Saturday, June 20, 2009

I'm watching You

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema
I see that the neighbors aren't sorting their recycling, which is apparently why the whole neighborhood is under double secret recycling monitoring probation thingie, or whatever the human woman is ranting about.

Stupid cat is pooping in my flower bed again. I've told the human woman to let me out and I'll take care of that problem, but no. I guess I'll just have to throw myself at the big picture window every time it happens.

Oh, hey, old neighbor human, if you're going to walk around nude, please close the curtains... seriously.... even Shar Pei dogs aren't that disgustingly wrinkly.

I wonder if we're having grilled food today.


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Just Keeps Getting Better

She can barely walk because the Wii has messed up her ankles (so she claims).
She's covered in red bumps from poison ivy and going insane from the itch
She's now taking steroids for the itch so she's more nutty than usual and has to pee all the time.
She broke a tooth yesterday.

We found this nice soothing jacket for her to wear until she gets better. Shhh, say nice things to her in a soothing voice, you don't want to start the keening and high pitching wailing again, it hurts our ears.

Friday, June 05, 2009

HULA Political Update

You may recall our failed attempts to infiltrate the American elections with our own HULA operative. We truly do feel that a canine with experience can make better decisions than any human.

We had sent one of our best HULA operatives to specialized human training. “Windswept Siberian Snowfall of the Wunderlands“ AKA ”Britches“ AKA Governor Tim Pawlenty was found out when the Bangledeshi spun human suit failed under adverse conditions during a ”meet and greet“.

We truly did feel that once Britches was found out, the humans would never fall for it again, but we’ve found that humans have a memory that lasts about 1 month long and you can actually fool them more than once with the same thing. It truly is amazing their gullibility and lack of long term memory.

This time, we commissioned the suit to be spun from Chinese worms, and paid top dollar to ensure that the silk did not contain melamine or lead or anything else toxic and harmful, and it appears to be holding out quite well, even during moments of great stress, such as press conference saying he was not running for Governor a third term and leaving the press to slather about his chances for President in the next election.

We feel that with the suit now performing as expected, and with Britches really living the role of a human, we stand a chance at winning over what is left of the country in 2012... except for that pesky Mayan calendar ending thing in which case... never mind.