Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Seriously out of control

No, I'm not talking about the pimple on the human woman's face, although it is so disgusting I can barely look at her, I'm talking about the Mutatoe.

It seems that he didn't go "away" to rehab like I thought he would. I was looking forward to at least 28 days of non-ear piercing yapping and him hitting me with that... mutatoe. Oh no, he didn't go anywhere, apparently rehab consists of him not getting any socks... duh, there's a brilliant idea, glad I have such an intelligent human woman. Ok, I take that back, if she were any smarter then I probably wouldn't get all of those medicinal oyster crackers, but still, come on!

So last night I settled in for the night on my comfy human woman head pillow and drooled a little bit, just because I know how much she appreciated drool in her hair in the morning. As usual it gets a bit hot, as the human woman turns into raging furnace at night, and I did see a program on human spontaneous combustion that said that humans that get really hot at night are just flaming time bombs waiting to happen. For my own safety, when she starts cooking, I move onto the air vent, well away from the fire ball of death, should it occur. Right around midnight, she cools off and its back up on the human woman head pillow for me... except for last night.

Last night I was ready to move back up into my spot... but there was something there. At first I thought it was a giant bloated red pillow, but then it snored and I realized that it was THE MUTATOE! The Mutatoe had totally stolen my space on the bed! Normally he's at the foot of the bed with Spinless Bionic Hip Pup Sam, but tonight Sam had managed to sprawl the entire foot of the bed, leaving no room for Mutatoe. Like a good Mutatoe he should have just jumped down and slept on the crappy dog bed on the human man's side, but NOOOO, he just made himself right at home in MY spot and HE WOULDN'T GET UP!

I woo'd. I stomped my delicate little feety feet. I ran around the room woo'ing so it sounded like WoooOOOOOooooooOOOOOO! Nothing, no movement from either him or the human woman, who was using HIM as a pillow and drooling on HIM. To make matters even worse, even if he did get up, the Mutatoe drools like a garden hose. I have no idea why, but its so bad that when the Human Woman goes to bed before the human man, Mutatoe lays on the human man side and the human woman actually has to put a towel down under him so he doesn't soak the sheets. He's such a mutatoe! Even if he did get up, who wants to lay in Mutatoe drool covered sheets!?!!???

I'm certainly not happy with the way my house is being run lately, so there will be changes! Just because I felt like it, I totally attacked the Mutatoe when he tried to run up the stairs and slammed him to the floor and told him to stay out of my spot. He will respect my authority!

Meeshka

18 comments:

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

Rut roh!

Power struggle in Merryland!

Just like inside The Beltway!

I'm gonna hold on bekhause this just might be a bumpy AND FUN ride!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

The Thundering Herd said...

Queen Meeshka, Queen Natasha the Evil would be happy to provide her services. Absolutely no dog dare climb onto HER bed at night = at the foot, head, wherever. She might - emphasis on might - allow the humans in the bed, but never the other Sibes. And they all know better.

And if they dare? She chases them around on top of the people in the bed clearly demonstrating how wrong it is for them (the dogs, not the humans - we think) to be in the bed.

Ozzie the OZmonster said...

Meeshka,

I wonder why Mutatoe isn't listening to you? I'm looking forwarding to learning how you will keep Mutatoe under control. I might just have to use those techniques on John and Kelly some day.

Ozzie

Dakota said...

What on earth is going on in your half of Merryland? Did The Mutatoe slip and hit is head or something?

Dakota of the East

Painter Pack said...

**Bows to the greatness of Queen Meeshka***

I am so unworthy! I want to be soooo like woo and get that CoCo of my house under my total control!

**Bows again, hoping the Queen will see me worthy**

Mya Boo Boo

Cyber-sibes said...

Woo would think he'd know better than to "mess with the Meeshka" by now...

woos,
Star & Jack

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Mason Dixie said...

What a night you had. I am glad my mom goes to bed earlier than her BF that way I can sleep anywhere I want to. I do not like to share my bed. =)

Tracey and Huffle said...

Lately poo-face has been put outside at night because he can't be trusted to behave in the house. It means I have the whole bed to myself. Maybe you should institute that rule for the Mutatoe.

Huffle Mawson

Bae Bae said...

He took your space... How disrespectful....

~ Bae

Ms.F. said...

Meeshka, Lola & I absolutely LOVE reading your blog. You're super cool! But since we're fairly new to your blog, we are a little confused - who is the Mutatoe?

DogsDeserveFreedom said...

Oh dear! Trouble trouble.

DogsDeserveFreedom

JustMeCopper said...

I so would love to see a video of a huskie wooing. My doxie 'never met a huskie' ears just cannot imagine that sound. Woof, woof, ruff ruff, bow wow, arf arf, I can imagine because I hear them from my neighbors but I can't imagine the woo.

Try sleeping next to the human man for a change. Mine does not do that cranky temperature thing like my human woman does. When she does that hot thing, I have to move! Youza can those mom's get hot!!!

Angus Mhor said...

What was he THINKIN'? This looks like a power-grab to me..you need to grasp him firmly betwixt the jugulars and squeeze!

Charlie said...

The nerve of some people & dogs! Maybe next time you can roll over on the human woman and SHE'LL leave & move onto the air vent.
- Charlie

Ms.F. said...

Thanks for visiting out blog and answering our question about Mutatoe, Meeshka.

Btw, even though Lola is not a husky (being a mere lab-pit mix), she is completely in awe of you and would like to acknowledge you as her queen & supreme ruler. She hopes you accept her as your humble subject.

Samantha: said...

You poor thing - but you handled that right well! I have an award for you awesome dog, you! C'mon over for infomation!
Love and Licks,
Sammie

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Did it work?