Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 Lessons Learned

Hello everypup (and kit, and hamsterrior) it is me, your Queen with the 2008 Human Lessons Learned.

Lesson #1: No good deed goes unpunished, so if you continue to do good deeds, do them anonymously so that nobody can come blame you for doing something nice. At the very least, when accused of doing something nice, always point to someone else and say "that person told me to" then run.

Lesson #2: When all else fails: nap. Napping never hurt anyone, and at the very least you can say that you actually accomplished something.

Lesson #3: Dogs eat first, humans second. Don't listen to those stupid behaviorists, what do they know? If they knew, they would be dogs and would want to eat first too.

Lesson #4: Let us go down the stairs first instead of the other way around. Although the same behaviorists think that going first shows who is in charge... the person "in charge" is more effective when they don't have a broken leg when we push them down the stairs because they walk so freakin slow when we have to pee.

Lesson #5: You look really stupid yelling "hurry up and poop" outside where the world can hear you... so keep doing it, it makes us laugh and also makes us look for a spot longer because who can poop when they're laughing, plus it makes you yell louder and that's even funnier.

Lesson #6: Stop asking "do you want lunch?" and then shrieking when you get clawed or teeth pinched. You know the routine, get with it and stop dawdling.

Lesson #7: Humans are very hard to train, and no doubt that this year we'll have to go over and over the same lessons again, just like we did last year.

Here's hoping that 2009 will be profitable for everyone BUT those being bailed out, those that gave them the bailout, and that our humans get repaid their bailout bucks in livergreat.

Meeshka

16 comments:

Steve, Kat, & Wilbur said...

Happy New Year! We like your lessons. Our parents say "go potty". It's pretty funny when they say "Go potty Kat". The neighbors probably think they are talking to Wilbur!

Kat

Randi Lyn A. said...

WOO Queen Meeshka, we think the humans deserve the claw no matter what. They will never learn.

WOOOOO woo rar rar rar,
Kayla and Maebe

Poppy said...

Those sure are some great lessons learned. It's very charitable of you to offer to teach your peoples over and over again. Good luck with that. :)

Poppy

Cyber-sibes said...

Happy New Year, Meeshka. Hee hee, always did get a kick out of the "go pee" command... like that's going to make us go pee!

Woos & a-roos,
Star & Jack a-roo

Tracey and Huffle said...

I think us cats are way ahead in the potty thing - no-one EVER tells me to go pee or go potty. But those are important lessons. I especially like #1.

Huffle Mawson, Honorary Husky and Explorer Cat

Mango said...

Very wise words. I, too, think that doggies must go first to avoid human pratfalls. As for the do you want your dinner crap... duh, give me a break.

Hurry up and poop. Hee, hee, hee.

Slobbers,
Mango

Ozzie the OZmonster said...

As always, I have so much to learn and am very thankful you offer such wonderful advice for everyone.

I am so happy that I have met you and all the other wonderful fuzzies here in DWB land.

My hoomans say go bano, so I guess I am learning spanish.

Thanks for everything meesh,

Ozzie

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

So, why don't you just park this one to publish again on 12/31/09 -

We know they won't learn!

Hope woo have a phine 2009!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

The Army of Four said...

I like your second piece of advice best. In fact... I'm going to go take a nap right now.
Luv,
Dave

JustMeCopper said...

Those are great lessons. I am also taking notes on that great pose ... with the front paws crossed. Love it. I am not sure my little legs will do it though... let me go try ....

Mason Dixie said...

Happy New Year

The Thundering Herd said...

As always, we bow to your wisdom. We have the corollary to Lesson 4 - Always wait on the human to start down the steps and then race them - it is far more fun.

P.S. - our verification word is "catedit". Edit a cat? Sounds interesting. (Sorry Huffle).

Allison (Dog Mom) said...

Happy New Year, Meeshka!

Good luck with your hoomans. Sounds like urs are as confused as ours about what we want.

Wuv,
Gus and Waldo

Casper and pals said...

Love it!

Especially number 5!

LOL

Summit the Super Mal said...

Woo there Meeshka~
Woo nailed those lessons!! Our stupid huMom asks us over and over..."Do you want to go outside?"
DUH...of course I want to go outside. Why do you think I am standing here by the door? (Damn those opposable thumbs contraptions they call knobs.)
GHEESH...I've got to go nap....we have our work cut out for us in 2009.
Your pal,
Summi

Katherine and Pippa said...

Haha, just read this out to master and he is coughing he is laughing so much.
He says we need to keep up the good work. I go out to walk first, I eat first, and well, I am first.
Good one QM

Pippa