Thursday, June 28, 2012

What's Going On

I didn't mean to totally freak all of you out, just getting real with the sucky part of getting old. Tests come back with questions, and more tests are run, and sometimes there are answers, sometimes the answers come with more questions.

So, the other week I went to the vet for my annual vaccines and because I'm getting old, they took some of my blood... without paying me. The nerve.

The next day the vet calls the humans and tells them that one of my blood levels was pretty wacky and that sometimes indicates Cushings Disease.

Not Cushions disease, which afflicts the ample assed Mutatoe, but Cushings, which is caused by a tumor on either the pituitary or adrenal gland. Some of the symptoms are drinking a lot, panting a lot, peeing a lot, a pot belly, and some other things.

I drink a lot (it's summer), I pant a lot (it's summer), I pee a lot (it's summer, so I drink a lot and have to pee). I'm not fat and I don't have a pot belly... it's just a bit of extra skin and fluff.

The Human Woman stole my pee (once again, without payment) and that got shipped off to some lab.

In the meantime, I started limping. I'm not telling you which front leg because I like to keep you guessing and be very stoic about it. It happens mostly when I first get up, but I'm definitely limping. Of course, if someone shoots off fireworks when I'm outside doing my business, I am able to race up the deck stairs and claw the door to come in. I'm also quite capable of clawing the Human Woman for no reason, a good reason, or a bad reason, without any problems.

The Humans asked the vet when they took the Mutatoe for his vaccines, and there was some frowning, and pondering, and the vet mentioned something like "well, that high blood thing could be an indicator of bone cancer".

Fast forward to today. The vet called and the good news is that I don't have Cushings disease, or is that the bad news? See, this is the frustrating part of humans not speaking our language. I can't tell them what hurts and where and why, and they immediately schedule me for X-rays this weekend.

The good thing: I get to go for another car ride. The bad thing: my humans are very concerned about what it could be, what if it's the bad thing.

As I said before: I really don't care because I'm laying on the cool kitchen floor after getting a tasty cookie, and clawing on the Human Woman and enjoying myself. As a matter of fact, I think I want another cookie now, so I'll claw the Human Woman some more because that's really all that matters to me.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Freaking Out The Humans

Yes, yes, I know its been quite some time since I blogged.  I've been busy... getting old.

The Human Woman didn't want me to keep posting and considered just leaving my blog blank, but the Human Man convinced her to keep allowing me to post.  It's my story, might as well go to the end... which is part of the problem with we dogs blogging... we have but a short time on this earth, much shorter than humans, and at some point it gets really sad because we go on to cross the Bridge and wait for our humans to catch up.  Sad for everyone left behind here, but from what I hear the Bridge is a great place to hang out.

Now, don't get me wrong, I intend to hang around here for quite some time, but I am getting old, just want to remind you all of that.  As I get old, things will happen, and it may not be pretty, or funny, but that is my life, and it would be a shame to let 7 years of blogging just stop without an ending.  For you, the ending will suck, but for me it will be the end of a remarkable life of love, happiness, clawing, making new friends.  That's nothing to be sad about.

So in getting old, I developed this eye goober thing.  You can clearly see it here in this picture of me guarding the stairs

Please note that not only did the Human Woman crop out most of the wall, but she Photoshopped the dust and cobwebs off the wall.  The Human Woman wishes that cleaning was as easy as sitting on her butt and photoshopping away the dust and dirt.

See the eye goober under my right eye?  Yep, it's some form of nodule thing that isn't anything to freak out about unless it's rubbing my eye, then it has to come off.

Well... it wasn't rubbing my eye, but I decided that I didn't like it there and tried to remove it myself.  Apparently those things bleed somewhat when you remove them with a sharp pointy claw, so when the Human Woman came up the stairs and saw that I had removed it with surgical claw precision...

This is after she attacked me with a piece of sterile gauze and wiped most of the blood off, and bits of eye goober guts, and some other whatever stuff that oozed out.  I give her credit, she calmly went, washed her hands, got the gauze, fooled me by asking if I wanted a cookie and cornered me against the couch, otherwise I would have made her chase me through the house.

There's some other stuff going on with me that I'll tell you about later.  It involves the Human Woman trying to steal my pee this week and some tests that need to be run.  All of this growing old stuff is very inconvenient.

I realize that I probably totally bummed all the humans out by writing all of this... but if there's one thing you should have learned from me by now:  It's not what happened yesterday.  It's not what might happen tomorrow.  It's what is happening right now.  So get over it and enjoy the now... I am... on my air vent.

- Meeshka