So, the humans were given a bunch of pills that size of a small comet that they had to make sure that I got every 12 hours. The catch is: they are extended release capsules, and I can't chew them or else they'll release too much stuff for my system to handle.
No pressure there at all. Giving a Siberian Husky two pills and not expecting them to chew. AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! It's like asking Bleeder to match her work clothes. IMPOSSIBLE.
Toast holds me on the kitchen floor, Bleeder pills. Day one, they got the first one down, but I quickly figured what was going on and managed to flick my tongue on number two and chew. They roughly removed the piece from my mouth... tried again, same thing.
She finally got a second pill in, but by that time they were a nervous wreck.
I didn't take into account that Bleeder used to do this kind of stuff in her wayback life. For the nightly pill I was unceremoniously plopped on the EXTREMELY slippery new coffee table (they got rid of my favorite chew toy and replaced it with one that had a top that lifts up to make a handy shelf to eat on... and amazingly enough is right at my head level when I sit between them for meals for long tongue stealing of french fries.)
Toast still holds me (more so to keep me from sliding off the table) and Bleeder proceeds to stick her entire arm into my throat.
At least that's what it feels like. Not once, but TWICE!
Sure I get a lot of tasty "good girl" treats at the beginning, middle, and end, but I'm not crazy about this new "routine". She could also wash her hands before that because I have no idea what she's been into.
Usually I'm a bit frisky after that, being violated and all, so I take out my frustrations on Mr. Buttons Bear... who sadly is now half unstuffed, as he spontaneously exploded.
Then I usually nap a bit, which freaks out Toast because "what kind of life is that..."
Well, yesterday or so, after my nap, I came outside where Toast was putting together some kind of gigantic lawn wheel that you add water and squish dirt with. It looks like great fun, and I decided he needed help assembling it, so when he put the piece of tasty, tasty cardboard down that held all of the tiny washers, screws, and round thingies behind a protective plastic film, I felt that was his way of saying that I would remove all of those things from the plastic by running around the yard with it.
From his reaction, I think I misinterpreted his instructions, but I was also helpful gathering up everything, but he didn't seem very pleased with that either and kept telling me to spit them out as I ran around the yard and then into the house for my afternoon nap. All parts were accounted for, and I found a very comfortable position to doze.
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