Sunday, July 29, 2007

I seriously don't understand humans

While trying to stay awake (easy enough with the human woman’s snoring) I was cruising through the news stories of the day, and I have to say that some of the things that humans do really, really confuse me.

For instance, here is an interesting story about a boy who swallowed a “grill”. I thought the boy swallowed a barbecue grill, and I was pretty amazed and about ready to nominate the human boy into HULA for such a feat, but apparently humans have some kind of teeth thing that they wear to make them look as though they have metal teeth.

Ok, so my first question is... why?

My second question is: what kind of mother buys her 7 year old son fake metal teeth to wear? Do human pups even have their teeth at that age? What purpose would there be to have a 7 year old human pup running around with metal teeth?

My third question is: what kind of mother buys her 7 year old son fake metal teeth from a FLEA MARKET? Euw!

That’s sorta like buying underwear from a thrift store... its used!

Oh sure, we’ve been known to roll in a dead thing or two, and yes, I admit that I’ve eaten poop (which can certainly be considered “used”) and I really have no idea what goes through the human mind at times... but I’m a dog! I can lick my private areas, but that’s only because we don’t have opposable thumbs and can’t work a washing machine, so its not like I can use a washcloth. Admit it, if you could lick...

I mean seriously, I just don’t see why you humans go to all this trouble to wear makeup and put metal things on your teeth, and all that.

Apparently the kid is expected to poo out the “grill” but the parents are concerned that it hasn’t come out yet. Welcome to the world of the human woman and get yourself some exam room gloves. At least they won’t have to go out in the yard in the rain to look for it. At least they have that going for them.

(about the only thing I like on a grill is chicken)

P.S. Don’t worry Tasha and Eva, even if you could remember your mailing address, chances are I’d lose it right now.


Holly said...

As our very good friend Turbo would say, humans are very stupid! This human is on the extremely high end of stupid! Hopefully that thing doesn't get caught in his intestines (like what happened to Kelsey) or cause a tear in them. That could be very bad.

And I agree, the only thing that should be on a grill is meat!


Tasha & Eva said...

I bet that is going to hurt.


Anonymous said...

Oh.. chicken on the grill. How about chicken on the smoker. We will be doing that in a few hours. So, anyone who is still awake... it will be done in about 8 hours ;) So, head on over, ha roo.

And this metal stuff in your teeth... I don't understand it either.


Franki V said...

My human told me that someone named "Jaws" was in a James Bond movie and that he has metal snappers. If the kid's grill is as big as those choppers were then I think the "Little Grill Boy" is in for some straining. Ouch-ch-ch!

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

Humans are so weird.