Saturday, January 31, 2009

Things I don't find remotely funny

I don’t think its funny when you wait for me to get all the way to the back of the yard before announcing “food food” (why can’t you just say “dinner” or “come and get it” or “get your feed bag on”, something sensible, and not the double word stupid talk), just so you can watch me skitter across the icy yard and then slide on my side, hitting the house in my fervor to get something to eat.

I don’t think “got your feet” is funny at all, and one of these days I will have your nose... in my mouth. You can just put it back on once I’m done digesting it.

I don’t think that using me for a pillow is funny, its my spot on the bed, I am using your head as a pillow, no fair getting up and using me for a pillow, its not cute.

I don’t think that standing right at the door and not letting me in so you can hear my cute screams of agony demanding to be let back in is funny. Open the stupid door so I can turn around and demand back out again in 5 minutes.

I don’t think its funny, nor do I want to see the huge tuft of my fluff that you’ve plucked off of my butt, so why do you insist on showing it to me?

Of course I want food, and my dancing around in starvation is not funny at all, so stop asking me if I want food and just feed me.

I don’t think that my sitting on your chest so you can’t breathe is funny, I’m doing it for a reason and you really should, after all these years, figure it out and stop laughing and saying that its cute (ok, its a bit funny to me when you start wheezing, but seriously, get out of bed and give me a treat before you pass out).

19 comments:

Pamela, Kira and Scampi said...

I agree completely, making me dance for food, how annoying, making me do sits and downs for a cookie, also annoying, I could go on and on, but you said it girlfriend!
Kira, The Florida Siberian

Samantha: said...

Oh I totally agree, agree, agree. I have to do obedience moves "just so" for cookies and if I'm crooked sometimes, I hear a bit of a giggle here, a giggle there - you know the drill. Oh yeah, it's humiliating, that's what! Thanks for the brutally honest post - love your blog!
Licks,
Sammie

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

You akhtually wait five minutes?


Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra The Pawsylvania Siberian

PeeEssWoo: Great rant...AGAIN!

Angus Mhor said...

Tell'em, Meeshka!

Casper and pals said...

Meeshka you really are so funny!

Eduardo said...

You should be a politician, your rants are great!
Hugs & Snugs
Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

Ozzie the OZmonster said...

I learn more and more from every post. Today, I will do nothing they want and will demand cookies and kibble regardless.

Meesh, you rule!

Cyber-sibes said...

Just wait till woo turn the tables on them when woo rule the world-- We'll see if they think its funny when they're on the receiving end!

Woos & a-roos,
Star & Jack

Randi Lyn A. said...

WOO Meeshka. Why are humans so stupid?

When my huMom tried to cut back on my food, I ate my food, stole Kayla's food, then horka'd it all on the carpet in a huge, steaming pile. That'll teach her not to mess with me!!

WOOOO, Maebe

Janet--Yuri and Sheba's HuMom said...

I swear, it's a compulsion -- we simply HAVE to do it. Yuri and Sheba don't want to see the tufts off their butts, either, but sorry, we're going to keep showing them to you!

Tracey and Huffle said...

It sounds like the human woman has forgotten every bit of training you've ever given her! Might be time to take it back to NILIF, I think.

Huffle Mawson

Mason Dixie said...

Those are all very valid not funny points. Seriously. =)

The OP Pack said...

"I don't think" she can hear woo.

Woos, the OP Pack

Ms.F. said...

This is my 1st visit to your blog, but I think I've found my soulmate! I'll definitely be back.

My parents do all these annoying things too....don't even get me started on how often they ask me if I want my food, before they give it to me! I wish I could make them watch me eat a nice juicy steak & then ask them a hundred times if they wanted their kibble!

Lola

P.S - I hope u can visit my mom n me at our blog:
http://fatiguedbutfabulousforever.blogspot.com/search/label/Lola

Biloxi and Siber-sibs said...

HaRooooo Meeshka,
I can'ts believe your Maw makes you wait by da door. As soon as my Maw sees us der, she lets us in. She don't want us ta has frosty paws. We has to do dem stupid tricks too for cookies. But Maw needs me to learn. She might make me a therapy dog.

Happy Soupy bowl Sunday!
Biloxi

Dakota said...

It's like the humans don't have anything to do other than irritate the crap out of us..... they need a life.

-The Mullin Clan's Mommy- said...

We totally agrees wif you, Queen Meeshka, on all of those points!!

-da boyz, Cosmos & Juneau-

The Thundering Herd said...

We don't think it is funny that meals do not come at a set time every day. They feed us when "they get around to it". Abuse, we tell you.

Mango said...

I am shocked, SHOCKED at the horrible treatment you receive. Is it possibly a conspiracy of peoples? I, too, am subjected to the stupid looks through the door when I howl to come inside.

Oh, and that whole, using you as a pillow. NO! Bad people. I wish I could save you but things aren't much better here.

Slobbers,
Mango