Monday, July 18, 2005

The Zen of Siberian Husky

There are probably a lot of you that have no idea what it takes to be a Siberian Husky. I'm sure a lot of you can't help but admire my beauty, my stunning figure, and my cool exterior and want one of your very own.

YOU ARE A FOOL!

Here are the (until updated) 11 principles in the Zen of Siberian Husky

1.) We aren't blue eyed lemmings that do whatever you want us to.

2.) We're incredibly intelligent, and if you leave something within our reach that we want, we shall have it, and we shall destroy it, no matter what it is.

3.) Do we shed? Are you freakin kidding me? We have two coats of fur, we're a literal fur throwing machine.

4.) Want to walk me on the beach without a leash? Sure, you'll see my tail end as I beat it anywhere but where you are, and no amount of pathetic calling will bring me back. I'm a HUSKY, I PULL SLEDS AND RUN FOR A LIVING, are you kidding me, walk? And do you actually think you can catch me? You are very pathetic!

5.) Got a nice yard... give me 10 minutes and you won't. Who needs plants and grass when you can have these lovely deep holes.

6.) Think you can train me to behave? RIIIIIGHT, don't even try. I'll have you locking food up in the microwave for safety, picking hair out of your food with no complaints, curling up into a ball so I can have most of the bed, and bowing to MY schedule.

7.) Fetch? FETCH? Yeah, go get it yourself, and if you wanted it that bad, why did you throw it?

8.) Furniture is made to riccochet on, if you happen to be sitting on it while I bounce off the couch at 90 MPH, perhaps you'll learn not to sit there next time I want to run.

9.) Left a door open? I'm gone, see ya, not coming back.

10.) If you put a fence up, it's just a logical thing to dig under it, or climb over it. I'm a busy husky with places to go, things to see.

11.) Cats and small animals? Yes please, with some gravy if you would be so kind.

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