Sunday, August 07, 2005

Opening Cans

Pretty Princess Sasha Sue has brought up a good topic: How to open cans.

Chewing open the cans is not only time consuming, but bad on our pretty teeth. The metal is also very sharp and can cut us!

Generally, soda and beer cans are very thin, and easily punctured with the canines so that the liquid just squirts right out for the drinking.

My role model and mentor Nakidka (who I never had the opportunity to meet, but I do feel a great bond for), figured out that if the humans bring a really big can full of beer to the house, all you have to do is use your muzzle to press the hose end, and the liquid just streams right into your mouth. You do have to wait for the humans to pump the big can again, but once that's done, there's more beverage for you.

Most food cans in the kitchen are fair game, but they are made of stronger metal, and not easy to puncture. Here's the trick.

1.) Distraction
2.) Conquer

Why go through all the trouble of chewing open a can when you can have a human do it for you. The technique is very simple:

1.) wait until the human has opened a can using one of their pathetic tools.
2.) Knock something over (loudly) in another room. Make sure there is breakage, leakage, and general chaos.
3.) When the human comes to scold you, look really sorry and sad, then slink off. The humans are wired so that they must clean up messes immediately.
4.) While the human is cleaning up the mess, saunter into the kitchen, take the opened can off the counter, and dine happily.

Another variation of this technique is:

1.) Using a step sibling, have them go into another room and scream bloody murder. While the human is figuring out what is wrong, eat the contents of the can. You will have to play the injured the next time a can is opened, it's only fair to swap roles.

Always find ways to make the humans do all the work for you. There's no need to exert yourself.

1 comment:

IndyPindy said...

Meeshka,

My silly humans left out not only my plastic bucket of liver treats, but also a bag of mail and a bag with peices of plastic in it. Of course, I HAD to break the container of liver treats and eat my fill (burp), then I was having so much fun that I had to shred the plastic bags as well. Then my human father got home and was angry at me! Don't these humans every learn? If you leave it out, we will SHRED IT! Huskies HAVE to do that, it's a RULE! Please use your blog to notify humans about this universal Husky law!

Indy