Saturday, May 31, 2014

Sam's Spa Days

Just to show you how unfair my life is... I told you about how I went to the vet and got poked, prodded, and my precious nails stolen from me, and how the Human Woman pays for all of this torture with my poo.

When I mentioned the horrible trip to Mutatoe and Spineless Bionic Hip, Kneee... oh good gah, too many maladies to list Sam, he told me that he LOVED going on his car rides because he gets massaged, pampered, plenty of treats, and some laser thing that was warm and felt good.

Harumpf... seriously?

But that all changed the other week when he came home from his spa to announce that he had been duped all this time!  No doubt the massage and warm laser thing was just a trick to get him comfortable for THIS!

Holy Mother of everything wrong, what is this thing I'm in???

No, there must be a horrible mistake, I'm suppose to be in the dimly lit room with soothing music getting my massage and warm laser, let me out!

OHMYGAH!  There's water!  WATER IS FILLING THE TANK EVERYONE GET OUT!

CAN'T YOU SEE THE WATER, WE'LL ALL DROWN!!

HELP!!!!

HELP ME, STOP LAUGHING THS ISN'T FUNNY!!!

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?????
Oh yeah, he was NOT happy at all when he came home and told me all about the horror.

He did everything possible except call the SPCA on the Human Woman the next week she dragged him out of the house and to the watery icky treadmill.

"It's for your well-being, it will make you stronger and happier" she kept saying.

Well... the second week he came home and pretty much threw himself in his crate and wouldn't move.  he was really creaky (angry) and sore.

The Human Woman didn't seem to bat an eyelash at it the first 2 days, but when he didn't seem any better by day 3... or 5... she got all concerned and worried and fretted and freaked out.

When Friday rolled around, she dragged poor Spineless out to the truck again, but this time he came back all happy again.  Apparently the underwater treadmill torture is too much for his gimpy body, and so he's back to getting his massages and warm laser.


Well played Sam... well played!

- Meeshka

3 comments:

Jack & Moo said...

Samwise Gimpknee, woo are wise beyond words!

Jack & Moo

Wild Dingo said...

Awe! Poor Sam! Well, as a regular water treadmill gal, Juno can sympathize but assure him, if and when he is able to handle it, it does wonders for the jodphurs. Here was her first experience with it when we started in CA:

http://www.wilddingo.com/2009/12/16/saving-junos-jodhpurs/

It didn't stop when we moved to Switzerland: http://www.wilddingo.com/2011/03/30/hydroberian/

And of course we went right back to treadmill biziness when we came home to CA: http://www.wilddingo.com/2013/04/08/booty-boot-camp/

you can see she doesn't like the massages as much as she likes the water treadmill now.

She smiles the entire time in the treadmill http://www.wilddingo.com/2013/04/19/i-work-out/

But then again, she's not a real sibe. I heard her membership was revoked.

Hope you feel better Sam! Take it from Juno, the treadmill grows on you!

Teddy Westlife said...

They call that waterboarding in the military. I'd file a complaint, it's gotta be against the Geneva Convention or something.