Saturday, October 04, 2008
A Fair and Balanced Dog
You should be aware that Sam (spineless bionic hip puppy) leans to the left.
Oh, not his political views, his left front leg is shorter than the other, so he leans to the left.
Despite this deformity, the humans were growing concerned that he spends most of his time laying on the bed watching CNN Headline news, so they're now changing the channel to Fox News once in a while, just to make sure he's getting the news from various sources. If he leans any more left, they're afraid that he'll fall over, and they think that if he gets news from "both sides" that maybe he'll be cured and not lean.
So, here is a report on the latest news from Sam:
Hey everyone! I'm honored that Meeshka allowed me to use some of her blog space to report the news to you. I love the news. I especially love CNN, but that's only because I have the hots for Erica Hill, who isn't as cute as my Frankie Woo but I pretend that Ms. Hill is my Frankie Woo and I daydream, but the humans think I just like the news. Ok, I do like the news, so here's an update on what's been happening on the news from what I understand:
1.) The leaders of the U.S. are insane and pretty soon everyone will get free cheese because they won't be able to buy their own food. I like cheese. I'm all for this free cheese thing. It would be even better if they gave free livergreat and cheese, maybe some bacon too.
2.) O.J. Simpson is guilty. Um... riiight. Next thing you're going to tell me is that Clay Aiken is gay. WHAT? Well, I never saw that coming either.
3.) One guy promises this, another promises that, the first guy says the second guy is wrong, the second guy says the first one is wrong... vote Turbo/Khyra 2008... just so those two guys will shut up so I can watch Erica Hill.
4.) Humans want a woman president... but apparently not THAT woman.
5.) No, I linked that one correctly... what? He's a guy? Oh, sorry.
6.) An American Carol movie sucks, but the Bill Maher's slam on religion is brilliant... I have no idea why humans think the media is biased. Frankly, neither of them have Erica Hill or my Frankie Woo, so they both suck.
7.) The networks have cancelled plans to have DNN: Dogs News Network, apparently there was some problems with the Cat Union wanting equal time, but who wants to watch cats licking their butts.
I think that's about all of the news worth reporting today.
Sammy the Amazing