Friday, November 30, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (again)

Despite the many talents of the other Hero Huskies, the humans continue to be stupid (what a shock), so more HULA members must unleash their inner talents and help rid the earth of stupid people.
Khyra, the appointed husky in charge of changing the stupid human alphabet and ridding it of redundant letters to make it simpler, such as deleting the pesky and worthless letter "C" using her sweet brown eyes to melt every human that looks into them.










Super puppy Juneau learned the art of flying at an early age. When not cruising the skies with Turbo, smacking stupid humans on the head, Juneau flies around looking for humans carrying food products in those silly "green" grocery bags, swoops down and steals them, then shares the goodies with his pack after he picks out the good stuff.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Writers Strike - Survivor Semi-Final

Well, our gang of obsessive compulsive cleaners hasn't fared very well in the past week. We lost one when Loki yacked up on the carpet, licked it back up, then horked it out on another spot of the carpet. This caused Louise of Valparaiso, IN to totally lose it, and run screaming from the house. John of San Angelo, TX found a piece of fur in his underwear and had to be taken to the emergency room. We hope you feel better John.

Tonight's episode is the Semi-Final, where we hope someone wins, but the contestants aren't looking very healthy.

Tonight's challenge:

Husky Fur Condiment!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Writers Strike - Life

A courageous and dedicated police dog fights crime and keeps people safe.

Then one day, she is framed for murder, found guilty and sent to prison for a long time.

Her lawyer gets a new trial and proves that she is innocent of the crime and wins a gazillion bucks in a lawsuit.

Taking her money (after lawyers fees, expenses, etc.) Meeshka rejoins the force and tries to find the real killers to redeem her good name.
Well, ok, she could care less about her name now that she's filthy rich.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

That Wacky Human Woman


DSC02694.JPG
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema
The human woman was just sitting around and someone poked her in the eye with an icepick. Yes, selfish-grain time. She refuses to get out of bed to post a new tv show that I wrote, so here's a picture of me in my fluffy fineness.

Think of it as a pre-empted show for the George Foreman Grill or something.

Meeshka
(all I want for Christmas is a set of opposable thumbs... and those cool ginzu knives)

Monday, November 26, 2007

A Woo for a lost one


I was saddened to learn that Ozzy and Romeo lost their human man recently.

All of us here are going to give a woo to tell those already across the Rainbow Bridge to welcome him, play with him, and keep him company until his loved ones can join him.

Please woo with us, and go to Ozzy and Romeo’s blog to let them know that he’s waiting for them over there, and that he’s fine.

Meeshka

Writers Strike - The Big Bang Theory

Two total geeks know computers, but don't know women. Their new, hot neighbor shows them the way to a woman's heart isn't through a USB port.

OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? You want me to write that crap? Who watches that lame show anyway, with its stupid fake laugh track and bad scripts.

Fine, maybe this will get people to tune into that stupid show before it gets cancelled, and next week if its still on the air, I'll see if Henry Winkler will come out of retirement, don his Fonzi jacket and jump a shark tank:

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Writers Strike - Battlestar Galactica

Having just fought off the evil Cylon warriors in a fierce battle, the brave Shmoobuck returns to the Galactica to curl up on a nice cool air vent.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part 5)

As the world continues to ride to the bad place in a handbasket thanks to the stupid humans, the rest of the AO4 continues their efforts to thwart that stupidity and bring the earth under the complete control of Huskies!

Zim uses his art of concentration to assume a total inner peace and calm. His keen powers of observation allow him to keep tabs on all humans from his Zen post on high, mesmerizing all humans and lulling them into a trance so that other huskies can go through their pockets and purses and steal the candies they hide there... and other things that will help them take over the world, but those candies are great, even the ones that have been at the bottom of a bag for years and the wrapper is all stuck to it and there's usually bits of strange stuff stuck to it, that's very tasty stuff.

Once the humans are entranced, Dave takes over by filling every void there is in the house. Able to grow and ooze into every open space available, Dave can easily take over the size of a small continent, pushing the humans into the ocean, or simply squishing them against walls. No space is too small for Dave to ooze into.

Does your pup have super powers and wants to star in an episode of Heroes? E-mail your picture and a short description of your pup's super powers and maybe they'll end up in the next installment of Heroes! E-mail your submissions to: Meeshkaworld@gmail.com

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part 4)

Despite the hard work of Holly, Indy, and the Turbo gang, stupid humans still run amok. Sensing amokness, the AO4 jumps into action and places their best mind molding members on full alert to try to control the humans and bend them to the husky way.

Amber, master of "calming signals" and communication, tries to convince her doubting humans that she can indeed predict snow better than the high paid slicky boy weathermen, but they continue to believe in the tv. Fed up she uses full calming signal forces to make them eat on the floor while she dines at the table.








Stormy then tries her hand at human mind melding. As the Supreme Commander of the AO4, she's trained her forces to work together to thwart the humans and make them do her bidding... unfortunately humans truly are stupid and sometimes they don't interpret her wishes very well.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Writers Strike -


We interrupt tonight’s Heroes episode to bring you this very special HULA member! Part 4 of Heroes will be seen tomorrow during its regular broadcast time.

And now.....

Franki

This past week was another adventure in husky haywire-happenstances.  Our cupboards were bare except for some canned items which seemed safe enough.  One night we came home from work to find the kitchen floor covered in oil and the remains of a tin of smoked oysters lying inside Miss Franki's hut.  Along with the empty tin of oysters was a single serving container of Campbell's Tomato Soup at Hand, also empty.  Our little friend had helped herself to a snack of oysters and tomato soup.  I neglected to take a photo of that night's escapades but I have collected all of the images necessary for application to the Husky United Liberation Army.

Proudly, I present Franki's accomplishments:

1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior

Given the chance Franki likes to have a great dig on the sofa or the bed when the humans are busy cooking in the kitchen and have forgotten to close the doors to the tv room and the bedroom:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039891886/
Several sheets have been shredded and the human has had to use her sewing skills to repair the sheets, all of which were purchased last year from LL Bean:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039987196/

2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason

There is no picture to back up this event because the human was too freaked out to take a photo.  One night, while the human repaired torn sheets on the sewing machine,  Franki sampled different items from the recycling box and brought many of them into the sewing room to show them off to the human.  Only the sounds of the sewing machine running and plastic being crunched could be heard in the basement.  At one point,  the human heard a different noise which sounded like something falling but she did not take much notice. More crunching sounds were heard and then Miss Franki came into the sewing room to visit with the human and show off her beautifully painted blue tongue.   The human shrieked and dashed out into the basement.  She quickly discovered a tube of blue "Gouache" paint shredded to bits on the basement floor.  The human ran to the washroom and grabbed a facecloth to clean the blue paint from Franki's tongue.  The next step was to look at the ingredients of the "Gouache" which she had bought at a garage sale.  There was nothing on the tube or the box.  Noting that the product was made in France, she dashed up the stairs to Google "Gouache".  Not enough information was available, so the decision was made to drive to the Emergency Animal Clinic because it was 11:30pm on a Sunday evening.  During the human's panic, Miss Franki was totally fine and there was nothing to indicate that any noxious substance had been ingested.  The clinic was very busy and, thankfully,  the receptionist checked with the vet immediately.  The vet was not completely sure and suggested that the human call the Poison Control Centre from the office phone.   The human reached Poison Control in seconds and was very impressed with the nurse at the Centre who was extremely helpful as she searched every database and came up with a "not to worry" solution.  The nurse mentioned that phoning them first would have been the best approach.   Franki and the human woman decided to go for a long walk on the beach after the mental anguish had dissipated.

3. Destroy Something

Pillow with insides out:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039116001/
Milkbone box ready for recycling:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039891890/
Pièce de résistance:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/1899554553/

4. Human behavior modification

The humans accept that this is "their" living room:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039138533/
The humans now enjoy sitting on this loveseat:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039138529/

5. Humans dress you up
What the heck is the deal with humans dressing us dogs up?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/1979316727/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/1979316721/

6. Love of Kleenex

From the lowly, discarded clump of used, damp kleenex on the city streets to a pristine roll of toilet paper in its protective enclosure, all are prime targets for the husky:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elfrieda/2039138537/

Sorry there are no photos of the street clumps available.

Siberianly,

Franki and Connie

Franki continues to amaze and bewilder her humans, and I admire her ability to manipulate them in such ways that they literally bend over backwards to accommodate her huskiness. Congratulations Franki, well deserved - Meeshka

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part 3)

When we last visited our Heroes, they were valiantly trying to save the world from the stupidity of humanity. Unfortunately, humanity is so stupid that more Heroes are needed.

Holly, the malgal, found it necessary to get off her cushy pillow and user her special power of growing bigger and fluffier, and squishing the stupid humans that don't listen to what she woos. Woe be those that don't do what she demands, for they will be sat upon and she'll even steal their hats just to show them who is boss.

If she lets the human up before they suffocate under her massive fluff, they are forever covered with the fur of shame, and she keeps their hats.








Indy has a special power of communication. He has perfected the human language enough to say "I love you", and "Hello", apparently two words that leave humans helpless and weak. Unable to control themselves, they move closer to the wise english speaking dog to hear what other words of wisdom he may utter... only to be told secrets that demoralize and humiliate them into feeding him diet-approved treats and bowing to his every whim. They leave his presence a mere shell of a human, unable to continue on once they've heard the truth, lose their jobs and are forced to sit on the floor while credit card companies repossess their belongings.

In our next episode... can the AO4 stop the stupid humans?

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part 2)

When the call for urgent action to save the earth from the humans comes out, the rest of the Turbo pack awaken from their well deserved naps to pitch in. Using their awesome super powers, they try to stop humans from being stupid (yes, a monumental task, but something that must be done).

Fargo, dressed nattily in his super hero outfit, uses his amazing ability to remove human underwear to keep the humans from doing stupid things. After all, for some reason most humans require underclothing in order to do anything. Not only do they require underclothing, but it must also be CLEAN underclothing. Everyhusky has probably observed their humans running around frantically when they run out of clean underthings, therefore everyhusky must follow Fargo's special powers and do what they can to either steal clean underclothing, or at the very least chew it up.

To keep humans from doing anything stupid, Meep turns on his amazingly slick coat that keeps any human from grabbing him during his superhero tasks, and also creates a slippery surface wherever he stands that makes humans fall down. Just being near him makes people fall down and we all know its impossible for a human to be stupid when they have multiple compound fractures from falling down.



When it comes to powers of invisibility, Niki is the master. Able to blend into any background, hide from humans in plain site, and avoid being photographed, Niki can sneak into any situation and do what needs to be done. Whether its stealing top secret plans to livergreat, or stealing a sandwich, Niki can do it all, right under the very noses of the humans that think rule the world. Stupid humans, they'll never learn until they starve to death.




Once the arch nemesis of all fur-bearing creatures, the D. Animal use to suck up the fluffiness, goodies, and dirt of all huskies and laugh. This all changed when the humans blamed D. Animal and its kind for wasting precious energy through its use of electricity. Angry, D. Animal grew to gargantuan proportions and began working with the huskies to stop humans from being stupid. It now drives through city streets and sucks up humans, disposing of them at the sewage treatment facilities. Until its work is done, D. Animal will continue sucking up stupid humans until its ultimate goal is met: sucking up Al Gore. Unfortunately even with its gargantuan size, D. Animals intake manifold is too small to suck up Al Gore's enormous head.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part 1)

When the humans totally botch up the earth, the dogs stood by... until the humans began to blame cow flatulence and an over abundance of fur for global warming... that was the last straw!

Using their natural super powers (hidden because napping and being waited on hand and foot was much more fun), the dogs begin to straighten out the earth and the humans.





Totally sick of the whole mess, Super Turbo uses his powers of levitation and flight to spot stupid humans, swooping down to smack them in the heads and knock some sense into them. If that doesn't work... well, it gets ugly.












When humans don't listen like they should, Roo uses the power of staring to get anything she wants... including the keys to the nuclear arsenal, or a bowl of soup















Lex may be stupid, but when he gets angry, it snows. Why? Who knows, but it does, and watch out when he gets really mad!


Stay tuned for part 2 of Heroes

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Writers Strike - Other shows


I’m taking a day off because of writer’s paw and I wanted to fill you in on some “inside scoop” on the tv show writing biz.

I’ve had some requests to write some “American Gladiator” type shows for the viewing masses, but I wanted to let everyone in on a little secret. Shhh, don’t tell the humans.

American Gladiators is already written by a dog. I’m glad that his ruse isn’t obvious, I would think that a show that highlights humans beating the crap out of each other would obviously be written by a dog. What better revenge for anger than pitting puny little humans against large hulking muscular humans armed with sticks? Chuck is a very angry Labradoodle that is very successful in the writing business. He’s penned not only American Gladiator, but he’s also the creative genius behind “Viva La Bam” showing humans at their basic primeval form.

Any time you have a program that shows humans making utter and complete fools of themselves, or hurting themselves, its written by a dog (and I admit, there are a few very angry cats out there too that write).

Those blooper shows... the idea of a poodle named Mr. Dribbles.

“I want to look like a high school cheerleader again”... the exercises are written by Dutchie a former racing greyhound seeking revenge for all of those years of chasing a fake rabbit around a track and never being able to catch and eat it.

I do have to give credit for one of the more dangerous shows, that program where humans climb up Mt. Everest and loose parts of their hands. That was actually written by a goat named Lizziebelle that lives up there and got mad at the humans for trying to climb up there and leaving all of their garbage and poo on her pristine mountain. Unfortunately, Lizziebelle’s plan backfired when she was caught by some climbers and eaten.

See, writing is dangerous.

Please be patient while I write the most talked about show in decades. Of course it hasn’t been written correctly all these seasons, but that’s about to change when my version comes out, and you won’t be disappointed.

Meeshka

Writers Strike - Medium

Seeing dead people has been done to death (get it), solving crimes and righting wrongs is so blase, so boring... and then came Meeshka the Medium:


Sunday, November 11, 2007

Writers Strike - The Human Whisperer

Meeshka’s keen ability to communicate with and influence humans has made her a much-sought after expert in human rehabilitation. Her “Power of the Claw” method can change almost any problem human into a pleasant lemming.


Saturday, November 10, 2007

Writers Strike - Desperate Housedogs

In a tiny little suburban town, on a street called Woofsteria Lane, the picture perfect lives of the resident dogs is not what it seems.

Will Meeshka ever get fed?
Will Loki figure out Sam peed in his crate?

Friday, November 09, 2007

Writers Strike - Kitchen Nightmares

Take a pompous know-it-all chef and send him to struggling restaurants to berate and ridicule the resident chef and you have: Kitchen Nightmares.

Pffft, yeah, right. We need to add a pinch of fluff into that script

Now that's a nightmare... for the chef.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Writers Strike - Dealing with the Talent

My latest script was a breeze to write, but now I'm having trouble with the "talent" on the show. I can see why the writers are on strike. After all, we spend these hard hours and hours (ok, this script only took me 15 minutes) writing this award winning content and all the stars have to do is read it.
Meeshka
(You'd think he'd be happy I cast him after all that bragging. Ok, nobody would return my call, they were all in rehab, but still)

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Writers Strike - Bones

A saucy and smart forensic archaeologist and hunky FBI agent team up to solve murders when the only evidence left is a bag of bones.... oh puhleeze.

Here's my version:
Meeshka
(Why are they all dressed up in the woods? As Turbo would say: Humans are stupid)

Monday, November 05, 2007

Writers Strike

The human woman says that writers are on strike and the world will come to a screeching halt because there will be nothing on tv except re-runs.

OHMYGAWD WHAT WILL THE HUMANS DO????

I guess we can't expect them to do something crazy like... oh... maybe spend time playing with us instead of sitting in front of that stupid box. Nah, that's just too zany.

So, I see this as the perfect opportunity for me to break into my writing career. What better way to subliminally spread the HULA creed than by having huskies writing tv shows!

Hey, they don't need to know that I'm a husky, I'll just have the human woman drop off my script ideas and they'll just assume that she's the brains behind these award winning tv shows.

Ok, so my first concept is very simple, and may sound familiar, but trust me, it'll be a big hit.

You take a bunch of very clean freak people and put them in a house with a husky. The last person to not go insane is the winner. I'm going to call it:

Survivor - Husky House!

Meeshka
(dusting off the shelf that will hold my Emmy awards)