Saturday, October 11, 2008
How to Get a Grub
Some of you have asked: "Meeshka, what is a grub?"
Oh, you poor deprived pups!
A grub is a very tasty delicacy that grows underground in Merryland (and other places). Grub season starts in the spring, then stops, then starts again in the fall.
The picture to the right is one very plumb, tasty grub (not life sized). They're actually about the size of a quarter (curled pinky finger to Huffle and other overseas pups).
For those of us blessed with sensitive noses (that can also smell that nasty bath soap that pretends to smell like cucumbers, but actually smells like cucumbers that have been genetically mashed together with a stinky flower and some chemicals), you can smell the grubable down in the ground. You have to dig carefully, lest you toss out the grub with the dirt (and the ever vigilant and lazy Mutatoe who lurks behind you while you dig will get your treasure). The best digging technique is to dig, dig, sniff, dig, dig, sniff, making sure the grub is still down there, and not being slowly consumed by the Mutatoe (who actually breaks his heartworm pill into tiny pieces and savors it... freak).
The subsequent hole is exactly the same size as the human woman's foot (amazingly enough) and you get double the pleasure: tasty grub snack and floor show as human woman lurches through the ankle breaking holes.
Before she discovered that grubs were actually an excellent source of protein, the human woman would try to take them away from us. Having such a tasty treat taken away from us was torture... but we did get to see her nearly horka at the squishiness of the tasty grub, and if it happened to still be alive and moved in her hand, well, the dancing, shrieking, and dry heaving was priceless. Now she just lets us eat them, probably figuring that she's saving on food in the long run, but losing money on the big bags of grass seed to replace what we've dug up.
Here are some more pictures of the grub technique. Learn them... you will be tested