Friday, January 19, 2007

New Tactic for the Day

Both humans were home today, so I went for maximum pathetic. When they were down with Sam, I stuffed my head under the railing and whimpered oh so very quietly. Me efforts paid off when the human woman got up... and comforted Sam because she thought he was whining. Drat. Fine! Waited for her to sit down again, screwed up my face to look very needy (and fluffy) and whined a bit louder.

It worked, she immediately saw just how unhappy I was and came up to the landing and gave me attention. She’s like a puppet and I pull her strings.

Throughout the day, when Sammy was locked in his crate and the human woman was within claw reach, I’d lay on her foot and grind my chin into her flesh to make sure she knew I was there. That got me an ear scratch and attention. I got a kleenex (used) by looking very fluffy, and Loki gimpy mutatoe suckup and I got croissant later on when we both strategically placed ourselves in the hall so she’s have to step over us, and we synchronized a big sigh. It was wonderful.

Right before dinner, I tried the railing stare and cry technique, which was very successful again, and netted us beef chunks for dinner. We told Sam not to eat his beef chunks, as we wanted more, and he obliged. Score another victory for us.

All of that posing, whining, and acting pathetic really wore us out, so after dinner we decided to nap, that way we’d be good and wide awake later on for some serious bothering of the humans. We timed it to about the time when they’d normally take Sam out. First Loki barked REALLY loud in that ear piercing yap of his, and that got him thrown outside, just as we planned. Minutes later, I woo’d down the hallway, and yep, got shown the door to the deck. This caused the humans to get up and check on Sam, who had wheedled his way into being allowed to sleep outside of his crate for the rest of the night. He’s been so cramped in that crate, and has to pee a lot (we can barely keep up with all of his pee mail in the yard he pees so much), so the humans are trying to see if he will behave on his own outside of the crate. He’s lulling them into a false sense of security, and then will destroy something of great importance.

Tonight is the human man’s turn to sleep in our bed. We will make sure to wake him up every hour by batting him or clawing him. He doesn’t move for us when WE want a particular part of the bed, much like the human woman does, so we have to make it very uncomfortable for him to sleep up with us, unless he allows us our proper bed amount.

The humans did tell us that Sammy now has a lot more plates than he did right after the surgery. Apparently he’s gotten more than double the plates that he had, so they were very happy. If I had known that they wanted us around only for our place settings, I would have found another home long ago. I need to keep my eye on this using us to set a dinner table thing. Just to be on the safe side, they’re sending his blood for more testing, and probably to get more plates from him, perhaps some cutlery and those stupid roll things you put napkins through.

Meeshka
(beef in a can is good, but I’m still not looking at you)

3 comments:

MaPaw said...

Oh, that is a good cold shoulder you are giving the camera.
-Magnum

Charlie said...

Meeshka, you are the funniest!
- Charlie's mom

Holly said...

Whining for food and trats always works for my brother Samuel. The louder and more irritating, the sooner the human gives you what you want.

Holly