Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I live with morons

I'm taking a break from posting all of the wonderful HULA nominations to let you know that I live with two morons... not including the humans, of course. If I haven't posted your HULA acceptance posts, please be patient. For one, blogger sucks and has been having issues lately while they roll out their latest and greatest release that will surely suck. Another reason is that I've been busy with the morons I live with today.

First of all, Sam decided to pout in his crate tonight after eating. Sam normally doesn't pout in his crate, which meant that the human woman was very worried about him and paid him a whole lot of attention instead of scratching my fluffiness. He was, of course, fine and sprang from his crate to get a treat when offered. Luckily the human woman gave me one too for no reason.

The real moron of the house is that suck up gimpy mutatoe Loki. For DAYS he's been moping around, being all bratty. He even had the gall to run straight into me, which really hurt!

Well, today the human woman finally did some laundry, and she was putting things away in the room where we aren't allowed. The gimpy mutatoe followed her into the room (I'll claw him later for that) and tried crawling under the bed. The human woman shooed him out of the room and put up the stupid gate, but he continued to sit in front of the gate and sigh. Later on she went back into the room where we aren't allowed, and he dashed in after her and once again tried to climb under the bed. This time the human woman looked, and there... was this:

Its his nasty, torn up stinky purple "ball".

This thing sat in the yard for YEARS because it was so stinky and nasty. I wouldn't touch it, the old guy-guy Nova ran away from its smell, and Sam picked it up once and threw up. The moment that little suck up gimpy came to the house, he claimed it as his and drug it INTO the house, where he chewed and chewed on it until it became this... not even a ball. (Please note that the nasty fabric stuff matches the nasty carpet in the house).

This is the second time he's pouted and pined for the purple stinky ball. He his a pink stinky ball, but that's not his favorite, he has to have the purple stinky ball. One time it was thrown down the stairs and it landed in the place where we use to be able to go, but now can't. Once again, he'd go downstairs and stare, but the human woman was oblivious, until one day he knocked the gate down and charged after it.

Ok, I admit, I'm the one that keeps hiding the foul thing, but that's only because I'll be napping somewhere and he'll come and toss it at me. That stink won't come off your fur no matter what, and its annoying. Sure, I'll gladly roll in a dead thing, but this thing stinks beyond a dead thing.

Which brings me to my point: HULA members are suppose to annoy the HUMANS not me... which is why he'll never make it into HULA at this rate. Ok, just as I was typing that with my razor sharp claws, I heard the distinct noise of something being dragged off the kitchen table. I raced in to tattle on him and sure enough, he had pulled some silly pad of paper off the table and was about to eat it. Alerted by my tattletail dash, the human woman was able to stop him, "trade up" for it, and once again I got a treat just for ratting him out.

Life is good

Meeshka
(keep that nasty thing away from me)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Meeshka,

My whiney pathetic brother Samuel has some nasty stinky toys that he likes to play with too. He likes to take them outside where they get all wet and dirty and then when they get real nasty he brings them in the house to play with mom. Idiot that she is, she actually plays with them WITH him! I actually help her out by taking them away from Samuel so he won't play with them.

My question is.... why don't these moron humans get rid of those disgusting toys? I mean seriously!! They are sure quick to throw away our dead things, but not those stinky nasty old destroyed toys!!

Hollybollyboo

Anonymous said...

Meeshka,

My whiney pathetic brother Samuel has some nasty stinky toys that he likes to play with too. He likes to take them outside where they get all wet and dirty and then when they get real nasty he brings them in the house to play with mom. Idiot that she is, she actually plays with them WITH him! I actually help her out by taking them away from Samuel so he won't play with them.

My question is.... why don't these moron humans get rid of those disgusting toys? I mean seriously!! They are sure quick to throw away our dead things, but not those stinky nasty old destroyed toys!!

Hollybollyboo

Anonymous said...

Blogger is really irritating me. First it won't let me post, so I go away for a while and then when I come back, my comment is THERE TWICE.

Blogger sucks.

Holly

Anonymous said...

If it's so nasty and stinky how come the humans didn't know it was under the bed? Bad noses, eh??

Anonymous said...

Well, I live for nasty stinky things! The stinkier the better! You can mail it to me if you wanna git rid of it!

Kel

Anonymous said...

That kinda reminds me of when I decided to see what "golf" was all about. Nothing stinky about it, though. Until I started doing the horka to get it all out.
Love,
Amber