Sunday, December 26, 2010

New HULA Members: The Thundering Herd

Yes, my pupfriends, its time to shine the HULA spotlight on the Thundering Herd!

I've received numerous excuses from the Thundering Herd's human man about not having the time to properly document the chaos and mayhem caused by the Herd, blah, blah, excuse, excuse, wah wah wah!  This only goes to show what exemplary HULA members the Herd is: keeping their Human Man from functioning properly in civilization.  I bet he can't even put his clothes in the spinny thing and make them smell like fake flowers and junk because he's always cleaning up after the Herd and their antics... BRAVO Herd!

Now, I don't want all of you to think that I'll just go and nominate HULA members on my own and do all of the research necessary to weed out your qualifications.  I'm much too busy for that (currently I'm gathering small bits of snow that are falling that was suppose to be a snowmageddon but got canceled because weather people are morons and need to be clawed.

Anyhoo, this is a once in a lifetime HULA nomination, because I need the Herd to concentrate on their operations to drive their humans insane (and they are close to being finished apparently).

HULA Qualifications
1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
There's nothing better than having a bunch of you "act up" while on a peaceful walk with one human man... The Herd has perfected the whole "oh sure, we're well mannered huskies that obey your every command until we get you alone out in the middle of nowhere and then watch out" tactic.  This is only matched with the "wait until we get out in public and embarrass you" tactic.  You can also insist upon walking in between the Human Man's legs, like Rusty here.

2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason
Was accomplished on Christmas Eve by Queen Natasha, who ate something that didn't agree with her (probably a nice book) and was rushed to the puppy ER for treatment.  We are pleased to announce that she's back home giggling, and want to send a word of caution to other HULA wannabees: don't hurt yourself in your attempts to freak out your humans... but a vet run or two for non-serious things is not only fun, but expensive!

3. Destroy Something
Using the "eat an entire loaf of bread" as a diversionary tactic to destroy other things is the best way to accomplish maximum destruction.  Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam totally approves of the consumption of bread products in this carefully coordinated sneak attack.  We also approve of stealing money.

4. Human behavior modification:
Making the humans erect barriers around the things they want to keep whole and then inconveniencing themselves in the process is a great trick.  What makes it even better is getting yourself into predicaments where the humans have to come to your rescue, or at the very least see why you are screaming at the top of your lungs as if scalded weasels were eating your eyes.  The only better maneuver is to completely defeat their attempts at blocking you, and giving them the finger.

5. Humans dress you up
I have found no evidence that the Human Man dresses up the Thundering Herd... probably because he knows better.  I approve.

6. Love of Kleenex
Although I'm sure there have been incidences of kleenex addiction, the Herd has mastered the "shredding of important paperwork" missions with style and pizazz, therefore I'll cut them some slack on no pictures or evidence of rolls of toilet paper snow throughout the household.

Welcome to the HULA Hoop:

Natasha
Rusty
Kiska
Kodiak
Qannik
Cheoah

Meeshka

5 comments:

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I guess this will give The Herd Annex something to strive fur in 2011!

Welkhome Thundering Herd!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

The Thundering Herd said...

We are incredibly proud and honored at our induction into HULA! We promise to continue to cause all sorts of havoc and mayhem as is our duty.

P.S. The hu-dad only has tried putting snow booties on our paws. That experience itself convinced that any other clothing attempts could risk his life.

Huffle Mawson said...

I thought it was time the Herd made it into HULA! They are my heroes.

Holly and Khady said...

Very well deserved induction of the Herd! I must say though, the Frankencouch story is my all time favorite!

Holly and Khady

JackPDB said...

What IS it with the Huskies and the bread? Our Katya will even even raw dough if it's left unattended. The weirdest thing she ever did, though, was to swipe half a loaf of unsliced pumpernickel from the kitchen counter, carry it upstairs, and tuck it into our bed. Seriously -- she arranged the sheets over it and everything. Maybe she thought she was saving it for later...?
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