Saturday, December 22, 2012

Simple Humans Have Ruined My Snacking

Dogs have raided trash cans since dogs were invented.  It is a right for a dog to be able to snack out of a trash container at will.  Humans were invented to provide their dogs with tasty scraps they don't eat.  I'm pretty sure nobody can refute that!

I'm pretty sure cave people didn't have garbage cans!

It was in 1884 that some french guy by the name of Poubelle ordered citizens to use metal containers to dispose of household waste.  

I hate that man!

My life has been ruined by my simple human, who went out and bought a simplehuman Deluxe Butterfly Step Can (Google Affiliate Ad) years ago.

Unlike some of those other trash cans that you can just slide your snooter and lift the lid up for your snacking needs, this thing closes up tighter than a bank safe!  There's no way to get your snooter under the lid!

As far as I can tell, the only way to get it open is to step on the stupid thing near the bottom, but you have to maintain pressure on that thing or the "butterfly wings" will trap your head in the middle and bad, baaaad things would happen.

I tried planting the Mutatoe with his ample ass on the pedal thing to hold it down while I snacked, but he got so excited about the smells coming out of there, he jumped off the pedal and I barely escaped with my life.  So not worth the risk.

 So far the only thing I've come up with to disable this menace to dog society is to block the foot pedal.

It hasn't worked yet, but I'm holding out hope.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Christmas Tradition

I would be remiss not to share one of our famous traditions that occurs every time this year:

Yep, tis the season for wrapping us all in bubble wrap to keep bad things from happening.

The Humans are careful, if not a bit nuts.

- Meeshka

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Sad, Soft Woos for Rusty

It seems that our losses come in groups, and I'd like to think that it happens this way so that nobody crosses the bridge alone, they have someone to walk over with, and be greeted by those who are already there.

Today we have sad, soft woos over the loss of our friend and HULA member Rusty of the Thundering Herd.

Rusty enjoyed life to the very fullest, and lived his life looking for fun... a honorable and lovely way to go through life.

We hope that everyone stops by and lets the Thundering Herd know how much fun Rusty brought into their lives, and celebrate him and fun!

Let's all have a little fun today, for Rusty.

- Meeshka

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Fleas on a Dog (I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas)

When I last left everyone, I was suffering from what the humans thought was my seasonal itchy skin allergy period... yeah, they are so clueless.

Shortly after finishing off the pred stuff (which made me really thirsty, hungry, and had to pee a lot) about a week later, I was back to itching again.  Harumpf!

More pred and a week after getting done with that, I WAS STILL ITCHY!!!

It just goes to show you how much attention they give us, because it took the Mutatoe and the Bionic Hip/Knee Spineless Sam to start itching before we got the once over... wanna guess what they found?

No, go ahead and guess!  I'm pretty sure you figured it out loooong before my humans did... yep


Oh the woomanity!  How the heck can we get fleas, we never go anywhere?!?

We guessed it came from these pests

Those nasty little rodents are taking over our yard... OUR YARD!  Brazen little pests, they've been doing flash mobs in MY BACK YARD going after all of those tasty acorns that have fallen off the trees, and I'm guessing they're also bringing their nasty fleas with them and infecting MY YARD with chewy little pests! 

I literally had to shove my face in hers so she could see one of the little feeding frenzy bugs crawling on my snooter!

We immediately got the Frontline stuff put on us, and you would think that would have taken care of them, but NOOOO, these were superfleas that just laughed at the Frontline and continued using me as a buffet!

The Human Woman did some Googling and found that Petsmart carries the super-effective, kills them dead on contact, safe for dogs, made from some kind of flower but smells horrible Adams Flea Spray.

The Human Woman use to use this back when she was a vet tech, so she knew how effective and safe it was, so she immediately (and when I say immediately, I mean the next day) went out and stocked up on a few bottles.

They acted like nothing was going to happen that night.  We lay around all peaceful and happy, but itchy while they walked around speaking in hushed tones and skulked through the house putting down a sheet in the bathroom.

They're up to something....
Then they tricked the Mutatoe into coming into the bathroom by using their "happy, happy, lookie here, come into the bathroom so we can do horrible things to you" voice... he fell for it, he always falls for it.

The next thing you know, there are horrible smells coming from the closed bathroom door, and pathetic squeaking from the Mutatoe.  He came out looking like he had been drenched and smelling like chemical flowers.

Next it was Bionic hip/knee spineless Sam, who was helplessly carried into the bathroom... it sucks not to have a spine, they just tote you where they want you to go.

Once again, more nasty smells but no squeaking noises... because Sam is stoic, and then he comes out looking and smelling like a drowned rat.

It became abundantly clear that my turn was next...I didn't go quietly, that's for sure!

I'm also pretty sure they got more on themselves than me, and I made sure to rub myself on the bed afterwards.

Fine, so it did get rid of the fleas, and I'm slowly growing my tail floof back out... but still.


Saturday, December 01, 2012

Huffle Mawson, Until We Meet Again...

It isn't often you meet a kitty with style, grace, and beauty.  Most kitties are for chasing in the Siberian Husky world, but there is one kitty that captured our hearts and respect.

We mourn with soft sad woos over such a kitty.

Huffle Mawson, Explorer Cat
 Huffle Mawson was not only a famous explorer cat, but also a diplomat, friend, adventurer, and worthy of the title "Honorary Siberian Husky", the first for a kitty, and cherished member of the Husky United Liberation Army, another first for a kitty.

Huffle was a staunch supporter of MeeshkaWorld from the beginning.  Her wise counsel, exciting and fun adventures with ham and prawns enriched our world of livergreat and clawing.   She brought her side of the world much closer to ours and taught us that even if you live far away and are a kitty, we all have commonalities, experiences, and fun no matter where you are or what language you speak.

When we learned of her passing, we were very sad, but know that we will meet her again, along with all of our other friends who have crossed over the Rainbow Bridge... she lives forever in our hearts until we do meet again.

Our condolences to her mom and dad, and the goon Teddy.  We will never look at ham or prawns without thinking of you Huffle.  Thank you for being our friend.

Huffle with her beloved Sardinie

Meeshka and the Gimpy Gang
The Human Woman and Human Man

Friday, October 05, 2012

It's Not Funny

Part of the getting old process includes a lot of things wrong with the ol gastro intestinal tract, and this blog post is all about poo.

Ever since I was a tiny itty bitty puppy, I've had skin allergies in the fall.  Don't know why, but I'm pretty sure the Human Man is totally WRONG WRONG WRONG that they come from eating tasty grubs.  Chock full of protein and essential vitamins, there is just no way that grubs can be bad for you!

Anyway, like clock work I started to get all itchy again.  The Human Woman thought that meant that I needed to be combed.  Seriously, between the grub theory and the combing theory it's a wonder these two can function out in society!

I should have just put up with the combing because the next theory that dysfunctional woman comes up with is to quickly switch my food from the very tasty and perfectly fine Science Diet Sensitive Stomach food that I've eaten pretty much ALL of my life with no problems at all, to the Science Diet Sensitive Skin food.

Ok, so switching foods on a dog is fine as long as you do it gradually... let me repeat that GRADUALLY!


Did you catch that part about gradually?  Yeah, well Human Woman either didn't, or she fell into some kind of time vortex where GRADUALLY means give a little bit of new food with old food in the morning and lunch, and then just dump a cup of new food in the bowl thereafter.

Around Saturday I started having grumbly tummy.  Loud enough that the Human Woman could hear it across the room.  Lo and behold, around 2am Sunday morning I was shrieking to be let out so I could expel the churning ocean inside my intestines.  This continued every half hour until around 9am Sunday morning until there was nothing more to be expelled and I was finally able to sleep.

Luckily the Human Woman realized the issue, stopped the new food and started feeding me tasty bland food later that day.... except....

2am Monday morning the churning masses started heaving again it was screeching and clawing to be let out every 15 minutes until about 7am.  The Human Man stayed home with me out of sympathy... or because he was so tired he couldn't function... something like that.

On the way home from work the Human Woman picked up some canned pumpkin and yoghurt to help solidify things a tad.  They both felt that I was on the mend because I didn't have any issues through the day, and what with the extra fiber and live cultures, would be good to go that night.

Sure enough, 2am rolls around and I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now... sorry about the carpet.

Tuesday morning rolls around

Human woman looked a tad bit rough as she left for work.  I did feel a bit bad for keeping the humans up for three nights with this, but then I logged into the Human Woman's Facebook account and found that she was referring to me by ridiculous names:

Mt. Poosuvius

After that I didn't feel so bad, especially since she had a meeting (added bonus) but so did the Human Man, so I had to stay in my crate until they could get off work and take me to the vet in the afternoon.

Normally I love my crate, but when you are stuck in a crate with an upset stomach... it causes a bit of concern, not only for my cushy fleece pillow, but the walls... the Spineless Bionic Hip Puppy, and Mutatoe... everything within a reasonable distance.

Luckily I was able to hold it and scramble out doors the moment they came home.

The Human Woman watched me closely and then proceeded to steal a sample of my incredibly icky poo when I was done.  Heh, yeah, seriously if you want that, by all means just go ahead and take it.  I saw her gag a bit.

Finally we got in the truck and went to the vet.

You weighed me, that means we can go home, right?
I tried to explain to the technician and then to the vet that there was really no need to poke, prod, or stick me with anything as they could clearly see that I was very itchy, and my stomach was upset... yet not one, but both of them stuck their hand up my delicate po-po.

The good news is that I don't have parasites, and my flora and fawna are fine, so I got some icky pills for my upset stomach (flagyl) and some other pills for my skin itch (pred), and some very tasty stinky bland food to eat (I/D).

After one upset stomach pill I was able to sleep throughout the night, much to the Human's relief, and I'm not itchy like I was before.  I do hope that my tail fluff will grow back... it got a bit pruned when I was itching it.

So, it's all good, and in a few days once I get my strength back... I'm so clawing the Human Woman for those names she called me.

- Meeshka

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Until We Meet Again Mango

A legend of the blogosphere has left a relentlessly huge void in our hearts (I stole that from Huffle).

The Gimpy Gang mourns the loss of Mango 

I bestow upon him posthumously, the title of official Husky United Liberation Army (HULA) member to his most extreme hugeness for his service to driving his humans insane, and being a big drooly dog with a hugga heart.

Go over to Mango's blog and pass on your condolences to Pee Wee and his family.


Sunday, September 02, 2012

Ghoul Pool

Well, another year, and it is time for the annual family vacation ghoul pool. 

If you aren't familiar with the ghoul pool, click here.

As like last year, the human man went out to visit Uncle Jack, so we're left here with the Human Woman.  We started off our "vacation" with a vigorous clawing when we had a thunderstorm AND the neighbors shot off fireworks. 

So, anyway, get your guesses in for the horrible natural catastrophe and famous person unexpectedly dying.  The winner gets the satisfaction that they can predict horrible natural catastrophes and famous people dying, but hey... that's pretty cool.

Here is a picture of the pathetic Mutatoe guarding his water bowl.

Monday, July 30, 2012

If It Quacks Like A Duck

Lately the bionic hip/knee pup Sam has been having problems getting up and down the stairs.  I think he just wants to be carried, but since he's slim on original parts, it could be that his warranty has run out and things are malfunctioning in there.  He does have a rather unique way of simply flinging himself down the stairs that is highly amusing... unless you happen to be at the bottom of the stairs when he comes barreling down.

To help him up and down the stairs, the Human Woman bought him a harness with a handle on it from those awesome folks over at Tripawds.  It's called "The Web Master" and for a while he thought that he would turn into the amazing Spider Dog when he put it on.  He's a bit delusional.

Of course the Human Woman has a name for it.  It can't simply be "the harness" because the Human Woman is also a bit delusional, and will probably soon be on an episode of Hoarders for her rabid purse addiction.

Yep, it's got a handle and carries something, so she calls it the Sammy purse.  Oh the woomanity!

I have to admit, it sorta does look like a purse

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Nose Knows

The Human Woman is selfish and greedy.

She knows how much I love bananas, and yet the other day she tried to sneak a banana without sharing it with me.

She must have masked the noise of peeling the banana somehow, probably by running the water from the faucet, otherwise I would have heard it, but I detected the distinct odor of banana on her breath the moment she leaned down to pet me, no doubt out of guilt for eating a banana without sharing it with me.

When will she learn that our keen senses will betray her guilt to us each and every time.  Sometimes I think that humans are just beyond training, they just can't seem to learn anything.

The next thing you know she'll be hiding somewhere in the house to satisfy her selfishness... but we will find her

Yes... we will always find her.

- Meeshka

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Surprise, It's Nothing Serious

Yep, nothing horrible or serious, or even notable actually.

Not only was I able to freak out my humans, but apparently half of the entire world... which is why I'm the Queen.

Oh sure I'm getting old, and because I'm getting old I can manipulate my blood work to make it seem as though I either have a horrible internal organ tumor thing, or the horrible C word... or I could just be old and have 1 wacky value and strained my neck causing me to limp.

Yep, that's it.  I hurt my neck.  Don't ask how.  I blame the vet people for holding me down to trim my feety feets.  The Human Woman seems to recall that I was totally fine after the vet and three days after the vet, and only started acting dramatic after going out to pee and perhaps I slipped on the deck stairs.  IMPOSSIBLE!  I am stealth!  I am poetry in motion!  I don't fall down the stairs, or up the stairs for the matter... never... not EVER... ok, maybe I might have, but still, it hurts.

Yep, they didn't take any X-rays because they would have to make me sleepy, and sometimes that makes things worse because you are all limp and flopping around and if there's something going on in the neck sometimes flopping around makes it bad, so they suggested a shot of steroids in the butt, then 7 days of icky Pred pills and see what that does.

So, it's like 11 gazilionity degrees outside, I'm on Pred which makes me thirsty, there's fireworks going off all the time because of some sort of Independence Day thing (um, humans are not independent, we OWN them, duh), and frankly there's been a lot of peeing in the house.  Oh yeah, I'm not ashamed to say that I'd much rather pee on the carpet than go out in the blast furnace of explosions.  The beauty of it all... the Humans don't mind.  They just follow along with the steam cleaner and tell me what a good girl I am.  I KNOW!  Isn't that funny!

So, sorry to totally freak you all out, but it's my job as a working breed.

Oh, and if you are cruising my blog and see some pictures that aren't showing up, that's because some humans are stealing my pictures and the Human Woman's pictures and claiming them as their own, so they're hidden for now until we can splash a big honking © on everything... sorta like digitally marking our territory but in this case, a steam cleaner won't take out the mark.  Some people are stupid... as my friend Turbo always says.

- Meeshka

Thursday, June 28, 2012

What's Going On

I didn't mean to totally freak all of you out, just getting real with the sucky part of getting old. Tests come back with questions, and more tests are run, and sometimes there are answers, sometimes the answers come with more questions.

So, the other week I went to the vet for my annual vaccines and because I'm getting old, they took some of my blood... without paying me. The nerve.

The next day the vet calls the humans and tells them that one of my blood levels was pretty wacky and that sometimes indicates Cushings Disease.

Not Cushions disease, which afflicts the ample assed Mutatoe, but Cushings, which is caused by a tumor on either the pituitary or adrenal gland. Some of the symptoms are drinking a lot, panting a lot, peeing a lot, a pot belly, and some other things.

I drink a lot (it's summer), I pant a lot (it's summer), I pee a lot (it's summer, so I drink a lot and have to pee). I'm not fat and I don't have a pot belly... it's just a bit of extra skin and fluff.

The Human Woman stole my pee (once again, without payment) and that got shipped off to some lab.

In the meantime, I started limping. I'm not telling you which front leg because I like to keep you guessing and be very stoic about it. It happens mostly when I first get up, but I'm definitely limping. Of course, if someone shoots off fireworks when I'm outside doing my business, I am able to race up the deck stairs and claw the door to come in. I'm also quite capable of clawing the Human Woman for no reason, a good reason, or a bad reason, without any problems.

The Humans asked the vet when they took the Mutatoe for his vaccines, and there was some frowning, and pondering, and the vet mentioned something like "well, that high blood thing could be an indicator of bone cancer".

Fast forward to today. The vet called and the good news is that I don't have Cushings disease, or is that the bad news? See, this is the frustrating part of humans not speaking our language. I can't tell them what hurts and where and why, and they immediately schedule me for X-rays this weekend.

The good thing: I get to go for another car ride. The bad thing: my humans are very concerned about what it could be, what if it's the bad thing.

As I said before: I really don't care because I'm laying on the cool kitchen floor after getting a tasty cookie, and clawing on the Human Woman and enjoying myself. As a matter of fact, I think I want another cookie now, so I'll claw the Human Woman some more because that's really all that matters to me.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Freaking Out The Humans

Yes, yes, I know its been quite some time since I blogged.  I've been busy... getting old.

The Human Woman didn't want me to keep posting and considered just leaving my blog blank, but the Human Man convinced her to keep allowing me to post.  It's my story, might as well go to the end... which is part of the problem with we dogs blogging... we have but a short time on this earth, much shorter than humans, and at some point it gets really sad because we go on to cross the Bridge and wait for our humans to catch up.  Sad for everyone left behind here, but from what I hear the Bridge is a great place to hang out.

Now, don't get me wrong, I intend to hang around here for quite some time, but I am getting old, just want to remind you all of that.  As I get old, things will happen, and it may not be pretty, or funny, but that is my life, and it would be a shame to let 7 years of blogging just stop without an ending.  For you, the ending will suck, but for me it will be the end of a remarkable life of love, happiness, clawing, making new friends.  That's nothing to be sad about.

So in getting old, I developed this eye goober thing.  You can clearly see it here in this picture of me guarding the stairs

Please note that not only did the Human Woman crop out most of the wall, but she Photoshopped the dust and cobwebs off the wall.  The Human Woman wishes that cleaning was as easy as sitting on her butt and photoshopping away the dust and dirt.

See the eye goober under my right eye?  Yep, it's some form of nodule thing that isn't anything to freak out about unless it's rubbing my eye, then it has to come off.

Well... it wasn't rubbing my eye, but I decided that I didn't like it there and tried to remove it myself.  Apparently those things bleed somewhat when you remove them with a sharp pointy claw, so when the Human Woman came up the stairs and saw that I had removed it with surgical claw precision...

This is after she attacked me with a piece of sterile gauze and wiped most of the blood off, and bits of eye goober guts, and some other whatever stuff that oozed out.  I give her credit, she calmly went, washed her hands, got the gauze, fooled me by asking if I wanted a cookie and cornered me against the couch, otherwise I would have made her chase me through the house.

There's some other stuff going on with me that I'll tell you about later.  It involves the Human Woman trying to steal my pee this week and some tests that need to be run.  All of this growing old stuff is very inconvenient.

I realize that I probably totally bummed all the humans out by writing all of this... but if there's one thing you should have learned from me by now:  It's not what happened yesterday.  It's not what might happen tomorrow.  It's what is happening right now.  So get over it and enjoy the now... I am... on my air vent.

- Meeshka

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Mutatoe Strikes Again

This afternoon, the Mutatoe smelled something interesting on the seat of one of the kitchen tables and...

Yep, the chair kicked his ample ass.

He's so embarrassing.

- Meeshka

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Fearless Mutatoe Strikes Again

If you are one of my fans (and I don't know why you wouldn't be), then you are familiar with the many brave feats of the fearless Mutatoe.

In case you've forgotten, here's a refresher:

Mutatoe versus the stuffed lab at the vet:

Mutatoe versus hypothetical blow up sheep in Uncle Jack's guest room :

Mutatoe versus the big rat snake in the back yard:

Yesterday the area rug attacked him... so it should come as no surprise....



Friday, January 06, 2012

Today I am 11

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful....

Just wish me Happy Birthday and send some Livergreat.

- Meeshka