Friday, May 26, 2006

I am NOT a Happy Husky Right Now

THOSE HUMANS!!!!!

I haven't been feeling very well the past few days. I thought the human woman had poisoned me with that rice stuff she had fed us. Upset stomach, a bit of diarrhea. Last night I forced them to take me out every 2 hours because my stomach was very upset. Not only that, but my delicate po-po and po-po hair is a bit messy, so I made sure to squish my fluffy backside onto the human woman's head (she was so pleased).

This morning, more of the same. I got a measly portion of some very bland icky food for breakfast and NO LUNCH!

Around the usual time that we wake up and want to play, the human man came home, the moron step-brothers were thrown outside, and they human woman got the harness out. OH GOODY, I'm going somewhere!

In the truck we go, I stuffed my nose out of the window with glee. Hey... wait a minute... this is the smell route to the vet place. NOOOOOO!

I went in on my own volition, and even stood on that thing that weighs me (I've gained a bit since my last visit, which prompted the human woman to comment that I needed to diet again... again? You will feed me ample portions, and snacks, and human food as I please!)

Into a room we went and of course, I lay down next to human man and looked cute and fluffy. I snagged a passing minion who rushed in, captivated by my cute fluffiness, and I was able to stick my tongue in her mouth. I love that reaction.

Another human woman came in and proceeded to stick something in my butt. You've got to be kidding me! No hello, no how do you do, just knelt down and stuck it in there. The human woman helped hold me still (for this, she shall pay).

I didn't have a temperature, which meant that another human woman comes in and starts shining lights in my eyes and ears, and trying to see my teeth (um, how about asking first), then pokes and prods me, and squeezes my already upset stomach, and then STICKS A FINGER UP MY BUTT! Apparently she wanted a souvenir as she smeared it on a glass and took it away. I have no idea how these humans come up with these strange hobbies.

My human woman held me while the other poked me with two needles. Then some guy came in and put me in a head lock and the human woman with the strange poop fetish holds my precious tippy toe in her hand and tries to jab me with a needle. Well, I was having none of that, so I puffed up into my biggest fluffiness and hissed (yes, when I get mad I hiss) and started the "if you don't let go of me right now and remove that thing from my leg I will make you pay" screech... and they let me go. Whew. I showed them.

Ten minutes later, another human comes in, my human woman practically lays on me and they grab my delicate back leg and stick another needle in me! Apparently they got what they wanted after a while and let me go, but boy did I glare at them, and tried to hide under the human man.

Oh, the torture isn't over there... they then proceeded to hold me down and shove liquid up my nose TWICE!!!

Finally, they let me go home, and they even stopped at Petsmart to appease me. I didn't get to meet anyone there, but I told them which dog food I wanted (they didn't get it) and told them which chew toys I wanted (they didn't get them), and which snacks I wanted (once again... why bother taking me if they aren't going to listen to my recommendations).

I was thoroughly sniffed when I got home (yes you lowly minions, I went OUT).

For dinner I got a special food. It was a bit bland, but tasty. The boys got their regular food, but it smelled different. I think they got something special too, but hey, I got to go out, they can have one special meal. Can't wait until bedtime when we all get our usual treats.

While I was trying to rest up from my torture, the human woman shoved a pill in my mouth.

There just doesn't seem to be an end to this day!

Meeshka
(where's my treats?)

2 comments:

cyber-sibes said...

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling too well. I myself am sporting a No-Bite collar while the wound on my leg inflicted by that brainless Golden pup at the dogpark last week heals. Good thing I can control myself or that little twit wouldn't see his next birthday......Must be something in the air. --Star

IndyPindy said...

Oh, poor Meeshka! When I had diarrhea for a long time, I went to the vet a lot and she was so rude! She put sticks and thins up my butt! She had one stick that she put up there, and then she looked at the numbers on it. Then she had another stick that she put up there, and pulled it out and said it didn't have enough poop on it. Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! So then she put her finger in there! All this to check to see if I had something called a parasite. Well, I didn't.

Now whenever anyone at the vet tries to hug me I jump away and site down or put my butt against the wall!