Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Call To Claws

I'm sure a lot of you have heard the horrendous news that a company has finally figured out how to roll that tasty toilet paper food without the cardboard roll.  While I'm particular to the actual meat of the roll, the news has hit Spineless Bionic Hip Knee pup Sam hard, as he LOVES the cardboard tube.  Because I can't stand to listen to him whine and complain about this new innovation, I'm calling all pups and kits to claws to stop this outrage. 

Humans; before you get rid of this "needless waste of paper product", I would like to remind you of all those cute videos you've shot with your pup or kit playing with the cardboard tube.  No more cute little moments of fun because your pup or kit will be taking prozac and watching Oprah because they have had their one cheap joy in life ripped from them.

No more fun crafts with your human bipedal kids anymore either.  No more cute little dog crafts with the kiddies because you selfishly wanted that last tiny, itty, bitty shred of toilet paper that got glued to the roll.  The cleanliness of your po-po is more important than spending some bonding time with your kid making cute little toilet roll crafts.  I'd like to point out to you that if you had some fur down there you wouldn't need toilet paper, but you do need it and that tiny little shred of toilet paper left on the roll certainly won't give you the deep down clean you need or save enough money to get back the quality time you would have spent with your kid who is now in therapy for neglect.

Sure, go ahead and get rid of those toilet paper rolls... ruin your relationships, traumatize your pets, and put your children into a parentless stupor while you go wipe your po-po with that newly found .0003 micrometer of glueless toilet paper.  Be that way.

Meeshka

11 comments:

Snarky said...

I will save all of my human's cardboard rolls for you guys, as I never really got into those. I'm into bigger game these days--like the tasty stuff mom has in the freezer. Hee! Hee!
Kodi

Jan's Funny Farm said...

you tell them! They're stealing our toys.

H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

I am one of those dogs who prefers the tube to the paper itself. I don't approve of rolls without the tube.

Huffle Mawson said...

Call the UN. This is an international tragedy!

Sam said...

I had these same thoughts when I heard the news!

Sam

Holly and Khady said...

Apparently there are some humans who don't have enough to do if all they can think up is to remove the roll from the TP. And, I bet they are way over paid too.

Holly

Cyber-sibes said...

We're behind woo all the way on this one, Meeshka!

jack a-boo & moo boo
(Happy Howloween!)

Ozzie the OZmonster & Zowie said...

TO THE STREETS!!! TIME TO TAKE UP PAWS AND DEMAND TUBES FOR ALL!!!!

TUBES FOR ALL!!!!!
TUBES FOR ALL!!!!!
TUBES FOR ALL!!!!!
TUBES FOR ALL!!!!!
TUBES FOR ALL!!!!!
TUBES FOR ALL!!!!!

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Mika said...

Oh no! Those bunnies at our shelter will go without a toy! Mommy always saves those paper towel and toilet paper rolls and donates them to the local shelter for the bunnies. She always tries to find another way of using stuff before it gets tossed out.
-Mika