So, the other week I went to the vet for my annual vaccines and because I'm getting old, they took some of my blood... without paying me. The nerve.
The next day the vet calls the humans and tells them that one of my blood levels was pretty wacky and that sometimes indicates Cushings Disease.
Not Cushions disease, which afflicts the ample assed Mutatoe, but Cushings, which is caused by a tumor on either the pituitary or adrenal gland. Some of the symptoms are drinking a lot, panting a lot, peeing a lot, a pot belly, and some other things.
I drink a lot (it's summer), I pant a lot (it's summer), I pee a lot (it's summer, so I drink a lot and have to pee). I'm not fat and I don't have a pot belly... it's just a bit of extra skin and fluff.
The Human Woman stole my pee (once again, without payment) and that got shipped off to some lab.
In the meantime, I started limping. I'm not telling you which front leg because I like to keep you guessing and be very stoic about it. It happens mostly when I first get up, but I'm definitely limping. Of course, if someone shoots off fireworks when I'm outside doing my business, I am able to race up the deck stairs and claw the door to come in. I'm also quite capable of clawing the Human Woman for no reason, a good reason, or a bad reason, without any problems.
The Humans asked the vet when they took the Mutatoe for his vaccines, and there was some frowning, and pondering, and the vet mentioned something like "well, that high blood thing could be an indicator of bone cancer".
Fast forward to today. The vet called and the good news is that I don't have Cushings disease, or is that the bad news? See, this is the frustrating part of humans not speaking our language. I can't tell them what hurts and where and why, and they immediately schedule me for X-rays this weekend.
The good thing: I get to go for another car ride. The bad thing: my humans are very concerned about what it could be, what if it's the bad thing.
As I said before: I really don't care because I'm laying on the cool kitchen floor after getting a tasty cookie, and clawing on the Human Woman and enjoying myself. As a matter of fact, I think I want another cookie now, so I'll claw the Human Woman some more because that's really all that matters to me.