It's Not Funny

Part of the getting old process includes a lot of things wrong with the ol gastro intestinal tract, and this blog post is all about poo.

Ever since I was a tiny itty bitty puppy, I've had skin allergies in the fall.  Don't know why, but I'm pretty sure the Human Man is totally WRONG WRONG WRONG that they come from eating tasty grubs.  Chock full of protein and essential vitamins, there is just no way that grubs can be bad for you!

Anyway, like clock work I started to get all itchy again.  The Human Woman thought that meant that I needed to be combed.  Seriously, between the grub theory and the combing theory it's a wonder these two can function out in society!

I should have just put up with the combing because the next theory that dysfunctional woman comes up with is to quickly switch my food from the very tasty and perfectly fine Science Diet Sensitive Stomach food that I've eaten pretty much ALL of my life with no problems at all, to the Science Diet Sensitive Skin food.

Ok, so switching foods on a dog is fine as long as you do it gradually... let me repeat that GRADUALLY!

GRADUALLY!!!!!

Did you catch that part about gradually?  Yeah, well Human Woman either didn't, or she fell into some kind of time vortex where GRADUALLY means give a little bit of new food with old food in the morning and lunch, and then just dump a cup of new food in the bowl thereafter.

Around Saturday I started having grumbly tummy.  Loud enough that the Human Woman could hear it across the room.  Lo and behold, around 2am Sunday morning I was shrieking to be let out so I could expel the churning ocean inside my intestines.  This continued every half hour until around 9am Sunday morning until there was nothing more to be expelled and I was finally able to sleep.

Luckily the Human Woman realized the issue, stopped the new food and started feeding me tasty bland food later that day.... except....

2am Monday morning the churning masses started heaving again it was screeching and clawing to be let out every 15 minutes until about 7am.  The Human Man stayed home with me out of sympathy... or because he was so tired he couldn't function... something like that.

On the way home from work the Human Woman picked up some canned pumpkin and yoghurt to help solidify things a tad.  They both felt that I was on the mend because I didn't have any issues through the day, and what with the extra fiber and live cultures, would be good to go that night.

Sure enough, 2am rolls around and I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now... sorry about the carpet.

Tuesday morning rolls around

Human woman looked a tad bit rough as she left for work.  I did feel a bit bad for keeping the humans up for three nights with this, but then I logged into the Human Woman's Facebook account and found that she was referring to me by ridiculous names:

Mt. Poosuvius
Poonami
Poocano

After that I didn't feel so bad, especially since she had a meeting (added bonus) but so did the Human Man, so I had to stay in my crate until they could get off work and take me to the vet in the afternoon.

Normally I love my crate, but when you are stuck in a crate with an upset stomach... it causes a bit of concern, not only for my cushy fleece pillow, but the walls... the Spineless Bionic Hip Puppy, and Mutatoe... everything within a reasonable distance.

Luckily I was able to hold it and scramble out doors the moment they came home.

The Human Woman watched me closely and then proceeded to steal a sample of my incredibly icky poo when I was done.  Heh, yeah, seriously if you want that, by all means just go ahead and take it.  I saw her gag a bit.

Finally we got in the truck and went to the vet.

You weighed me, that means we can go home, right?

I tried to explain to the technician and then to the vet that there was really no need to poke, prod, or stick me with anything as they could clearly see that I was very itchy, and my stomach was upset... yet not one, but both of them stuck their hand up my delicate po-po.

The good news is that I don't have parasites, and my flora and fawna are fine, so I got some icky pills for my upset stomach (flagyl) and some other pills for my skin itch (pred), and some very tasty stinky bland food to eat (I/D).

After one upset stomach pill I was able to sleep throughout the night, much to the Human's relief, and I'm not itchy like I was before.  I do hope that my tail fluff will grow back... it got a bit pruned when I was itching it.


So, it's all good, and in a few days once I get my strength back... I'm so clawing the Human Woman for those names she called me.

- Meeshka