Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Art of Horka

I’m glad Turbo asked about the Art of Horka because its very important for all dogs to understand that horka is indeed an art form, and has some rules.

For those humans that don’t know what horka means, I’ll put it in more human terms:
vomit
throw up
drive the porcelain bus
heave
spew
blow chunks

Must I go on?

The rules of horka are very simple as well:

1.) If you have a choice between horkaing on something easy to clean or something impossible to clean, switch positions so you hit the impossible to clean area. I, myself, have walked several feet in order to avoid horkaing on linoleum just to get to the carpet.

2.) if the humans put something under you to catch the horka, at the last minute turn your head and horka on their antique persian rug.

3.) If nobody is watching, horka in a shoe or other human clothing item. They appreciate the surprise later on when they find it.

4.) Horka in the middle of the night, do it right on the bed. That gets everyone up and moving.

5.) If possible, horka up something they never expected, like a sock or pair of underwear. If you horka up a pair of underwear, make sure you do it in front of company.

Last but not least:

6.) Wait until they clean up the horka... then horka again in a different spot.

The art of horka depends on your preference. Sasha tells me that she’s a hunched over standing horka type. She’s also mobile, which spreads the horka out farther and wider, more to clean up.

I prefer the standing straight as possible ear bob horka, as demonstrated below:

ears forward on the hork, ears back on the A, and ending with a very loud yiiiiiiack for emphasis.

So, what’s your favorite or most interesting place to horka, and do you have a style of your own?

Meeshka

9 comments:

Kapp pack said...

If at all possible I horka on the carpet. It's difficult though since only 3 rooms in the house have carpet...Sky usually horkas grass that he eats outside. If mom catches us ready to horka she groabs our collars and tries to get us out the door ASAP.

-Kelsey Ann

Sitka and Tia's BLAWG! said...

Weoo, I must saw that we are mobile in this house. Simi, my brother who passed 2 years ago, he horkaed on the bed in the middle of the night on mom's feet. Tia usually does it on the floor. She is polite and gets off the furniture, and walks around as she horkas. I, take from example of Tia. I spread it out all over the floor. I make this weird face. I will have to see if mom can catch it on the camera. I squint my eyes. It is something.
Hugs,
Sitka

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

I don't horka - or polka - but my hu-mom's other dogs had some horka types - and ONE designated HorkaCleanUp Dog !

Tag Team the horka party for even more of a yuck factor!

Waggin' at ya,

Khyra

JustMeCopper said...

I definately prefer the carpet. If you throw up on the bed, they can rip the bedding off quickly and wash it. The carpet is better. Furniture will do in a pinch.

I have never thrown up underwear before though.

Oh ... the carpet UNDER the bed is the best.

Tasha & Eva said...

I did the horka dance in the humans' bed the other morning. I must have been very very quiet 'cuz Momma didn't wake up. Back when we had cats, she could hear them hack up a furball at the other end of the house.

BTW the verification code for this comment was "twrwywwt". Looks like how Momma draws grass but then she draws stick people.

Belly rubs,
T&E

Polar said...

The very most best and ideal thing is to horka where another dog can clean it up right away. The humans LOVE this. Be sure to do it where they can see. Teamwork is key, here.

Turbo the Sibe said...

I will horka anywhere at any time. I'm non-discriminatory.

Thanks for the post and the picture!

Holly said...

Last time one of us did the horka, it was at the bottom of the basement stairs, so when mom went down stairs in the morning to get her clothes, she didn't turn on the lights, so she doesn't wake those of us sleeping down there, and she stepped right in it!! That was pretty funny. Made her gag.

Holly

Marilyn said...

Our Mom thought she one up'd us when she got rid of most of the carpet in the house :) We make sure we Horka Horka on the runners :)

Hubley Hooligans