Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Potato Chip Whisperer

Potato Chip Time
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
The human man broke out the bag of potato chips, which we happen to love. There use to be a time, back when old guy-guy Nova was around, where the human man would feed us potato chips, but apparently those days are over. Now we're forced to snorfle the carpet for remnents after he's done eating them. Life is so unfair.

Speaking of whisperers, Zeus the cat (who seems ok for a cat, so I'll answer the question, just don't get in my yard or bad things will happen) asked my opinion of the "dog whisperer".

Ok, I typed that and laughed so hard I piddled a little in the human woman's chair. She'll get over it.

The human woman doesn't like him at all, and I have to agree with her (for once) but for different reasons.

First of all, he doesn't seem to whisper at all, he has more of a pompous demanding tone that huskies just don't like. That whole "walk behind me because I'm the leader" crap... riiiight, sure, whatever. Although walking behind the human does have its advantages (you can eat or roll in a dead thing without them realizing it until its too late), but to do it because Mr. Whisperer says so... yeah, I don't think so.

He thinks that a tired dog is a happy dog, and that's right, but a tired dog that has played with its human is a happy dog, not a happy dog if tossed on a treadmill and forced to run until they drop. Who the fur thought of that crap? He's just a lazy human teaching other lazy humans to force their dogs to run so they don't have to deal with them... and those people need to get a chia pet and not a dog (sorry chia pets, but its either you or me).

So this pompous human comes in and starts order the dog around, doing that "alpha roll" crap (which has deservedly gotten him bit, and I can't wait for the lawsuit when some moron human watching the show gets their nose ripped off), gets the dog to do all sorts of stuff that he asks and then says the dog is trained. Ok, I laughed and piddled in the chair again.

Since humans can't understand dog language, they don't realize that the dog being trained is telling all of the dogs watching "hey, this guy is a butthead, and I'm just going to do what he says because until I do, he's not going to leave" or "wooooof pft" The butthead leaves and what you don't see is the dog going back to doing whatever they want after the camera stops rolling because they know their human is a pushover.

You've seen it many times, don't deny it. You humans go on and on to your friends and co-workers about what terrors we are, how we don't listen, do anything you say, run the house, demand things. Then you take us out in public and we're the perfect little angels, sitting when told, giving our paw willingly, looking adorable and fluffy. The friends and co-workers look at the human like they're deranged and never believe a word told to them after that. They've seen with their own eyes that we're perfect fluffy angels. We get home and destroy a couch.

So, much like that squeeky voiced "walkies" old woman, this "whisperer" guy is just scamming humans into buying into this "training" thing, meanwhile the humans wonder why, after spending all that money, we continue to rip up the wall to wall carpeting.

They'll never understand their place in the house... they live there to serve us.

(got a piece of potato chip from the human woman who felt sorry for us... see how it works)


Zeus said...

My human pet has always thought it's more of a show for the psychology of humans than it is for the psychology of dogs.

I'm also glad that you feel you can tolerate me enough to let me post on your blog. If I am not to come into your backyard, then I will not unless you invite me. :)

Cubby said...

Good job on the chip - I agree about the whisperer!

Isabella said...

Hey Meeshka! I'm with you on the Dog Whisperer stuff.

About those potato chips... You mean they are good to eat? My human told me they are nasty tasting and not good for me. Was she lying to me again just so she wouldn't have to share? Geesh! It's getting so I can't believe a word she says.
Big Wags,