Saturday, July 04, 2009

4th of July Address

First of all, I wanted to thank all of you for your words of encouragement on the progress of my human woman. I did look into euthanasia, but apparently there's some silly human law that says you can't do that. Seems a bit odd to me, but they are humans, whatcha gonna do with them?

She's making some progress. She got the tooth fixed, she's no longer covered in oozing sores, she went out and got her usual haircut back and apparently felt it necessary to accessorize with a big gray boot on her left foot. I'm thinking that its some kind of memorial to that Michael Jackson guy (he wore a glove, she's wearing a boot... who knows). She says she broke a bone in her foot and messed up her ankle and blames the innocent and entertaining Wii We all know she's a klutz on her own.

So here it is, the 4th of July. Here I am hiding in the basement with booted human woman and the Mutatoe waiting for the neighborhood humans to knock it off with the loud, scary fireworks. I was hoping that the current government had spent everyone's money and nobody had any to buy stupid fireworks, but they've probably sold their children for spare parts to get firecrackers. Nothing says fiscal responsibility like spending money on something that lasts 3 milliseconds. " OOOOH AAAAAH, dammit I should have paid the mortgage."

Its now very apparent that the obnoxious labradoodle and terriers next door have been foreclosed upon. They left the place a shambles (the posion ivy that attacked my human came creeping from their yard) and their half filled swimming pool is a mosquito all inclusive resort. My humans will be calling the health department about it, but I'm sure the human's new government will tell them that everyone has to pitch in, so if they want anything done, clean it up themselves and while they're at it, pay the mortgage on it.

I think you can tell that I'm not a happy camper about the way the new government is honing in on my world. One thing that huskies do NOT like is being told what to do and more and more this new government is telling humans what they can and can't do, how they have to fork over more and more money to do things the humans don't want done, and taking over my world little by little. I'm still rather pissed about the voter fraud that happened and robbed Turbo and Khyra of ultimate power. They would not have spent a gazillion bucks in their first few months in office, they would not be passing laws that take away our freedoms, and they wouldn't be telling us what to do all the time. Sure, Turbo would have called humans stupid and yelled at them, but that's what humans are for, isn't it?

I think its time that we dogs claw our humans into action and make them tell their government that the government works for the humans, not the other way around, and if the government wants money, they can just freakin do something to earn it like everyone else, not mandate it and enact stupid rules that make fearful humans hand over their money or face stupid consequences... its time the humans grow a backbone, otherwise, there won't be a world for us pups when we finally take over... and frankly capitalism worked for over 200 years, I don't think that's a fluke.

Well, the human gave me some sleepy liquid, so I'm going to go crawl under a desk and ride out the stupid fireworks... when its all done and your humans are all proud of their country... tell them they need to get off their ample asses and tell government to go shove their stupid cap and trade, their automobile buyouts, their stimulus bribes, their universally crapfest healthcare, their ponzi scheme social security and medicare, their czars (I'm a siberian husky and even I KNOW that the U.S. shouldn't have czars who answer to NOBODY), and their taxes that aren't really taxes but they are taxes stop pissing on my head and telling me its raining. The government works FOR you, you don't work for them so why are you giving them all of your money? It should be spent on livergreat for all of us pups.

This has been a ranting message from your queen under a table and pissed off at the fireworks.



H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

Just let me know when we'll be clawing our way to take over the government and I'll be there!

Teddy Westlife said...

Hear hear! Well wooed Meeshka.

Huffle Mawson

Anonymous said...

WOO Meeshka. We will be ready to claw at your command.

WOOOOO woo rar rar rar,
Kayla and Maebe

ThePainterPack said...

Meeshka, woo is my hero. I'll be there to claw! Just tell me when!! We should start now for 2012 and make sure Turbo and Khyra are not cheated again!!!! POWER TO THE PUPS!

Mya Boo Boo

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With Khattledog said...

Ransom's sisfur Gabby has invited me to move to Alaska -

I hear there is an opening there...

Maybe I khan infiltrate the government and see Russia from my porch!

Turbo and I tried...but hoomans rarely know good things until they bite them on the ass!

PeeEssWoo: Happy FoURth!

Yas said...

Hear Hear!!


Dexter said...

Your mom is a wreck. You might need to You Thin Ice her soon, but be sure to line up a new mom before you do it.

My momma had a robo boot when I was a pup. Made her grouchy.


The Army of Four said...

This was a brilliant post. I don't use that word often.
I'm sending my mom out to the yard for another round of "policing up firecracker pieces" out of our yard. So far, she has half a bag, not counting the pieces she yanked out of Zim's mouth. He can't resist that cordite-laced cardboard (and we aren't cardboard eaters normally!) - then of course, he horks it up. Thank you, neighbors!
You don't want to get Mom started on that. Trust me.
Tail wags,

Khady Lynn said...

Maybe we can do a million dog march on Washington and all take turns pissing on those government human's heads. I think that would be fun.


Princess Patches said...

Amen, Meeshka! We agree with every single thing you said! I think we should impeach the current government and elect Turbo and Khyra without a stupid election!

We hope your human woman's foot is better REALLY soon!

Poppy, Penny & Patches

Allison Walton said...

Amen, Meeshka!!

(and we're happy your mommee is getting better--take it easy on her, okay?)

Gus and Waldo

Jans Funny Farm said...

Oops. Have you considered putting your human on a leash before she actually hurts herself?