If your house is like my house (I'm guessing its probably less hairy, dirty, and smells better because my human woman is lazy), then you eat before the humans.
Yes, I've read and heard all of those dog "trainer" types that think that humans should eat before dogs because that shows us dogs who is boss and that humans are more intelligent than we are. Regardless of when they feed us, have they not yet figured out that we lay around and do nothing while they wait on us hand and foot... yeah, who is the more intelligent species?
Anyhoo, I digress... in my house we eat first (damn straight), and then the human woman fixes the human food, which always requires cooking and stirring and ingredients that only sometimes come out of a can, and actual cooking on the stove.
Once again, this is where we use our canine skills of logic and reasoning to determine that if we are sprawled into a big fluffy obstacle course, the chances of food spilling are greater. The chances of human woman dumping boiling pot of water on herself, dancing wildly and making a high pitched hooting noise are also great, so there you have dinner and entertainment.
Below is a demonstration of the proper sprawl technique for a human cooking obstacle course. Study it. Learn it... do it and you shall be rewarded.