I will refrain from complaining about this horrendous heat here in Merryland... ITS HOT!!! The human woman says that its payback from all of the lovely floofy snow we had this winter when I had my very own Mt. Queen Meeshka snow pile. PFFFT I tell her, then I claw her.
On top of the heat, we've had HORRIBLY LOUD thunderstorms, mainly at night. I've had to claw the human woman out of bed a few nights in the row. She's been curling up downstairs on the couch, but no matter how much I claw, the human man refuses to come downstairs with us. I did manage to claw him down last night, but he just put the gate up and went back to bed. I need to revise my strategy for next time.
So... after putting the stinky cooling bed in MY spot of the bedroom right next to MY air conditioner vent, the human woman FINALLY got the hint that I wasn't going to lay on it and FINALLY moved the stupid thing. She put it out of the way somewhere so they wouldn't step on it... and... well...
So, this week I kept hearing the humans mentioning something about "going" somewhere. I knew that they were planning on taking me to the Dogs With Blogs trip in New York City (where they make salsa) where I could finally meet Brooke and Greg and get to sniff all of the good pee mail that Benson and Opy had sent me. I also had a message from the Mutatoe and the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam for the humans on the loss of their sweet Charlie.
So, on Friday, when the humans started spelling things like LEASH, and CAR, I knew it was time to go. I got myself all floofy and sharpened my dainty little feety feet claws for my formal greeting, and pranced around all happy.
Like clockwork, the harness came out, the leash came out, I got to go out and HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL ITS HOT OUT THERE!!! The front yard seems waaaay much hotter than the back yard, and of all things, my private chauffeur didn't even cool the interior of the personal Queenly RAV vehicle for me! I really need to find better help.
Off we went to New York... except we started heading in a more sourthernly and westernly direction than where New York is located and ....
I was at the VET! I was FURIOUS! No cavier, no 4-star hotel, no room service? No massage, no champagne, and certainly no fun with the Dogs with Blogs gang.
On top of getting pulled and poked and prodded and jabbed with needles... THEY TRIMMED MY SHARP TALONS!!!! There was nothing I could do, I was simply overwhelmed and they even put a muzzle on me... ON ME!!!!
Oh the woomanity!
Once I was done, I had to poo from all of the trauma AND THEY STOLE THAT FROM ME TOO!!!
Back in the hot Queenly RAV again and THIS time I was sure we were off to New York, the lights, the sounds, the broadway shows... I just needed all of my shots and stuff for travel across state lines, I was sure of it.
Until we pulled up at the house again. Seriously? That's it?
So, to all of the wonderful Dogs with Blogs humans and pups that made it to New York... sorry I couldn't be there. My humans are so lame.
(Cultivating more sharp nails)