Saturday, July 09, 2011

Poo Interupted

Woo everypup,

Its your Queen Meeshka.

Yes, I know its been a while since I blogged, but it is summer, and summer means those horrible thunderstorms, and it is July, and July means those stupid humans™ are setting off fireworks, and generally its been nerve wracking.

The human woman has purchased about a gazillion dollars in "calming" potions, lotions, gels, creams, caramels, treats, liquids, and poultices to help me through the loud noises, to no avail.  FINALLY Einstein gets a clue and ordered one of those Thundershirts off the interwebs.  Of course she did this AFTER the Independence Day weekend, and since we live in Merryland, where its required that bombs burst in air and rockets have a red glare, it was nothing but explosions, panting, clawing, and peeing.

Please note: if you want sympathy, pee on the carpet and not on the human's bed.  I'm just sayin from experience.

To top off the fun, the Mutatoe has developed a disabling fear of fireworks.  I still think he's trying to suck up and be just like me and faking it, but he'll go hide under something, or throw himself in his crate and stare in a catatonic state (and that's hard to do if you aren't a cat).  The human woman gave him some stuff called "rescue remedy", which is perfect, as he was rescued, and he could certainly use a remedy.  I'm pretty sure she gave him shot of tequila instead because he sat in one spot, stared into space and drooled, just like I've seen the Human Woman do when she's had too many chocolate martinis.


She ordered a Thundershirt for him too, and I'm sure he'll LOVE to wear it and will want to wear it all the time... because he's not right in the head.  I'm not too sure if I'm going to like it, or if it will work, but I assure you that one way or another, you'll get to hear about it, and most likely see the claw mark action photos on the Human Woman when she tries to put it on me.  I've worn a regular shirt before, and I contend that it didn't so much as calm me down, but more like embarrassed me so much that I would crawl under some place dark so nobody could see me or take pictures of me.

As you can see by the cool blog post by the Army of Four, not only did the bitch take a picture of me, but she combed me, AND make a stinking card out of my misery (for which I have yet to see any money from).

Oblivious Sam
The Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee Puppy Sam is totally oblivious to the fireworks and storms of course.  He also loves to go out and watch them, and will stand with his head up during a thunderstorm.  Why I am surrounded by such strange huskies?











So, in the meantime, I'm just hanging out inside with the suck up Mutatoe because every once in a while the stupid humans™ will shoot off more fireworks (even though the holiday has been over for FIVE FREAKING DAYS NOW!) which means that every time I go out to poo... a rocket goes off and I have to skitter into the house without having done my business.  This makes me cranky.

Cranky because the Human Woman didn't bother to purchase one of my very own Wunder Thunder Cloaking Robes and also because I really have to poo.

8 comments:

Mango said...

What a most excellent post. I feel as if I am almost there with your idiot human. I think perhaps you need a thundershirt with quick velcro release (like stripper clothes) so that your mom can whip it on to you without too much four limb manipulation.

Hope you poo again at some point before the winter.

Slobbers,
Mango

Huffle Mawson said...

I have to tell you that my mum bought the t-shirt! I'm so embarrassed for you that I refuse to go near her when she is wearing it.

Charlie said...

I'm eager to hear if the Thundershirt works for you, because I think a regular t-shirt is useless!
- Charlie

Cyber-sibes said...

Fireworks still going off around here tonight, too. We don't have too much of an issue with it, except that we don't like to be outside while its going on. We just hang out with the peeps till its over. Hope your thunder shirt works out, it would be a shame if woo didn't get to poo pretty soon.

jack & moo

PS - woo DO live with a couple of strange pups!

The Army of Four said...

I hope the Thundershirt works for you. Even if it doesn't, I know you'll look awesome in it.
We find it remarkable that the same people here who complain about range noise from Ft. Riley (or as they call it "the bombing") (????) are the same ones setting off fireworks all night and all day. Y'ello!?!
Anyway, good luck, my Queen.
Play bows,
Zim

The Army of Four said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Painter Pack said...

Hello to da Queen! Yes, the loud fireworks are furry awful...not for me though because I isn't afraid! But the CoCo witch is terrified...which gives me strange pleasure.....but I do understand the importance of poo. A good poo makes for a good day!

Hope woo can poo soon! In peace, I mean.

Mya Boo Boo

Holly and Khady said...

We know exactly what you mean! Samuel is totally scared peeless by the fireworks! But he gets Xanax and it works fabulously!!!

A true miracle drug!

Holly