phone with the human man. She got a call from the doctor and the doctor said that Sam was going to turn into a giant lime. Yes, that’s what she said... you dare doubt me??

Apparently they got him some medicine and they’ve caught it in time, but if they hadn’t, I can only imagine that this is what he would have started to look like.

I’ve seen what the humans do to limes too! They cut them into little strips and put them in those beer things and get drunk. Can you imagine the horror of that? They also use them for cooking. I know for a fact that they are very bitter, as I’ve tasted one that fell on the floor. The human woman made fun of the fact that I made and I had to claw her. It wasn’t funny at all.

I started to wonder about that Sam, after all, his pee mail is a bit funky lately, and he’s been spending time at that pool, and I know that the humans drink beer at the pool and stuff, and apparently there’s a game that they play called pool that involves limes. I think they’re just using him now to get beers.

Meeshka
(watch out, who knows what other fruit we can turn into without medication)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Its All About Me


Regal
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Sundays appear to be a good "all about me" day, since Spineless Sammy is so worn out from his swimming thing on sundays, and the human woman is up here with us more, so we get more opportunity to drive her insane and make her play with us. So, I'm declaring Sundays "All about me" day.

Today I did some major napping. It was a nappy kind of day, so I took advantage of that. I also demanded my lunch earlier than normal, and with no surprise, the human woman fixed it for me. I love it when she doesn't feel good and doesn't argue with me.

I decided that I wanted her to go out and play with us, and after some clawing, and grabbing her hand with my teeth, she decided that going out to play with me was the right thing to do, and she even brought her camera. I was nice enough to pose.

After a good play session, where I chased Loki because he was obnoxious, we came inside and I demanded dinner early... just because. Worn out from playing with us, the human woman gladly complied, just because I wouldn't let her say no.

So, all in all, it was a very good "all about me" day, as I got my way with everything.

oh, and here's a picture of Sammy swimming

Meeshka

Friday, February 02, 2007

If I Ignore It....

You would think that after 5 years the gimpy suck up mutatoe would finally figure out that no matter how much he play bows, yaps, hits me with that creepy mutatoe paw of his... I'm not going to play with him.

You would also think that after 5 years of him making me mad enough to skitter and screech at him, catch him, pile drive his head into the ground and literally scare the pee out of him, that making me angry isn't the same as "playing".

But no.

The human woman has the flu, so you know what this means! Yep, tasty used kleenex all over the place! I love it when the human woman is sick, so many goodies for me. This also means a lot of napping for us, and there's nothing better than waiting for the human woman to nap, then bounce on her. So much fun! I almost can't contain my glee.

Another added bonus is that because Sammy has to take pills, and Sammy hates pills, the human woman found that if she bribed him with the tasty croissant, he'll sit still for his pill if he knows that he'll get tasty croissant after the pill. Since the tasty croissant are located in the kitchen on a shelf we can't reach, we now plant ourselves in the kitchen at specific pill giving times and block her path so she can't escape. Her toll to get out of the kitchen is at least three tasty croissant bites for each of us.

Sammy continues to do very well, and since he's in recovery, he must make small HULA steps of victory now. While some of his "adventures" may not seem a big deal to us seasoned and healthy HULA Hoopers, to Sammy they are a big deal (and I think they are too) and just goes to show that he is improving and getting better.

Today, for instance, the humans were lolling on the floor sucking down their coffee and trying to wake up. They call this their "Sammy time" because while they're down there doing that, Sam is out of his recovery crate, eating and drinking. We know its just their excuse to lay down there and drink coffee. Sammy sauntered casually over toward the air bed that the humans sleep on down there. He sniffed it, like he's sniffed it before. Then magically, one minute he's on the floor, and the next he's proudly standing on the air bed, wagging his tail, very proud of himself. From our upstairs seats, Loki and I applauded loudly. What a moment!

The human woman carried him off it, but you can't ever take that moment away from him.

One small step for a husky... one giant leap for husky kind.

Meeshka
(is it pill time yet?)