I'm convinced that the human woman has that Munchausen by dog thing going on. No, Munchausen isn't a pathological need to eat junk food continuously, although she has that too, its that thing where people hurt themselves all the time to get sympathy from their friends.
Case in point, she was standing right where I was putting my foot down and the next thing I know she's screaming and hollering, jumping up and down and clutching her foot. She's accusing me of stomping on her foot so hard that I bruised it. How could little fluffy me do such horrendous bruising to a human foot? Human feet are apparently quite delicate and bruise easily. She once stubbed her toe on the Mutatoe, and while the Mutatoe is quite ample in the ass, I don't see him being so sturdy as to damage a toe.
She also accuses me of clawing her bloody (especially during storms) but if she would just do what I demand, when I demand it, at the times I've set forth in the rules of the house, I wouldn't need to claw her. Apparently humans are so dense that you have to claw them a LOT to get them to follow rules. I truly don't see how they even function as a society with their set of rules and laws when they can't remember that at 6pm my food bowl better be on the ground and filled!