Friday, October 20, 2006

Human Woman Training Progress

Its been a rough few days as we’ve been going through remedial human woman training.

She’s pretty much forgotten everything we’ve taught her, so we’ve been forced into some remedial training.

There was a time where every time we’d go outside, if she human woman wanted us to come inside, she would bribe us with a treat. We thought it was only fair that if we did something, it wasn’t for free, or out of the bottom of our heart. If we wanted to come in, we’d bang on the back door and scream. Since SHE wanted us to come in, she would have to pay for it.

Somewhere along the line, the treats stopped coming once we got into the back door. Ok, so it was summer, and we really wanted to go lay on a cool air vent, but still... that doesn’t mean the treats go away. Since its cool out, we decided that we’d need adequate motivation before we came inside. We simply refused to go in when she told us, and if she came out to herd us inside, we’d split up and play keep away from the human woman. FINALLY she brought out the treat bag.

This meant phase II training: ask to go out every 5 minutes. We’re not stupid. Out means treats when we come back in, so we’ve kept her hopping with asking to go out. Claw, claw, claw, out, bang on door to come back in and get our treat. We’ve practically had entire meals doing this.

Phase III training: claw, claw, CLAW means “water bowl is empty”. She still hasn’t figured this part out. Loki is a freakin camel when it comes to water. The humans call him “Gunga Din” because he hoardes water. This means when I want a tasty cool drink... the bowl is empty. Its a conundrum, because a waterlogged Loki means going out a lot, and getting more treats when we come back in, but dang, I get pretty thirsty carrying around all this fluff. So... claw, claw, CLAW... nothing. Claw, claw, CLAW! Nothing. I’ve finally learned to carry something into the computer room that I’m not suppose to have and plop it at her feet. The best things to drop are kitchen gadgets or empty kongs (when tossed just right on the feet, it gets immediate attention). The human woman takes the forbidden item and tosses it in the sink, where I’ve positioned myself at the water bowl and clank its emptiness with my well sharpened claws. TINK TINK TINK... “HELLO!” Duh, she finally gets it.

Phase IV starts tomorrow: Give me ice cream

Meeshka
(training humans is such a chore)

6 comments:

JustMeCopper said...

I have been doing some new training with my Mom too. She hasn't figured out what it means when I sit and look at her and whine yet. I DOES NOT mean "I want to go outside."

IndyPindy said...

My human left the 'puter on, and I wrote the Harnessed to Hope Newsletter. Then she told everyone she did it.

Just for that, I am going to develop severe diarrhea and wake her up TWICE to go out tonight!

The Army of Four said...

That sounds like exhausting work, Meeshka. But rewarding.
Play bows,
Zim

Anonymous said...

Boy, tell me about it Meeshka--if you guys figure out a better way to train, let me know. We're all almost at our wit's end with these people not remembering what we teach them.

Pippin

jan said...

You show gentle patience. Humans can be quite obtuse.

jan

Kelsey and Smokey said...

Our humom knows that when I nip at her playfully and jump on her, it means GET ME A COOKIE WOMAN!!!

It's good to have updated training for your humes, sometimes they forget. Plus, they get slower and don't jump to get what we want right away. A friendly reminder is a good thing.