1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
I do zoomies in the house and make the other dogs chase me while doing it, and we run past the baby at top speed. Sometimes she gets knocked over. Sometimes she just cringes. I also try to get the cat, even up on the shelf above the washing machine. I put my whole face in the water bowl and dry it off on Mom's bed. She HATES that!
2. Cause Humans to Freak Out for No Real Reason
Trying to climb on top of the washer after the cat makes Mom freak. I have no idea why. Same for drying my face on her bed. And escaping the yard to go try and get a chicken meal at the neighbor's house.
3. Cause Humans Guilt for No Reason Other Than to Get Attention or Treats
I whine like mad when Mom puts me in the crate for a time out, and scratch at the bottom of the crate. Usually she comes back with cookies or something tasty.
4. Destroy Something
This is the easiest one! The baby leaves her toys all OVER the house when she doesn't give them to us directly. I killed a teddy bear just the other day. Another day, I was countersurfing and broke a bowl. And Mom keeps finding me with building blocks in my mouth. Here's a countersurfing picture attachment.
5. Human Behavior Modification
My countersurfing talents have made Mom better about doing dishes and hiding food. She hates the dishes and used to wait an hour or so after dinner before doing them. Now she does them right away and puts the food away too, even if Dad hasn't come home to eat yet. And my talents at dumping the garbage all over the carpet (okay, I had the baby's help with that one) made Mom move the garbage pail to another room I can't get into without her.
6. Mom hasn't tried to dress me up yet, thank dog!
7. Love of Kleenex
Mom doesn't buy Kleenex, but there are baby wipes I've shredded, as well as diapers (that one resulted in the garbage pail move), diaper boxes, and paper towels!
These are all my qualifications. There is only the one picture of my misdeeds because I know what the camera looks like, and I am too quick for Mom to get a picture of me doing anything 'wrong'! Please consider my application. Thanks
Congrats Thor! - Meeshka