Sunday, July 18, 2021

I Eat Everything

 My name is Casey and I eat everything.

When I say everything, I mean everything. 

Most huskies like to rip things up, like paper, and paper towels, and toys, and balls, and sticks, and leaves, and stuffed animals ... that's making me hungry. I like to do that too, except I eat them.

Bleeder and Toast say I'm not normal. I'll turn my nose up at gourmet carefully prepared foodables with gravy, and go out and eat a huge stick, or some grass, or that tasty hornet.

I'll rip my toys up, and try to eat them. Anything on the ground... fair game and edible.

See this soccer ball... I ate it

Some will say "oh, she has to have some kind of dietary thing or blah blah blah", nope, I just eat things that are tasty to me. I'll eat a full bowl of food and go out and snack on a stick. It's fun to crunch on and heck, while i'm at it, IMMA GONNA EAT IT. I'll rip up paper towels and eat them. That paper packaging that comes in the boxes that contain new toys for me... rip up and eat it.

The other day I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me and I horka'd my entire lunch. Bleeder said "of course this won't teach you not to eat things in the yard", as I'm trying to eat my reheated lunch. She stopped me and cleaned it up. Perfectly good lunch... gone.

Then for dinner I got some sort of bland rice concoction. Seriously, what is this mess? It was actually tasty and I ate it and kept it down, but it was just a small portion. They said I'd get more in an hour if I kept it down, but an hour in dog time is like 7 hours, so I felt the need to take matters into my own hands and look on the OHMYGODGETOFFTHEOVEN, and GETOFFTHECOUNTERSBADDOGBADDOG. I was so desperate that I started licking Toast's shirt because he's kind of a messy eater and his shirts are rather tasty. When he didn't seem to appreciate that, I stomped all over Toast and launched myself at Bleeder to get them to feed me more. That worked. Lesson learned there.

Yesterday we went on a grand road trip to some place. 

First I allow my royal subjects a chance at seeing me in my glorious ride.

Then I take a nap, because car rides make me sleepy.

It was exciting. I got to meet and leap on new people, and investigate new places, and found a rather lovely parking lot that was prime for a healthy poo... easy clean up. The owner of the place has a tiny little dog that sounds an awful lot like one of my squeaky toys, so we didn't get to play, but the owner did show us a very lovely shaded pee and poo area up the street where she took her tiny squeaky toy to do her biz. There were birds... I like birds. I bet they're tasty.

Most of the day was spent waiting. Waiting is stupid. After I sniffed the entire waiting area and tried to lick the discarded dribbles of hand sanitizer off the floor, apparently NOT desired behavior, I was expected to sit and watch tv. Seriously, we could have just stayed home for that. The floor was nice and cool though, and once in a while someone would come in, look at me... hesitate, then gently walk well away from me. I think they were scared of me. I don't know why. I'm doing my best leaping and straining against my leash COME PET ME dance. Bleeder says I need to work on being more subtle. I have no idea what that is.

I think this is pretty subtle... stalking them from a distance.

I got to chew on my emotional support chicken. I have no idea how it's wing became detached, but ES Chicken disappeared. I'm assuming it's at the hospital getting a wingectomy. 

Finally my ride had been detailed and spiffied up because I can't be seen driving around in a ride that's dirty, and we drove home. I was exhausted from the heat and excitement and slept with my head in front of the cold air vent. 

Even when we got home I was exhausted and slept for a few hours until it was nearly bed time and then I was all refreshed and made Toast and Bleeder play with me, which they really love. 

By the way, here is one of my first pictures when I came here to live

and here's me today. Aren't I stunning!

In front of the GETOFFTHESTOVE

Sunday, July 11, 2021

Let's Talk About the Humidity

 I'm not a big fan of this weather! It's too hot. 

I'm a Northern Breed and I demand cold weather, and snow, I want snow. None of this FEELS like 110 degrees with 1500% humidity stuff where I live.

Not only that, but for some odd reason, the Bleeder tried to put a pretty princess costume on me. It's not very pretty, and I am a princess, so I know pretty and I know princess, and the drab gray onesie she tried to snap me into was not pretty or princess-like. I've seen prison garb on tv that was prettier. She said that I might need to wear it soon during the Spaycation. I'm not exactly sure where we're going on this spaycation, but if I have to wear that outfit... eeesh.

There's too much change going on around here, what with my day-time crate time. I used to just lounge around the house all day while Toast worked. Sure, I demanded some attention during "CORE HOURS" and may have clawed some ruts in his arm trying to get his attention, but this doesn't warrant locking me up all the time.

Then they've been randomly putting on pants and then leaving me... in the crate. Sure they bribe me with tasty frozen yogurt kongs and chewies, but they left me. I'm supposed to go with them. I sing the song of my people. I refuse to sing it to Toast and Bleeder, but when you are incarcerated, you sing the song of your people. A harmonic would be nice.

Toast and Bleeder say that it will be the new normal because Toast has to go back to some stupid office. Not sure why I can't just go to the office. I'm a pretty princess, I know how to behave 10 minutes at a time.

I'm a working breed, so I belong in an office setting. For instance, this morning at 0430 sharp, neither the Bleeder's, nor Toast's alarms went off. I dutifully tried to wake them with my gentle ear kisses, and then escalated with some head stomping. Bleeder got up and started rushing around and thanking me for waking her up. We did the usual morning routine, came in for my breakfast, and it was then that Bleeder realized that it was Sunday and not Monday. I said I was a working breed, I'm not a calendar breed.

There was some wailing and gnashing of teeth, especially when Toast stumbled out of bed, not at all happy about being dragged up on a weekend.

Bleeder went out and mowed and then sprayed some stuff all over the yard... and my toys for all of the icky bugs out there. They don't bother me, but being that Bleeder is "sensitive" she's starting to look like a pincushion from the mosquitos.

Anyway, I need to go baste Toast because he just ate Cheetos (and barely gave me any, although he lied to Bleeder about that part).

Here is a random picture of me, because I'm hot and tired and didn't get enough Cheetos.

Sunday, July 04, 2021

All The Tasty Things

 I'm a snacker. I love snacks and the yard is bountiful with snacks!

  • Sticks
  • Leaves
  • Bugs
  • Snails
  • Purple Flowers
  • Mulberries
  • That robin that keeps harassing me
  • Vines
  • Roots
  • Dirt
  • Grass
  • Sticks (I listed them twice because they are very tasty)
I love snacks so much that I won't eat my kibble because I have so much to taste in the yard.

I dig for roots.  I love roots, especially vine roots. The Bleeder keeps ripping out all of the stupid English Ivy that has grown on the fence for years and it keeps creeping back into the yard overnight (much to my delight, but not hers). Then there's the JEEZUS *$&#*%&# ivy that makes her itch. 

When I dig for roots, Bleeder puts a little piece of my poo in the hole to stop me from digging. This is barbaric. Especially when Toast throws my squeaky tennis ball into one of these mine-field holes. Nah, I'll pass on the whole "fetch" thing, thanks.

There's one thing that isn't tasty, but I can't help myself... lightning bugs. These bugs are fun to play with, but they taste SOOO HORRIBLE, and yet, I can't help myself. Leaping and snapping, spewing out, there's another! LEAPING and SNAPPING... oh, just as bad. Toast says I'm a slow learner.

So, I've got a myriad of fun toys to play with, but I require the humans to throw them at me so I can chase them, growl at them, then sit and wait for the next toy to be thrown. When all of the toys have been thrown, we switch sides, and start over again. It's great fun. Bleeder complains that she's averaging 10,000 steps a day just playing this game, but frankly she's old and frail and could use some exercise.... just sayin.

We started off with just a soccer ball... but I ate it.

Squeaky duck... ate it

Gigantic ball seems a bit more sturdier and it's fun to growl at when it rolls past me.

On the inside I have pickle pockets and Goughnuts to chew on

Om NOM tasty

Of course, my go to chew toy is the Bleeder, but she pulled a fast one on me lately and purchased these sleeve things.

They've made it NO FUN to gnaw on her, so I stopped. Oh sure, there are random tooth incidents, but since I now have most of my adult teeth, she isn't bleeding AS MUCH as before, but she still bleeds... I make sure of that at least once a week.

I've learned of a new tasty treat called "popcorn". This appears mainly when there's a good movie on. I feel it should be included in my daily diet (along with snails, they're tasty too).

Every night I play: Got Your Side of the Bed with Toast.

This vantage point is also handy for harshly judging the Bleeder's wardrobe... seriously... Dockers and long t-shirts?  What's with all the black and gray, can you not add a pop of color to the mix, and when I say color, I don't mean green or brown.

There have been discussions about "going back to work". These discussions also include Toast putting on real pants and leaving for short periods of time. I do not like this. He was gone for a long time the other day and I had a panic attack. Sure Bleeder was right there with me, but Toast NEVER goes anywhere except out front, and typically when he goes out front he's getting into my fancy car and I'm going with him.... 

Sure I've been in my crate during the day for a while, snacking on tasty kongs and chewing on my chewy bones, but I KNOW he's in the other room... so when he got home, I had to make sure he didn't go anywhere.

Bleeder and Toast say that I have a lot of work to do in a few weeks, but I've seen how they act about work, so I'm pretty sure this is not a good development.