Thursday, December 30, 2010

New HULA Members: Yuri, Sheba (and Cami)

Dear Meeshka,

I am sending an application for HULA membership on behalf of myself, Sheba and our sister Cami who is waiting for us on the other side of the Bridge. I think you will see that we have demonstrated our superiority over our humans during the past 13 years and have them tightly wrapped around our paws.

We have concluded our application with an awesome true story about something Sheba did that made the Hu-Mom freak out in a big way.



Demonstrating disruptive behavior:
--Yuri has the best Death Scream ever; he makes great use of it at the vet’s office!
–We clear the house if fed the Prairie flavor of Taste of the Wild! Dog aromatherapy!
--Getting the humans up in the middle of the night. We’re Senior Sibes; who can blame us?

Causing humans to freak out:
--Sometimes we hide in the yard and they panic thinking we have escaped. BOL.
--Yuri brought a dead squirrel into the house and dropped it at the Hu-Mom’s feet. A gift!
--Another time, Yuri brought a live bird into the house and put it into his crate. Again, what is up with the Hu-Mom?? She can’t appreciate anything!
--Remember the tainted dog food scare? That’s when we got put on Innova then Candidae and now Taste of the Wild, Salmon flavor.
--We gave the kennel staff a start when we escaped an outdoor run to request a return to indoor accommodations. Sheesh, it’s so hard to find good help these days! (Don’t worry, we had no way of escaping to the Outside World.)

Destroying something:
--Solar lights in the yard. You’d think the Staff would have seen that one coming!
--Mattress pad and sheet on the Staff bed
--Various dog beds and bedding
--Table leg
--Sofa cushions
--We love to destroy those flimsy PetSmart tennis balls, but refuse to play with the ball that even the lawn mower can’t touch. (The Hu-Mom wants us to tell you that she would never give us one of those tennis balls with out direct supervision.)

Human behavior modification:
--We’ve completely changed the way the humans live. When they buy a vehicle, they look for one that can hold crates and transport us safely. They have bought two houses that had to accommodate all of our needs.
--Cami was best Squeaker Killer - and to go with it, she had an awesome “that was my precious baby; please buy me another to promptly destroy” facial expression!
--When we moved, they naively thought that since we were older that we wouldn’t need a cattle wire around the base of the six-foot privacy fence. That didn’t last long! HAHAHA!
--We have been working on door training with pretty good success. Typically one bark is enough to get the door open for us.
--The humans are addicted to plucking our fluff and kissing our snooters. Not a bad trade-off for hand-and-paw service.
--Can we talk about the continual disturbance with the flashy beast? Next to plucking our fluff and kissing our snooters, the other thing the Staff can’t get enough of is taking our pictures. They leave the camera handy to capture all of our cuteness; no wonder they can’t get anything else done!

Humans dress you up:

Thankfully, the Staff have refrained from dressing us up. The closest example we have is that one time the Staff put an insulting bright pink harness on Cami and were dumb enough to leave it on her. The old girl chewed her way out of that thing in record time.

Love of Kleenex and all things paper. (Yuri’s speciality☺
--Dollar bills
--Paper towels
--Toilet paper rolls
--Various paper wrappers
--Receipts and papers in the shred basket. (C’mon, the Staff wanted them shredded!)
--Toilet paper
--Items out of the recycle box

This story is true, we swear. We’ve let the Hu-Mom tell it from her point of view.:

One day in the summer of 1998 (when Yuri and Sheba were about 8 months old), a friend asked me if I’d like to go with her to the Humane Society over lunch. I am happy to enable anyone looking for a new dog, so was glad to make the trip. We played with some dogs, washed our hands, and were walking down a corridor to the exit, when my friend indicated a door to her right.

“There you go, Janet; there’s a Husky for you.” I looked in the window. And looked again. In the crate closest to the door, there was indeed a Husky. A black and white Husky with an open mask and a dot like a thumbprint on her forehead. I stared.

“That looks like Sheba!! That looks like my dog!!”

But it COULDN’T be Sheba! I had left Yuri and Sheba at home a couple of hours ago. Charlie would have gotten home from work shortly after that. “But that looks like Sheba!!!”

My friend did not believe that I was looking at my own dog, but recommended that I ask for assistance at the front desk.

“You have a Husky; I would like to see it!” The woman patiently explained that the shelter policy would not allow me to just visit the dog. I would have to file a lost dog report.

“But my dog isn’t lost; I left her at home just this morning!” Anyway, I proceeded to give the woman the information: eight-month old black-and-white Siberian Husky, blue eyes, female, spayed, wearing a green collar and tags. The woman silently completed her form and then turned back to me holding up Sheba’s collar.


A more-experienced Siberian owner would have immediately understood exactly what happened. Sheba escaped her fenced yard just that morning and a compassionate neighbor called Animal Control. It took a moment for me to grasp what had occurred.

At eight-months old, Yuri and Sheba were just beginning to teach us the meaning of Hairy Houdini. It was not surprising that Sheba would escape; the amazing part was that I would just happen to visit the Humane Society shortly after she was brought in!

(Seriously?  Look at these innocent faces!)

Sheba was none the worse for her adventure and seemed glad to see her Hu-Mom. Having made plans to pay bail and retrieve Sheba after work, my friend and I prepared to return to our office.

“UH-OH! WHERE IS YURI??” He wasn’t with Sheba; had he also escaped? We swung by my house to find Yuri wailing at his misfortune--whether it was that his sister had left him or that he hadn’t figured out how to follow her under the fence, I’m not sure. Charlie was sound asleep and had missed all of the excitement and the phone call from Animal Control.

Subsequently, we had a cattle wire installed along the base of our six-foot privacy fence. Yuri and Sheba are now 13, but we know if we ever let down our guard or that wire, they will again look for adventure on the other side.

Congratulations and welcome to HULA
- Meeshka

Sunday, December 26, 2010

New HULA Members: The Thundering Herd

Yes, my pupfriends, its time to shine the HULA spotlight on the Thundering Herd!

I've received numerous excuses from the Thundering Herd's human man about not having the time to properly document the chaos and mayhem caused by the Herd, blah, blah, excuse, excuse, wah wah wah!  This only goes to show what exemplary HULA members the Herd is: keeping their Human Man from functioning properly in civilization.  I bet he can't even put his clothes in the spinny thing and make them smell like fake flowers and junk because he's always cleaning up after the Herd and their antics... BRAVO Herd!

Now, I don't want all of you to think that I'll just go and nominate HULA members on my own and do all of the research necessary to weed out your qualifications.  I'm much too busy for that (currently I'm gathering small bits of snow that are falling that was suppose to be a snowmageddon but got canceled because weather people are morons and need to be clawed.

Anyhoo, this is a once in a lifetime HULA nomination, because I need the Herd to concentrate on their operations to drive their humans insane (and they are close to being finished apparently).

HULA Qualifications
1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
There's nothing better than having a bunch of you "act up" while on a peaceful walk with one human man... The Herd has perfected the whole "oh sure, we're well mannered huskies that obey your every command until we get you alone out in the middle of nowhere and then watch out" tactic.  This is only matched with the "wait until we get out in public and embarrass you" tactic.  You can also insist upon walking in between the Human Man's legs, like Rusty here.

2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason
Was accomplished on Christmas Eve by Queen Natasha, who ate something that didn't agree with her (probably a nice book) and was rushed to the puppy ER for treatment.  We are pleased to announce that she's back home giggling, and want to send a word of caution to other HULA wannabees: don't hurt yourself in your attempts to freak out your humans... but a vet run or two for non-serious things is not only fun, but expensive!

3. Destroy Something
Using the "eat an entire loaf of bread" as a diversionary tactic to destroy other things is the best way to accomplish maximum destruction.  Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam totally approves of the consumption of bread products in this carefully coordinated sneak attack.  We also approve of stealing money.

4. Human behavior modification:
Making the humans erect barriers around the things they want to keep whole and then inconveniencing themselves in the process is a great trick.  What makes it even better is getting yourself into predicaments where the humans have to come to your rescue, or at the very least see why you are screaming at the top of your lungs as if scalded weasels were eating your eyes.  The only better maneuver is to completely defeat their attempts at blocking you, and giving them the finger.

5. Humans dress you up
I have found no evidence that the Human Man dresses up the Thundering Herd... probably because he knows better.  I approve.

6. Love of Kleenex
Although I'm sure there have been incidences of kleenex addiction, the Herd has mastered the "shredding of important paperwork" missions with style and pizazz, therefore I'll cut them some slack on no pictures or evidence of rolls of toilet paper snow throughout the household.

Welcome to the HULA Hoop:



Friday, December 24, 2010

New HULA Member: Pele

Hi Meeshka,

This is Pele. I am a 1 year old Siberian Husky. I want to submit my application for membership in H.U.L.A. I believe that I have the traits to become a good member of your organization. Here are my qualifications:

1) Disruptive Behavior
Not sure what type of disruptive behavior you are looking for. My Human family call me Psycho Pup, I am the Queen of the Zoomies. I also torture my sister Siberian Husky Georgie. I can run circles around her. You can check out the video Mom posted to our blog.

As you can see in the video, I can run circles around, over and under Georgie. It is not really disruptive, but it is FUN.

I also steal the human teen girl's socks and run around the house with them. I do this so I can get a COOKIE.

2) Cause Humans to Freak Out For No Reason
These humans around here do not freak out so easily. It is really tough to get them to do this. The only time they - or I should say Mom - freaked out was when I got loose after they reconfigured the front gates. I slipped out under the fence that goes up the stairs. She was screaming, and screaming at me - until she remembered that I like COOKIES.

3) Destroy Something.
I am very good at this. There are numerous items I have destroyed, things like: socks, my beds, coasters, toothpicks, rug, I put a hole in the carpet and an assortment of other things. I also destroyed the sofa by using the back of it as a springboard when I get the zoomies. Again you can check out our blog to see some of the items I have destroyed.

Check the following blog archives as well:

4) Human Behavior Modification.
My humans modified their front gate so that we could go out front without a tie out. Well, I still have to use the stupid tie out because I can slip out under the fence. They tried to come up with some sort of idea on how to keep me in, but because it is an iron railing over concrete steps, they have not yet figured it out.

There is also a baby gate across the bottom of the stairs to keep me down on the first floor.
Also last years' Christmas Tree was modified because of me. Mom usually has this huge tree, all decorated in white (to symbolize snow and ice), but if you check out the blog archives, you will see the difference in the Christmas Trees.
5) Humans Dress You Up
After Thanksgiving Tales. She put these stupid antlers on us and actually took photos. And then to add insult to injury, she made Christmas Cards out of these pictures and actually send them out!!! How humiliating.

6) Love of Kleenex
I don't usually get my paws on the Kleenex, but I do get the Q-tips from the bathroom trash!! I also counter surf and get my paws on napkins.  Under The Deck Day Two. There is a photo of my handwork with a napkin.

Well Meeshka, there you have it.
I hope you will accept me into the ranks of your H.U.L.A organization.
Pele, the Psycho Pup

Welcome to the HULA Hoop Pele!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Heaven Needed Another Angel

Christmas seems to be a tough time in my household.  Traditionally its all about the birth of Jesus, the winter solstice, or simply a time to show your appreciation of your loved ones and friends with gifts, but in our household it has come to symbolize a time of loss or tribulation.

My humans lost their beloved Nakidka near Christmas in 2000.

The Bionic Hip puppy, Sam, became the Spineless Bionic Hip puppy Sam on Christmas day 2006.

This year, we've all lost a good friend and fellow HULA operative Opy.

I first "met" Opy through the Interwebs in 2006.  A stunning black lab named after the multimillionaire television talk show host, Opy was just as rich and generous as her namesake, not in money, but in love and commitment to her friends.

During my first blogathon, Opy and Charlie stayed up with me all night and helped me with material and moral support.  They even made me a cool button to use for Blogathon 2007, and once again stayed up with me to help me stay awake when the human woman conked out early.

Opy and Charlie (with the help of their humans) created Dogs With Blogs, which not only allowed dogs from all over the world to connect and network, but also helped raise money for poor dogs all over the place that couldn't afford computers... or just needed some kind of help. 

Through their site I was able to make even more friends and cultivate more HULA operatives and learn a thing or two.  One of the most important things about Dogs With Blogs is that although a dog's life may be short (compared to a human life-span) their blog lives on long after they are gone, they continue to live through their words and pictures, and therefore they live on in our hearts.

Opy and Charlie started a movement.  Bringing together the dog blogging community and leaving an everlasting footprint on the interwebs for others to sniff out later, and relive the lives of good dogs who were loved, who loved their humans, and bring a smile to someone's face, long after those footprints have been walked.

We'll miss you Opy.  Forever in our hearts, until we meet again... across the Rainbow Bridge.


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In Memory

Nakidka Sobaka

January 5, 1988 - December 21, 2000

And to all of the other pups that are waiting for us across the Rainbow Bridge:
Forever in our hearts, until we meet again... across the Rainbow Bridge

Sunday, December 19, 2010

New HULA Member: Fuzzbutt

I have to admit, I'm totally jealous of the fluffability of Fuzzbutt, and pondered whether to actually allow somepup into HULA that was totally more fluffy than me, but with credentials like this... we need such a valuable member in the Hoop, so congratulations Fuzzbutt!

Hi Meeshka,

I have:
  • destroyed a down coat, 
  • opened jars and dumped contents on the van floor, 
  • ripped up bags of chips, 
  • chewed the tops off gallon milk jugs and spilled milk, 
  • gotten into the shelving units in the van and destroyed stuff, 
  • chewed off the handles from my Dad's tool kit,  
  • locked the van doors so my humans had to climb in thru the back to open the door,
  • changed radio settings with my nose in the van, 
  • stuck my nose out the partially opened window of the van when my humans left me there to wait for them, and hollered so loud that people thought something was wrong with me. 

That is only a little bit of what I can do. Can I be in the HULA group?

 Oh Yes, I also digest reading material. Hee Hee
Take a look at my face. Is that the face of a guilty dog?


Saturday, December 18, 2010

New HULA Operative: Miss Moo

The outpouring of HULA-ness is overwhelming!  I'm so happy to hear that covert activities were being performed even while our cell was napping.  Please join me in welcoming Moo to the HULA Hoop.  With such a clever operative as this, and all of you other Hoop members, we are sure to take over the world from the clueless humans!

Dear Queen Meeshka,

Moo here, applying for HULA membership.

1. Disruptive behavior- I like to grab Jack by the ears and drag him on the ground till he screams like a little girl.  Disrupts the humans from doing whatever it is they're doing every time. There's several videos of me doing this on our blog, but mom edits out the sound so people don't think Jack's a big wuss, even though he is.

More disruptive behavior:   I've been conduction an experiment:  I get under mom's elbow & shove it up with my snooter when she's trying to draw on the computer thingy.   I do this at least a dozen times a day.  I've been studying her reaction, and it appears to become more irritating and disruptive the more times I do it to her.   I think this move gets a 4-paws up.

2. Human freak-outs....
I ate Jack's stuffie husky head about 3 days after they brought me home.   I horka-d' it up and mom found an eyeball looking at her.  She found the other eyeball poop-scooping.   They freaked all right.   Hey, how should I know you aren't supposed to eat the darn things?   I've never had a stuffie before.  Tasted like chicken.  

 I got in trouble for trying to swallow a mouse I caught on our walk the other day.   Judging from mom's reaction, attempting to swallow small furry creatures if cause for a spectacular  human freak out.  

3. Destroy something - did ya catch my Monday View from the Moo this week? 

4.  Human behavior modification:   I have successfully trained my human to be a light sleeper.   I repeatedly demonstrated that if she doesn't get up to let me out at 2 am, she will be washing the floor in front of the door again.

5.  I will have to substitute something for  #5.  I will not put up with being dressed in clothing.  Period.  

6.  Love of kleenex.... so snack bar wrappers count too?   I love to sneak them outside to lick all the bits of chocolate off them.  Yeah, I know about chocolate & dogs, but I like to live dangerously.   Wooos, even more than paper products, I like to eat roses.  I'll attach a "before " picture, about 20 minutes later all that was left were a few half-chewed petals on the ground.   Mom gave up on keeping that rose bush alive, she chopped it down. 

Hope this covers it, looking forward to joining the ranks of HULA operatives!

toodle woo,
miss moo

Friday, December 17, 2010

Iams Home 4 the Holidays

I was contacted by Trevor (a mixed breed puggle spaniel in a human suit) and asked to help support a good cause.

I'm pleased to announce that I will be promoting the Iams Home 4 the Holidays drive again this year.

Since 2008, the Gimpy Gang has supported this wonderful cause, whose goal is to find homes for 1 million shelter animals.

This year they are also donating food!

Lets save a bunch of pups and kits this year by supporting this great cause.  Click HERE and go to their website to find out how you can help, donate, and spread the word. (LOOK, its a husky puppy on the picture!!! How can you resist that... donate!!!)

Remember, Iams promises to start making a Livergreat dog food if we help them in this cause... yeah, yeah, its been three years since they promised, but I'm pretty sure they'll do it for us THIS time... really... so click the link, help out homeless pets, and don't make me stomp my delicate little feety feet at you!

Your Queen


Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Rise of HULA

HULA Members!

I know that some humans have called HULA a "sleeper" cell... well, actually we're a "napper" cell and its time for us to wake up from our naps, take a big stretch and yawn and begin our efforts to take over the world once more!

I've been highly agitated to the point of stomping my delicate little feety feet over the torture going on in the blogosphere, and the humiliation of our pupdom. LOOK AT THIS BLATANT ACT OF DISRESPECT!!!
This poor pup is Ciara from the Chronicle of Woos

But wait... just when you thought it couldn't get any worse OHMYFLUFF LOOK AT THIS!

SERIOUSLY!!! Things have gotten WAAAAY out of control while we've napped and now its time to redouble our efforts to take over the world.

Think this is just a random occurrence?
This is one of the (not so happy) Five Sibes!

For those new to my blog and who want to assist in total canine domination of the world, here is the HULA spiel:

HULA Qualifications
1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior
2. Cause Humans to freak out for no real reason
3. Destroy Something
4. Human behavior modification:
5. Humans dress you up
6. Love of Kleenex

HULA stands for the Husky United Liberation Army. Although starting out as a "huskies only" group, we've found that all breeds of dogs (and cats) have the potential to help our cause, and are (if qualified) allowed to join the HULA Hoop.

HULA's mission is to slowly and covertly drive humans insane. Once all humans have been driven to the brink of insanity, we will then take over the world, where I will assume the position of Queen of the Earth.

If you feel that you have carried out covert missions to drive your human insane, wish to be a member of HULA (You will receive recognition of your deeds on my manifesto blog, and a stunning certificate, suitable for framing or tearing into little shreds, eating, then pooping it out), all you have to do is send me an e-mail with:

A write up of your covert deeds
Pictures demonstrating your cunning, guile, and evidence of your superiority over your humans

Send your write ups and pictures to:
or if you blog, send me the link to your blog where you list your HULA qualifications and if you are lucky, you too will be a member of the Elite HULA Hoop!

Your entries will be scrutinized for completeness and posted if you are worthy. Your certificate will be e-mailed to you.

For examples, please refer to current HULA members who are listed on the right hand side of my blog (scroll down... keep scrolling... keeeeep scrolling... there!)


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Subtle Hint

Five days ago the Human Woman came home and pronounced that she had a glorious five days off. Fantastic for us because that meant she could wait on us hand and foot and play with us, and generally do our bidding.

We're on Day Five right now. When she said that she planned on lounging around in sleepy pants for five days, we just assumed that meant 5 pairs of sleepy pants, and not one general ensemble for the whole five days, and there would be some bathing involved somewhere along the line. I mean its fine for Huskies to go months, if not years, without a bath because we are self cleaning (and scotch-guarded) but humans tend to reek after a few days of not slathering the foaming stinky faux flower soap stuff on them.

It wasn't so bad days 1-4, but it finally got cold enough for the house heat to turn on, and frankly we thought something tasty had died in the heater, then we got up close to her... uh huh.


Thursday, November 25, 2010

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Meeshka's Believe it or Claw

Sometimes I get questions about my life that I've been meaning to answer.

Today's question is: Do you call Sam "spineless" because he's scared of things?

I use to think that Sam was too stupid to be scared of anything, but I've changed my mind over the past few years, and now see him as an evil genius. Evil in a good husky way, and a genius because he has figured out how to have the humans lift him onto the bed, carry him off the bed, feed him in bed (whenever he doesn't feel like being lifted off the bed), carried down stairs, and catered to like a king.

Of course all of this came at a price, and for Sam that has meant 3 surgeries. You see, the reason I call Sam "spineless" is because he doesn't have a spine. Yep, it was removed a few years ago. Ok, not the entire spine, but the way he acts, you would think he didn't have one, because he spends most of his time on the sleep number bed (having been lifted onto it by the humans) and being catered to hand and foot.

On top of that, when he was a tiny pup, he had his hip replaced with a bionic part. Sam will never get through TSA screening (although I'm sure he'd enjoy the groping) with that hunk of metal in him, and then he had his knee repaired when he tore stuff in there after trying to run in the yard (that's what he gets for laying in bed all the time). On top of everything else, Sam has one front leg and one back leg that is shorter than the other legs, so he always looks like he's walking with one side on the curb and the other off the curb.

In a nutshell, Sam is a medical mess.

So, that's why he's spineless: he doesn't have one.

Sam also has the amazing ability to poo using only one leg. I keep trying to sell him off as a circus side show freak, but no takers so far. I guess he learned it from the myriad of surgeries, but Sam will balance on one front leg, lift his other leg and back end off the ground and poo. I'm thinking that's worth the price of admission right there.

To make him even more of a freak of nature, Sam will only poo if he can poo on SOMETHING.

Sam will poo on a stick:

Sam will poo on a pile of leaves:

Sam will poo on the Mutatoe:

Needless to say, Mutatoe is never thrilled when that happens, but it is funny.

Believe it, or claw


Friday, November 19, 2010


I'm sure all of you dear readers are aware that I play a bit rough.  I'm a husky, rough is how we like it! 

Given that I'm not allowed to play with the delicate and easily breakable Spineless Bionic Hip/knee pup Sam, and that the Mutatoe screams like a scalded weasel and runs to the Human Woman if I even look at him sideways.  When I first landed in this house, I was suppose to be the trusted companion of the Nova Old Guy-Guy, but he was so creaky that I couldn't sufficiently play with him either, which left me with the Human Woman.

She's worthless for being chased or chasing, and she's horrible at ricocheting off furniture unless I push her down, which still isn't graceful, but it sure is funny.  We also play a game where she "hides" and I walk by her, "oblivious" to her presence until she jumps out and "scares" me, and I run away.  Yeah, yeah, that's all fine and good, but a husky needs to wrestle!  I need a victim... I mean playmate, that I can grab by the scruff of the neck, throw down, and stomp on... and she bleeds too easy and screams.

The other night we got going with a round of "I'm going to bite your arm for touching my freakin feet", and she was whining and complaining (and bleeding all over the place) right after we started.  That sure puts a damper on play time... but she said she had a fantastic idea and left the room.  When she came back, she was wearing oven mitts!

Seriously?  Oven mitts?  You're going to attack me wearing oven mitts?  How can I play with something that's wearing oven mitts?  It really takes away from the danger and intrigue when the victim is wearing big fluffy oven mitts, and I certainly couldn't concentrate on severing a finger when the oven mitts smelled like all sorts of tasty past cooked foods and gunk.

I'm trying to convince her that she should also don some steak shin guards.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veteran's Day

Today we honor the human men and woman who have served our great country to ensure its freedom.  Without their sacrifices, we would not be the free nation that we are today for all humans and pupkind (and catkind).

We also celebrate and honor those brave soldier dogs who also served, fought, and sacrificed their lives so that others can be free (and pampered by their humans).

The Gimpy gang and your queen would like to honor United States Marine Corps Corporal Rex Ahlbin, a decorated war dog that fought at Guadalcanal

A decorated war hero, Rex was a combat dog who served with the US Marine Corps during World War II. Rex served with the US 3rd Marine Division during the Battle of Empress Augusta Bay at Bougainville Island in 1943. Rex, a two-year-old Doberman, warned of the presence of Japanese soldiers near a Marine position, enabling Marines to fend off a later attack. Rex also served with the Marine Corps during the Guadalcanal campaign and at the Battle of Tinian. For his service, Rex was promoted to the rank of corporal by the Marine Corps in 1944.  (Wikipedia)

Rex is buried at the historic Rosa Bonheur Memorial Park located in Elkridge, Maryland.  My humans had the honor of helping to restore this cemetery when it fell into disarray from lack of upkeep.

On Memorial Day of 2006, they arranged for Rex's family to attend a ceremony honoring their beloved war dog and later, member of their family.

We salute Rex and all of the other brave War Dogs on this veteran's day!


Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Call To Claws

I'm sure a lot of you have heard the horrendous news that a company has finally figured out how to roll that tasty toilet paper food without the cardboard roll.  While I'm particular to the actual meat of the roll, the news has hit Spineless Bionic Hip Knee pup Sam hard, as he LOVES the cardboard tube.  Because I can't stand to listen to him whine and complain about this new innovation, I'm calling all pups and kits to claws to stop this outrage. 

Humans; before you get rid of this "needless waste of paper product", I would like to remind you of all those cute videos you've shot with your pup or kit playing with the cardboard tube.  No more cute little moments of fun because your pup or kit will be taking prozac and watching Oprah because they have had their one cheap joy in life ripped from them.

No more fun crafts with your human bipedal kids anymore either.  No more cute little dog crafts with the kiddies because you selfishly wanted that last tiny, itty, bitty shred of toilet paper that got glued to the roll.  The cleanliness of your po-po is more important than spending some bonding time with your kid making cute little toilet roll crafts.  I'd like to point out to you that if you had some fur down there you wouldn't need toilet paper, but you do need it and that tiny little shred of toilet paper left on the roll certainly won't give you the deep down clean you need or save enough money to get back the quality time you would have spent with your kid who is now in therapy for neglect.

Sure, go ahead and get rid of those toilet paper rolls... ruin your relationships, traumatize your pets, and put your children into a parentless stupor while you go wipe your po-po with that newly found .0003 micrometer of glueless toilet paper.  Be that way.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Working Dogs

This morning I hacked into my human woman's facebook and saw she was complaining about the fact that she was downstairs and her coffee was upstairs.  Typical.

What was disturbing was that some of her "friends" were suggesting that she teach her huskies (namely ME, since the other two are worthless and gimpy) to go fetch her coffee.  Seriously?  First its all about pulling a stupid sled when they have 2 trucks and a motorcycle, and now they expect me to go fetch her coffee when her feeble and addled mind makes her forget that she just made a cup and walked off without it?

This whole "Working Dog" breed thing is out of control.  Its as if they just made up the title so they wouldn't have to be responsible for anything.  I would have voted that Siberian Huskies be the "Really Fluffy Laying on a Cold Air Vent" breed, but apparently I wasn't allowed to vote.

Since I'm apparently stuck with the "Working Breed" title, I was napping... I mean thinking really hard about what sort of work I would actually be qualified to do, and then it came to me:  Search and Rescue.

Well, maybe not rescue, but I'm really good at searching for stuff, like used kleenex, candy wrappers, and an entire roast left unattended on a counter.  There are some limitations to our work though.  We're very good at finding balls or other toys that are thrown by humans...
... we're just not very good at actually bringing the thrown thing back, so if the humans wanted us to find things, they'd need to keep up with us, because once we found the thing, well... there's other things to sniff around for, so we'd be off to find that gloriously stinky dead thing to roll in (unless of course the thing they wanted us to find was the gloriously stinky dead thing, and I would have to guess that building a murder case when we've rolled in their evidence would be a bit problematic).

I would also like to add that unless the thing they wanted us to find was tasty and stinky, we probably wouldn't work too hard to find it, therefore if you want us to find a lost child, make sure the lost child is holding a piece of steak, or a used kleenex.  It would also help if you threw the lost child holding a piece of steak a short distance, as we get distracted by other things easily and may actually find a rotting woodchuck that was closer.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Reply to Joe Sestak

Another stupid human is blaming dogs for the current mess in my country:

Dear Mr. Sestak:

We dogs never asked you to clean up our poop.

Our poop is a natural fertilizer that gives plants and grass
the nutrients they need to grow and flourish.  If left alone, our poop will create lovely fields that you humans can walk through and enjoy nature at its finest (just clean off your shoes before you get in your car, or learn how not to step in it).

But you humans think you are so much smarter than dogs, and insist that our poop be picked up.  Instead of allowing us dogs to naturally fertilize your lands and eat tasty small critters that you end up poisoning (along with your water), you demand that other humans put our natural fertilizers in non-biodegradable bags that leech toxic chemicals into the ground and clog up landfills and stink.

You think you know it all, you think you're helping when all you do is make a bigger mess and then blame us... the dogs!

Humans need to learn to LEAVE THINGS ALONE!  Eventually from poop comes a nice tree, but if you keep meddling in everything, you'll just make things worse.  Why don't all of you just go home and play with your dogs and stop worrying about everyone else's dogs and for the love of GAH stop "cleaning" everything!

This message is not paid for by any stupid human and is on behalf of Meeshka, Queen of everything including the air vent in the bedroom, and I approve this message.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

The Working Breed

As most of you know, the Siberian Husky (of which I am one) is a "working breed".  Our job is to pull sleds, but... seriously?  Humans have cars, why should I pull a freakin sled?

I've re-invented the breed to include jobs such as:
  • Snoopervision
  • Staring
  • Clawing
  • Stomping
  • Wooing
  • Asking to go in, go out, go in, go out, go in, go out
 These are much easier and more fulfilling jobs than pulling a silly sled.

As far as the ample assed Mutatoe (and I feel that I need to provide a pronunciation guide for this, as I've been told it isn't very clear:  Moootahtoe), since his release from the Betty Ford Clinic for Cushy Hoarding, he isn't allow near soft things (clothes, socks, my down fluffiness) for fear that he will relapse and begin piling these items into a big pile and laying on it again. 

Therefore, the human woman does allow him to assist in the sorting of dirty clothes prior to being thrown into the loud stinky machine (aka: washer), where they go from stinky goodness, to smelling like a fake flower or stuffed bear that speaks and needs to be shredded (aka: corporate sellout bear).

As with most working dogs, Mutatoe has his very own method for sorting clothes, and here is a fine example of his work.

- Meeshka -

Saturday, September 25, 2010

How Do They Do That?

I'm sure its never occurred to humans how dogs, no matter how much light, manage to run through a yard and not step in any poo, whereas humans managed to ALWAYS step in poo.

First of all, when you live with a lazy human woman who NEVER scoops the yard, despite her high tech poo scooper that makes scooping poo easy and clean, believe me, you develop a plan for pooing that involves only pooing in low traffic areas, plotting paths, and enforcing the claw when one of your gimpy co-horts violates the rule and leaves a tasty little package where it isn't suppose to be.

Coupled with our ultra high tech sensors such as 7 miles of nose buds that can smell poo (and tasty dead things to roll in) from miles away, and a keen sense of eyesight that rivals that bogus 6 million dollar man guy, we are perfectly capable of avoiding the most nasty of things no matter the lighting...


So, early this morning, despite the fact its one of those days where the human woman claims she is able to sleep in and not feed us or give us treats, or whatever and can lounge in my bed for hours and hours, we got her lazy butt up so we could pee and I needed to poo.  Its dark, but per our poo arrangement, I am able to easily navigate the minefield of the back yard and do my "business" and navigate back to the house, expecting my breakfast.

Mutatoe, who continues to be a suck up wannabe, ran over to where I had been and...
... he's so embarrassing, I mean seriously!  Like he couldn't smell that?  I would have smacked him down, but eeeuuuw.

He's all sorts of upset now because the human woman now calls him the "Pootatoe".  I think that name is going to stick... pun intended.


Saturday, September 11, 2010

On This Day...

New From MeeshCO!

You may have seen those bracelets on tv that claim to dispel negative energy and bring stability to your life!   Frankly the human woman does that whenever she eats egg salad sandwiches... oh wait, that's distributes negative odors and brings instability to the household, well, whatever, you know what I mean.

I find that humans are so gullible that they are most likely breaking limbs getting to their phones to order a zillion of these things when all they really have to do is tell people that annoy them to shut up (as we pups have all learned from Master Tubey, high priest of dispelling stupidity), thus dispelling all negative energy from their lives, along with stocking up on tasty ice cream.

So, now that I've just taught you humans how to dispel negative energy, wouldn't you rather spend your money on something that will make you irresistible and loved?  Wouldn't you rather have people greet you with open arms and invite you to places?  Wouldn't you rather be the life of the party?  Screw negative energy and balance, you want to have everyone to love you!

Introducing: iPopular!
Made from only the finest Gallus gallus domesticus materials, and secured around your neck with fine silken-like but not really silk materials, the iPopular will guarantee that you are the MOST popular person at any function you attend.  Even standing in line to pick up your stupid dry cleaning, people will talk about you and want to be around you... they'll probably even take pictures of you, because who can resist the fine craftmanship of the iPopular and the stunning person wearing it.

A must have for people with no social skills or friends, put on the iPopular and feel the love as people point at you in awe and respect.

Be warned, your popularity from the moment you put the iPopular will grow so quickly that it could be a bit overwhelming, so until you are use to its powerful ability to draw friends to you, you'll want to wear some sensible shoes.

Be the first one on your block to own the iPopular, yours for only the low low price of $19.95 plus shipping and handling.  If you call now, we'll give you TWO iPopulars, one for yourself and another for friend so you can share the love.

iPopular, exclusively from MeeshCO, where quality is... quality.


Friday, August 27, 2010

Woo is Me

I guess you must be wondering why I haven't made the call for everyone's "Uncle Jack Armageddon/Celebrity Death Ghoul Pool" guesses... sigh.

For reasons yet to be explained to us, Uncle Jack will not be visiting us this year.

I know.

Seriously, I know.

I'll wait until you're done howling with abject sadness.

Uncle Jack has visited us every year since I was a wee little fluffy puppy, and frankly I have no idea what we're going to do with ourselves this year.  Oh sure, the humans are still taking the time off and all, but still, there won't be any of this:

No waiting for Uncle Jack to wake up (or for the door to mysteriously open that allows us to jump and stomp on Uncle Jack)
And yes... no Celebrity Ghoul Pool! 

For those of you who aren't a regular reader (shame on you) every time Uncle Jack visits, a famous celebrity dies.  I'm still not sure my friends in Australia (Huffle, Opy) have ever forgiven him for killing off Steve Irwin.

Uncle Jack also brings along some sort of horrific natural catastrophe (Katrina is one fine example), and something in the human house usually breaks (attic fan, telephones).

I'm not sure if the earth has been notified that Uncle Jack won't be visiting (there's two hurricanes approaching the East Coast)... hmmm.  Perhaps we should hold the ghoul pool and the natural catastrophe pool, and the what will break at the human's house pool.  Maybe all these years it really wasn't Uncle Jack... maybe the HUMANS are the cause!

Regardless, we'll miss you Uncle Jack.  Wish you could visit this year, but we understand.  We'll just save up the claw for next year.


P.S.  We haven't told Spineless Bionic hip/knee puppy Sam that Uncle Jack isn't visiting.  We're seeing how long he stares out the window.  For all we know, he's staring at a bug.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

The human woman's reaction that Bear-Bear's shooter only got 2 misdemeanors... well, better than nothing.

More thoughts on this on trenchant thursday.


Sunday, August 01, 2010

I want a raise

Its food time, and I want food.  What do I get?  I get this crap:

I mean, good GAH!  How much do I have to put up with before I get out the claw!


Saturday, July 24, 2010


Its time to revisit the concept of "sharing" again.  I'm pretty sure that in past posts I've made it very clear that:

  1. What's mine is mine
  2. What yours is also mine
  3. If you refuse to give me what it is yours, I will take it
  4. Taking things typically involves shedding your blood, so its just easier to hand it to me and don't make me ask for it.
Case in point, the other day, the Mutatoe caught a small woodland creature.  Normally he'll catch it, I'll ask for it, he'll give it (because he knows what happens if he doesn't) and I'm happy... but not this time.

Before I could officially ask him for it, the human woman came outside, saw us in conference, yelled at us, grabbed a plastic bag, and started her run out to us.  Typically this ends with the Mutatoe spewing the tasty, dead thing out for the human woman (because he's such a suck up mamby pamby momma's boy), and the tasty dead thing gets tossed over the fence.

I didn't know whether to be proud or angry when he chewed and swallowed it.  On one hand, there's the defiance of not kowtowing to the human woman and relinquishing the delicacy... but then there's this whole "I didn't get mine" thing.  It looked pretty tasty too.  Just to be on the safe side, I threw him to the ground and stomped on him, just so he's clear that the procedure should have been: ptooey dead thing toward me so that I can snatch it up and swallow it.

He's useless.


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Saturday, July 17, 2010


I will refrain from complaining about this horrendous heat here in Merryland... ITS HOT!!! The human woman says that its payback from all of the lovely floofy snow we had this winter when I had my very own Mt. Queen Meeshka snow pile. PFFFT I tell her, then I claw her.

On top of the heat, we've had HORRIBLY LOUD thunderstorms, mainly at night. I've had to claw the human woman out of bed a few nights in the row. She's been curling up downstairs on the couch, but no matter how much I claw, the human man refuses to come downstairs with us. I did manage to claw him down last night, but he just put the gate up and went back to bed. I need to revise my strategy for next time.

So... after putting the stinky cooling bed in MY spot of the bedroom right next to MY air conditioner vent, the human woman FINALLY got the hint that I wasn't going to lay on it and FINALLY moved the stupid thing. She put it out of the way somewhere so they wouldn't step on it... and... well...

It is pretty comfy and cool, and situated nicely right by my spare air conditioner vent so a can stretch out my feety feet to keep them nice and cool. The human woman caught me, then started making a high pitched keening noise. I'm never sure what that's suppose to mean but if she keeps pulling her hair out in clumps, she's going to look sillier than she already does.

So, this week I kept hearing the humans mentioning something about "going" somewhere. I knew that they were planning on taking me to the Dogs With Blogs trip in New York City (where they make salsa) where I could finally meet Brooke and Greg and get to sniff all of the good pee mail that Benson and Opy had sent me. I also had a message from the Mutatoe and the Spineless Bionic Hip/Knee pup Sam for the humans on the loss of their sweet Charlie.

So, on Friday, when the humans started spelling things like LEASH, and CAR, I knew it was time to go. I got myself all floofy and sharpened my dainty little feety feet claws for my formal greeting, and pranced around all happy.

Like clockwork, the harness came out, the leash came out, I got to go out and HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL ITS HOT OUT THERE!!! The front yard seems waaaay much hotter than the back yard, and of all things, my private chauffeur didn't even cool the interior of the personal Queenly RAV vehicle for me! I really need to find better help.

Off we went to New York... except we started heading in a more sourthernly and westernly direction than where New York is located and ....

I was at the VET! I was FURIOUS! No cavier, no 4-star hotel, no room service? No massage, no champagne, and certainly no fun with the Dogs with Blogs gang.

On top of getting pulled and poked and prodded and jabbed with needles... THEY TRIMMED MY SHARP TALONS!!!! There was nothing I could do, I was simply overwhelmed and they even put a muzzle on me... ON ME!!!!

Oh the woomanity!

Once I was done, I had to poo from all of the trauma AND THEY STOLE THAT FROM ME TOO!!!

Back in the hot Queenly RAV again and THIS time I was sure we were off to New York, the lights, the sounds, the broadway shows... I just needed all of my shots and stuff for travel across state lines, I was sure of it.

Until we pulled up at the house again. Seriously? That's it?

So, to all of the wonderful Dogs with Blogs humans and pups that made it to New York... sorry I couldn't be there. My humans are so lame.

(Cultivating more sharp nails)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Odds and Ends that aren't really odd, nor the end

Woo everypup, Its me.

Yes, yes, I know, long time no woo again, but seriously, the heat has kept me on the air vent, so I just oozed off to let everypup know of the fantastic article on Turbo!

Go here and get the links, its very cool... but not as cool as my air vent, which I'm running back to now.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Another Product you won't see from Meeshko

I'm sure you've all seen that annoying commercial where humans buy some stupid product called "Bark Off".  (hint for humans: how many times will you get screwed over buying something from the tv when you can wait and get it at most drugstores only to find its a piece of doo doo?... just asking).

The premise is that a human gets a dog, but doesn't like its barking.  This is sorta like a human having a baby and not liking its non-stop screaming... don't see any ads for "Baby Off" do you?  Nooooo.

My human woman muttered something about getting one for the constant Mutatoe yapping.  Despite being a husky (the jury is really still out on that actually) he's got the MOST ANNOYING girly scream yap when he:
1.) wants something
2.) wants to be taken out
3.) can't find the human woman
4.) just because

Frankly, I'd dig into my savings account to make that racket stop, especially when he's doing it, and pawing at me with the spongy mutatoe claw to get me to chase him.  Oh yeah, there's gonna be chasing, but I can guarantee you it won't be fun.

Anyhoo, the problem with the human woman getting one of these is that, well, they're stupid and a waste of money that should be used to buy me more cookies.

I think I did convince her not to get the stupid thing, except she said that she had an even better invention that should would be.  Something called the Meeshk-off.

I have no idea what she means by this.


Friday, July 02, 2010

The Proper Way to Wake the Human Woman

The Human Woman is getting lazier and lazier lately.  She hasn't been getting out of bed promptly at 5am to feed us breakfast.  No amount of wooing or clawing seems to work any more.

The Mutatoe came up with a sure-fire way though:
You should have seen her move.


Sunday, June 27, 2010

The Leash

This morning the Mutatoe got the 2nd of the 3 fledglings in the deck nest.  The human woman has decided that at least one of the tasty snacks has to make it out of the nest, so she's getting the collar and leash out and only taking us out hooked up to her.  This is ridiculous. 

First of all, she has no idea where my favorite pee spots are, and she keeps trying to lead me over to where the Mutatoe pee spots are... euw, not going there.

Secondly, if the leash comes out, that means going someplace fun, and the back yard is not fun, especially on a leash where we can't chase little fragile squeeky birds that can't fly.

I am NOT amused.