Sunday, January 29, 2006

Mystery Woman

For a few years now, some mystery woman has been living in the house and we can't find her.

We know she's here, and her job is to announce whenever a door is open, we just can't find her. A door opens, she yells "FAULT, BASEMENT DOOR", we run down there to try to find her, but she's gone. We can't even smell her. Its very annoying that someone is in the house and we can't claw her. Does she have treats? Why doesn't she smell? Where is she hiding? We will find her.

I've been particularly annoying lately for no reason. My po-po area is matted, so I sit on the human woman's head in hopes that she will do something about it. I can't be cute and fluffy if my po-po area is matted. I've also been clawing the human woman for no reason. This is fun. Claw. Human woman gets up to take me out, I lay down and laugh at her. She sits down. Claw. Human woman gets up to take me out... you get the picture. Sometimes I modify it. Claw, human woman gets up to take me out, I get up, walk 2 steps then skitter back under the desk and laugh. Its great fun.

At this time, I want to send a happy claw hello to Gail and Earle (at least the human woman thinks that is their names, she's met so many people she can't keep their names straight, so apologies if that's not their names) who apparently enjoy my words of wisdom. They are helping the human man and woman clean up that pet cemetery, which we are thankful for their help, but an added bonus is that they found out about it by reading my blog. It takes a husky to spread the word, so all of you husky readers in Maryland, tell your humans to get out there and pitch in to clean up that cemetery! Even though you can't go and play there, when your humans do get home from helping, there are some wonderful smells on their clothes for you to enjoy!

Meeshka (claw, skitter)

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Whacky Weather

Last night we had ANOTHER thunderstorm! Its suppose to be snowy and quiet, but we've had nothing but sunny almost warm days, then cold days, the rainy days, then thunder days, and today it snowed a little bit, but nothing for us to play in.

As you already know probably, I DON'T LIKE THUNDER! It is very bad! I had to rake the human woman out of bed so she would go downstairs and be safe. I watched and made sure she fell asleep on the couch from the safety of my crate. Loki came downstairs after a bit (because he's a suck up) and slept on the end of the couch with the human woman, but I stayed awake (sorta) to make sure she was safe and still on the couch.

Around 2am, after the thunder had left, the old Nova guy came down and woke up the human woman by planting his cold nose on her face. She sure did jump up quick. After he went out, we all went upstairs and hogged the bed again because it was safe once more.

Thanks to my quick thinking and actions, the humans are once again safe.

I have no idea what they did before I arrived to save them.

Thunder Queen

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Food Conspiracy!

I've discovered solid evidence of a food conspiracy going on in my house.

I wrote earlier that I've smelled strange human smells on the old guy Nova's mouth after we've come in from a hard night of guarding the yard from small fuzzy creatures. Well, tonight I have almost positive proof that food is being fed to the old guy Nova while we are outside!

Case in point: potato chip remnents on Sam's bed!

The human man took Sam and showed him his bed. At first we all laughed because we thought he did something wrong and was being sent to bed, but we distinctly heard crunching sounds coming from the bedroom. The human woman wouldn't allow us to go in and investigate like we are bred to do until Sam came back out of the bedroom. Once again, he had potato chip smell on his mouth.

Loki went in to investigate and sure enough, potato chip residue on Sam's bed, on Sam's mouth, and on the old guy Nova's mouth! The nerve of them!

Loki got very upset and began yelling at Sam, and Sam yelled back at Sam, then the bouncing and posturing started. I went in to break it up because the humans weren't having much luck and Loki ran head first into the door. He yelped, and of course when the mutant little wussy yelps, the world stands still.

So, Sam and Nova old guy got potato chips, Loki bashes his head into the door and gets all sorts of attention, and here I am... with nothing!

I would protest and refuse to eat my bedtime goodies, but they'd just feed them to the old guy Nova, bionic hip Sam, or mutant pawed gimpy Loki. Sigh.

Its not easy being perfect and fluffy, I get no respect.


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

We got pork chops!

Ok, the humans didn't actually GIVE us pork chops, but Loki and I just happened to find some on top of the stove while the human man was at the computer, and the human woman was out playing with Sam.

That will teach them both not to leave us alone when food is out. Serves them right.

I've also discovered that while we're outside saving the yard from evil small creatures, the humans are inside feeding the old guy Nova whatever people food he wants. I distinctly smelled cheesy pasta noodles on the human woman's mouth, and then smelled the exact same cheesy pasta noodles on Nova's mouth when we came inside.

Can you believe it??? Sure he's old and deserves some good treats, but what about us? Are we less important? Do we have to get really old before we reap the benefits of good human foods?

So, in our defense, the pork chops were just sitting out there on the stove, unguarded, and we just thought that since everyone else got a goodie human treat, that they had just forgotten to put those goody treats in our bowls. So we took them.

I was still chewing mine when Loki got greedy and knocked the pan onto the floor, alerting the humans to our little feast. The human woman ran up and demanded that I "trade up". Yeah, right... what could you possible offer me that was better than a pork chop? That's what I thought, so I ran, jumped on the bed and finished off my treat.

Now that we know something is going on while we're outside, we're parking our butts under the chairs to catch any little falling pieces we can. You can't fool us!

Meeshka (pork chops taste good!)

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Just Another Weekend

The human man and woman stayed home on friday, went out, came back, we played in the yard, the usual routine.

Saturday they went out, we played, we ate, we napped, the usual routine.

Sunday, the usual routine... sigh.

The old guy Nova hasn't needed his purse ensemble for a few days, he's walking much better. Not that I hope he ever needs it again, but the human woman has promised that she'll snap a picture for me.

Today I had an embarrassing thing happen. Apparently I'm so cute and fluffy that poop crusted on my delicate po-po. The human woman had to entice me into the bathroom (they can't fool me, that's where all the bad things happen, like baths, and medicines), and finally the human man carried me in there. I was a good girl though, allowed the human woman to clean me up back there. After all, I can't have my fans thinking that I'm unclean. Now I have clean po-po.

We had a thunderstorm the other night. Its very strange to have a thunderstorm this time of year, so I was especially diligent in clawing and biting on the human woman to wake her up and save her from the danger. Whenever there is thunder, I must wake the humans up first by staring at them, then by clawing and wooing, then by nosing them out of the covers, so that they go downstairs where it is safe and more quiet.

The human man went downstairs this time, slept on the couch with me. I was very angry at the human woman and the other pups for not helping me guide them to safety. I ignored the human woman for a good 15 minutes until she gave me a used kleenex to make up for her mistake.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Old Guy Nova

I just wanted to post really quickly that its really hard not to make fun of the old guy lately.

The human woman went out and bought him this harness thing that has handles on it to help him walk. He's not doing very well lately, and he keeps pacing and stumbling and stomping on us. We get cranky with him, but we know he's old and doesn't feel good. But its really hard not to laugh at him when he's dressed as a purse.

The human woman walks him around holding onto the handles, and I swear, it looks like she's carrying a big Nova purse.

Ok, that's really mean, he can't help it... but he does look like a purse.

(I'm cranky, my beauty sleep keeps getting interupted by the 2 hours Nova wake up calls)

Human Linguistics

There has been much chatter on the human list about words we huskies understand. Simple humans, we understand them all, we just choose not to listen to you.

Some humans described how they had to spell out words so their huskies wouldn't know what they were talking about. Walk seems to be the most spelled, or twisted into another meaning to keep us from knowing what they're talking about.

The human woman must think that we're just a bunch of idiots because she says things twice.


Just a few examples of her moronic human-speak that I have to put up with.

She also says these things in a high pitched voice, like that is suppose to motivate us. Yeah, it motivates me to rake her bare leg with my finely honed claws because its annoying.

She also says "do you have to go out", but she says the out part like "do you have to go owwwwwwwwt?" Like we wouldn't know what out meant?

We happen to know everything you're saying humans, its just that we key in on the stuff that pertains to US. What is in it for US? Sure we seem excited about going for a walk, you sit in a crate for hours not peeing and see if you get excited when someone opens the door. You've been out all day sniffing butts at the place you call work, while we languish in our cells for hours at a time.

I'd wish they start trying to explain how we know (even if they try to hide it) that one of us will be going for a car ride. How (without the use of a watch because the humans are too cheap to buy us one) we know when they're coming home, or how we know which car door slamming is them.

How do we know when its time to eat?
How do we know when its time for our walks?
How do we know when its time for bed?

Um, hello are you that stupid? We're listening, and we understand, and most importantly... we rule the house and you are actually just doing what we've trained you to do.


silly humans

(go fetch me a cold beverage and a kleenex now)

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Operation: Total Bed Domination

The Husky United Liberation Army (HULA) has been hard at work lately on OPERATION: TOTAL BED DOMINATION.

Operative Nova (code name: old guy with butt tumor) has been instrumental in carrying out our plan for total bed domination.
Nova yells to go outside every 2 hours. The humans, still leery about the Poo Tsunami incident will jump out of bed and take him outside. Once the humans have vacated their bed space, the other operatives move into action and sprawl across the now vacant bed space. Nova meanders around the yard for hours, the humans begging him to come back in, but not wanting to rush him for fear of another poo incident. Meanwhile, we lounge in comfort on the vacated bed space.

This plan is BRILLIANT and working great each night.

The humans thought they would outsmart us though. They will never learn that they can't ever outsmart us huskies!

The other night, the humans blew up that pathetic thing called an "air mattress" downstairs. They thought that if Nova was downstairs, he would sleep throughout the night. Even if he had to go outside, they would be much closer to the back door and could "nap" while he was outside meandering around.

We certainly couldn't let them win this battle. If they could sleep all night on that crappy air mattress, they would, and there's no room on that pathetic thing for all of us, even if we did want to sleep on that poor excuse for a bed.

Operative Sammy (code name: sandpaper feet), had a brilliant idea and put his plan into action. Using the couch as a springboard, he launched himself off of the couch and onto the humans and the air mattress. Not only did this disturb the humans, but it actually was FUN! We took turns jumping on the couch, then leaping onto the air mattress (and humans). they were not amused by our fun.

When that didn't seem to deter them from sleeping downstairs, we proceeded to walk all over them throughout the night. Around 2:30am they had enough and herded us back upstairs onto our rightful cushy bed and went to sleep. Ten minutes later, Nova sprang into action and demanded to be let outside again, and we dominated the bed once again.

The humans continue to plot and scheme for a way to get a full night's sleep, but as long as HULA operatives are on the scene, it will never happen.

Meeshka (code name: fluffybutt)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

A Disgrace to us ALL!

Every husky, every dog, and every cat! ATTENTION!

The human woman and man came home today very distraught because they had just visited a local pet cemetary where the humans have allowed it to decay, rot and grow over!

The Rosa Bonheur Memoral Gardens pet cemetary is owned by evil and sick people who don't care that trees have fallen on the graves, that grass and weeds have grown so thick the humans had to dig to find them, and most are totally obscured! Memorials are sunken into the ground, damaged, and the sacred memories of loved pets like you and are are soiled and destroyed.


I call on all of you to do something about this! The humans in charge claim they can't do anything, even though there are rumors that the owners are planning to sell the land to put a strip mall on it! What will become of these loved ones????

I urge all of you to visit the site, there is a link that the human woman put on there that will tell you how to contact the Maryland Attorney General so you can tell him to DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!

There is also a link to sign a petition that will be sent to him, and also the humans plan on gathering people and equipment this spring to clean this sacred place of rest up, depending on the outcome of the actions by the state.

Please, I beg of you, don't allow our fellow pets to be remembered like this!

Meeshka (stomping feet mad)