Sunday, May 15, 2022

I Want a Change in Management

 Once again I sit down to blog and all I have left are pictures Bleeder has taken through the week and has already posted to Facebook. If she's feeling like it, she MAY post to Instagram, but usually repeats the caption.

Not only that, but she posts videos of my squirrel stalking, but she never seems to have the camera ready during those times where I've nearly captured the furry little vermin, so she's making me look inept and slow. It's a METHOD! I know what I'm doing!!


I need better social media curators. I try to give her tips and tricks, but does she listen? NOPE. I also try to give her fashion tips for work but does she listen there? HECKIN NOPE!

White clogs... there's something you don't see ANYWHERE

The only thing she could influence are lazier people than she is. I swear, her wardrobe consists of the 4 same things worn over and over in various different configurations. No matter what I tell her, she insists on wearing mismatched clothes because her method of wardrobe picking is "what's next on the hangers" and who cares if it matches. Green pants? She has green pants. Nothing goes with green pants (that she owns) so why on earth does she own a pair of green pants? More importantly, why does she wear them? Even more importantly, she owns a pair of green shoes. She feels that a brown t-shirt, green pants and green shoes are an outfit. It's not an outfit, it's a travesty.

The green pants again? What a surprise

Also, it is Sunday and there has NOT been any pancakes. NONE! No pancakes, no toast, no nothing. I got kibble. Just kibble. Sure there was a sprinkle of cheese, but it's like prison rations here.

The one shining beacon of the week has been that Bleeder has FINALLY washed my favorite blanket. This is my puppy blanket and sometimes I use it to soak up some gravy food I get, and then I suck on it. Don't judge me! It's comforting. My blanket has been sitting downstairs in the laundry room for a full two weeks waiting for Bleeder to bring it upstairs.

Bout time Bleeder

As a compromise, we've placed it on my spot of the bed so I can sleep on it, scrunch it up and use it as a pillow, or suck on it when I want. 

It finally stopped raining and I was able to go out and survey my kingdom from the comfort of the deck.


There are a lot of squirrels, birds, and other woodland creatures trying to break into my yard and I must be on constant look-out.  I'm also happy that today is Sunday and time for Bleeder to swap into clean sleepy pants because if she doesn't, Imma gonna be rolling on these cuz they're like a dead thing.

Sunday, May 08, 2022

Who Will Stop the Rain?

 I've had it with this rain.

I don't like rain.

The rain gets into my ears and that's not convenient. Plus I have to be toweled off and that's no fun, although I do get a lot of treats during that procedure, so I tolerate it.

I haven't had any time to go chase the stupid squirrels and the other day I nearly caught one.  It decided to play ring around the tree and I was a bit faster than it anticipated. 

The neighbor yappy dogs haven't been out because of the rain, which means I can't run the fenceline, get them riled up, then sit in the middle of the yard and wait for their owners to come out and yell at them to shut up. When they shut up, I wait for the neighbor to go back inside and start all over again. It's great fun until the yappy dogs are told to "go inside".

The ONLY good thing about the rain and wind are the large sticks that fall. It's a bountiful crop of large sticks that I bring inside, tear apart, then trade up for cheese, then Bleeder gets the Dyson hand held out, which means she cleans the floor of stick parts, then she stands in one place while I dash back and forth and pretends to attack me with it while I skitter back and forth. Great fun.

So, during the forever rain, there was a lot of this:

Look, Bleeder, I got nothing to do, and you watch me poo, so this only seems fair

No, I don't want to chase the crinkle tube again in the house, I want to go out, make it stop raining

What do you mean I can't lay on the clean clothes after digging a mud hole?

Look, I enjoy a challenge, but cramming cheese into this thing is a bit ridiculous

I'm SOOOOOO BORRRRRRRED!

What do you mean all of the cinnamon rolls are gone? I only had two bites you pig!

THANKFULLY it has stopped raining FINALLY! The squirrels are out foraging, there's sticks to be chewed, and muddy holes to dig again! 

Saturday, April 30, 2022

Laundry Cookie

 I'm a working breed, but I don't for free you know.

So each Friday, Bleeder announces "laundry time", pulls the bag of glorious, perfectly fine stinky clothes (that don't match) and together we go downstairs and then she dumps the bag into the washer (she does NOT separate anything), tosses soapy stuff in the little drawer, and turns it on. 

Meanwhile, it is my duty to sniff around, find things I'm not supposed to sniff, or eat and get glared at and told "NO". Then I go into the music room and sniff, or try to eat things I'm not supposed to sniff or eat (I see you tasty Fender Bass), and get told "NO" again. Once we get past that routine, I run upstairs and wait patiently for slow Bleeder to get up there, then I demand payment for my work in the form of a laundry cookie.

It's actually a "Blue Dog Bakery" cookie (just get the 3lb size). Tasty. She also breaks them up and stuffs them in my little balls to keep me occupied when I'm being too... oh, what's the phrase she uses... "Pain in the butt". 

I don't mind Laundry Duty, as my responsibilities are very minimal, but the rewards are great. Plus I get a change of scenery by going downstairs and sniffing things.

When the laundry is all done, that's where the real work comes in. Apparently the clothes need to be hung up, or folded.

As Bleeder is lazy and just can't be bothered with details, she typically leaves the clean clothes shoved in a basket downstairs over night, curses as she brings them up, and then dumps the basket on the bed to sort, and fold/hang.

This is where my hard work comes in... as I am required to lay on these clothes. Yep, you heard that right. REQUIRED. It seems that the warmth of my body will help iron out the wrinkles from the clothes sitting in a basket overnight. Plus, the clothes are clean, therefore I must deposit my furs on them again. I simply cannot have my humans walking around without furs.

Give me another 5 minutes, this shirt is really wrinkly

Ya know, perhaps if you hung like colors together, you wouldn't look like a dork

After the laundry is all folded and crammed into drawers, we go out and play.

Well, you gonna come take this? Wheel of Doom doesn't throw itself.

Then I'll have my lunch.

Please tell the chef that I really like the pizza cheese better than the cheddar

Then it's onto the deck for some serious judging.

You just did laundry, those sleepy pants are getting so gamey I may roll on them

I got brushed today. I don't mind. I lay there and Bleeder feeds me little training treats while she steals my floof. It feels really nice and I'd lay there for nithing, but don't tell her that, I also want the treats.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting treats for getting dried off.

Sunday, April 24, 2022

What's Happening

 Hey everyone,

It's been the usual around here, I mean other than I was driven to the vet for my annual shots and the technicians RIPPED my precious claws off. Fine, they just trimmed them, but it was traumatic. I didn't feel it necessary to scream bloody murder though. The technicians are nice and give me treats.

Here I am a year ago waiting for my appointment

'Scuse me, am I next? I have places to be

Here I was the other day

Ahem, Can we hurry this up? I have places to be

You can see, I've grown a bit, and I'm floofier. Why two leashes? Well I have a collar leash and a harness leash because my owners are feeble and need some form of braking system to keep me from dragging them into a busy highway.

Now that the weather is getting nicer, I spend my time gutting my favorite ball on the deck.


It's getting just perfect, but Bleeder insisted on getting me two others that are fun for chasing, but when it comes to a good rage chew, you can't beat the gutted ball.


Toast had to put on his pants the other day and leave all day. I do not like this. 

Toast! I know you're putting pants on, STOP THAT!

Although I'm fine in my crate, I do demand some looking out the window time, and some lounging on the deck snooping on the neighbors time, and then undivided attention time, and throw this ball for me time, so this better be a one time thing (I'm told it is not, and will be more frequent).

Hey, I just realized that you have probably been sitting at your computer, or staring at your phone on the toilet (like Bleeder does, and frankly nobody needs that much time to poop) so you need to get up and get a GOOD STRETCH in... ready...


That's better. Now where was I?

Tip of the day: get your human to put a pillow on their lap and then lounge on them. Make sure you shove your front feet into their chest forcefully. They really like that. Very comfy.


Make sure the pupparazzi isn't lurking during your private Toast time... yell at them.


Yesterday was very nice, so Toast and Bleeder came out to sit on the deck with me, watch the stupid squirrels, judge the yappy neighbor dogs, swat at random BEES DON'T EAT THE BEES, and relax.


It was very peaceful and relaxing.


Until Bleeder discovered something.


She started stealing my floof. MY FLOOF! Something about "plucking season". I cultivated that floof for a reason and now she's just randomly pulling my tufts out.

She also mentioned something about "combing", and I'm sure blood will flow.



Saturday, April 16, 2022

Wayback Machine - The Wedding

 Well everyone, Bleeder suggested that since my predecessors lived in a time before the interwebs, that I spend some time learning about them and giving them some space on the blog. I'm all about sharing, just as long as I get some cheese in trade, so... FINE!

Remember, this all happened 34 years ago (that's 238 in dog years), so Bleeder's recollection may be a bit... foggy.

Bleeder and Toast were dating and talking of marriage. Toast was a United States Marine, and Bleeder had recently been honorably discharged from the United States Air Force, (and how they met is another bizarre story for another time) and got a cozy ground floor 1 bedroom apartment, and as a wedding gift to Toast, an adorable Siberian Husky named Nikki.


All they wanted was a quick civil ceremony with a reception of close friends, but there was a bit of an issue with setting a date for the wedding.

  1. Toast's parents wanted to fly across the states from the West Coast to attend the wedding. We told them we would let them know a date. Bleeder's parents were all "well, just let us know, or not, whatever".
  2. The USMC was undergoing an Inspector General (IG) inspection and didn't want any more paperwork to deal with, so they politely asked (ordered) him not to get married until after the IG inspection was completed.
Another detail was, if we didn't get married by the 15th, we couldn't file the paperwork and not get the Basic Allowance for Quarters (BAQ) which would pay the rent. So people always ask "why did they pick the 14th of April?" Well, they didn't, that just happens to be the day the IG inspection completed. So around 2pm it was done, so there was rushing around to get dressed up, gathering of witnesses and a hurried dash to the Annapolis courthouse before it closed to officially file the paperwork they had already pre-filed.

Bleeder grabbed the only dress she owned, Toast got into all his USMC finery and off they went, thankfully before closing time. They sauntered through the court house through the line of convicts in hand cuffs, and had to wait for the couple dressed in leather, and then it was their turn.


They both laughed at the "for richer or poorer" part because how much poorer could they get? About the only thing they had in the fridge was some hamburger, an onion, and some condiments.

Then it was a quick stop at the liquor store to pick up a keg (because Bleeder and Toast are all about swanky) and back to the apartment to prepare for the guests. The guests pretty much consisted of a LOT of Marines ready to celebrate the end of the IG inspection... oh, and that wedding thing, and a few USAF friends.

Nikki had a ball with all of her new friends, but the party was nearly de-railed when it was announced that something was wrong with the keg. People kept having to pump it, and they thought the hose had a leak or something, but then they noticed that once it got pumped up, a certain devious husky would walk up to it, nuzzle the dispenser, and drink the beer that came out. By this time she was sloppy drunk, dancing with a lamp shade on her head, and telling everyone that she loved them.

While they were dealing with drunk puppy, the phone rang and a high ranking Marine answered the phone, said "he can't come to the phone right now, he just F'ng got married" and hung up. Remember Issue #1 above? 

Yep, Toast's mother had called... before Toast could call her back, the phone rang again and the high ranking Marine yelled "STFU his mother's on the phone" for ALL to hear... including Toast's mother... so that's how they found out about our marriage (off to a great start there). So there was THAT conversation.

Meanwhile the guests were passing around the onion to take a bite of, and Bleeder and Toast have no idea what happened to the hamburger and condiments. Despite their attempts to keep the Nikki lush away from drinks, she soon found that if she looked adorable, the guests would put their cups on the floor to pet her and... when they found her staggering around looking for her car keys proclaiming she was fine to drive, they put her in her crate to sleep it off.

The party went on through the night, only one neighbor came to complain about the noise but when faced with an apartment filled with Marines, they congratulated the happy couple and left.

The next morning Nikki walked around sullenly wearing sunglasses, and begging Toast and Bleeder to "keep it down". By noon she was back to her crazy self.

She still loved a good beer now and then, but only in moderation.










Sunday, April 03, 2022

What's in a Name

 Toast and Bleeder had a small list of names for me before they met me. After they met me, they didn't feel like any of them fit, so it was on a bathroom break at a Walmart on their drive home that they came up with Casey, and that's what I'm called (thankfully I'm not named Walmart)... except I'm never actually called Casey unless they are introducing me to someone. "This is Casey". 

At home during my formative year I've been called:

Get out of there

No

STOP THAT

NONONONO ABSOLUTELY NOT

DROPIT

what is in your mouth

get out of the sink

don't eat that

that's not yours

SERIOUSLY?SERIOUSLY?

and my personal favorite: I JUST let you out!

Now that I've matured into a regal, perfectly behaved Siberian Husky... I'm still called all of those things, but now I have some new, more adult names.

Princess Squishy Face. This name came about because my predecessor, Loki, would have a temper tantrum and require Toast or Bleeder to stroke his cheeks (a maneuver known as "sleepy cheeks") to calm him down. I don't like "sleepy cheeks". What I do like is to have my forehead smooshed along with a front of ear scratchy motion. Oh yeah, that's the thing. I can sit there all day for squishy face.

Stompy Dog. Hey, I can't help it if Toast and Bleeder are heavy sleepers, and when a pup has to go out, they gotta go out, even at 0330. So..

If they still won't get up, then a well placed tongue in their ear canal usually propels them out of bed quickly. If THAT doesn't work, I just jump off the bed and give them a 5 count to leap out of bed and let me out because I told you I had to go out, and I've proven that when I gotta go, I'm gonna go, house training be damned, my bladder is only so large.

I'm also quite stompy on the couch because if I want to be where you are sitting, then I'm gonna sit there, and that seems to be when I cause the most band-aids for Bleeder. Something about my sharp talons and her old ginger skin. I looked it up, and apparently it's called "senile purpura", which either means she's old and it's not my fault, or it is caused by old cats, and once again: not my fault. To be honest, she can cut and bruise herself doing the most mundane daily tasks, so I'm just being used to cover for her abject clumsiness.

This week, I'm told, I will be transitioning to big girl food. They've given me a tiny bit of it already to try out and I'm not too sure about it. The kibbles are bigger, which require chewing. I don't know if I can commit to that kind of inconvenience, so we'll see how that works out.

Meanwhile, it is Sunday, which means

You'd better turn those pancakes Toast

Don't listen to Bleeder, you can feed me while you eat, not make me wait until the end.

Casey
 

Sunday, March 27, 2022

Greasy Puppy

 First of all, I resent that title, but that's what I'm called lately, all because Toast neglected to put the grease cup far enough back on the counter, and what's a husky to do but sample the tasty greasiness it contains.

This may explain my recent gastro-intestinal looseness, which has cleared up already, but you'd think they would be happy... nope, they're never happy.

It's been rather boring for me lately. Not boring for Toast and Bleeder, who are now dealing with some form of a leak from their fridge into the downstairs. I have an alibi, and I'm not even allowed down there unless I'm escorted by Bleeder for laundry duty (for which I receive a cookie for being good and not falling down the sump hole, or stuffing myself behind the water heater, or licking the heat pump thing, or getting into the fabric softener sheets, or digging in the trash, or jumping over the laundry baskets to get to all of those tasty things, or snorfling the tools, or grabbing a socklet and dashing upstairs.) All of this may or may not have happened at one time or another.

Anyways, there was yelling and banging, and then a rug magically appeared hanging on the outside railing and I had to sniff that... lots of sniffs. Lots of other dog sniffs.  I enjoyed all of the other dog sniff memories.

I've been keeping an eye on the neighborhood.

Get off my lawn
I discovered fireworks, and although it happened right when I was squatting for a poo and I was startled, I sat and waited for more to go off as they were pretty. Bleeder says the people setting them off are ... words that I can't repeat.

I asked to go out, then in, then out, then in, then out... which I'm contractually bound to do.


I discovered peanuts, in that I saw Toast eating them, and wanted them, but I was not allowed to have them unless they are crushed and shoved into my kong in the form of a butter substance.


When I eat all of the goodies out of my bowl and leave the kibble, I must hide the bowl under my blanket to keep monsters from eating it.

Nothing to see here monster, no kibbles left

Bleeder bought a huge rug that is suppose to "wick" the dirt and mud from my paws, but it's very comfortable, so whatever.


Today was Waffle Sunday, but I got a bit snappy with Toast and had to wait for him to finish, then Bleeder made me do tricks to get my half of a waffle. In case you haven't figured it out, Bleeder is the strict one. 

She's got all these rules, specifically ones about DEWM claws on her skin and NO BITEY. I'm learning. I mean, at least when I pretend to listen, I get cheese, or a treat, or special scritches. 

Pretty boring actually. No exciting adventures or anything. Still stalking squirrels, but I'm waiting for them to become fat and complacent in the spring. Speaking of spring... still waiting for that to arrive. 

 

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Gotcha Day and Photos

 Yesterday was my "gotcha day" as Bleeder calls it. One year ago I was ripped from my cosy home, separated from my mom and siblings, driven to Merryland and made my home with Bleeder and Toast.


Then
Now

My how time flies in dog years.

I thought that the reason B & T were trying to play with me a lot was part of the anniversary celebration. B held my new chewbone for me in the lazy way that she does.


Then we all went out and played toss/tug with my favorite toy that I'm not allowed to play with inside... something about swinging it wildly near a very expensive TV. 


I was distracted by flying geese

Then they put my harness on me and I thought "OOOH we're going for a ride or walk!" Every time they take me out front, I expect a car ride. Sometimes we just go for a walk, which is good too, but I REALLY love car rides, so I just automatically head for the car hoping we're going for a ride... this time, I got to go for a ride! I helped Toast navigate, even though I didn't know exactly where we were going.

10 and 2 on the wheel, nice form Toast

We went to some place called Annapolis and once we got there, we walked around some parking lot for a while. It was pretty hot, and seeing how I've been having some gastro problems from eating things I shouldn't be eating in the yard (what exactly is a "trash panda", because that's what they keep calling me and I feel that it isn't a nice thing), they kept insisting that I "go poopy" before I entered the building. Bleeder also encouraged me to pull on the harness on the concrete, something about filing my razor sharp talons down a bit. 

Once I did my business and got some water and seemed a bit calmed down, we went into a building and I got to meet the nicest guy! He had a lovely bowl of fresh bottled water ready for me, and scritched me in all the right places. I didn't even jump up on him, I was the best behaved pupper in all of Merryland (much to the shock of Bleeder and Toast). His name was David and he's a photographer, one of the best, according to B&T. He has photographed all of the puppers on the wall of our house and pretty soon, I will adorn that wall as well, although the wall is pretty full so I get to be on my own wall above Bleeder's computer, which I think is fitting.

Anyway, I digress. David allowed me to sniff everything in the reception area, and there were some very lovely sniffs in there. All sorts of sniffs. Then we went back into the dark photography area and I got to inspect everything in there while the three of the humans discussed all things photography and gave me some time to get used to the strange fabric wall/floor thing, all of the strange lights things, and reflector things, and the other things. There were so many things to sniffs.

I got some water, and some cookies and sniffed while they talked, then I got to go outside and pee again. The only room I couldn't thoroughly sniffs was the office area because Bleeder said that was rude, but I tried several times. Then we all gathered in the photography room again and this time I had to sit in between B & T and look at David, which I did, but then a flash went off and I was kind of "I'm not sure about that crap", so I got a cookie and the flash went off a few more times to get me used to the flash and then it was all, meh. So after more bribes and sitting, sometimes I'd lay down, but I'd always lay down with my back to the flash thing, which apparently isn't how you do it. We would take some breaks to allow David to show B & T the photos he had captured. Apparently B & T were the problem, sometimes their glasses slid down, or they were moving. I, on the other hand, am very photogenic and looked gorgeous in all of the photos.

I started to get bored and we all know what happens when a husky gets bored, so we moved the gear outside to a little piece of grassy area. I, of course, found lots of things to gnaw on... once again the "trash panda" reference. We sat in the grass for a bit while more photos were taken and around this time I had enough, and apparently so did David because we milled around looking at the results... well, Toast did, I was dragging Bleeder around looking for interesting things to not be able to eat, and then we went back inside, said our good-byes and we drove home.

It was EXHAUSTING.


I was so tired that I fell asleep on Bleeder and she ate ice cream without me even knowing. ICE CREAM!


Apparently we will wait a bit and then go watch a presentation of all of the pictures once David fixes the little glitches, and by little glitches I mean human imperfections because I'm perfect, and then choose the pictures we'll have printed/framed.

So, if you are EVER in Annapolis, you must make an appointment with David Anderson and have him take your photo! He also has tasty treats that he bribes you with. Of course, once mine is ready I will share the results with you. I can't wait!

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Disappointments

 I'm NOT thrilled with this Merryland state! The lack of snow is appalling, and the people that predict this appalling weather need to be clawed and feathered.

Here I was, all ready for 1-3 inches of the glorious powdery goodness and what did we get? Rain. Not only rain, which I don't like because it goes right into my ears, but sideways rain. Then it was sideways rain with bits of hard ice particles, that also went into my ear, and I refused to go outside during that. Then what did we get? FINALLY fluffy flakes of snow fell from the sky... only to melt in all the water and ice pellets. When the wind picked up and started flinging shards of ice off of the trees, Bleeder refused to let me out or go outside with me... I don't blame her actually, it was stupid outside.

So, nothing, we got nothing. Just some falling snow that was pretty, and then ice. I like ice. My outdoor water bowl was a giant ice cube this morning and that was fun, but it's cold out, which means Toast and Bleeder are not inclined to go out and play with me. They said this week it will be warmer and they'll play... but I don't want to play when it's warm!  Maybe my walks will resume. I hope so. 

I'm also told that I get to go on a special car ride next weekend and it's not to the vet. Apparently Toast and Bleeder will get all fancy dressed and take me to a photography studio for the traditional family portraits. That should be fun. They will both be wear long sleeves to hide the claw marks and blood.

Speaking of claw marks, I'm being trained to have my feet in a "hold". It requires a lot of treats and patience (Bleeder has the treats, the patience part... eh). It also requires that the snippy clippers are held near my feet, and I know where this is leading to... the trimming of my razor-like talons, specifically my DEWM claws (Toast and Bleeder call them the claws of DEWM for my innate ability to use them to rip through fabric and flesh). I've chiseled them into tiny machetes that will gut a caribou with one swipe, if I should ever meet a caribou, that is... it would also be lethal to those horrible squirrels, but I like to think big. 

My DEWM claws were not removed when I was a baby, and Bleeder tried to get them hacked off during my spay, but I don't have floppy DEWM claws, my DEWM claws are sunk in with concrete and rebar and are there to stay and would require a pretty extensive surgical procedure, so I got to keep them... much to Bleeder's disappointment. I like my DEWM claws and I know how to use them to get my way. 

Here are some gratuitous pictures of me this week, being adorable and the prettiest princess in the land.

Woke Bleeder up at 0330 so I could nap on the couch

Making sure the neighbor dogs don't eat my squirrels before I do

Taking a nap near the DON'T TOUCH THOSE while Bleeder does something stupid

What do you mean this stick isn't trade up cheese worthy?

My puppy blanket is comfy