Meeshka's World

Squirrel Appreciation Day

2012-01-21T20:40:00.000-05:00

Don't forget to show your appreciation!

- Meeshka

The Fearless Mutatoe Strikes Again

2012-01-15T11:08:00.000-05:00

If you are one of my fans (and I don't know why you wouldn't be), then you are familiar with the many brave feats of the fearless Mutatoe.

In case you've forgotten, here's a refresher:

Mutatoe versus the stuffed lab at the vet:

Mutatoe versus hypothetical blow up sheep in Uncle Jack's guest room :

Mutatoe versus the big rat snake in the back yard:

Yesterday the area rug attacked him... so it should come as no surprise....

Sigh....

-Meeshka

Today I am 11

2012-01-06T09:10:00.003-05:00

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful....

Just wish me Happy Birthday and send some Livergreat.

- Meeshka

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T23:56:00.002-05:00

May your coming days be filled with snow, livergreat, and lots of love!

... and don't forget to claw your humans!

- Meeshka

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

From everyhusky at Meeshka World, we wish you all a very MEHrry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Twas the Night Before Christmas

2011-12-23T17:39:00.001-05:00

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
I wanted a cookie but the Human Woman is a louse.

So I clawed her until she gave me one

And I lived happily ever after.

The End

Merry Christmas everyone!

- Meeshka

A Rescuer Needs Your Help

2011-12-16T13:44:00.002-05:00

I'm stealing this from the Gimpy Dog Blog because its very important. If you can help, your Queen commands that you do so!

On 15 December 2011, a dedicated rescuer faced the biggest fear of most pet owners: a fire in her home.

The house is a total loss, but that's not important to her... she is utterly devastated that she was only able to save 2 of the 7 rescues in her care.

The Houston Pittie Pack is not only a champion of the Pittie breed, but a savior to abused, injured, and gimpy pitties that have experienced the worst in mankind.

The Dogs With Blogs community, and rescue communities are joining together to get her the help she needs to care for herself, her family, and the two survivors.

A ChipIn has been started by reliable resources to make sure she gets the basics of life for her and the pups. Once we get a mailing address you will be able to send gift cards to help her rebuild her life and her heart.

From everyone at Gimpy Dogs, our heart goes out to Houston Pittie Pack, and we mourn the loss of the pups and wish them safe passage across the Rainbow Bridge.

To learn more about those who were lost, visit The Brat Pack blog where you can also donate, or simply donate below.

Meeshka - Your Queen

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T15:14:00.001-05:00

Remember:

If the turkey is unguarded, its yours

and if you're lucky...

Happy Thanksgiving everypuppy (and kitty... and hamsterrier... and humans...)

- Meeshka

Occupy the Chair

2011-11-20T17:21:00.001-05:00

And demand potato chip redistribution

For Fargo and Kodiak

2011-11-12T16:43:00.001-05:00

Rest in Peace Malamutant Kodi and Fargo North Dogkota.

- Meeshka

Update on Sam the Service Dog

2011-10-22T17:04:00.000-04:00

I want to thank each and every one of you pups for stealing your human's money and donating toward getting Sam a little boy to care for.

Enough funds were raised, and Sam came to Alex's home to see if he was a match and if he could do the work that Alex needed him to do.

Unfortunately, Alex's condition made it very hard for him to help Sam learn the skills needed to help him. Service dogs are typically meant to bond with the person that they are helping by having their person care for them, teach them new skills and give them very detailed direction. Alex is unable to clearly communicate with Sam and the challenges were just too much for Sam to do his job.

The good news is that Sam will go back to his training and will be paired with another person to learn how to help them. The Wales family thanks Sam for trying so hard to be Alex's best friend and helper and wishes him the best on his next assignment.

Don't fret pups, your money will still go to a good cause, as the family is now looking in to finding the perfect therapy dog for Alex. Its quite clear that what Alex really needs is a friend to snuggle with him, calm him down when things get too much for him, and to have someone there for him when the times get tough and he doesn't feel good. The really good news is that the money collected will just about pay for a trained therapy dog. The family is receiving guidance from people familiar with the therapy dog programs, and will go about finding the perfect friend for Alex.

If you have experience with therapy dog training, know of a good organization that trains therapy dogs, or are a therapy dog team member, can you just give me a comment and I can get you in touch with the family so you can provide them with some help in deciding the best friend type for Alex and his condition.

We will continue to update you on the family and the new addition to their home, and how a pup can make a sick little boy feel like a part of the world again.

- Meeshka

In Memory

2011-10-05T18:50:00.002-04:00

Sad Soft Woos in memory of HULA Hoop Member Kodiak of Thundering Herd

- Meeshka & the Gimpy Gang

Help a Service Dog Get a Little Boy!

2011-09-24T16:00:00.003-04:00

As you know, we dogs come in a myriad of shapes, sizes, and duties. As a "working dog" I know the importance of having a job, and while most huskies are employed by pulling sleds, I found a cushy gig laying on air vents, looking very fluffy, and digging for grubs.

Border Collies herd sheepie things (according to Bet of North Wapiti)

Airedales collect big sticks and pine cones (according to Bogart Handsome Devil)

Labradors destroy furniture (according to Ping of Dogs with Blogs)

And Sam's job is to help young boys with disabilities do fun things and lick their faces and generally make bad things go away for them.

This is Sam:

Clockwise: Sam, Zach, Mike (Dad), Alex, and Kathy (Mom)

Sam really wants to come live with the Wales family so he can be there for Alex. Alex (according to my human woman) is a really cool kid and has this really horrible disease thing called ALD and he needs Sam's help. But, as usual, he can't come live with Alex until human money gets paid, and blah blah stupid human things (As Tubey would say). Until all of this money thing is taken care of, Sam can't do his job.

If you want to help Sam get his job, go steal money from your humans and send it to:

Mike Wales,
c/o Friends of Alex,
6424 Birchleigh Circle
Alexandria, VA 22315

Or you can click on the convenient paypal button on the upper right hand side of my blog.

Its the Human Woman's paypal, but she will make sure that one big honking check from all of us 4-footers will get to Alex's dad so he can hire Sam to do his job. Not only that, but the Human Woman will make sure that your WHOLE donation goes to Sam's employment as she will cover whatever fees Paypal rips out of your kind donation. (a note from the weasels in the legal department: this is not a tax deductible donation, just one from your heart).

So help us create a job, and let Sam do his. You'll make Sam and his human boy Alex very happy!

- Meeshka

P.S. This is not Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam. That Sam would actually require a boy to fetch his things and bring them to him on the Sleep Number Bed.

Etiquette

2011-09-18T18:45:00.000-04:00

Its essential to maintain good hygiene at all times.

After a busy day of grub mining, its best that you clean up before dinner

Its Grub Season!

2011-09-06T19:15:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the Irene rain, rain before Irene rain, and the torrential downpours we've had today, I'm officially announcing that its grub season in Merryland!

Its all nice and muddy out in the yard, perfect for grubbing! Here is some of the earlier handiwork before the torrential downpours this afternoon:

Its blurry only because the Human Woman has been doing nothing but cleaning since she's been home this week, and her arms shake uncontrollably from the exertion. If she's not flitting here with cleaning, she's flitting there with cleaning. Cleaning all the time, and yet... amazingly enough, the place still looks like it hasn't been cleaned.

Of course, this may be because we've been spending a lot of time outside, digging for grubs in the rain, then coming in to take a break and shake our mud all over. She loves when we do that!

At one point she yelled at me for being selfish. She told me that the pups in Texas didn't have grubs and they didn't have rain, and it was so dry there that the whole state is on fire and pups and kits and other animals have to flee for their lives from the icky fire.

Well, I didn't like that at all, and I stomped my delicate (yet muddy) feety feet at that. As the Queen I cannot allow one state to get so much rain when another state needs the rain, therefore I am hereby announcing that all rain needs to go to Texas right this very moment. If the rain doesn't move to Texas, then I am calling on all pups, kits, and other HULA members to do what I am doing:

I am standing out in the middle of the rain to collect all of the moisture in my incredibly fluffy fluff, and then I will walk to Texas and shake, thus putting out some fires. I have a lot of fluff, so that's a LOT of water I can douse on the flames. I want all HULA members to immediately go outside and gather as much rain water as you can and meet me in Texas.

Of course, I guess I should have told the Human Woman what my plan was, as she's not very happy at my water collecting mission at the moment, so I may be a bit late to Texas.

By the way, Human Woman friend Laura... its MEESHKA... I looked you up, you better be glad Misery isn't on the way to Texas... harumpf.

Laborless Day

2011-09-05T16:07:00.000-04:00

Yawn everybody! Its apparently "Labor Day" for the humans, which means for the past few days, the Human Woman has been laboring. She's been like a total freak cleaning the house with garbage bags. We feel it has something to do with the disappearance of the Human Man, who the Human Woman claims she took to the airport... but we're beginning to wonder if he isn't really stuffed in one of those contractor bags. We're waiting for the tell-tale odor of good stinky roll in it smell.

We've been very helpful though

As some of you have remembered... its usually the time that Uncle Jack comes to visit, which means:

Horrible catastrophe (natural and man-caused)
The unexpected death of a celebrity

This year, the Human Man went to visit Uncle Jack... leaving us here alone with the psychotic Human Woman and her contractor bags of doom. This doesn't mean that there won't be a horrible catastrophe, or an unexpected death of a celebrity, because the rule is: if more than one of the Human Man's family is located in the same area at one time, chaos and wackiness ensues. It'll be a triple whammy on Thursday, so you have until then to get in your ghoul pool guesses:

Horrible catastrophe
Celebrity death

Just comment on the blog with your guesses and we'll see who wins.

Just as a hint:

I'm just sayin...

- Meeshka

How I Weathered Irene

2011-08-28T16:15:00.003-04:00

Get it... weathered... as in Tropical Storm... fine, shut up!

Don't know what the big deal was.

Meeshka

The Thundershirt

2011-08-02T19:10:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, the Human Woman finally went and purchased 2 thundershirts lately. She only "needed" one for me, but since the Mutatoe has to do everything like me, she had to buy him one so he wouldn't feel left out and cry like a girly dog when he didn't have a pretty dress to wear... he's so embarrassing.

So... in review:

I don't like storms or fireworks.
I pee in the house when it thunders or loud fireworks goes off (my little way of saying "screw you loud noises",
and then I pant and pace and claw the Human Woman bloody.

Its fun. She doesn't think so. She has no sense of humor and really REALLY thin skin that bleeds a LOT.

Anyhoo, she heard all of these wonderful things about the Thundershirt™ and watched the videos all slack jawed and amazed, and immediately ordered 2 and had them shipped jiffy quick because we had a lot of storms and she was low of plasma.

Meanwhile we had some doozy storms and chaos, mayhem and lots of clawing. When she wasn't being clawed, she was hitting the refresh button on the tracking number for the package.

FINALLY the Thundershirts arrived and... no storms. Nothing. Weeks went by, and no storms.

Frankly, I was fine with that and was satisfied that the Thundershirt did its work by warding off all of the evil storms in the world. Job well done... bravo.

Then last night...

The humans had just settled into bed early (because they're getting old and senile) and we pups had done our usual bed rearranging and space shifting and I was laying on my cold air vent when...

boooom

I knew it was thunder because the humans were whispering and turned the tv up. They try to fool me into believing its a jet, or loud car, or that vroomy motorcycle thing, but

BOOOOOM

Yep, no doubt about it, it was thunder, so I jumped on the bed and began clawing and panting, as usual.

That's when the Human Woman pulled out the Thundershirt, and I made a dash for my life. No way was I wearing that thing again. She put it on me when it first arrived and I humored her, let her take a picture of me, post it on Facebook (where she CLAIMS she has friends) and bragged about how easy it was to put on.

She chased me with that thing into the kitchen, I ran around the kitchen table, she followed. We ran around the kitchen table about 10 times with me in the lead, just out of her reach. She tried the soothing screechy voice thing, but I wasn't fooled. She grabbed a handful of those very tasty calming caramel things that she got from the pet store to bribe me with. They are very tasty, but she can only give me 3 of them (per the label) and frankly I think I should get about... the whole bag... very tasty. After the 15th circle around the table, she gave up all pretenses and just started cursing and using the "when I get ahold of you" voice, and I finally dashed into the living room and was going to hop into my crate (which is home free and they can't touch us), but the bitch had closed and locked the doors! She's evil.

I dashed into the corner hoping to throw her off, but she followed and trapped me, and then there was no escaping it until she dropped the caramels by mistake and then it was GAME ON!

She's right... it does calm and soothe me during storms. I had to lay down from exhaustion after all of that running and then clawing her while she was trapped.

-Meeshka

HURRY UP!

2011-07-30T17:00:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure I've already told you (a zillion times) how slow my Human Woman is. She dawdles to the door when I have to pee, she dawdles opening the door up for me when I want to come inside, and most importantly, she DAWDLES when she feeds us!

First she'll yell out the annoying "Who wants food-food?" in that high pitched meant to be cute and adorable but its very painful to our sensitive ears double speak crap. She gets us all worked up and hungry, and then she sloooooowly walks upstairs. Sometimes she gets lost or distracted by something pretty and starts doing something else. Meanwhile we're drooling in our EMPTY food bowls.

Then she'll manage to find her way upstairs and into the kitchen, where she may open the fridge and find the canned food, then sloooowly walks to the counter to place the dog food can. Then she'll sloooowly gather the food bowls, perhaps remembering to do something in the middle of getting the food bowls and wandering off. Meanwhile we're screaming at her to hurry up, and Mutatoe is gnawing on the water bowl.

Finally she'll get the bowls on the counter and open up the sacred food bin. She has a scoop she uses to measure out our meager portion and she does it ONE FREAKIN SCOOP AT A TIME!!! By now the spineless bionic hip/knee pup is springing in and out of the kitchen.

I finally had enough of this and took matters into my own hands.

Yeah, don't mind me, I'll just get it myself, thanks though.

- Meeshka

HULA Corporate Sponsor

2011-07-24T18:42:00.002-04:00

The Human Woman and man went out to breakfast (without us) the other day and much to her shock, the Human Woman found that the Husky United Liberation Army (HULA) now has a corporate sponsor: Dennys

Its subliminal advertising, but its a start... pretty soon we shall take over the world... one pancake at a time.

mmmmm pancakes

- Meeshka

Poo Interupted

2011-07-09T14:52:00.001-04:00

Woo everypup,

Its your Queen Meeshka.

Yes, I know its been a while since I blogged, but it is summer, and summer means those horrible thunderstorms, and it is July, and July means those stupid humans™ are setting off fireworks, and generally its been nerve wracking.

The human woman has purchased about a gazillion dollars in "calming" potions, lotions, gels, creams, caramels, treats, liquids, and poultices to help me through the loud noises, to no avail. FINALLY Einstein gets a clue and ordered one of those Thundershirts off the interwebs. Of course she did this AFTER the Independence Day weekend, and since we live in Merryland, where its required that bombs burst in air and rockets have a red glare, it was nothing but explosions, panting, clawing, and peeing.

Please note: if you want sympathy, pee on the carpet and not on the human's bed. I'm just sayin from experience.

To top off the fun, the Mutatoe has developed a disabling fear of fireworks. I still think he's trying to suck up and be just like me and faking it, but he'll go hide under something, or throw himself in his crate and stare in a catatonic state (and that's hard to do if you aren't a cat). The human woman gave him some stuff called "rescue remedy", which is perfect, as he was rescued, and he could certainly use a remedy. I'm pretty sure she gave him shot of tequila instead because he sat in one spot, stared into space and drooled, just like I've seen the Human Woman do when she's had too many chocolate martinis.

She ordered a Thundershirt for him too, and I'm sure he'll LOVE to wear it and will want to wear it all the time... because he's not right in the head. I'm not too sure if I'm going to like it, or if it will work, but I assure you that one way or another, you'll get to hear about it, and most likely see the claw mark action photos on the Human Woman when she tries to put it on me. I've worn a regular shirt before, and I contend that it didn't so much as calm me down, but more like embarrassed me so much that I would crawl under some place dark so nobody could see me or take pictures of me.

As you can see by the cool blog post by the Army of Four, not only did the bitch take a picture of me, but she combed me, AND make a stinking card out of my misery (for which I have yet to see any money from).

Oblivious Sam

The Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee Puppy Sam is totally oblivious to the fireworks and storms of course. He also loves to go out and watch them, and will stand with his head up during a thunderstorm. Why I am surrounded by such strange huskies?

So, in the meantime, I'm just hanging out inside with the suck up Mutatoe because every once in a while the stupid humans™ will shoot off more fireworks (even though the holiday has been over for FIVE FREAKING DAYS NOW!) which means that every time I go out to poo... a rocket goes off and I have to skitter into the house without having done my business. This makes me cranky.

Cranky because the Human Woman didn't bother to purchase one of my very own Wunder Thunder Cloaking Robes and also because I really have to poo.

A Call To Paws Again

2011-06-10T14:02:00.000-04:00

Just when we thought we had the radical squirrels under control, another faction emerges to do destruction upon the the very thing we rely on in these hot temperatures... cold air vents!

Yes, the radical squirrel terrorists are back at it again, their latest attack was upon a power station, as reported here in this news article.

The humans think they are cute and adorable and go absolutely whack job when one of these fuzzy tailed rats takes a peanut from their hand, but you and I know their true mission... Squirrelagedon!

Take action now, and obliterate the squirrels from your yard as fast as possible... before they knock out your cool air vent!.

- Meeshka

Orders From the Queen

2011-06-05T10:34:00.000-04:00

Now go do my bidding!

-Meeshka

Show Her You Care

2011-05-08T12:39:00.002-04:00

On this Mother's Day, make sure you pay a lot of attention to your Human Woman

My World Events

2011-05-06T13:24:00.000-04:00

Hello all! Its been a very busy time here in Meeshka World.

I'm sure you've all heard in the news about a certain President taking credit for the elimination of a rather pesky person. Pffft. Of course that's all a silly lie. We all know that humans are incapable of doing anything around here without the help of HULA.

All I had to do was wave one of my delicate little feety feet and the matter was taken care of by my loyal HULA Hoop members. About the only thing they did get right was the name of the reactionary force that took care of the matter: Seal Team 6. They are making the team to be all secrety secret and go on and on about how they can't show their faces because they were so ultra mega mega top secrety secret and junk... but the real reason is because the humans are too ashamed to admit that they can't do anything right, and its the animal world that has to fix everything for them.

So, here is your first look at Seal Team 6:

Sergeant Bubbles is currently appearing undercover at Sea World in Orlando. Check out his show, he actually juggles three beach balls!

How To Drive The Human Woman Insane #9587

2011-04-30T16:54:00.000-04:00

First, you find a spot to dig right next to the gate:

Then, when the Human Woman is laying paving stones down in your new dig spot, wash your delicate feety feet off in the water bowl and saunter throughout the house.

Its a win-win.

- Meeshka

Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T20:59:00.000-04:00

I was going to go to the royal wedding...

... but the humans turned on the air vent.

-Meeshka

The Coffee Answer

2011-04-16T17:25:00.000-04:00

Dear Pups,

I wanted to thank all of you that suggested adding caffeine to the Human Woman's daily medicinal routine to get her a bit more mobile... unfortunately I neglected to add this picture of what the Human Woman looks like most of her waking day:

I'm thinking nothing short of electro-shock therapy will get her to move any faster, and although clawing is effective... I can only claw so much and apparently she slows down even more from the blood loss.

Thanks for the tip though.

- Meeshka

The Wonders of Modern Medicine

2011-04-15T21:15:00.000-04:00

The other day, Zim contacted me because his human woman was negligent in her walking duties.

It seems that unlike my human woman, Zim and Dave get twice daily walks and get to go see things all the time. They actually have an ocean, and a giant's castle, and they get close up sniffs of kitties and things.

Me... well, this is what I see every day:

Yeah... how... exciting.

Today we got to do this:

This is us... snoopervising the workmen at the crappy foreclosed house next door. We can't play with them, or even sufficiently make sure they are doing a good job (and from the looks of it on our deck vantage point... they aren't)... but I digress.

Zim was upset because his human woman was unable to walk them because of the pollen and some stupid fires that were intentionally set to keep stupid cedar trees from taking over the prairie (whatever the prairie is), and as Turbo says... just stupid.

So I mentioned the myriad of pharmaceuticals my human woman dumps into her body on an average day, and suggested that their human woman go buy some of them. For instance, this is what my human woman looks like without Zyrtec:

She's like a living zombie shuffling around. We can barely get her to feed us when she's in a pollen stupor, and I won't even go into the gacking she makes from the post nasal drip stuff... she's disgusting actually, except for the tasty kleenex she leaves around.

But after popping some allergy pills, she's the picture of vibrancy and pep:

um... ok, she's a living zombie drinking coffee... and this is why we never get out of the yard, but apparently it worked for Zim and Dave, and now they are back to getting their walks again.

Us... not so much.

Meeshka

Human Woman Training

2011-04-09T16:22:00.000-04:00

Yes, its been a while since I last posted, but I've been very busy with remedial training for the Human Woman.

Training humans is a constant thing, and if you neglect their training, they do stupid things like:

Not give you a treat for doing simple things
Not feed you on time
Not pet you when you want them to, and try to pet you when you don't want them to
Put their dinner in a high place where you can't get it
Think that you are actually a guest in their house.

The Mutatoe has been making sure that the Human Woman realizes that she is allowed to sleep on the bed only because its convenient for us.

Sam is making sure that they come running for the slightest whimper or woo.

My job is to ensure adequate treat dispensing (speaking of... the stupid robin built another tweet dispenser on the deck... I can't wait), and to lower the human's expectations.

For example:

I want in. I was just in, and asked to go out. The reaction time to letting me out was too slow, therefore now I want in again, but since the humans hardly ever ask us if we want to go out, but always tell us to come in, I require a treat to come inside. The only time I get offered a treat to go outside is when the humans NEED me to go outside for some reason... therefore we refuse to go outside.

This test is to ensure that clear signals are recognized by the human and acted upon immediately (pant, pant... that's an inside joke with the humans who won't explain it to me either, but they think its funny).

Anyhoo, I go outside and then immediately want to come back inside.

If your human lets you out, then lets you right back inside... you have a good human.
If your human lets you out, then right back inside, then out, then inside, then out again... you either have a very good human, or a really stupid one.
If your human lets you out, then in, then refuses to let you out again, then pee on the carpet to demonstrate the importance of letting you out.
If your human gets tired of holding the door open while you stand there and closes the door, then you should claw at the door furiously and scream loudly to shame them and they'll open the door to keep the neighbors from calling the ASPCA.
If your human gets tired of holding the door open while you stand there, then bribes you to come, then you have them sufficiently trained.

Please ensure that your humans are adequately trained.

On another note, I want to send a woo out to Diefenbaker and the crew for their pawsome rendition of the HULA anthem. Seriously, you need to check out these vocals. I'm disappointed that they were dropped from Canine Idol early in the season, but I'm sure their recording contract will prove they have the chops (mmm pork chops) to make it in the music scene.

If you have a rendition of the HULA anthem you'd like to share, then send me the link and I'll give you a woo out.

Meeshka

Tantrum?

2011-03-14T19:39:00.000-04:00

The Human Woman posted a video of me "throwing a tantrum".

It just shows you how feeble she is, I'm clearly trying to tell her that its been a whole 2 minutes since I had a treat and she needs to get off her lazy butt, put down the iPad, stop playing Angry Birds and feed me!

By the way, for the record: the only reason I would run and tell someone that gramps has fallen in the well is if gramps is holding a treat.

I'm glad I could clear that up.

Meeshka

Someone In Fulton County Has Good Taste

2011-03-13T11:55:00.002-04:00

Every once in a while I do a Google search on myself to see who is saying what about me. Its also a good way to find potential HULA members that I'm not aware of, and also add to my list of people that need to be clawed.

Imagine my surprise when I came across this tidbit of information.

Apparently some fine individual in District 39 of Fulton County, Georgia wanted me to be their state Senator!

The evidence is right here, and yes, I realize that someone else voted for Sam... but I don't think that counts because they didn't use his full name (Spineless Bionic hip/knee puppy Sam), therefore it was probably thrown out.

So, whoever you are in District 39 of Fulton County Georgia, a big woo out to you for your support. Maybe we'll win in 2012 and as always, Livergreat for everyone!

On a personal note, I want to send a woo out to Millie of The Brat Pack. It has come to my attention that she at one time aspired to become a HULA member, and was off to a good start by consuming mass amounts of pilfered spinach... but her Human Woman started shirking her blogging responsibilities and didn't follow up with documenting her HULA qualifications. A note to the Brat Pack human woman: no excuses now, get to it, or you'll get the claw!

- Meeshka

Update - I just realized that someone also voted for Loki, but once again, since it wasn't his official name (Mutatoe), I'm sure it was thrown out as well.

Phenobarbital recall!

2011-03-12T06:46:00.000-05:00

Just a quick wooo to spread the word that there is a recall on a certain type of Phenobarbital because stupid humans put the wrong drugs in the wrong bottle.

Read the article, make sure you don't have these pills (the bottle and label will say Phenobarbital, but the pills inside may NOT be). If you even suspect you have the wrong pills, don't give the pills to your dog because acetaminophen will cause all sorts of internal damage and possibly death.

Here's the link to the article, go read it, spread the word

Phenobarbital recall

- Meeshka

New HULA Members - Sparky and Patches

2011-03-06T14:38:00.000-05:00

There are some pups who just jump right out at you and say "HULA" and Sparky did just that today with his amazing endeavors.

In just one day, Sparky has managed to encompass almost ALL of the HULA requirements, and he did so with flair!

First of all, he lives with a Human Woman named Kat... get it... like that isn't funny all by itself, but it gets better! Yes, it actually gets better!

Sometime last night, Sparky and Patches ate an entire bag of uncooked rice. Why? Who cares, its funny, and it totally freaked out their human woman, who had to call a vet and explain what had happened.

The icing on the HULA cake was this:

Yep, he killed a stuffie, and not only did he kill and shred the stuffie throughout the house, but when his Human Woman was cleaning it up... he dumped over her large caramel mocha coffee. Bravo! Way to add insult to injury, way to rub salt in the wound... BRILLIANT!!!!

I think its only fair, seeing how he's had to put up with this crap:

Not to ignore the contributions of Patches, who poses as a snuggle bug cutie pup most of the time:

He's actually a total nutcase that destroys the house if he's left alone without Sparky

Gosh, that's beautiful.

So, for all of your hard work and dedicated service to the global goal of driving humans insane... this HULA is for you!

Meeshka

Sorta Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-02T19:49:00.000-05:00

I didn't get any breakfast this morning and I'm very angry.

I'm not speaking to the human woman.

New HULA Member: Teddy

2011-02-20T14:18:00.000-05:00

Now, all of you may be wondering why a kitteh is being inducted into the HULA Hoop. Cuz I said so, that's why... I mean, because every once in a while, your Queen has such a devious plan that sometimes she can't share the news with everyone until it needs to be told.

Its time to tell the tail of Teddy.

You see, Teddy is actually a very small husky puppy disguised as a kitteh. Yep, this plot is so devious that I'm telling my whole entire world without fear that Teddy's owners will believe it! Isn't that deliciously livergreat levels of evil!!!??!!!

Teddy "showed up" at the doorstep of Huffle's house one rainy day and put on an Oscar winning performance of pathetic homeless wet kitteh escapades, that Huffle's humans were totally fooled. Huffle had been briefed beforehand and is still pretending to HATE Teddy, which is what we had planned all along. While the humans are busy with Teddy and trying to make him more appealing to Huffle, Huffle is able to go about her covert activities without the humans watching her. See just how EVIL this plan is???

Initially, Teddy was instructed to ensure that the humans would accept him into the household. Using every minute of his extensive "How To Be Like a Kitteh" instruction, Teddy did cute kitteh things like:

The cute kitteh in the basket routine. This always gets the humans, look how cute he is in the basket, isn't he adorable, how could we possibly throw him out into the cold cruel world aaaaaaawwww!

Once his humans took him to the vet (who couldn't find the ingenious zipper on the kitteh costume), and named him (his real name is "Majestic Snowgod of Powerderville" aka: Floofy), Teddy began to start his covert activities by:

Hiding in dark spaces waiting for the humans to walk by with bare feet so he could pounce on them and sink his razor sharp little costume kitteh claws into their flesh.

We did have a scary moment when Teddy was found doing this:

Yes, he's chewing on Huffle's human woman's shoes! It was a true test of whether or not his covert actions would continue, because Huffle's human woman is a known shoe hoarder (with great taste), and we thought the jig was certainly up, because what kitteh actually chews on shoes.

Well, imagine our surprise when the reaction was not to boot Teddy out into the blistering Australian heat... or downpours... or flooding... seriously, who wants to live there... but anyhoo, nope. Huffle's Human Woman simply got the camera and took a picture of Teddy... which is the ultimate moment of any husky's life and a true statement that we're fluffy and cute for a reason.

Welcome to the HULA Hoop dear Teddy.

Meeshka

New From MeeshCO

2011-02-13T13:20:00.000-05:00

A friend of the Human Woman, we'll call her "Feather", sent this link to my Human Woman and suggested that since these panties were embedded with caffeine, that they would be perfect for traffic jams, because you could just suck on your panties.

I'll pause a moment while you all throw up.

Done?

As disgusting as that sounds, it is the impetus for the next revolutionary idea straight from MeeshCO!

Yes, its LIVERGREAT PANTS!!!!!!

Why wait for the humans to give you treats when you can just walk right up to them and take a bite. No more doing stupid tricks for treats, the Livergreat Pants© will free you to go about your business and snack when you want. Made from only the finest Livergreat, the MeeshCO livergreat pants are guaranteed for freshness and tastiness no matter how long they are worn... and the stinkier the better!

Get your livergreat pants exclusively from MeeshCO, where dogs rule!

My Week in Review

2011-02-06T17:53:00.001-05:00

Lets see... I clung to the last tiny bit of snow left on the deck, using the pillow technique that Zim taught me through his "how to build a snow fort" tutorials. Zim is also suppose to send me some of his snow... but it hasn't arrived yet. I'm sure it got lost in the mail.

Then I glared at the Human Woman because all of my snow downstairs was also melting, and not only that, but it started raining and washing it away faster. This is my "Do something about this rain and make it snow" look.

I have had a few comments asking me if I sufficiently got back at the Human Woman for nearly poisoning me with Sam's pill. The answer is most definitely YES.

Not only am I waking the humans up in the middle of the night for no reason (last night I climbed mount Human Man and stood on him until he yelled at me to get off of him), but every time the human woman sits down to pay attention to that stupid iPad thing, I do this:

Well, this would be where I had a video of me attacking the human woman... but blogger is being a butthead and won't upload it... harrumpf.

Today's festivities included the Human Woman making cookies. But instead of the usual tasty peanut butter cookies, she made cookies that we can't have because they had chocolate in them. Can you imagine that? SERIOUSLY? You're going to bake and NOT give us anything?

I mean SERIOUSLY! Spineless Bionic hip/knee pup Sam even got off the Sleep Number bed because he smelled her baking and expected his cookies!

We totally guilted her into making us something tasty.

Ok, I totally blocked the oven until she did make us something. We got our very own buttermilk biscuits hot from the oven and hand fed to us. Yep, we know who rules the house.

Meeshka

Hoo That Funny Human Woman!

2011-02-04T17:23:00.001-05:00

Wanna hear something funny? Oh its a real knee slapper... if dogs had knees... well, we do have knees, its just a bit inconvenient to slap them when we laugh, but I'm sure you'll appreciate this real hoot of a funny story.

Yeah, so remember how I told you that Spineless Bionic hip/knee pup, Sam, was on antibiotics for a personal (sore pee pee) reason? Yeah, and did I happen to mention that the specific antibiotics he was on is the very same antibiotics that I'm allergic to and make me horka if I have them? Well, I may have neglected to mention that part, because why on earth would the human woman even bother to give me any of those pills, because they are for Sam and not for me and she knows that they make me horka?

Because the human woman is a moron and the other night while she was distracted with whatever delusional thoughts go on in that head of hers, she prepped us all some tasty livergreat and smooshed the Spineless pill in some livergreat and then gave us all our bits of mooshed livergreat and then said (wait for it, its a side splitter):

Wait a minute... where's Sam's pill?

Yep, that's right, she had no idea WHO she may have fed the livergreat smeared pill to! Hello SPCA?

So what do you think the odds were that of three livergreat globs given to three dogs that the ONE dog that's allergic to the pill would get it... need a calculator for that one... want a hint?

I'm so freaking clawing her in her sleep.

Meeshka
I want another dinner now!

New HULA Members: Avery and Brogan

2011-01-30T15:04:00.001-05:00

Dear Queen Meeshka

We are submitting a double HULA application to you today. Our brother Quinn was a proud HULA operative and before he went to the Rainbow Bridge he passed the torch on to us. We may not be “real” huskies, but we have lived with the best of them. Potential member #1 is Avery the Siberian Psycho Terrier - half husky, half terrier, all evil. Potential member #2 is Brogan the Dwarf Australian Setter - a mystery breed with a lot of potential.

Here are our qualifications.

Demonstrating disruptive behavior:
Brogan’s specialty is “retrieving” items. Or rather, carrying them around in his mouth and depositing them outside. Mom is always finding her socks outside, which is particularly disruptive during the winter:

Avery prefers to terrier-ize those around her such as brother Quinn and foster brother Phoenix (another HULA operative)

Causing humans to freak out:
One day Avery and our brother Eli (also at the bridge) begged mom to let them stay out of the crates when she went to work. When she came home she found out the front door blew open and both of them went walkabout. They’d been on the run for hours and mom didn’t even know where to look for them. Mom is very thankful for nice neighbors who like dogs. Brogan is more subtle in his freak out skills. He prefers to do things like horka for no reason or limp for a week for no reason - even the vet was stumped - before miraculously becoming healthy again.

Destroying something:
We’ll never understand why she continues to buy stuffed monkeys.

Human behavior modification:

Brogan is a consummate shoe thief. Mom tried putting her shoes on top of the crate but he’d just climb up there and retrieve them. Now when she lets us OUT of the crate she puts her shoes IN the crate and locks them in.

Humans dress you up:
Yes! That evil woman made us dress up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 for Halloween!! Sure we won the costume contest, but come on! Brogan had to wear a wig and Avery had to have her hair sprayed electric blue.

Even worse was the “photo shoot” she created when she got bored after she lost her job. Poor Avery hasn’t been able to show her face at the dog park since then.

Love of Kleenex and all things paper:
Brogan’s personal favorite is toilet paper. We love watching mom crawl under the couch (with pants around her ankles) to retrieve the roll of toilet paper he’s stolen and deposited there. Next best thing is paper towels. And Avery does not take kindly to being scolded for shredding them.

We are forever your humble servants.

Avery and Brogan

- Welcome to the HULA Hoop! We also mourn the passing of faithful HULA member Quinn.

Meeshka

What Do You Mean I Can't Have That?

2011-01-28T17:27:00.000-05:00

So, the Human Man was broken for a week or so. It was nice that he stayed home with us, but he couldn't move fast enough to get us our cookies when we wanted... and he didn't seem pleased when we jumped on him to persuade him to move faster... go figure.

Just when we were getting back to a normal routine, the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam had an "issue" and had to go to the vet. He's all embarrassed and doesn't want me to say what was wrong with him (he had pee pee issues), so I'll respect his privacy.

Here is Sam trying to escape after the VET got WAAAAY too familiar with him... he's very shy and embarrasses easily.

Turns out (for a change) that there's nothing expensive wrong with him, he's just got to take some antibiotics for a while and hopefully that'll sort things out. This is the best possible news for us because whenever Sam needs pills, that means one thing:

Oh yeah, its LIVERGREAT!!!!!

The human woman stocked up on livergreat and now we all get some whenever Sam gets his pills (morning and night). I tried to change his pill label to read "every hour" but the pen smudged and I was thwarted.

Anyhoo, the other morning we had lined all up for our livergreat treat: one for me, one for Mutatoe, and one for Sam... but Sam's has the icky pill in it. Imagine my surprise when Sam's glob of livergreat literally fell right out of his mouth and right near my feet! What's a husky to do? I mean, seriously, who would pass that up?

Apparently the human woman wasn't too keen about me getting a Sam pill and totally freaked out:

Yep, she totally shoved half her arm in my mouth and before I could swallow, snatched that glob of livergreat and pill right out of my throat! It all happened so quickly there wasn't a thing I could do (and note to Human Woman... seriously... trim those nails a bit).

To make up for such an intrusion, and to her credit, the Human Woman gave me another blob of livergreat, probably to thank me for not taking off half of her arm. The only thing that saved her from a later clawing was the fluffy snow we got.

Meeshka

New Product from MeeshCO

2011-01-18T14:40:00.000-05:00

As we pups get older, there are life's little emergencies that we may not be able to handle like we did when we were younger. Older and wiser, we know that help may not be close by when these situations occur, so we need to make sure that we have the support we need, when we need it, and at a moment's notice.

MeeshCO cares about its customers, and wants to provide them with the confidence they need to live a worry free life and remain independent as long as possible, which is why we've developed the Treat Alert©.

How many times have you found yourself in a comfy position, only to realize that you could use a cookie or other snack? Seniors shouldn't have to get up and claw their humans for a cookie, therefore we've made it easier for seniors to get what they need, when they want it with Treat Alert©

Simply press the button on the handy bracelet and your Treat Alert© will not only send out an audible alarm, but will also send an electric shock to the matching Treat Alert© Human Pairing Bracelet, notifying your human of your want of a cookie.

No more getting up and hunting down your human, or that exhausting clawing, Treat Alert© gives its wearer a safe and easy way to get the assistance they need... quickly.

Treat Alert©
Available online exclusively from MeeshCO... where dogs rule.

New HULA Member: Rocco!

2011-01-15T11:50:00.000-05:00

I have fallen a bit behind on processing new HULA applications because of the snow... I'm sure all of woo will understand the delay. Plus, don't forget, I have an inept Human Woman... that pretty much says it all.

Anywoo, somehow this little gem of an application got missed while processing others, and I want to give this pup some extra credit for making a tidy, concise HULA application via the interwebs on their blog. For future HULA members, if you have a blog, please feel free to do your application there and send me the link, I'm fine with that, as it takes less work and we all know how I'm all about the less work (see part about inept Human Woman).

Now, onto a well deserved new HULA member: Rocco.

I am especially enamored by the taking over of the interwebs part... so Rocco will take a place in the covert interwebs takeover (which humans typically call "hackers", our HULA interwebs takeover branch is called "Horkers") to slowly take over the world for husky-kind.

Congratulations Rocco, and welcome to the HULA Hoop. Please have your human contact my human woman at: meeshkaworld@gmail.com for your certificate (suitable for framing or snacking).

Meeshka

New HULA member: Pippa

2011-01-09T13:17:00.000-05:00

Although now retired, in his day Pippa was a valued undercover operative to the HULA cause.

Since Pippa is now retired, its ok to reveal his wonderful deeds to the cause of global Siberian Husky world domination.

Pippa started his mission by finding two humans to take him in, and from there... all chaos ensued as Pippa dove into his undercover mission to drive his humans insane without their knowledge.

Pippa has been instrumental in uncovering the master cat plan of world domination and doing whatever necessary to thwart their mission.

Still striving for perfection even in retirement, Pippa still manages to get his toast, steal the couch, and demand things from his humans to keep them on their toes by looking at them with his sad eyes and melting their resolve until they give in to his every whim.

Yes, they dress him up in a silly raincoat, and yes he's modified their behaviors, driven them insane, and loved to rip up papers and stuffs in his heyday, so in his own quiet cover way, Pippa has oozed with HULA qualifications through the years with very little recognition (as all covert operatives must do until retirement).

For this, we thank him with a hearty woo of a job well done.

Meeshka

Happy Barf Day To Me

2011-01-06T19:52:00.000-05:00

I had such high hopes for a fantastic birthday today. I'm 10 years old, and as the Queen of the World, I think I deserve a dignified, treat laden, festive day to mark my 10 year anniversary as Queen of the World.

I woke the human woman up at the reasonable hour of 4:45am this morning, and because it was my birthday, she was actually very nice about letting the Mutatoe and I out, and promptly fixed us our breakfast without complaining! Off to a wonderful start on my special day. She even gave me extra cheese sprinkles before stumbling back to bed.

As usual, I jumped up and sat on her head for a bit. The human woman is a prime candidate for spontaneous human combustion, so when she started heating up I left my head position to lounge on my very cushy bed next to the human woman's side, and of course the suck up Mama's dog Mutatoe nabbed my head spot.

I was dreaming of livergreat and all of the wonderful treats I would be getting throughout the day to celebrate my special day when I heard the unmistakable sound of pre-horka from above. Without warning, splat!

Yep, the Mutatoe threw up on me!

Granted, I was hoping for a hot meal for dinner, I didn't expect pre-chewed Mutatoe leftovers.

The human woman jumped up quickly and began to clean up the mess... without realizing that I had been the target of the spew. I stood there... waiting. Then I stomped my delicate little feety feet and rubbed against her and that certainly got her attention. She cleaned me up and apologized (even though she wasn't the one that tossed their breakfast on me), and tried to comfort me, but I was inconsolable... who wouldn't be?

To make up for it, the Human Woman brought home LIVERGREAT!!!! Yessssssss! She's been all attentive and nice to me, even after I claw her, so I guess it was worth the inconvenience... plus its much quieter since I buried the Mutatoe in the yard head first*.

*Please note: no Mutatoes were buried in the yard or harmed in the making of this blog post.

Happy Woo Year

2011-01-01T11:55:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to stop by and wish all of my royal subjects a very Happy Woo Year.

May your Woo Year be filled with love and livergreat!

Meeshka

New HULA Members: Yuri, Sheba (and Cami)

2010-12-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

Dear Meeshka,

I am sending an application for HULA membership on behalf of myself, Sheba and our sister Cami who is waiting for us on the other side of the Bridge. I think you will see that we have demonstrated our superiority over our humans during the past 13 years and have them tightly wrapped around our paws.

We have concluded our application with an awesome true story about something Sheba did that made the Hu-Mom freak out in a big way.

Aaarrrroooooos,

~Yuri

Demonstrating disruptive behavior:
--Yuri has the best Death Scream ever; he makes great use of it at the vet’s office!

–We clear the house if fed the Prairie flavor of Taste of the Wild! Dog aromatherapy!
--Getting the humans up in the middle of the night. We’re Senior Sibes; who can blame us?

Causing humans to freak out:
--Sometimes we hide in the yard and they panic thinking we have escaped. BOL.
--Yuri brought a dead squirrel into the house and dropped it at the Hu-Mom’s feet. A gift!
--Another time, Yuri brought a live bird into the house and put it into his crate. Again, what is up with the Hu-Mom?? She can’t appreciate anything!
--Remember the tainted dog food scare? That’s when we got put on Innova then Candidae and now Taste of the Wild, Salmon flavor.
--We gave the kennel staff a start when we escaped an outdoor run to request a return to indoor accommodations. Sheesh, it’s so hard to find good help these days! (Don’t worry, we had no way of escaping to the Outside World.)

Destroying something:
--Solar lights in the yard. You’d think the Staff would have seen that one coming!
--Mattress pad and sheet on the Staff bed
--Various dog beds and bedding
--Table leg
--Sofa cushions
--We love to destroy those flimsy PetSmart tennis balls, but refuse to play with the ball that even the lawn mower can’t touch. (The Hu-Mom wants us to tell you that she would never give us one of those tennis balls with out direct supervision.)

Human behavior modification:
--We’ve completely changed the way the humans live. When they buy a vehicle, they look for one that can hold crates and transport us safely. They have bought two houses that had to accommodate all of our needs.
--Cami was best Squeaker Killer - and to go with it, she had an awesome “that was my precious baby; please buy me another to promptly destroy” facial expression!
--When we moved, they naively thought that since we were older that we wouldn’t need a cattle wire around the base of the six-foot privacy fence. That didn’t last long! HAHAHA!
--We have been working on door training with pretty good success. Typically one bark is enough to get the door open for us.

--The humans are addicted to plucking our fluff and kissing our snooters. Not a bad trade-off for hand-and-paw service.
--Can we talk about the continual disturbance with the flashy beast? Next to plucking our fluff and kissing our snooters, the other thing the Staff can’t get enough of is taking our pictures. They leave the camera handy to capture all of our cuteness; no wonder they can’t get anything else done!

Humans dress you up:

Thankfully, the Staff have refrained from dressing us up. The closest example we have is that one time the Staff put an insulting bright pink harness on Cami and were dumb enough to leave it on her. The old girl chewed her way out of that thing in record time.

Love of Kleenex and all things paper. (Yuri’s speciality☺
--Dollar bills
--Paper towels
--Toilet paper rolls
--Kleenex
--Various paper wrappers
--Receipts and papers in the shred basket. (C’mon, the Staff wanted them shredded!)
--Toilet paper
--Items out of the recycle box

This story is true, we swear. We’ve let the Hu-Mom tell it from her point of view.:

One day in the summer of 1998 (when Yuri and Sheba were about 8 months old), a friend asked me if I’d like to go with her to the Humane Society over lunch. I am happy to enable anyone looking for a new dog, so was glad to make the trip. We played with some dogs, washed our hands, and were walking down a corridor to the exit, when my friend indicated a door to her right.

“There you go, Janet; there’s a Husky for you.” I looked in the window. And looked again. In the crate closest to the door, there was indeed a Husky. A black and white Husky with an open mask and a dot like a thumbprint on her forehead. I stared.

“That looks like Sheba!! That looks like my dog!!”

But it COULDN’T be Sheba! I had left Yuri and Sheba at home a couple of hours ago. Charlie would have gotten home from work shortly after that. “But that looks like Sheba!!!”

My friend did not believe that I was looking at my own dog, but recommended that I ask for assistance at the front desk.

“You have a Husky; I would like to see it!” The woman patiently explained that the shelter policy would not allow me to just visit the dog. I would have to file a lost dog report.

“But my dog isn’t lost; I left her at home just this morning!” Anyway, I proceeded to give the woman the information: eight-month old black-and-white Siberian Husky, blue eyes, female, spayed, wearing a green collar and tags. The woman silently completed her form and then turned back to me holding up Sheba’s collar.

“THAT’S SHEBA!! THAT’S MY DOG!!”

A more-experienced Siberian owner would have immediately understood exactly what happened. Sheba escaped her fenced yard just that morning and a compassionate neighbor called Animal Control. It took a moment for me to grasp what had occurred.

At eight-months old, Yuri and Sheba were just beginning to teach us the meaning of Hairy Houdini. It was not surprising that Sheba would escape; the amazing part was that I would just happen to visit the Humane Society shortly after she was brought in!

(Seriously? Look at these innocent faces!)

Sheba was none the worse for her adventure and seemed glad to see her Hu-Mom. Having made plans to pay bail and retrieve Sheba after work, my friend and I prepared to return to our office.

“UH-OH! WHERE IS YURI??” He wasn’t with Sheba; had he also escaped? We swung by my house to find Yuri wailing at his misfortune--whether it was that his sister had left him or that he hadn’t figured out how to follow her under the fence, I’m not sure. Charlie was sound asleep and had missed all of the excitement and the phone call from Animal Control.

Subsequently, we had a cattle wire installed along the base of our six-foot privacy fence. Yuri and Sheba are now 13, but we know if we ever let down our guard or that wire, they will again look for adventure on the other side.

Congratulations and welcome to HULA
- Meeshka

New HULA Members: The Thundering Herd

2010-12-26T13:35:00.000-05:00

Yes, my pupfriends, its time to shine the HULA spotlight on the Thundering Herd!

I've received numerous excuses from the Thundering Herd's human man about not having the time to properly document the chaos and mayhem caused by the Herd, blah, blah, excuse, excuse, wah wah wah! This only goes to show what exemplary HULA members the Herd is: keeping their Human Man from functioning properly in civilization. I bet he can't even put his clothes in the spinny thing and make them smell like fake flowers and junk because he's always cleaning up after the Herd and their antics... BRAVO Herd!

Now, I don't want all of you to think that I'll just go and nominate HULA members on my own and do all of the research necessary to weed out your qualifications. I'm much too busy for that (currently I'm gathering small bits of snow that are falling that was suppose to be a snowmageddon but got canceled because weather people are morons and need to be clawed.

Anyhoo, this is a once in a lifetime HULA nomination, because I need the Herd to concentrate on their operations to drive their humans insane (and they are close to being finished apparently).

HULA Qualifications
1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
There's nothing better than having a bunch of you "act up" while on a peaceful walk with one human man... The Herd has perfected the whole "oh sure, we're well mannered huskies that obey your every command until we get you alone out in the middle of nowhere and then watch out" tactic. This is only matched with the "wait until we get out in public and embarrass you" tactic. You can also insist upon walking in between the Human Man's legs, like Rusty here.

2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason
Was accomplished on Christmas Eve by Queen Natasha, who ate something that didn't agree with her (probably a nice book) and was rushed to the puppy ER for treatment. We are pleased to announce that she's back home giggling, and want to send a word of caution to other HULA wannabees: don't hurt yourself in your attempts to freak out your humans... but a vet run or two for non-serious things is not only fun, but expensive!

3. Destroy Something
Using the "eat an entire loaf of bread" as a diversionary tactic to destroy other things is the best way to accomplish maximum destruction. Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam totally approves of the consumption of bread products in this carefully coordinated sneak attack. We also approve of stealing money.

4. Human behavior modification:
Making the humans erect barriers around the things they want to keep whole and then inconveniencing themselves in the process is a great trick. What makes it even better is getting yourself into predicaments where the humans have to come to your rescue, or at the very least see why you are screaming at the top of your lungs as if scalded weasels were eating your eyes. The only better maneuver is to completely defeat their attempts at blocking you, and giving them the finger.

5. Humans dress you up
I have found no evidence that the Human Man dresses up the Thundering Herd... probably because he knows better. I approve.

6. Love of Kleenex
Although I'm sure there have been incidences of kleenex addiction, the Herd has mastered the "shredding of important paperwork" missions with style and pizazz, therefore I'll cut them some slack on no pictures or evidence of rolls of toilet paper snow throughout the household.

Welcome to the HULA Hoop:

Natasha
Rusty
Kiska
Kodiak
Qannik
Cheoah

Meeshka

New HULA Member: Pele

2010-12-24T10:06:00.000-05:00

Hi Meeshka,

This is Pele. I am a 1 year old Siberian Husky. I want to submit my application for membership in H.U.L.A. I believe that I have the traits to become a good member of your organization. Here are my qualifications:

1) Disruptive Behavior
Not sure what type of disruptive behavior you are looking for. My Human family call me Psycho Pup, I am the Queen of the Zoomies. I also torture my sister Siberian Husky Georgie. I can run circles around her. You can check out the video Mom posted to our blog.

As you can see in the video, I can run circles around, over and under Georgie. It is not really disruptive, but it is FUN.

I also steal the human teen girl's socks and run around the house with them. I do this so I can get a COOKIE.

2) Cause Humans to Freak Out For No Reason
These humans around here do not freak out so easily. It is really tough to get them to do this. The only time they - or I should say Mom - freaked out was when I got loose after they reconfigured the front gates. I slipped out under the fence that goes up the stairs. She was screaming, and screaming at me - until she remembered that I like COOKIES.

3) Destroy Something.
I am very good at this. There are numerous items I have destroyed, things like: socks, my beds, coasters, toothpicks, rug, I put a hole in the carpet and an assortment of other things. I also destroyed the sofa by using the back of it as a springboard when I get the zoomies. Again you can check out our blog to see some of the items I have destroyed.

Check the following blog archives as well:

Psycho Pup Strikes Again. Here I destroyed one of Georgie Girl's stuffies.
Pele vs the Bed. This is the second bed I destroyed. The first one was the one that use to belong to Magic Girl.
The Other Bed is G-O-N-E. You will have to scroll to see this post. It is the third bed I destroyed.

4) Human Behavior Modification.
My humans modified their front gate so that we could go out front without a tie out. Well, I still have to use the stupid tie out because I can slip out under the fence. They tried to come up with some sort of idea on how to keep me in, but because it is an iron railing over concrete steps, they have not yet figured it out.

There is also a baby gate across the bottom of the stairs to keep me down on the first floor.
Also last years' Christmas Tree was modified because of me. Mom usually has this huge tree, all decorated in white (to symbolize snow and ice), but if you check out the blog archives, you will see the difference in the Christmas Trees.

After Thanksgiving Tales. This is the smaller tree she used last year.
Getting Ready For Santa Paws. This is the tree she usually has up for Christmas. BTW - this may also count towards a Freak Out, because she FREAKS anytime I get near it.

5) Humans Dress You Up

After Thanksgiving Tales. She put these stupid antlers on us and actually took photos. And then to add insult to injury, she made Christmas Cards out of these pictures and actually send them out!!! How humiliating.

6) Love of Kleenex
I don't usually get my paws on the Kleenex, but I do get the Q-tips from the bathroom trash!! I also counter surf and get my paws on napkins. Under The Deck Day Two. There is a photo of my handwork with a napkin.

Well Meeshka, there you have it.
I hope you will accept me into the ranks of your H.U.L.A organization.
Thanks
Pele, the Psycho Pup

Welcome to the HULA Hoop Pele!

Heaven Needed Another Angel

2010-12-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

Christmas seems to be a tough time in my household. Traditionally its all about the birth of Jesus, the winter solstice, or simply a time to show your appreciation of your loved ones and friends with gifts, but in our household it has come to symbolize a time of loss or tribulation.

My humans lost their beloved Nakidka near Christmas in 2000.

The Bionic Hip puppy, Sam, became the Spineless Bionic Hip puppy Sam on Christmas day 2006.

This year, we've all lost a good friend and fellow HULA operative Opy.

I first "met" Opy through the Interwebs in 2006. A stunning black lab named after the multimillionaire television talk show host, Opy was just as rich and generous as her namesake, not in money, but in love and commitment to her friends.

During my first blogathon, Opy and Charlie stayed up with me all night and helped me with material and moral support. They even made me a cool button to use for Blogathon 2007, and once again stayed up with me to help me stay awake when the human woman conked out early.

Opy and Charlie (with the help of their humans) created Dogs With Blogs, which not only allowed dogs from all over the world to connect and network, but also helped raise money for poor dogs all over the place that couldn't afford computers... or just needed some kind of help.

Through their site I was able to make even more friends and cultivate more HULA operatives and learn a thing or two. One of the most important things about Dogs With Blogs is that although a dog's life may be short (compared to a human life-span) their blog lives on long after they are gone, they continue to live through their words and pictures, and therefore they live on in our hearts.

Opy and Charlie started a movement. Bringing together the dog blogging community and leaving an everlasting footprint on the interwebs for others to sniff out later, and relive the lives of good dogs who were loved, who loved their humans, and bring a smile to someone's face, long after those footprints have been walked.

We'll miss you Opy. Forever in our hearts, until we meet again... across the Rainbow Bridge.

Meeshka

In Memory

2010-12-21T19:45:00.000-05:00

Nakidka Sobaka

January 5, 1988 - December 21, 2000

And to all of the other pups that are waiting for us across the Rainbow Bridge:

Forever in our hearts, until we meet again... across the Rainbow Bridge

New HULA Member: Fuzzbutt

2010-12-19T14:29:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, I'm totally jealous of the fluffability of Fuzzbutt, and pondered whether to actually allow somepup into HULA that was totally more fluffy than me, but with credentials like this... we need such a valuable member in the Hoop, so congratulations Fuzzbutt!

Hi Meeshka,

I have:

destroyed a down coat,
opened jars and dumped contents on the van floor,
ripped up bags of chips,
chewed the tops off gallon milk jugs and spilled milk,
gotten into the shelving units in the van and destroyed stuff,
chewed off the handles from my Dad's tool kit,
locked the van doors so my humans had to climb in thru the back to open the door,
changed radio settings with my nose in the van,
stuck my nose out the partially opened window of the van when my humans left me there to wait for them, and hollered so loud that people thought something was wrong with me.

That is only a little bit of what I can do. Can I be in the HULA group?

Oh Yes, I also digest reading material. Hee Hee
Take a look at my face. Is that the face of a guilty dog?

Fuzzbutt

New HULA Operative: Miss Moo

2010-12-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

The outpouring of HULA-ness is overwhelming! I'm so happy to hear that covert activities were being performed even while our cell was napping. Please join me in welcoming Moo to the HULA Hoop. With such a clever operative as this, and all of you other Hoop members, we are sure to take over the world from the clueless humans!

Dear Queen Meeshka,

Moo here, applying for HULA membership.

1. Disruptive behavior- I like to grab Jack by the ears and drag him on the ground till he screams like a little girl. Disrupts the humans from doing whatever it is they're doing every time. There's several videos of me doing this on our blog, but mom edits out the sound so people don't think Jack's a big wuss, even though he is.

More disruptive behavior:   I've been conduction an experiment: I get under mom's elbow & shove it up with my snooter when she's trying to draw on the computer thingy.   I do this at least a dozen times a day. I've been studying her reaction, and it appears to become more irritating and disruptive the more times I do it to her.   I think this move gets a 4-paws up.

2. Human freak-outs....
I ate Jack's stuffie husky head about 3 days after they brought me home.   I horka-d' it up and mom found an eyeball looking at her. She found the other eyeball poop-scooping.   They freaked all right.   Hey, how should I know you aren't supposed to eat the darn things?   I've never had a stuffie before. Tasted like chicken.

I got in trouble for trying to swallow a mouse I caught on our walk the other day.   Judging from mom's reaction, attempting to swallow small furry creatures if cause for a spectacular human freak out.

3. Destroy something - did ya catch my Monday View from the Moo this week?

4. Human behavior modification:   I have successfully trained my human to be a light sleeper.   I repeatedly demonstrated that if she doesn't get up to let me out at 2 am, she will be washing the floor in front of the door again.

5. I will have to substitute something for #5. I will not put up with being dressed in clothing. Period.

6. Love of kleenex.... so snack bar wrappers count too?   I love to sneak them outside to lick all the bits of chocolate off them. Yeah, I know about chocolate & dogs, but I like to live dangerously.   Wooos, even more than paper products, I like to eat roses. I'll attach a "before " picture, about 20 minutes later all that was left were a few half-chewed petals on the ground.   Mom gave up on keeping that rose bush alive, she chopped it down.

Hope this covers it, looking forward to joining the ranks of HULA operatives!

toodle woo,
miss moo

Iams Home 4 the Holidays

2010-12-17T14:56:00.001-05:00

I was contacted by Trevor (a mixed breed puggle spaniel in a human suit) and asked to help support a good cause.

I'm pleased to announce that I will be promoting the Iams Home 4 the Holidays drive again this year.

Since 2008, the Gimpy Gang has supported this wonderful cause, whose goal is to find homes for 1 million shelter animals.

This year they are also donating food!

Lets save a bunch of pups and kits this year by supporting this great cause. Click HERE and go to their website to find out how you can help, donate, and spread the word. (LOOK, its a husky puppy on the picture!!! How can you resist that... donate!!!)

Remember, Iams promises to start making a Livergreat dog food if we help them in this cause... yeah, yeah, its been three years since they promised, but I'm pretty sure they'll do it for us THIS time... really... so click the link, help out homeless pets, and don't make me stomp my delicate little feety feet at you!

Your Queen

Meeshka

The Rise of HULA

2010-12-12T14:42:00.001-05:00

HULA Members!

I know that some humans have called HULA a "sleeper" cell... well, actually we're a "napper" cell and its time for us to wake up from our naps, take a big stretch and yawn and begin our efforts to take over the world once more!

I've been highly agitated to the point of stomping my delicate little feety feet over the torture going on in the blogosphere, and the humiliation of our pupdom. LOOK AT THIS BLATANT ACT OF DISRESPECT!!!

This poor pup is Ciara from the Chronicle of Woos

But wait... just when you thought it couldn't get any worse OHMYFLUFF LOOK AT THIS!

SERIOUSLY!!! Things have gotten WAAAAY out of control while we've napped and now its time to redouble our efforts to take over the world.

Think this is just a random occurrence?

This is one of the (not so happy) Five Sibes!
I THINK NOT!

For those new to my blog and who want to assist in total canine domination of the world, here is the HULA spiel:

HULA Qualifications
1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason
3. Destroy Something
4. Human behavior modification:
5. Humans dress you up
6. Love of Kleenex

HULA stands for the Husky United Liberation Army. Although starting out as a "huskies only" group, we've found that all breeds of dogs (and cats) have the potential to help our cause, and are (if qualified) allowed to join the HULA Hoop.

HULA's mission is to slowly and covertly drive humans insane. Once all humans have been driven to the brink of insanity, we will then take over the world, where I will assume the position of Queen of the Earth.

If you feel that you have carried out covert missions to drive your human insane, wish to be a member of HULA (You will receive recognition of your deeds on my manifesto blog, and a stunning certificate, suitable for framing or tearing into little shreds, eating, then pooping it out), all you have to do is send me an e-mail with:

A write up of your covert deeds
Pictures demonstrating your cunning, guile, and evidence of your superiority over your humans

Send your write ups and pictures to: meeshkaworld@gmail.com
or if you blog, send me the link to your blog where you list your HULA qualifications and if you are lucky, you too will be a member of the Elite HULA Hoop!

Your entries will be scrutinized for completeness and posted if you are worthy. Your certificate will be e-mailed to you.

For examples, please refer to current HULA members who are listed on the right hand side of my blog (scroll down... keep scrolling... keeeeep scrolling... there!)

Meeshka

Subtle Hint

2010-11-28T14:46:00.004-05:00

Five days ago the Human Woman came home and pronounced that she had a glorious five days off. Fantastic for us because that meant she could wait on us hand and foot and play with us, and generally do our bidding.

We're on Day Five right now. When she said that she planned on lounging around in sleepy pants for five days, we just assumed that meant 5 pairs of sleepy pants, and not one general ensemble for the whole five days, and there would be some bathing involved somewhere along the line. I mean its fine for Huskies to go months, if not years, without a bath because we are self cleaning (and scotch-guarded) but humans tend to reek after a few days of not slathering the foaming stinky faux flower soap stuff on them.

It wasn't so bad days 1-4, but it finally got cold enough for the house heat to turn on, and frankly we thought something tasty had died in the heater, then we got up close to her... uh huh.

Meeshka

Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T19:02:00.003-05:00

Its all about the giving... so give me more turkey please.

Meeshka's Believe it or Claw

2010-11-20T17:50:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I get questions about my life that I've been meaning to answer.

Today's question is: Do you call Sam "spineless" because he's scared of things?

I use to think that Sam was too stupid to be scared of anything, but I've changed my mind over the past few years, and now see him as an evil genius. Evil in a good husky way, and a genius because he has figured out how to have the humans lift him onto the bed, carry him off the bed, feed him in bed (whenever he doesn't feel like being lifted off the bed), carried down stairs, and catered to like a king.

Of course all of this came at a price, and for Sam that has meant 3 surgeries. You see, the reason I call Sam "spineless" is because he doesn't have a spine. Yep, it was removed a few years ago. Ok, not the entire spine, but the way he acts, you would think he didn't have one, because he spends most of his time on the sleep number bed (having been lifted onto it by the humans) and being catered to hand and foot.

On top of that, when he was a tiny pup, he had his hip replaced with a bionic part. Sam will never get through TSA screening (although I'm sure he'd enjoy the groping) with that hunk of metal in him, and then he had his knee repaired when he tore stuff in there after trying to run in the yard (that's what he gets for laying in bed all the time). On top of everything else, Sam has one front leg and one back leg that is shorter than the other legs, so he always looks like he's walking with one side on the curb and the other off the curb.

In a nutshell, Sam is a medical mess.

So, that's why he's spineless: he doesn't have one.

Sam also has the amazing ability to poo using only one leg. I keep trying to sell him off as a circus side show freak, but no takers so far. I guess he learned it from the myriad of surgeries, but Sam will balance on one front leg, lift his other leg and back end off the ground and poo. I'm thinking that's worth the price of admission right there.

To make him even more of a freak of nature, Sam will only poo if he can poo on SOMETHING.

Sam will poo on a stick:

Sam will poo on a pile of leaves:

Sam will poo on the Mutatoe:

Needless to say, Mutatoe is never thrilled when that happens, but it is funny.

Believe it, or claw

Meeshka

Seriously?

2010-11-19T20:21:00.000-05:00

I'm sure all of you dear readers are aware that I play a bit rough. I'm a husky, rough is how we like it!

Given that I'm not allowed to play with the delicate and easily breakable Spineless Bionic Hip/knee pup Sam, and that the Mutatoe screams like a scalded weasel and runs to the Human Woman if I even look at him sideways. When I first landed in this house, I was suppose to be the trusted companion of the Nova Old Guy-Guy, but he was so creaky that I couldn't sufficiently play with him either, which left me with the Human Woman.

She's worthless for being chased or chasing, and she's horrible at ricocheting off furniture unless I push her down, which still isn't graceful, but it sure is funny. We also play a game where she "hides" and I walk by her, "oblivious" to her presence until she jumps out and "scares" me, and I run away. Yeah, yeah, that's all fine and good, but a husky needs to wrestle! I need a victim... I mean playmate, that I can grab by the scruff of the neck, throw down, and stomp on... and she bleeds too easy and screams.

The other night we got going with a round of "I'm going to bite your arm for touching my freakin feet", and she was whining and complaining (and bleeding all over the place) right after we started. That sure puts a damper on play time... but she said she had a fantastic idea and left the room. When she came back, she was wearing oven mitts!

Seriously? Oven mitts? You're going to attack me wearing oven mitts? How can I play with something that's wearing oven mitts? It really takes away from the danger and intrigue when the victim is wearing big fluffy oven mitts, and I certainly couldn't concentrate on severing a finger when the oven mitts smelled like all sorts of tasty past cooked foods and gunk.

I'm trying to convince her that she should also don some steak shin guards.

Veteran's Day

2010-11-11T10:18:00.000-05:00

Today we honor the human men and woman who have served our great country to ensure its freedom. Without their sacrifices, we would not be the free nation that we are today for all humans and pupkind (and catkind).

We also celebrate and honor those brave soldier dogs who also served, fought, and sacrificed their lives so that others can be free (and pampered by their humans).

The Gimpy gang and your queen would like to honor United States Marine Corps Corporal Rex Ahlbin, a decorated war dog that fought at Guadalcanal

A decorated war hero, Rex was a combat dog who served with the US Marine Corps during World War II. Rex served with the US 3rd Marine Division during the Battle of Empress Augusta Bay at Bougainville Island in 1943. Rex, a two-year-old Doberman, warned of the presence of Japanese soldiers near a Marine position, enabling Marines to fend off a later attack. Rex also served with the Marine Corps during the Guadalcanal campaign and at the Battle of Tinian. For his service, Rex was promoted to the rank of corporal by the Marine Corps in 1944. (Wikipedia)

Rex is buried at the historic Rosa Bonheur Memorial Park located in Elkridge, Maryland. My humans had the honor of helping to restore this cemetery when it fell into disarray from lack of upkeep.

On Memorial Day of 2006, they arranged for Rex's family to attend a ceremony honoring their beloved war dog and later, member of their family.

We salute Rex and all of the other brave War Dogs on this veteran's day!

Meeshka

A Call To Claws

2010-10-30T19:16:00.000-04:00

I'm sure a lot of you have heard the horrendous news that a company has finally figured out how to roll that tasty toilet paper food without the cardboard roll. While I'm particular to the actual meat of the roll, the news has hit Spineless Bionic Hip Knee pup Sam hard, as he LOVES the cardboard tube. Because I can't stand to listen to him whine and complain about this new innovation, I'm calling all pups and kits to claws to stop this outrage.

Humans; before you get rid of this "needless waste of paper product", I would like to remind you of all those cute videos you've shot with your pup or kit playing with the cardboard tube. No more cute little moments of fun because your pup or kit will be taking prozac and watching Oprah because they have had their one cheap joy in life ripped from them.

No more fun crafts with your human bipedal kids anymore either. No more cute little dog crafts with the kiddies because you selfishly wanted that last tiny, itty, bitty shred of toilet paper that got glued to the roll. The cleanliness of your po-po is more important than spending some bonding time with your kid making cute little toilet roll crafts. I'd like to point out to you that if you had some fur down there you wouldn't need toilet paper, but you do need it and that tiny little shred of toilet paper left on the roll certainly won't give you the deep down clean you need or save enough money to get back the quality time you would have spent with your kid who is now in therapy for neglect.

Sure, go ahead and get rid of those toilet paper rolls... ruin your relationships, traumatize your pets, and put your children into a parentless stupor while you go wipe your po-po with that newly found .0003 micrometer of glueless toilet paper. Be that way.

Meeshka

Working Dogs

2010-10-24T11:35:00.000-04:00

This morning I hacked into my human woman's facebook and saw she was complaining about the fact that she was downstairs and her coffee was upstairs. Typical.

What was disturbing was that some of her "friends" were suggesting that she teach her huskies (namely ME, since the other two are worthless and gimpy) to go fetch her coffee. Seriously? First its all about pulling a stupid sled when they have 2 trucks and a motorcycle, and now they expect me to go fetch her coffee when her feeble and addled mind makes her forget that she just made a cup and walked off without it?

This whole "Working Dog" breed thing is out of control. Its as if they just made up the title so they wouldn't have to be responsible for anything. I would have voted that Siberian Huskies be the "Really Fluffy Laying on a Cold Air Vent" breed, but apparently I wasn't allowed to vote.

Since I'm apparently stuck with the "Working Breed" title, I was napping... I mean thinking really hard about what sort of work I would actually be qualified to do, and then it came to me: Search and Rescue.

Well, maybe not rescue, but I'm really good at searching for stuff, like used kleenex, candy wrappers, and an entire roast left unattended on a counter. There are some limitations to our work though. We're very good at finding balls or other toys that are thrown by humans...

... we're just not very good at actually bringing the thrown thing back, so if the humans wanted us to find things, they'd need to keep up with us, because once we found the thing, well... there's other things to sniff around for, so we'd be off to find that gloriously stinky dead thing to roll in (unless of course the thing they wanted us to find was the gloriously stinky dead thing, and I would have to guess that building a murder case when we've rolled in their evidence would be a bit problematic).

I would also like to add that unless the thing they wanted us to find was tasty and stinky, we probably wouldn't work too hard to find it, therefore if you want us to find a lost child, make sure the lost child is holding a piece of steak, or a used kleenex. It would also help if you threw the lost child holding a piece of steak a short distance, as we get distracted by other things easily and may actually find a rotting woodchuck that was closer.

Meeshka

A Reply to Joe Sestak

2010-10-17T10:52:00.000-04:00

Another stupid human is blaming dogs for the current mess in my country:

Dear Mr. Sestak:

We dogs never asked you to clean up our poop.

Our poop is a natural fertilizer that gives plants and grass
the nutrients they need to grow and flourish. If left alone, our poop will create lovely fields that you humans can walk through and enjoy nature at its finest (just clean off your shoes before you get in your car, or learn how not to step in it).

But you humans think you are so much smarter than dogs, and insist that our poop be picked up. Instead of allowing us dogs to naturally fertilize your lands and eat tasty small critters that you end up poisoning (along with your water), you demand that other humans put our natural fertilizers in non-biodegradable bags that leech toxic chemicals into the ground and clog up landfills and stink.

You think you know it all, you think you're helping when all you do is make a bigger mess and then blame us... the dogs!

Humans need to learn to LEAVE THINGS ALONE! Eventually from poop comes a nice tree, but if you keep meddling in everything, you'll just make things worse. Why don't all of you just go home and play with your dogs and stop worrying about everyone else's dogs and for the love of GAH stop "cleaning" everything!

This message is not paid for by any stupid human and is on behalf of Meeshka, Queen of everything including the air vent in the bedroom, and I approve this message.

My Hobbies

2010-10-11T16:05:00.002-04:00

The Working Breed

2010-10-03T15:33:00.000-04:00

As most of you know, the Siberian Husky (of which I am one) is a "working breed". Our job is to pull sleds, but... seriously? Humans have cars, why should I pull a freakin sled?

I've re-invented the breed to include jobs such as:

Snoopervision
Staring
Clawing
Stomping
Wooing
Asking to go in, go out, go in, go out, go in, go out

These are much easier and more fulfilling jobs than pulling a silly sled.

As far as the ample assed Mutatoe (and I feel that I need to provide a pronunciation guide for this, as I've been told it isn't very clear: Moootahtoe), since his release from the Betty Ford Clinic for Cushy Hoarding, he isn't allow near soft things (clothes, socks, my down fluffiness) for fear that he will relapse and begin piling these items into a big pile and laying on it again.

Therefore, the human woman does allow him to assist in the sorting of dirty clothes prior to being thrown into the loud stinky machine (aka: washer), where they go from stinky goodness, to smelling like a fake flower or stuffed bear that speaks and needs to be shredded (aka: corporate sellout bear).

As with most working dogs, Mutatoe has his very own method for sorting clothes, and here is a fine example of his work.

- Meeshka -

How Do They Do That?

2010-09-25T09:45:00.000-04:00

I'm sure its never occurred to humans how dogs, no matter how much light, manage to run through a yard and not step in any poo, whereas humans managed to ALWAYS step in poo.

First of all, when you live with a lazy human woman who NEVER scoops the yard, despite her high tech poo scooper that makes scooping poo easy and clean, believe me, you develop a plan for pooing that involves only pooing in low traffic areas, plotting paths, and enforcing the claw when one of your gimpy co-horts violates the rule and leaves a tasty little package where it isn't suppose to be.

Coupled with our ultra high tech sensors such as 7 miles of nose buds that can smell poo (and tasty dead things to roll in) from miles away, and a keen sense of eyesight that rivals that bogus 6 million dollar man guy, we are perfectly capable of avoiding the most nasty of things no matter the lighting...

Except...

So, early this morning, despite the fact its one of those days where the human woman claims she is able to sleep in and not feed us or give us treats, or whatever and can lounge in my bed for hours and hours, we got her lazy butt up so we could pee and I needed to poo. Its dark, but per our poo arrangement, I am able to easily navigate the minefield of the back yard and do my "business" and navigate back to the house, expecting my breakfast.

Mutatoe, who continues to be a suck up wannabe, ran over to where I had been and...

... he's so embarrassing, I mean seriously! Like he couldn't smell that? I would have smacked him down, but eeeuuuw.

He's all sorts of upset now because the human woman now calls him the "Pootatoe". I think that name is going to stick... pun intended.

Meeshka

How I spent my morning

2010-09-19T14:02:00.000-04:00

On This Day...

2010-09-11T16:32:00.000-04:00

New From MeeshCO!

2010-09-11T13:38:00.000-04:00

You may have seen those bracelets on tv that claim to dispel negative energy and bring stability to your life! Frankly the human woman does that whenever she eats egg salad sandwiches... oh wait, that's distributes negative odors and brings instability to the household, well, whatever, you know what I mean.

I find that humans are so gullible that they are most likely breaking limbs getting to their phones to order a zillion of these things when all they really have to do is tell people that annoy them to shut up (as we pups have all learned from Master Tubey, high priest of dispelling stupidity), thus dispelling all negative energy from their lives, along with stocking up on tasty ice cream.

So, now that I've just taught you humans how to dispel negative energy, wouldn't you rather spend your money on something that will make you irresistible and loved? Wouldn't you rather have people greet you with open arms and invite you to places? Wouldn't you rather be the life of the party? Screw negative energy and balance, you want to have everyone to love you!

Introducing: iPopular!

Made from only the finest Gallus gallus domesticus materials, and secured around your neck with fine silken-like but not really silk materials, the iPopular will guarantee that you are the MOST popular person at any function you attend. Even standing in line to pick up your stupid dry cleaning, people will talk about you and want to be around you... they'll probably even take pictures of you, because who can resist the fine craftmanship of the iPopular and the stunning person wearing it.

A must have for people with no social skills or friends, put on the iPopular and feel the love as people point at you in awe and respect.

Be warned, your popularity from the moment you put the iPopular will grow so quickly that it could be a bit overwhelming, so until you are use to its powerful ability to draw friends to you, you'll want to wear some sensible shoes.

Be the first one on your block to own the iPopular, yours for only the low low price of $19.95 plus shipping and handling. If you call now, we'll give you TWO iPopulars, one for yourself and another for friend so you can share the love.

iPopular, exclusively from MeeshCO, where quality is... quality.

Meeshka

Public Service Announcement

2010-09-05T21:47:00.000-04:00

Woo is Me

2010-08-27T14:43:00.000-04:00

I guess you must be wondering why I haven't made the call for everyone's "Uncle Jack Armageddon/Celebrity Death Ghoul Pool" guesses... sigh.

For reasons yet to be explained to us, Uncle Jack will not be visiting us this year.

I know.

Seriously, I know.

I'll wait until you're done howling with abject sadness.

Uncle Jack has visited us every year since I was a wee little fluffy puppy, and frankly I have no idea what we're going to do with ourselves this year. Oh sure, the humans are still taking the time off and all, but still, there won't be any of this:

No waiting for Uncle Jack to wake up (or for the door to mysteriously open that allows us to jump and stomp on Uncle Jack)

And yes... no Celebrity Ghoul Pool!

For those of you who aren't a regular reader (shame on you) every time Uncle Jack visits, a famous celebrity dies. I'm still not sure my friends in Australia (Huffle, Opy) have ever forgiven him for killing off Steve Irwin.

Uncle Jack also brings along some sort of horrific natural catastrophe (Katrina is one fine example), and something in the human house usually breaks (attic fan, telephones).

I'm not sure if the earth has been notified that Uncle Jack won't be visiting (there's two hurricanes approaching the East Coast)... hmmm. Perhaps we should hold the ghoul pool and the natural catastrophe pool, and the what will break at the human's house pool. Maybe all these years it really wasn't Uncle Jack... maybe the HUMANS are the cause!

Regardless, we'll miss you Uncle Jack. Wish you could visit this year, but we understand. We'll just save up the claw for next year.

Meeshka

P.S. We haven't told Spineless Bionic hip/knee puppy Sam that Uncle Jack isn't visiting. We're seeing how long he stares out the window. For all we know, he's staring at a bug.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-18T20:31:00.000-04:00

The human woman's reaction that Bear-Bear's shooter only got 2 misdemeanors... well, better than nothing.

More thoughts on this on trenchant thursday.

Meeshka

Ode to Justice

2010-08-13T21:03:00.000-04:00

Justice for Bear-Bear - An interview with his family

2010-08-07T21:17:00.018-04:00

While this blog is typically written tongue-in-cheek from Meeshka's point of view, the seriousness of this event compels us to temporarily break from that style. We know that you all will understand.
Like many of you, we have been following the tragedy of Bear-Bear, the Siberian Husky who was shot and killed on Monday August 2, 2010 in the community of Quail Run - a sub-division of Severn, Maryland. Hearing about a meeting to show support for the family, we felt compelled to attend. After the meeting at the park where Bear-Bear lost his life, we caught up the the Rettaliata's and asked them if they would be willing to talk to us and address some difficult questions about the incident. They agreed - what follows is the story of Bear-Bear and how his life was tragically cut short in an instant.

The officer who killed Bear-Bear was not available for comment.

August 5, 2010
8:00pm

When asked why they brought their dog to the Quail Run Dog park, the Rettaliatas said that prior to moving to the community nearly a year ago, they had lived in an apartment. The allure of the community dog park just made them want to live here even more so. It would enable their dogs could get proper exercise, provide an opportunity to socialize with other dogs, and enjoy themselves in a safe and secure fenced in area. Rachel sadly recounted that “... I think it was Bear-Bear’s favorite place, so I think that’s what is really tragic” about the incident.

While not an “official” Anne Arundel County Dog Park, the Quail Run Dog park is privately owned, and considered a “dog run”. All of the residents who bring their dogs to the park allow their dogs to run off-leash in the run. There is reason for this - - experienced dog owners know that, generally, leashed dogs are more protective and aggressive when approached by other, unrestrained, animals.

Ryan recounted one of many occasions in which there where at least 15 dogs, including Bear-Bear, inside the run, playing, chasing, and having fun with no incidents or issues. He further stated that his neighbor’s small child would regularly run up to Bear-Bear outside of the dog park, jump on him and hug him. After the incident, they were told that no report would be filed by Anne Arundel County Animal Control, as neither of the dogs had received bite wounds, or scratches, and that no humans had been bitten or injured.

Stephen Kurinij, brother to Rachel, was at the park with Bear-Bear at the time of the shooting. Stephen regularly brought Bear-Bear to the park and was a regular at the nightly 6:30pm gathering of dog owners. Stephen told us that he was already in the fenced dog park with an unleashed Bear-Bear when a couple with their leashed German Shepherd approached the dog park. The couple asked if Bear-Bear was friendly, to which Stephen replied that he was, and the couple stated that their dog, Asia, was also friendly and entered the fenced in area, with Asia still on the leash. Stephen was approximately 7 feet away from the couple, and saw Bear-Bear running up to greet the new dog in the enclosure and initiated play. He said that the rough-housing, which was common and expected in Stephen’s experience at the dog part escalated quickly, with both dogs rearing up on their hind legs. Stephen said that he felt the wife panicked as Asia, the couple’s German Shepherd, began tugging her as she held on to the leash.

It was at this point, the man, yelled at Stephen to “go get your dog, break them up”, and as Stephen processed that information, then began to retrieve Bear-Bear, the man took two steps back, drew out a Glock 17 9mm pistol, aimed, and shot Bear-Bear. It was only after the man called 911 that he inform Stephen of his status as an off-duty Federal Police Officer. Stephen refutes the shooter’s claim that the he had tried to break up the “fight” and was subsequently attacked by Bear-Bear prior to the actual shooting.

While it is not uncommon for two parties to dispute the facts of any legal incident - it is important to note that the officers report clearly states that there were no other witnesses to the event. To the knowledge of the Rettaliata’s and their neighbors to whom we spoke - the investigating officers apparently failed to check any of the homes which border on three sides of the park to determine if anyone else had seen the event. However, after only a few short minutes ABC2 News was able to discover an eye-witness who, in a video interview, corroborated Stephen’s side of the story - that the officer did not attempt to break up the dogs before drawing his weapon and firing.

The family later learned from other residents that it was apparently the off-duty officer’s first time at the park. According to other residents it was the officer’s wife who typically brought the shepherd to the park alone, and always on leash, as it seemed skittish - that the off-duty officer, her husband, had not accompanied her in the past.

Once the Anne Arundel County Police and Animal Control arrived, Stephen informed the officers that Bear-Bear was not his dog, and he was instructed by the police to retrieve Bear-Bear’s owner. A member of Animal Control also told Stephen that if the dog wasn’t taken to a vet for treatment, he (Stephen) would be charged with animal cruelty ... as Stephen rushed home to get Ryan, leaving Bear-Bear alone in the run, bleeding, both the police and Animal Control remained outside the fenced in area.

When Ryan arrived and rushed to attend to his wounded pet, an Anne Arundel County Police Officer instructed Ryan to stop. Ryan, visibly upset, insisted several times that he wanted to go to his wounded dog, at which point an Anne Arundel County officer reportedly pulled and pointed a taser at Ryan’s chest and ordered him to stop. Ryan knew that if he was tased, he would not be able to help Bear-Bear, so he complied, at which point the officer lowered the taser and told Ryan to go to his dog, but not to move him.

When Ryan approached Bear-Bear, his dog rolled onto his back as he always did to receive belly scratches, the same officer that pulled the taser yelled to Ryan that he was told not to move his dog. While Animal Control and Ryan moved Bear-Bear onto a stretcher, the County police officers were talking to the now identified Off-duty Federal Officer and his wife and were also petting the German Shepherd.

The family is not sure of what procedures were followed, or not followed in regard to the off-duty officer firing his weapon. Newly passed legislation HR-218 (also known as the “Law Enforcement Officer’s Safety Act”) allows off-duty officers to carry weapons under certain conditions. However, a number of questions remain unanswered:

Under this legislation, are off-duty officers required to identify themselves prior to taking any lethal action?
Are officers who are involved in off-duty shootings required to undergo blood alcohol and drug testing?
Following a such a shooting, is the firearm in question confiscated until the investigation ends?
Wouldn’t it be standard procedure to suspend or place such an officer on suspended leave until the investigation was over?
Whether HR 218 (which specifically states that it does not supersede state laws which prohibit the carrying of off-duty weapons to certain locations including public parks) even applies in this case.
How are citizens who are obviously not allowed to carry weapons into dog parks expected to react in such situations - and why didn’t the off-duty officer respond in that way?

None of these procedures, except for initial inquiries of HR 218, were addressed in the initial “final” report, opened and closed on 8/2/2010 nor the supplemental report of 8/3/2010 - each of which clearly stated that “this case is closed”.

Ryan transported Bear-Bear to the Anne Arundel Veterinary Emergency Clinic, where veterinarians subsequently performed exploratory surgery to determine the severity of Bear-Bear’s wounds. The officer had fired on 9mm HydraShok round into Bear-Bear's abdomen.

A HydraShok is similar to a hollow-point round, except that the tip of the round is sliced during manufacturing so that when it is used - the round not only spreads out to a much wider width than the tip of the round, but actually peals open into a star-like shape, or shatters completely sending fragments through the target’s body. It is designed to inflict maximum damage, and that is exactly what it did to Bear-Bear.

One round from the off-duty officer’s personal weapon resulted in a ruptured colon and kidney, it completely severed the pancreas, and perforated Bear-Bear’s intestines five times. Severe blood loss would require many blood transfusions, and there was doubt that the pancreas could successfully be reconnected.

Some readers to the many articles covering this incident have speculated that the dog could have been saved, but money was an issue:

“... we would have spent more...” Rachel said. “... they did exploratory because they said if they had gone in, there might not be a chance, but if [the] exploratory surgery [revealed] there might be a chance, we would have paid... we would have paid $10,000. I would have never gone back to school, I would have taken a second job, and we would have done all of the physical therapy possible. I could never have lived with myself if we had just said it was too much money.” Ryan added that they just couldn’t go home not knowing they hadn’t given Bear-Bear every chance to survive. “It took a $1.00 bullet to rip all of this away from us.” Ryan added sadly.

With his survival at a minimum, the family was allowed just a few minutes alone with Bear-Bear. A few last moments to convey their love and grief for a dog who’s life started so horribly; whose future looked so bright thanks to a rescue organization and subsequent adoption by two young newlyweds; a life cut short after only 3 years in a split second of what appears to be a senseless act.

At 12:15 A.M on August 3, 2010, Bear-Bear’s suffering ended as the veterinarians put him to sleep, a little more than six hours after the shooting.

Tuesday morning, August 3, 2010, when the couple arrived at the Anne Arundel County Western District Headquarters - they encountered a vacant building and a red phone with poor reception. They just wanted some answers. What was being done? What was their recourse? Could they get a copy of the police report? Were they required to file charges? They found that a police report wouldn’t be available (standard procedure) for 3-4 days, but that the case had already been closed. When they asked to speak to someone in person, they were told that officers at the scene were not on shift, but after insisting on speaking to an officer, one came out to speak with them. He informed them that the case was closed, and that their only other recourse was a civil charge. They were also told that Stephen was evasive during questioning. “I actually have neighbors telling me that when they were watching them talk to Stephen, it looked like they were interrogating him, they weren’t even talking to him like a human being...” Ryan said.

Rachel, and her brother Stephen, come from a law enforcement family. Their Grandfather was a Baltimore City Homicide Detective, and from a young age they were “raised with the utmost respect for police officers, fire fighters, anyone that gives to civil service” according to Rachel. “... but there’s always going to be a bad apple, so this is just about bringing out [the fact] that he can’t hide behind a badge, that he did wrong and its not ok.”

“From what I’ve heard, when he identified himself as a Federal Officer, they absolutely went with the assumption that the HR 218 Act, which allows all Federal officers carry arms across the United States, they thought he fell under that jurisdiction...” Ryan responded when asked why he felt the county closed the case so quickly. “... so they didn’t bother to investigate, because alright, that’s your word, great.” He further feels that this on-the-scene determination ruined their chance to accurately investigate. “They didn’t even know there were witnesses. There were a couple of kids sitting on this green box...” he points to a small green utility box on the edge of the park “... and one kid on a bicycle that a TV station found” who corroborates Stephen’s story. “... it amazed me that how could you not go to these houses and ask if anyone was looking out their window, was anyone in their backyard, no one was walking through?” Rachel stated incredulously. “Yes, Stephen, Bear-Bear and this German Shepherd were alone in this park, but look at it now, there’s people everywhere, driving and walking their dogs.”

Prompted by their parents, Rachel called the news desk at WBAL and the Baltimore Sun. “The Baltimore Sun has been vastly instrumental in getting this whole thing out there” Ryan said thankful for their assistance in spreading the word. Once word spread from the Sun article, the family then appeared on WBAL Radio with C4 and other local media outlets. Word also spread when a post from a member of Tails of the Tundra cross-posted the article on Facebook and ignited a fire of angry dog owners. Two Facebook groups; “Justice for Bear Bear”, and the similarly named “Justice for Bear-Bear” were started. Combined the pages now have thousands of international members, and membership continues to grow daily.

The family is overwhelmed and thankful for all of the support they have received, stating that it gives them the strength to continue.

The public outcry reached the office of John Leopold, Anne Arundel County Executive, - himself a dog owner - on Wednesday morning and he demanded the case be re-opened and thoroughly investigated. Within hours of that announcement, the Anne Arundel County Police Chief released a statement that the investigation was ongoing. The National Humane Society is now working with the Anne Arundel Police Department to investigate the matter. The family reached out to PETA, but their automated voicemail states that they do not become involved in matters of police involved shootings because it is far too common.

Later that evening the Fort Meyer Police Department. where off-duty officer who shot Bear-Bear is employed, issued a press release. In that release the FMPD stated that the officer had been on annual vacation during the incident, and that he had been cleared of any wrong doing by the Anne Arundel County Police Department who had jurisdiction over the incident - and that the officer was returning to work the following day (Thursday).

When asked how this matter would have been handled if the shooter had been a civilian, the family stated they were convinced it would have been handled much differently. “They would have come out and confiscated the weapon, which they did not take his weapon, they probably would have taken him to jail, they probably would have given him a breathalyzer... there were a lot of things that would have been handled differently had it been civilian-based.” said Ryan. “And we probably would have been treated, or at least my brother, as victims rather than someone that needed to be interrogated.” added Rachel

It should be noted that it is unknown whether or not the off-duty officer who shot Bear-Bear was tested for drugs or alcohol, but that a standard checkbox on the police report (which is now publicly available online) indicates there was no drug or alcohol use involved in the incident.

As to readers comments that charge the Rettaliata’s are using this incident as a catalyst for financial gain through a public lawsuit of the officer or his department the family again strongly disagrees. Breaking down into tears, Rachel stated that “... financial gain will never bring Bear-Bear back, no amount of money will ever bring him back to us ... its about claiming responsibility.” They feel strongly that Bear-Bear deserves a fair investigation, the officer needs to face up the split-decision that he made on Monday night - a decision that left a beloved family member dead. They feel that he doesn’t deserve to carry a weapon or be relied upon to serve on a police force, whose purpose is to protect and serve the people.

The community also expressed a lot of concern for their safety with the off-duty officer in the area. Residents were shocked by their new neighbor after the shooting, stating that he and his wife were yelling at them saying things like “what would you do if you dog were attacked” and “you didn’t see anything”. They also state that he was strutting around acting like a hero.

Some residents are now hesitant to come back to the park knowing that the off-duty officer lives in the area. “Its not the place it was anymore, it won’t be for a long time...” Rachel said sadly, “... but it is a safe place, not everyone runs to the dog park with guns on their hips...” Ryan added that the dog park is the community meeting place for dog owners, reminiscing how his dog played joyfully with the other dogs and even children, citing how his neighbor’s 2-year old child “... just runs up to my dog and jumps on his neck and hugs him, so ... bringing him down here was a very safe situation for us, and I would really, it would break my heart if people stopped showing up and that part of the community stopped to exist... that would be a travesty.”

On August 5th, at 6:30 pm under storm darkened skies and rain, local supporters gathered at the Quail Run dog park, an impromptu meeting arranged through one of the Facebook groups. Citizens brought
their dogs, children, flowers, and signs to show their support and condolences for Bear-Bear. Three local law enforcement officers stood at a respectful distance from the gathering. Local media had earlier reported a “police presence” for the event, as it was expected to be a very emotionally charged gathering. Those fears however were ill-formed, participants simply gathered near the fenced in dog run and talked amongst themselves and comforted the Rettaliata family despite the continued rain.

At one point, Ryan strode across the park and shook the hands of each of the three officers - thanking them for coming.

Most of the participants were regular visitors to the many Maryland dog parks,

and discussed how they were prepared to deal with some unruly dogs, possible issues, even fights during their visits, but none could fathom the possibility that an armed person could simply shoot their dog, no matter what the circumstances. Some explained their methods for peacefully breaking up dog fights. How leashed dogs can feel constrained and vulnerable when approached by an unleashed dog and how it was the sometimes written and always unwritten rule of dog park etiquette to immediately remove the leash after entering.

In the rain, as unleashed dogs playfully ran within the confines of the dog run, with their excited yaps, and sometimes growling rough play, Ryan spoke to the crowd and expressed his family's thanks for the outpouring of support and condolences.

A representative from the County Executive's office reiterated Mr. Leopold's promise of a full and thorough investigation of the matter.

At one point, Ryan was asked to identify the shooter. His response was to emphasize that due to high tension and comments made online, he would not release the man's name, adding that we all needed to allow the justice system to run it's proper course. Retaliation against the man or his dog isn't an acceptable option or a solution Ryan stated.

Behind the Rettaliata’s, in the dog run where Bear-Bear had been shot, a dog stopped and sniffed at the spot where Bear spent his final moments in the dog park he loved as the rain slowly came to an end and rainbow appeared in the distance.

More Outpouring of support for Bear-Bear (and a Mutatoe Incident)

2010-08-07T17:58:00.016-04:00

As we wait for the slow wheels of justice to grind, I wanted to share the outpouring of concern and support from the Dog Blogging community. This is just a small example of those who support Bear-Bear:

Indy’s Corner

Khyra’s Khorner

The Thundering Herd

Jan’s Funny Farm

The Magicsleighdogs

Cyber Sibes

Stumpy’s Daily Dose ‘o’ Dirtville

Biloxi’s Blue No More

Holly’s House

Juniorbabee and Orion

Ozzball or Ozzie

I’d post more, but my paw was cramping from all the cutting and pasting.

On a lighter note, the humans have been very distraught over Bear-Bear’s death. They’ve been a bit on edge and sleep deprived, but paying a LOT more attention and lavishing us with goodies because they know even more how precious life is (we dogs keep trying to tell them, but do they listen? NOOOOO!).

Anyhoo, yesterday the human woman was out back with the Mutatoe and from Mutatoe says, he cornered a 4-foot long vicious reptile. He told me that he subdued it, but it escaped and slithered away like the coward it was.

Here is an actual picture of the not so evil Maryland Black Rat Snake:

Here is what actually happened when Mutatoe encountered the Maryland Black Rat Snake:

Luckily, the snake was unable to swallow Mutatoe because of his ample ass.

Keep your eye on the ball (Justice for Bear-Bear)

2010-08-06T10:34:00.001-04:00

Hey everypup, kit, hamsterrier,

My humans had the opportunity to go to the community gathering for Bear-Bear last night at the Quail Run Dog Park. It was stormy, so I opted not to go, as we all know how much I like thunder and lightening (not). From their report, there were a lot of pups and humans there, joined together to honor our fallen Husky (he will receive a posthumous membership in the Husky United Liberation Army - HULA soon). It was also reported in the news that there would be a large police presence as this issue was very emotional. There were three uniformed representatives of the Anne Arundel County Police department in attendance. Calling them a large police presence is a bit... over dramatic I would say, which brings me to my point:

We need to keep our eye on the ball. Although not something a lot of huskies are interested in (you throw the ball, you can go get it yourself), it sounds a lot better than: keep your eye on the fledgling bird, and we all know how that usually turns out, especially if Mutatoe is involved, and that's NOT the point I want to make.

We all get very angry when a breed of dog goes rogue and does something bad and the humans call for a breed ban, and new laws, and blah blah. Placing blame on an entire police force (Anne Arundel County, or DoD Federal Police) is the same thing.

There are MANY good police people out there doing good for humans and dogs, cats, etc., and we can't just lump the actions of one human into the whole of the law enforcement community. Even though the initial investigation was handled... not very well at all, we can't blame the entire police force for that either. The investigation is ongoing, thanks to the wonderful support of pups like you, and it will be done thoroughly, honestly, and completely, and only then can we lay the paw of blame (if any).

We must focus on the human that shot Bear-Bear. He will be investigated and the human justice system will determine what (if anything) happens to him. Whether we agree or not, we must not jump to conclusions (it just wears you out, all of that jumping), we must not pre-judge (because I wouldn't like it if people thought I might be a killer wolf based just on my stunning good looks), and we must continue to insist that justice be served, without being totally obnoxious or evil about it. In Mutatoe's own words: you catch more fledgling birds if you sit there and be patient until they fall into your mouth, or something equally weird like that. The lesson is: we let them know that we are sitting under the nest with our mouths open, its up to them to do the right thing and fly straight out of the yard. Yeah, I know its a strange analogy, but how else do you make sense of what the Mutatoe says?

Meeshka

Justice for Bear-Bear

2010-08-04T20:37:00.002-04:00

Everypup, kitty, hamsterrier... I have something very serious that I want all of you to do.

On Monday, 2 August 2010, in my community, a wonderful husky named Bear-Bear was shot and killed in a local community dog park.

Bear-Bear was adopted from Tails of the Tundra Siberian Husky Rescue, which is where Sam the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup, and Loki came from.

On Monday, while Bear was playing in the fenced in dog park, like he did most nights at the same time, an off duty DoD officer arrived with his wife, and his German Shepherd, Asia, on leash. According to Bear's caretaker, the dogs were playing, when the Officer felt they were playing too rough, demanded the caretaker get Bear, then stepped back, pulled a 9mm handgun and shot Bear.

Anne Arundel County Police and Animal Control arrived and proceeded to stand outside the fenced area questioning the officer and Bear's guardian, while Bear lay on the dirt dying. Witness accounts say that they treated the officer like an old friend, while they held a taser on the guardian and wouldn't let him enter the pen and help Bear. Eventually he was allowed in, Bear was loaded on a stretcher and taken to the Annapolis Emergency Vet. Nothing could be done to save Bear, as the bullet (a hollow point) had pierced several of Bear's internal organs. He was put to sleep.

The Officer stated that Bear had jumped on his dog and bit him, then when the Officer tried to get Bear off his dog, Bear lunged and tried to bite him then bit his dog a second time. Witnesses, who the police did not interview say otherwise. Animal Control did not file a report because they found no bite marks or injuries to either dog, except for Bear's lethal gunshot wound.

County police closed the case and stated that there was no criminal charges.

We need your help! A massive social network movement is underway to get justice for Bear-Bear! We have succeeded in informing the County Executive to re-open this case. We want you to keep the pressure on the county, the county police, and the Federal Officer's workplace. His employer currently states that no charges will be filed and he will be returning to work tomorrow (5 August 2010).

It doesn't matter if you live in Anne Arundel County Maryland, please call and demand justice for Bear:

John Leopold, Anne Arundel County Executive
(410) 222-1821
jleopold@aacounty.org

Anne Arundel County Police Western District
(410) 222-6155
P02438@aacounty.org

Fort Myer Public Relations (Officer's workplace)
(703) 696-0596
Director of Public Affairs
(703) 696-4979

John the facebook support page:
and the Justice for Bear-Bear support page on Facebook

If you would like to contribute to Bear-Bear's medical expenses go to paypal and send your donation to k.rettaliata@gmail.com

Everyone has permission to cross post this blog posting to the world!

I want a raise

2010-08-01T17:50:00.000-04:00

Its food time, and I want food. What do I get? I get this crap:

I mean, good GAH! How much do I have to put up with before I get out the claw!

Meeshka

Sharing

2010-07-24T14:41:00.000-04:00

Its time to revisit the concept of "sharing" again. I'm pretty sure that in past posts I've made it very clear that:

What's mine is mine
What yours is also mine
If you refuse to give me what it is yours, I will take it
Taking things typically involves shedding your blood, so its just easier to hand it to me and don't make me ask for it.

Case in point, the other day, the Mutatoe caught a small woodland creature. Normally he'll catch it, I'll ask for it, he'll give it (because he knows what happens if he doesn't) and I'm happy... but not this time.

Before I could officially ask him for it, the human woman came outside, saw us in conference, yelled at us, grabbed a plastic bag, and started her run out to us. Typically this ends with the Mutatoe spewing the tasty, dead thing out for the human woman (because he's such a suck up mamby pamby momma's boy), and the tasty dead thing gets tossed over the fence.

I didn't know whether to be proud or angry when he chewed and swallowed it. On one hand, there's the defiance of not kowtowing to the human woman and relinquishing the delicacy... but then there's this whole "I didn't get mine" thing. It looked pretty tasty too. Just to be on the safe side, I threw him to the ground and stomped on him, just so he's clear that the procedure should have been: ptooey dead thing toward me so that I can snatch it up and swallow it.

He's useless.

Meeshka

Shameless Plug

2010-07-18T16:35:00.001-04:00

Ok, I had such a large response to my non-trip the other day, that I bring to you:

Get yours here, while the supplies last!

Meeshka

Pupdate

2010-07-17T18:54:00.001-04:00

I will refrain from complaining about this horrendous heat here in Merryland... ITS HOT!!! The human woman says that its payback from all of the lovely floofy snow we had this winter when I had my very own Mt. Queen Meeshka snow pile. PFFFT I tell her, then I claw her.

On top of the heat, we've had HORRIBLY LOUD thunderstorms, mainly at night. I've had to claw the human woman out of bed a few nights in the row. She's been curling up downstairs on the couch, but no matter how much I claw, the human man refuses to come downstairs with us. I did manage to claw him down last night, but he just put the gate up and went back to bed. I need to revise my strategy for next time.

So... after putting the stinky cooling bed in MY spot of the bedroom right next to MY air conditioner vent, the human woman FINALLY got the hint that I wasn't going to lay on it and FINALLY moved the stupid thing. She put it out of the way somewhere so they wouldn't step on it... and... well...

It is pretty comfy and cool, and situated nicely right by my spare air conditioner vent so a can stretch out my feety feet to keep them nice and cool. The human woman caught me, then started making a high pitched keening noise. I'm never sure what that's suppose to mean but if she keeps pulling her hair out in clumps, she's going to look sillier than she already does.

So, this week I kept hearing the humans mentioning something about "going" somewhere. I knew that they were planning on taking me to the Dogs With Blogs trip in New York City (where they make salsa) where I could finally meet Brooke and Greg and get to sniff all of the good pee mail that Benson and Opy had sent me. I also had a message from the Mutatoe and the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam for the humans on the loss of their sweet Charlie.

So, on Friday, when the humans started spelling things like LEASH, and CAR, I knew it was time to go. I got myself all floofy and sharpened my dainty little feety feet claws for my formal greeting, and pranced around all happy.

Like clockwork, the harness came out, the leash came out, I got to go out and HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL ITS HOT OUT THERE!!! The front yard seems waaaay much hotter than the back yard, and of all things, my private chauffeur didn't even cool the interior of the personal Queenly RAV vehicle for me! I really need to find better help.

Off we went to New York... except we started heading in a more sourthernly and westernly direction than where New York is located and ....

SONOFA....

I was at the VET! I was FURIOUS! No cavier, no 4-star hotel, no room service? No massage, no champagne, and certainly no fun with the Dogs with Blogs gang.

On top of getting pulled and poked and prodded and jabbed with needles... THEY TRIMMED MY SHARP TALONS!!!! There was nothing I could do, I was simply overwhelmed and they even put a muzzle on me... ON ME!!!!

Oh the woomanity!

Once I was done, I had to poo from all of the trauma AND THEY STOLE THAT FROM ME TOO!!!

Back in the hot Queenly RAV again and THIS time I was sure we were off to New York, the lights, the sounds, the broadway shows... I just needed all of my shots and stuff for travel across state lines, I was sure of it.

Until we pulled up at the house again. Seriously? That's it?

So, to all of the wonderful Dogs with Blogs humans and pups that made it to New York... sorry I couldn't be there. My humans are so lame.

Meeshka
(Cultivating more sharp nails)

Odds and Ends that aren't really odd, nor the end

2010-07-16T11:22:00.000-04:00

Woo everypup, Its me.

Yes, yes, I know, long time no woo again, but seriously, the heat has kept me on the air vent, so I just oozed off to let everypup know of the fantastic article on Turbo!

Go here and get the links, its very cool... but not as cool as my air vent, which I'm running back to now.

Meeshka

Another Product you won't see from Meeshko

2010-07-11T13:24:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you've all seen that annoying commercial where humans buy some stupid product called "Bark Off". (hint for humans: how many times will you get screwed over buying something from the tv when you can wait and get it at most drugstores only to find its a piece of doo doo?... just asking).

The premise is that a human gets a dog, but doesn't like its barking. This is sorta like a human having a baby and not liking its non-stop screaming... don't see any ads for "Baby Off" do you? Nooooo.

My human woman muttered something about getting one for the constant Mutatoe yapping. Despite being a husky (the jury is really still out on that actually) he's got the MOST ANNOYING girly scream yap when he:
1.) wants something
2.) wants to be taken out
3.) can't find the human woman
4.) just because

Frankly, I'd dig into my savings account to make that racket stop, especially when he's doing it, and pawing at me with the spongy mutatoe claw to get me to chase him. Oh yeah, there's gonna be chasing, but I can guarantee you it won't be fun.

Anyhoo, the problem with the human woman getting one of these is that, well, they're stupid and a waste of money that should be used to buy me more cookies.

I think I did convince her not to get the stupid thing, except she said that she had an even better invention that should would be. Something called the Meeshk-off.

I have no idea what she means by this.

Meeshka

The Proper Way to Wake the Human Woman

2010-07-02T16:16:00.000-04:00

The Human Woman is getting lazier and lazier lately. She hasn't been getting out of bed promptly at 5am to feed us breakfast. No amount of wooing or clawing seems to work any more.

The Mutatoe came up with a sure-fire way though:

You should have seen her move.

Meeshka

The Leash

2010-06-27T16:02:00.000-04:00

This morning the Mutatoe got the 2nd of the 3 fledglings in the deck nest. The human woman has decided that at least one of the tasty snacks has to make it out of the nest, so she's getting the collar and leash out and only taking us out hooked up to her. This is ridiculous.

First of all, she has no idea where my favorite pee spots are, and she keeps trying to lead me over to where the Mutatoe pee spots are... euw, not going there.

Secondly, if the leash comes out, that means going someplace fun, and the back yard is not fun, especially on a leash where we can't chase little fragile squeeky birds that can't fly.

I am NOT amused.

Another Brilliant Idea

2010-06-25T15:49:00.000-04:00

Yeah, Yeah, I know, its been a while since I've blogged. I've had plenty of ideas to share with all of my many fans, but you know what I have to deal with.

Every time I've clawed her to let her know its my turn on the computer, or the iPhone, or the iPad, she just pushes me away, or bribes me with a cookie. I don't tolerate the pushing, but I'll take a cookie any time. Frankly it got to the point where I was bugging her to blog just to get a bunch of cookies and I was so full from getting so many cookies that I didn't feel like blogging anymore. Hmmm, perhaps the human woman isn't as stupid as I thought.

Anyhoo, the latest greatest brilliant idea she's had was to get me a cooling bed. Its something called the Canine Cooler. Its some handy dandy squishy bed that's suppose to keep my nice and cool in the house. Um, that's why air vents were put in floors, but hey, whatever.

The only problem with this thing is that at first it smelled really bad... like new plastic. Overwhelmingly icky new plastic. The human woman tried a few things to make the smell go away, like spray Febreze on it, but that just made it smell like plastic flowers. Then she tried covering it up, but that defeated the whole cooling soothing purpose, so then she decided that the only thing she could do was to rub the Mutatoe all over it. That took out some of the stink, but then it smelled like Mutatoe and who wants to lay on that?

It also feels strange, its all squishy and weird feeling under my feet, so I wasn't too crazy about it. At first I just put my delicate little front feety feet on it, and yes, it was cool and soothing. Then I lay my head on it, but that's where I draw the line! I'm not going any further.

The human woman tried several ways to entice me on the thing:
1.) pushing me onto it. I merely walked over it and jumped on the bed.
2.) pulling me onto it. I merely knocked over the human woman and jumped on the bed.
3.) telling me that I wasn't allowed on it. While a brilliant stroke of reverse psychology, I didn't fall for it.
4.) Telling me that if I didn't like it, I'd give it to the Mutatoe. Mutatoe laughed and said he didn't even want it.
5.) this:

That didn't work either, I mean really... now it smells like human woman and who wants to lay on that!

Fledgling Season

2010-06-11T15:30:00.000-04:00

Although I prefer grub season (small tasty bits in the ground, you just snoofle their location, dig them up, and enjoy), the Mutatoe likes fledgling season. For me, its just too much work for so little reward.

Chase the squeaking thing, catch the squeaking thing, squish the squeaking thing, listen to the human woman scream, give the non-squeaking thing to the human woman who throws it over the fence, and that's it. No tasty reward for all of that hard work.

This season its been Mutatoe 4, fledgling birds 0. You'd think they'd learn by now.

I'm Not Moving

2010-06-06T11:45:00.002-04:00

I'm pretty sure that I can hold my pee until winter, cuz there's no way I'm leaving this air vent and going outside in 90 degree weather.

I Want Food NOW!

2010-05-22T16:43:00.000-04:00

Now to show my disgust over having to wait for dinner, I'll fling a Kong throughout the house and complain.

I kill a (fake) squirrel

2010-05-17T16:57:00.000-04:00

That'll show them!

Fur Trafficking

2010-05-09T18:05:00.000-04:00

I have been inundated with e-mails about the latest "thing" to help soak up all of the oil that's leaking out of some burned down platform in the south.

Apparently stupid humans blew up a stupid oil rig and now oil is leaking out of the bottom of the ocean and threatening to pollute a whole bunch of land. In case you weren't aware... we all live above oil. It leaks out all the time, seriously. Even this "green" know-it-all page says so, but they seem to act as though it would all stop if we didn't use oil, um, no probably a whole heck of a lot more oil would leak out if we were sucking it up and using it, but hey, whatever. If you want to find out just how much oil seeps from the ocean, go check out this all scientificky page and learn (among other things) that "Santa Barbara seeps, for example emit 5,280 to 6,600 gallons (nearly 20 to 25 tons) of oil per day, and natural seeps have been active for hundreds to thousands of years".

Fine, the one in the south is pretty dramatic (because it was a man-made thing, not a natural thing, much like humans freak out about their car exhaust causing global warming, but a volcano spewing more noxious fumes than any humans could produce in a zillion years DOESN'T contribute to global warming) and therefore, if its a man-caused disaster (not to be confused with man-caused disasters that blow up innocent women and children) then man has to fix it... and therefore they are stealing our furs.

Someone has figured out that furry creatures (seals, birds, polar bears, Ron Jeremy, etc.) simply attract oils. They are forever cleaning us off with Dawn dishwashing liquid (gratuitous plug there, thanks in advance for the cases of freebies you'll be sending me), and sending us back into the wilds... only to become covered in oil from some natural seepage, but screw us them, that's nature.

Putting 2 + 2 together, the humans have figured out that if they take animal and human furs, they can stuff all that fur in a nylon and sop up the oil. BRILLIANT... except for that part where they try to figure out what to do with tons and tons of oil soaked furs in nylons without harming the fragile eco-structure... like... burning it in cars or or something. I would imagine that the smell is something to behold. Imagine wet dog smell... now imagine wet oily dog smell. How about tons and tons of wet oily dog smell after weeks in hot sun. Glorious!

So, since humans are so incredibly stupid, I will give them the answer they need to produce a very cheap, "green", reusable, earth friendly way to sop up the oil:

Squirrels.

Tie a rope around a squirrel, dip it into the oily water so its furs will suck up the oil. Bathe squirrel in dawn dishwasing liquid (its gently on your hands, not the grime), throw squirrel back into oil.

See how easy that is?

In the meantime, leave my furs alone, I'm using them to entice birds to build nests from my furs nearby so that during fledgling season, there are plenty of quick squeeky toy tasty treats falling from the sky.

Meeshka

Storm Season

2010-04-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

Just Once

2010-04-25T13:02:00.000-04:00

I'll go and get the stupid thing ONCE, and that's it, don't expect anything more, and stop using that stupid squeeky voice!

A Very Special (Blossom) Post

2010-04-18T15:21:00.001-04:00

I’m allowing my human woman to post on my blog for the very first time.

Yes, I know, I know, she’ll want to do it all the time, but for this article, I felt it was the right thing to do, as it is a realistic (from a human perspective) way to clip our nails. I’ll reserve my comments for later, but for now, here is her advice (you can laugh at her if you want).

Clipping Toe Nails

The Realistic Method

I’m sure you’ve done a Google search already and have found a myriad of instructional pages (some with pictures) on the finer points of trimming dog nails. You’ve looked through the information, learned about the “quick”, the different tools associated with trimming nails, and looked at the pictures of people trimming dog toenails... and I’m sure you’ve laughed hysterically and perhaps with a bit of frustration.

Oh sure, its a piece of cake when the dog just lays or sits there, hands you a paw and allows you to snip away at each claw, but what are you suppose to do when you own a husky who flees at the mere sight of nail clippers, stuffs themselves into the smallest crevice and lays on its feet to keep the evil clippers from touching them, and then shrieks and screams as if being tortured the moment the clipper comes remotely close to their paw. Yeah, where are those instructions???

Nail Clipping “Myths”

Ok, not truly “Myths” but these helpful tips are handed out to dog owners as gospel and if they don’t work, then there’s certainly something dysfunctional with the owner. Well, I’m here to tell you that I call them “Myths” because not everything is foolproof when it comes to huskies, not everything is going to work in your case, and it also doesn’t mean that you have a dysfunctional dog or are a dysfunctional owner. Most of these tips come from people who don’t have problems clipping their dogs nails. They tell you these things and then look at you as though you’ve sprouted another eye in your forehead when you tell them it doesn’t work. Go ahead and try these, but if they don’t work, don’t consider you or your husky a failure.

Play With Their Feet

Oh yeah, this is handy advice when a person gets a puppy, but what about those who adopt an older dog, or who don’t have the luxury to play with their feet because their nails are dangerously long? For those of you giving out the “Play with their feet” advice to someone that says “I need to clip my dog’s nails”, please smack yourself in the head.

Playing with their feet, in the long run, will get the dog use to having its feet touched and played with, and that’s a good thing, but when you introduce the nail clipper to the equation, expect full tilt panic and screaming... of the husky, but sometimes I’ve heard stories of owners having nervous breakdowns around nail clipping time.

Put Them On Something

Most groomers insist that putting a dog up on a table, a slippery table is better, will keep the dog off balance to a point where you can do most anything you want with them. If you are an experienced husky owner, please take a moment to laugh hysterically at this statement.

While it is true that most dogs will feel a bit more vulnerable and can be better managed on a table, a husky owner needs to be aware that clawing and leaping from the table is a good possibility. Shrieking, clawing and leaping is a better possibility, and shrieking, clawing, leaping, taking out table and plowing down owner is the best possibility. If you’ve never put your husky on a table, you should always have a spotter or two available to keep everyone from hurting each other. You may want to have a spotter located away from the table with a pre-dialed cell phone to 9-1-1.

Distract Them

Some will advise that you provide them with a distraction. While they are busy chewing, licking, or doing whatever to the distraction device, you clip their toe nails. Ok, while this may work for one nail (if you are lucky) most likely what will happen is that they will fall for the first clip, then realize you are up to something they don’t want to have happen and will ignore the “distraction” until you have given up in frustration.

Have Someone Hold Them While You Clip

This technique is only good for people who have friends that haven’t heard the horror stories of fur, shrieking, clawing and other husky-like behavior and actually can’t come up with a semi-valid sounding excuse when you corner them for help. Holding a husky still when a husky doesn’t want to be held still is just asking for a visit to the emergency room (if anything for the ruptured ear drums from the shrieking) and loss of close friends.

The Methods That Work

So you’ve read through the informational Web sites and know what the quick is, you’ve seen the two types of nail clippers that are commercially available, you are stocked up on styptic pens, dog treats, some valium (for you), and you are ready to clip your husky’s nails. Here are some methods that actually do work.

Groomer

Ok, its the coward’s way out, but hey, it is the easiest way out. Drag them to a groomer and have their nails clipped. The groomer not only has all of the instruments of nail clipping, but is also probably experienced with dogs that don’t like their nails clipped and have devious ways of dealing with it. If you can afford the expense, drag their fluffy little butts over to the groomer and you don’t have to deal with it.

Bribery

We all know that the husky is the “what’s in it for me” dog. Want them to come in... make it worth their while, want them to sit still while you clip their nails... bribe them. Typically the bribery method is a two person effort. One person to do the clipping while the other entices the husky to ignore the nail clipper wielding one with a tasty treat. There will still be pulling and wrestling and a general disagreement over when a nail can be clipped but the bribery aspect makes it a much more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

If you don’t have a conspirator to hold the bribe treat, then you can try slathering peanut butter on a kitchen cabinet. Husky licks off peanut butter while you clip nails. Work fast and efficiently, as a husky can lick peanut butter off a cabinet in record time. This method also ensures nice clean cabinets.

Sneak Attack

There’s nothing shameful about sneaking up on a sleeping husky and snipping off a nail when they aren’t expecting it. There’s nothing in the rules of nail clipping that all 16 (more if there are dew claws involved) have to be clipped at the same time. The only problem with this method is that they’ll never trust you ever again and you will most likely suffer their wrath while you try to sleep, as they can be very spiteful.

Woo-less Wednesday - Sharing

2010-04-07T20:15:00.002-04:00

(Hey Human Woman - there's this thing called a washing machine... just sayin)

Sunday, Sunday

2010-04-04T17:32:00.002-04:00

Watched the human woman lift heavy things, paint other things (there are now white mutatoe prints in the back room), and generally spend her weekend running around like a scalded marmoset.

THIS is how you spend a weekend (and weekday actually)
In the words of Turbo: Stupid humans.
Now I'll have to lay and listen to her complain all week about how she's tired and needs another weekend.

Woo-less Wednesday - Special Dork Edition

2010-03-31T19:46:00.003-04:00

Don't ask me, cuz I got nothing

- Meeshka

Virtually Woo-less Wednesday

2010-03-24T19:58:00.002-04:00

A Moment of Silence Please

2010-03-14T16:36:00.004-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much. On top of the human woman hogging the computer to post for Kara's human woman, I've been mourning the loss of a very special friend.

I didn't know you long, but you held me up and were there for me when I needed you. I will miss you, and hope to see you again in a few months.

Until then... run free Mt. Queen Meeshka... wherever you are

In The News

2010-03-06T20:15:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is the official start of the 2010 Iditarod.

Since there is nothing but a dirty bump of crusty ice left where Mt. Queen Meeshka use to be, I'm choosing the spend my Iditarod time rooting for the Pretty Sled Dogs in my dreams. I'm sure Kara on her cloud would approve of my tribute to the last great race.

Check here for any musher and Pretty Sled Dog updates.