Saturday, June 02, 2007

My Trip to the Vet


This morning when the humans got out my lovely and stylish harness and leash, I thought for sure that they were going to take me someplace fun and exciting. Turns out I was due for my vaccines, so off to the vet we went. I was not pleased at all about that. No dancing, no dinner, no sprinkler, no miniature golf, no nothing.

As usual, I made my grand entrance into the vet clinic to the ooh and aahs of the people already in there. They gazed upon my fluffiness and were envious of me. I inspected the shelves for my treats. They had nicely left a basket of rawhide bones out for me, but the human woman pulled me away rudely and told me they weren’t for me. Um, excuse me, but if they leave them at dog level, then they sure are for me! I also thought it was dangerous of them to leave a tippy shelf like that, as I nearly knocked down an entire display when I tried to investigate the bags of treats and everyone had a good laugh when I knocked a bunch of stuff to the floor. The human woman didn’t laugh though, she can be such a prude.

After that, I decided that I wasn’t going to cooperate at all and when I was led to the scale, I decided to throw a tantrum and lay down, refused to get on the scale. You want me on the scale, you’ll have to lift me on it. They did, even though I tried to make myself as heavy and limp as possible. I am a very fluffy 75 pounds. Yep, I’m very fluffy. So fluffy that the human woman gasped in amazement at my fluffiness and told me in all seriousness that I was going on a diet! I’m not so sure I like those plans.

We went into the usual exam room and I was very cute and fluffy there... until the evil vet tech woman came in and tried to stuff a thermometer up my butt, then I wasn’t so cute and fluffy. I buried myself behind the human man and tried to be very small. Those dang slippery floors wouldn’t give my claws any purchase, and I got slid backwards, tail presented like a sacrifice and in went the thermometer. I screamed really loud, which made the tech feel bad, but the humans knew I was just being a pain.

The vet came in and boy was it fun skittering around, hiding behind people trying to avoid her. Stupid human woman and her evil tech experience though. She got me in a head lock and there’s just no escaping that when she gets her mind to it. I shrieked again, just to freak out the people in the waiting room. The cruel vet poked me twice with needles and stole my blood with a third one. Then I was rudely put into a headlock by the human woman and the vet shoved something in my nose and squirted it in. I made sure to twist violently at the last second and even though most went into my nose, the rest went right into the human woman’s face. She can now be boarded at a kennel.

Once that inconvenience was over with, I snubbed the tech and the vet’s attempt at apologizing and pranced back into the waiting room, where throngs of my admirers were concerned about my health and well being and I got all sorts of attention.

The mutatoe and gimpy Sam were very jealous when I returned home and gave me a thorough sniffing. After a while we got lunch and I swear there was more water and less food in there than normal. I’m going to have to complain to the chef about that if it happens again for dinner.

Meeshka
(I’ll show you where to put that thermometer)

8 comments:

Sooky said...

Oh Meeshka,
So sorry you had to go to the vet, I bet it was funny when you knocked over all the stuff,
Sooky

Sitka and Tia's BLAWG! said...

Oh no Meeshka! I have to go see the vet at the end of this month. I think I heard mom saying that what you had done is the same thing that will pertty much happen to me! yikes!
Hugs,
Sitka

Lee :) said...

Our vet leaves things on the low level of the shelves too. They are just asking for sniffing and eating trouble. :) Sorry you had to go to the vet, but glad you are okay.

CASPER AND PALS said...

Hey we have to go to the vet soon too. I'm thinking of trying your fancy move with that nose stuff so that I can board mama at the kennel this year instead of us doggies!

Luckie the Dachie said...

Hey Meeshka,
Looks like you have a lot of fans waiting for you at the vet. I'm glad you showed your hoomans what a pain it was to go to the vet. They should have brought you to somewhere more FUN!!

Dachsies Rule said...

Meeshka, at least when you are fluffy it sounds pretty. Our vet called ANDY fluffy when he weighed over 20 pounds. We don't think smooth coated boy dogs are supposed to be fluffy. Mom did the evil diet thing to him for a while. She does the evil diet thing to Sammy and Roxie all the time. Your human woman deserves to be clawed.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Holly said...

Way to scream at them to make them think you are being tortured. Sam does that sometimes too. At least you got even by knocking things over!

Not the DIET thing!!!!! I am on one of those, and they suck. I get green beans in my food! But, then we found out I am hypothyroid, so hopefully that will help. Maybe your human woman just needs to stop being so lazy and walk your more often. Isn't that what those harnesses are for?

Holly

Cubby said...

Hahahahaha! Great work!