Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween costume thwarted

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Thanks to the bright idea of Copper, the human woman thought it would be REALLY funny to dress me up like her. Oh yeah, a real hoot.

Yep, she took one look at those halloween costumes on Copper's blog and thought it would be a real knee slapper to sabotage my blog and post a picture of me dressed in her t-shirt and sleepy pants.

I am a much stronger pup than she bargained for!

First of all, the shirt was rather comfy, but a bit large (ahem, from her sitting on her butt all weekend and eating treats and not sharing them).

Secondly, there was no room for my big fluffy tail. She managed to get the sleepy pants on me, but there was no room for my tail. There was no way she was going to ruin a perfectly good (yeah right) pair of sleepy pants just for a photo. Lucky for me.

I managed to get those sleepy pants right off of me in no time flat. There are advantages to being so fluffy!

She took this picture of me anyway. She draped the sleepy pants on top of me, which I allowed for a few seconds, then clawd her to remove the shirt.

Ever since then, I've been pouting and giving her such a guilt trip. She feels bad for "putting me through that", and yet hasn't shared any of her treats with me. sigh.



Sunday, October 29, 2006

Got my Fluffiness Up

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
That whole blogger thing just made me very mad. I had several good rants to tell you about, but in my fluffy fury about the stupid blogger humans, I forgot what they were about.

The human woman has been snacking all day and not sharing. I expect that soon she'll be so huge, she won't be able to get out of that computer chair. Sleepy pants fabric stretched to the limits.

The human man has been in a mood as well. He's taking what they say is "college", and he rants and raves and go stark raving insane when he takes those. I fail to see why the humans pay for stuff that makes them so miserable and teaches them very little. Even after taking other "college" he can't chase and catch mice, or dig for moles, he still walks on 2 legs (which is highly inefficient), and he bathes regularly in that big water bowl that only gets filled with hot water.

I would think that if they stopped spending money on silly "college" they could use that money for toys, squeeky things, and food. I also don't understand why they spend all of their time cooking stuff. They come home from some wonderful place that pre-catches and skins their meat, and then they cook it. What's up with that? They could save so much time by just eating it raw, but no, they cook it and put other things in with it. Then they use different dishes for stuff, and take the time to wash those dishes. Just lick them clean, what's the big deal?

So, I'm just a bit confused by humans today. They pay for stupid things, they cook their meats, they don't share, they take pictures of me while I'm trying to nap, and oh, they wash their clothes all the time. Come on, I wear the same fur every day and except for some touch ups, I'm fine. Not the humans, they wash their clothes, they shampoo their hair every stinkin day! So much time and money wasted on things that don't have to be done.

I bet humans would get along much better if they didn't bathe, wash their clothes, and rolled in poop or dead things.


Why I Hate the Humans at Blogger

For TWO DAYS now I've been unable to blog. This means that I am unable to pass instructions to the members of HULA so they can do their devious husky things to their humans. This means that you have been denied my fluffiness for TWO WHOLE DAYS!

Why is this happening? Well, I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that Blogger is rolling out their NEW AND WONDERFUL new version of blogger, that they want everyone to convert to... except for the fact that you CAN'T because they're inviting certain bloggers to convert first. I'm sure these are the same lame bloggers that end up in the "blogs of note" which typically turn out to be incredibly lame blogs about quantum jelly sandwiches, or some lazy idiot that auto blogs RSS news feeds. Whoever picks the "blogs of note" should be tied to a railroad track.

The morons at Blogger then advise you to start a new blog in the new blogger beta and eventually you'll be able to merge your other blogs in. Right, I've heard that before from humans. I'm sure it'll all work flawlessly once they get it done (whatever century that will be). In the meantime, I read the "Blogger Buzz" where some human is whining about how much work it is to keep the old Blogger up. Suck it up moron, nobody feels sorry for you when they constantly get error messages, or down errors, or whatever errors there are. You get paid (probably way too much) so do your job and stop snivelling! When Huskies take over the world, the first human to whine about their job gets eaten by wild dingoes.

Then there's the whole rub our noses in it thing. All dogs know that rubbing our noses in poo does not stop us from pooing in the house. It just makes us want to poo in the house in places the humans can't find it, just to get even. Oh, the new blogger works great, we aren't having any problems with it. Good for you, so why aren't you busy fixing the original one instead of posting about how great the new one is. If its so great, why haven't you ported everyone over to it, instead of sending out willy nilly "invites". "Hey, this is great, too bad you can't get it". If they were anywhere near me, I'd claw them bloodless by now.

So, whenever, IF EVER everydogs get this message, I may be trotting my way to wherever this blogger place is to wreak havoc and let loose the dogs of war on these humans.

(oh, I'm in a snit today)

Friday, October 27, 2006

Why I must torture him

I get a lot of comments asking me why I must torture the Loki Mutatoe gimpy suck up puppy so much. Well, here's a prime example.

Here I am, laying in the yard, soaking up some coolness in the grass, and along comes mutatoe.

"whatcha doing?"
"go away"
"hey, whatcha doing?"
"go away"

He will then start smacking me with his mutant foot, over and over and over and over until I'm forced to leap up and attack him.

Generally he's too quick for me, so he'll just prance away and laugh, wait for me to lay down again, and it starts over. "whatcha doing?"

If I'm chewing on something tasty, he does the same thing, batting at me with the mutatoe until I'm forced to attack him, then he tries to swing around and get the tasty thing. He is very annoying and very evil.

Right now its icky and cold and rainy out. We're very bored, so I keep prancing up to the human woman and wooing. She says "no". I leave, then prance up again, wooo CLAW. "no". Not deterred.... prance prance prance CLAW WOOO!

She finally takes us out... but she hasn't made the rain stop yet. This makes me cranky and wet. So I'm forced to gauge when she'll make it back up the stairs and sit down, then I start beating on the back door. Hey, its not racing around the yard, or hunting for tasty things, but it is entertainment.

(I'm a 25, the human woman isn't, but we keep it at 25 so I'm happy)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Houston, We have a problem

So, last night I’m laying in my usual spot on the human woman’s head and something strange begins to happen. I start sliding more and more on the human woman’s head. She’s half asleep and tries pushing me off, but I can’t help it, I’m sliding and sliding and finally when she’s not able to breathe anymore because my fluffiness is suffocating her, she pushes me off her head.

The bed is decidedly not cushy anymore, its actually flat now!

We use to have a normal bed, its now in the room we can no longer go in, and it never went flat! The humans had to get one of those air filled mattress things, and while much bigger, and much comfier... apparently there was an issue with it last night. The human man had been complaining that his side was losing air, but we didn’t care, we don’t sleep on that side. So without telling us, they switched the hoses to see if it was the air pump that was the problem, and apparently it was, and we were forced to suffer for that little experiment.

Even though Loki kept getting up, throwing himself back down, sighing, grinding an elbow in the human woman’s legs, it took her forever to wake up, pump the bed back up, then cap it off so it would stop losing air. Since she was already up at 1:30am, we decided that it was a good time to go pee. This gave us the opportunity to run back upstairs when we were done and claim the cushy spots back before she got into bed again. I made sure to sprinkle some sand in her spot, because I know how much she loves sleeping in grit.

Tonight we’ve made sure to be really obnoxious because the human woman seems to be on edge for some reason. I’m guessing it has something to do with sleeping on a flat bed last night. Loki discovered that he could crawl underneath one of the wheelbarrows under the deck and bark really loud so it reverberated. Yep, she got all frantic when she came out and couldn’t find out where the barking was coming from. That was a good one! She muttered something about cleaning out that whole area, which means no more playing under the wheelbarrow for us. Guess we’ll have to find other interesting things to do... like dig under the fence.

(too fluffy to fit under the wheelbarrow)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I'm not amused

I’ve come inside from laying out in the glorious cold weather to tell you that I’m not amused.

I’ve let the gimpy duo play their silly games, and wrestle and chew on each other, but this is the last straw. Its my job to referee and make sure they don’t kill each other, but my job is very dangerous, especially when the boys don’t even watch where they’re running.

There I was, minding my own business. Just standing there, making sure that not only the gimpy dorks are playing fairly, but also sizing up the human woman’s leg for clawing, when totally out of the blue, those two just ran me over! Knocked me right off my feet and rolled me down the hill.


It wasn’t funny!

One minute I’m just standing there, and the next I’m rolling down a hill, getting my fluffiness all dirty! The human woman started laughing at me, didn’t even immediately come and check to make sure I was ok. Oh sure, she stopped laughing long enough to help me get the dirt out of my fluffiness, and even expressed some concern between giggles when I walked over to the steps and lay down and glared at her. I could have been seriously injured in the whole thing, and there she is laughing at me.

Sure it would have been funny had it been Sam or Loki, but it was me, and its not funny, and no I don’t wish I had a camera to record that, it hurt and was embarrassing.

(thankfully my extra fluffiness kept me from getting seriously injured)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Dueling Appliances

Hey everyhusky (and dog) my tummy is feeling much better today. Thanks for all of the well wishes and good tummy vibes, it seems to be working.

I was well enough to claw the human woman's leg really hard and have her take me outside. She still doesn't seem to be reacting fast enough, so its taking 2 claws to get her to move. Either I'm losing my clawability, or she's wearing thigh guards under those obnoxious sleepy pants.

There is apparently some kind of appliance duel going on between my human woman, and the Army of Four's human woman. Its like they're out of some bizarro alternate reality. The AO4 was nice enough to blog their appliances, so just to show you how weird this is....

The almost SAME washer and dryer as the AO4.

The EVIL Dyson

The EVIL Simple Stupid Human impenatrable garbage can.

And yes, you guessed it:

The Squirrely RAV. The human woman is a big Foamy the Squirrel fan, so instead of Squirrely wrath, she calls it the Squirrely RAV, get it? Yeah, its totally lame, and I should have pooped in her shoes last night while I had the chance.

There are other similarities: The AO4 had a deck and stuff built, so did we at the same time. Their human woman is nuts... my human woman is nuts. I have no idea if they have to put up with sleepy pants all the time or not like I do.

You'll notice that I'm not in any of the pictures... that's because I hate all of this stuff and refuse to pose next to it. Well, I like going for rides in the Meeshka RAV, since it is MY ride, but it was dark when the human woman finally got off her butt to take pictures, so she used an old photo for the RAV, back when it was clean, brand new, and not full of my fur, like it should be.

So, there you have it. Conspiracy, or coicidence... you decide.

(what the heck is going on with the world!)

Monday, October 23, 2006

My tummy is not happy

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Howdy everyhusky (and dog), my stomach is really, REALLY upset today. I think it was from the very tasty Chicken Tender jerky treat the human woman gave us this weekend. That's the only thing I can think of (other than a distinct lack of tasty used kleenex) that could cause this problem.

I had to wake the human woman at 4am to take me out. She is NOT easy to get up when the alarm isn't ringing, and I just couldn't jump on the bed and claw her like normal, because I was afraid that I would have a poo tsunami like old guy-guy Nova had one time.

Today at lunch, the same thing. The human woman let me out of my crate and I zoomed down the stairs. She took her sweet time about letting me out and I barely made it to the yard in time. After that she was a bit more understanding and suck up.

Today after the work period was over, she luckily came home early, but try as I could, I just couldn't hold it any longer, and poo'd on the carpet downstairs. So embarrassing. I'm going to feed them something bad and then lock their bathroom door so they have to ask ME to get in when they're having a poo emergency.

The one good thing about having an upset stomach (and blaming it on the humans) is that you do get to poo in the house and they don't yell at you. Just strike your most pathetic poop pose and whimper a little and they just tell you to let it fly. They don't care. The guilt will let you have a freebie poo in the house.

(I'm thinking I'll need to go out every hour tonight)

Friday, October 20, 2006

Human Woman Training Progress

Its been a rough few days as we’ve been going through remedial human woman training.

She’s pretty much forgotten everything we’ve taught her, so we’ve been forced into some remedial training.

There was a time where every time we’d go outside, if she human woman wanted us to come inside, she would bribe us with a treat. We thought it was only fair that if we did something, it wasn’t for free, or out of the bottom of our heart. If we wanted to come in, we’d bang on the back door and scream. Since SHE wanted us to come in, she would have to pay for it.

Somewhere along the line, the treats stopped coming once we got into the back door. Ok, so it was summer, and we really wanted to go lay on a cool air vent, but still... that doesn’t mean the treats go away. Since its cool out, we decided that we’d need adequate motivation before we came inside. We simply refused to go in when she told us, and if she came out to herd us inside, we’d split up and play keep away from the human woman. FINALLY she brought out the treat bag.

This meant phase II training: ask to go out every 5 minutes. We’re not stupid. Out means treats when we come back in, so we’ve kept her hopping with asking to go out. Claw, claw, claw, out, bang on door to come back in and get our treat. We’ve practically had entire meals doing this.

Phase III training: claw, claw, CLAW means “water bowl is empty”. She still hasn’t figured this part out. Loki is a freakin camel when it comes to water. The humans call him “Gunga Din” because he hoardes water. This means when I want a tasty cool drink... the bowl is empty. Its a conundrum, because a waterlogged Loki means going out a lot, and getting more treats when we come back in, but dang, I get pretty thirsty carrying around all this fluff. So... claw, claw, CLAW... nothing. Claw, claw, CLAW! Nothing. I’ve finally learned to carry something into the computer room that I’m not suppose to have and plop it at her feet. The best things to drop are kitchen gadgets or empty kongs (when tossed just right on the feet, it gets immediate attention). The human woman takes the forbidden item and tosses it in the sink, where I’ve positioned myself at the water bowl and clank its emptiness with my well sharpened claws. TINK TINK TINK... “HELLO!” Duh, she finally gets it.

Phase IV starts tomorrow: Give me ice cream

(training humans is such a chore)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Where the Dead Things Go

Although I've never been on that side of the yard to give everyone a detailed and exact description of what goes on over the other side of the fence, but here is what I suspect is happening.

I'm pretty sure that's what I see when I look through the cracks in the fence.

(its so unfair)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

You can't comb me!

Home Base
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
The human woman decided to spend some "quality time" with me tonight because I kept clawing her. She kept thinking that I wanted to go out, but I wouldn't go out. She'd sit down, I'd claw, she'd ask "do you want to go out?" I pranced, she walked behind me and at the last minute I'd veer from the steps, jump on the couch, look very fluffy and coy.

That only lasted about 5 times (she'll never learn, after 5 years, she still falls for it), before she decided that she'd comb me. I don't know how she translated "I'm going to drive her insane" to "I want to be combed", but hey, she's only human.

This created a whole new game for me. One swipe of the comb, in the crate I go. She'd walk away, I'd come out, claw, one swipe of comb, in the crate I go.

We have this understanding. The humans made the rule, I just follow it: crates are safe havens and nothing bad happens in there. I love that rule! Comb comes out, I run in crate. Human man mad for some reason, in the crate I go. Tear up something important... position Loki near it, woo really loud to draw the attention of the human woman, run into crate and look innocent. "What? No, I was in here asleep the whole time".

So, someone anonymously posted that I should be nice to the gimpy, whiney, weenie mutatoe puppy. Um... its called Meeshka's World, I make the rules. Rule #1 is that I'm fluffy and adorable and its MY house. Rule #2 is that I torture the mutatoe whenever I want. He loves it anyway, so who am I to deny him something enjoyable?

This goes doubly for today since that suck up little whiner finally caught the elusive mole he's been after. While some dogs stalk their prey, slowly creep up on it, attack with ferociousness... Loki bores his prey to death. He's sat by the fence for weeks, just waiting for this mole to jump into his mouth or something. No digging after it, no stalking, no ferocious attack... he just sat there. Finally the mole said "ah screw it" and came out.

Now why does the gimpy mutatoe interloper deserve to be tortured? Because instead of ripping the mole to shreds and dining on tasty mole innards... he just plays with it until it doesn't move and then guards it. What a waste of a perfectly good mole!

Of course, eventually the human woman came out, saw us all laying in a circle, brought out the flashlight and plastic bag, pronounced it a good sized mole and threw it over the fence.

See what I have to put up with?

(should have been MY mole)

Monday, October 16, 2006

STOP! Skitter Time!

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Oh I'm just LOVING this cool weather!

I feel so young and frisky and fluffy!

Normally I don't participate in the afternoon "Beat up on Loki" session, but it was so nice out... why not? We beat him up real good too. He's a slippery little one, and can manage to contort himself in such ways that he somehow gets out of our grasp. I have no idea how he does it.

Tonight we had a good rousing nap, then the human woman made us go inside. Of course, we all had to "do our business" because we don't do it while we're outside, we have to hold it until the human woman makes us come in... then we have to make her take us out again so we can go. This drives her insane, and amuses us to no end.

We started with a rousing game of riccochet bed, and queen of the bed. The human man came out and made the mistake of ruffling my fluffiness, so that really got me going. I skittered down the hall, onto the bed, off the bed, then down the stairs, out the back door and kept going. I was running so fast that neither of those gimpies could catch me. As I zoomed past the human woman, she just stood there with her mouth open. I don't think she realized just how fast I can go when I want to. Either that or she was afraid that I would run into her, which would probably send her tumbling.

I finally had to stop, I get winded very easily, then tippy toed to a good poo spot in the yard. AH!

Of course, I was attacked the moment I finished, but with a devious jinking move, I was able to thwart the Loki mutatoe paw attack and make it to the safety of the concrete slab (that's our home free base. You aren't allowed to attack anyone if they make it to the home free base).

It was a glorious run tonight, and frankly... I'm exhausted now. One of these days I'll get the human woman to post some video. She keeps complaining that she's got a whole list of things to do, but I never see her doing anything.

(I am husky, watch me skitter)

Sunday, October 15, 2006

I'm Frisky Today

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Once again we have a lovely cool day, and I'm frisky.

I'm not normally frisky, as I have to be the Queen of the house, but today, I feel frisky, so I'm skittering around the house, yard, and beating up on Loki for no real reason.

The human woman pulled a nasty trick on us. While she was asleep this morning, we were out under the deck digging to China again. When she came out and saw just how big the hole was (and no, despite what she said there is no way the deck would fall into it), she covered it back up AGAIN, but then she put our poop on top of the cool digging spot. Like we're going to dig in that? If I get a chance, I'm going to put some of her poo on my spot of the bed to keep her off of it.

I also have to say that the human woman is like an oven when she sleeps. I'm waiting for her to spontaneously combust one of these days. She's so hot that I have to move out of my bed spot to get away from the waves of heat coming off her. You could cook a hot dog on her sometimes (although I can't get into the fridge to get a hot dog to try this, I'll try sometime and let you know the results). Its not just me, the human man has made this comment too.

(chili dogs anyone?)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Why are there men in trees?

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Today was a rather exciting day here. There were men in the neighbor's trees! They were swinging on ropes and cutting big branches down and even knocking down whole trees!

I supervised them most of the day, and that was very tiring. While I wasn't doing that, I was trying to get Loki to share his big hole. He has managed to dig quite the sizeable hole under the deck. I thought it was going to be a team effort, but he's decided that it was going to be just HIS hole, which I'm not going to stand for. Well, I will stand around while he makes the hole bigger, and then I'll take it from him.

We spent a lot of time outside, and the human woman even came out a lot and played with us. Of course, she didn't share her pizza with me, so I'm ignoring her for the rest of the night.

Sorry to be so boring, but I'm very tired tonight, all that supervising, then digging, then lounging, then skittering.

(that hole will be mine)

Friday, October 13, 2006

We could almost smell China!

Today was a very good hole digging day! Not only was it very chilly out (perfect digging weather), but since the human woman was "working" from home, we got to stay out most of the day and cultivate our escape tunnel to China.

This marvel of construction was located under the deck, since the human woman has been diligent about covering up our holes in the rest of the yard. We wanted something centrally located, and somewhat hidden, although she did suspect something was up by the dirt covering all of us as we tried to look innocent.

Sorry, no pictures, and certainly NO pictures of the 2am shirt incident. Although sadistic and always ready to take embarrassing pictures of me, the human woman is addicted to sleep and couldn't be bothered to stumble into the other room to get the camera (thankfully).

She's also started bribing us with treats again to get us into the house. At 8am this morning we decided to woo and scream at the neighbor dogs (they're so annoying), and the human woman seemed to think it would wake the whole neighborhood up with our catterwalling, so she brought down the pup-a-roni treats and enticed us into the house. She only had to do that one time, and each time she called us, we were right there, sitting pretty, demanding our treats. Then we'd run upstairs, drink water, wash off our muddy paws in the bowls, track the mud around the house, then claw her to go out again. She's very thrilled by this.

Ok, so a really cool rescue that is saving future HULA members and finding them homes to take over is having an auction. In case your humans expect something from you for Christmas or whatever holiday you celebrate that requires the giving of some kind of token of appreciation ... I'm waiting for that on a holiday card "Happy celebration that requires me to provide you with some sort of gift for which I don't expect anything in return to celebrate whatever it is that you celebrate"

Oh, I digress... here's the link to the MaPaw Siberian Husky Rescue and Referral e-bay auction.

Go get your human's credit cards and start bidding on cool stuff so we can have more chaos and fur flying.

(Do I smell lo mein?)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Its Not Easy Being Meeshka

I get very little respect in this house lately, and frankly I'm tired of it.

Last night I wanted to blog, but the human woman hogged the powerbook all night doing stupid things, like answering e-mails, and putting merchandise on someone else's cafe press shop (for really cute husky items, and to help support Karen Ramstead in her 2007 Iditarod run, visit her North Wapiti Cafe Press Shop All proceeds go toward her campaign to run the 2007 Iditarod, and she's really cool).

HEY, I didn't type that! See what I mean?

So last night at 2am there was a horrible, horrible storm. It woke me up, so I had to wake up the human woman. She took us out, and let us back in, and I got so mad because the human man didn't wake up like he's suppose to. So I clawed him awake. Its a good thing I'm around or these humans would just sleep through these storms!

So, did I get a cookie for being a hero? Did I get a medal? Did the humans get up and leave me the entire bed to lay on? No... the human woman put the shirt on me again. So, there I am... wearing a shirt again. How can I possibly be taken seriously while wearing a shirt. Disgusted, I jumped off the bed and pouted on my air vent. The human woman informed the human man in the morning that the shirt really calms me down during storms. NOOO! The shirt makes me feel like a complete idiot and there's no way I can sufficiently claw and woo a storm warning while wearing a stupid shirt!

Ok, to answer some questions:
Loki's butt is (so far) better. He's still licking once in a while, but I think he just does it because he can.

Yes I've heard of the furminator and although at first it was nice, I've come to realize that it is EVIL. My fluff is my fluff, leave it alone.

(stupid shirt)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Its Not Easy Being Fluffy

Being fluffy takes a lot of effort, time, and energy. Although naturally fluffy, making sure to share that fluff with the house does take a lot of planning and fluff strategy.

For the past week I've cultivated a lot of excess fluff and spread it around the house. Do you realize just how hard it is to plop a big fluff ball in a strategic area? A lot of times the human woman will shed my fluff for me, as she's giving me a belly rub, handfulls will come out and she's so lazy, she'll just shake it off her hand and onto the floor, exactly where I wanted it.

Today the human man got out the Dyson. Sigh. There goes the fluff we worked so hard to spread around. He muttered and complained with each dumping of the Dyson guts. At one point he said that shedding was no longer allowed, and we should keep our fluff to ourselves. Can you imagine just how fluffy I would be if I didn't release fluff... hmmmm... I wonder.... That might not be such a bad idea after all. I would be ultra mega mega fluffy!

Of course, I don't control most of my fluff shedding, so eventually I would explode with fluff, so maybe that's not such a good idea after all.

The carpet is once again clean (ick), which means there's more fluff to cultivate and wipe off. Its a fluffy job, but somebody has to do it.

(yes sir, yes sir, 3 Dyson cannisters full)

Monday, October 09, 2006

The Proper Way to Celebrate Columbus Day

The humans had today off to celebrate Columbus Day. From what I understand, some guy came over from Italy in a boat and "discovered" the United States. Unfortunately, the people living here had already "discovered" it, but since the new guy had weapons and diseases, he just declared the land his and I guess we celebrate that by napping a lot.

That's a lot like me going to Petsmart and "discovering" a chew toy and taking it, although after Columbus "discovered" the United States, they were smart and passed laws called "theft" to keep someone else from "discovering" the United States and taking it from Columbus. Human stuff is very confusing.

So, yes, it was nap day at the house. There was a lot of napping going on. The human man slept in while the human woman went somewhere for a bit, so we napped with him.

When the human woman got home, she declared nap time, so we said "hey, why not" and napped for a few hours with her.

After our nap we ate, then decided that napping was again in order. We napped until dinner, then had a small after dinner nap, followed by a pre-bed time rest. In a bit we're going in to sleep for the night, and boy am I tired.

Loki was paying special attention to his butt again, so now we get tasty crunchy human cereal in our food. Something about fiber, but who cares, its tasty. It would be tastier with milk in a human bowl, but apparently most dogs are lactose intolerant, so there goes the milk thing. I can't hold a spoon anyway, so its just as well.

Well, that's about it from here. Pretty boring day, but we did get our share of napping in.

(time for bed now)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Art of Grub

Well, the rain finally quit, so the ground is the perfect grub digging consistency. Nice and soft, very muddy, and perfect for digging.

The best grub hole is a narrow hole, one just large enough to shove your entire face into. Any larger and the mutant gimpy brothers will get the grub, and just the right size where the human woman will step into it on a dark night while chasing us inside and break her ankle. Its all in the future planning as well.

So, you dig a narrow trench and then you have to stuff your entire face into the ground. This is important so that you can smell the grub in the ground. If you don't smell the grub, then you know you already pushed it out and expect to turn around and see Loki eating the grub you worked so hard to dig out. Be very careful while digging, and inspect the hole frequently.

Once you've reached the grub, take it to a spot and eat it at your leisure... cuz they're tasty.

So, other than grubbing, I didn't do a whole lot today. Mostly just napped, and we did get some crate time while the humans went out and did their silly human things. They've started giving us some sort of new chewy treat which is chewy, and tasty. Its another one of those teeth cleaning treats, which is fine with me, as long as its tasty.

After the whole taking away of squeeky toys last night, the human woman surprised me. Its so very infrequent that she does surprise me, but I hold out hope for her. The mutant gimpy dogs were outside, and I (as usual) was perched at the top of the stairs refusing to go out. Instead of scolding me and trying to get me to go out, she opened up the closet door and got out a squeeky and then proceeded to throw it down the hall for me.

While normally I don't "retrieve" things that are thrown, I took this rare opportunity to practice my prance, stomp, grab, shake, and kill technique on the squeeky toy. It was great fun, although tiring, and I could hear the gimpy boys outside banging on the door to come in and join me in the fun... but they weren't allowed. It was all about ME!

After about 10 tosses, I felt that my technique was now down to an art form, and didn't feel the need to attack it anymore. I told the human woman that she could put it away, as I was done with it. Loki sniffed my mouth and recognized the squeeky. boy was he jealous.

(Queen of the squeeky)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Rain, as a torture device

Well, its been nothing but rain here the past few days. We hate rain, but we found out that the human woman hates rain more than we do. What does that mean? You guessed it...

We SAT in the rain, in the mud, rolled in the mud and rain, then refused to come inside when called. We made her chase us around in the rain (getting muddier by the minute), then came inside. Of course, she forgot to close the door leading into the house, which meant we stomped upstairs with out muddy feet while she screamed "get back down here for rough towel!" But did we? heck no. We wiped our feet on the carpet, the bed, the kitchen tile, on the wall, and just for good measure, we shook ourselves on the walls. Hey, by the time she came up the stairs, we were wiped off and reasonably dry already, who needs the rough towel! She didn't appear very happy about out methods of drying off.

So, we'd eat... then beg to go lay in the rain again. She got smart and left us out there, but we showed her. We forced her to come outside with us by digging in the mud near the fence. She hates that, but she had to come out and stop us. Once again, we wouldn't come in when told, made her run around the yard after us, then... as usual, we ran inside, up the stairs, onto the carpet, bed, kitchen, walls, shake, shake, shake, shake your fluffy!

By the time she cleaned all that up... we wanted outside again. That's been going on for two days now and she still forgets to close that back door.

Earlier today, the human man left the closet door open just a tiny bit. Loki and I were very quiet and snuck in there and got the squeeky toys out of there. We would have gotten away with it if that mutant pawed gimpy hadn't squeeked his toy. Granted, its very hard not to squeek, but knowing what would happen next (and it did happen) its very important NOT to squeek.

Sure enough, the human woman who can sleep through my "I want" noise and me clawing her, somehow HEARD that tiny little squeek, ran out and took the toys away from us. sigh.

(she's not sharing any of her soup bread bowl with me either)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

National Pain in the Butt Day

Without telling me (and I won't go into how mad that makes me) Loki and Sam had declared it National Pain in the Butt Day first thing this morning. I happened to be asleep when they pronounced it (once again, not gonna go there).

So this morning (without me) they decided not to come in when the human woman asked them, ran from her when she went to get them in her robe and stinky sneakers, danced and laughed at her, then finally came in when she about went postal.

Once inside, they barked and barked and played and ran around and made her frazzled, then had to go out again. Once outside, you guessed it, wouldn't come back in again when she asked. Boy was she steamed.

So, after I had a little talk with them about coordinating these types of events, we decided to turn it up a notch when they got home from that work place (which they both hate).

We dug HUGE holes in the yard and grass, then we lollygagged coming in for dinner, pretended not to want dinner until she put shredded cheese in our food, then demanded to go back out for more hole digging. She came outside after a while and pronounced us evil, so we decided to chase each other around and run into her "by accident".

She let us in.
We wanted out.
We wanted in, then wouldn't come in.
Made her chase us through the yard, she even got "stern" with us, so we went in.
Got upstairs and wanted out again.
Banged on the door to be let in 5 minutes later.

When she was about to spontaneously combust, the human man played with us, but I didn't want to play. After that... they wanted out, but I stayed inside.

The moment she sat down, I plunked the rubber ball on her foot and looked cute and fluffy. She can't resist cute and fluffy play mode, so she got up and threw the ball. I managed two "retrieves" (which actually meant she had to chase me to get the ball, then she threw it a third time at which point I gave her the paw and went and lay down.

Even after all that... she still scratched my belly.

You can't beat these humans, they're just suckers for punishment and hours of entertainment.

(I'm fluffy)

Monday, October 02, 2006

Come on, I dare ya

Come on, I dare ya
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Here is Sam and I playing our favorite game: Attack the gimpy mutant when he tries to run up the stairs and jump over us. We love this game.

The human woman always has to ruin it by reminding us to be "gentle with the puppy" (he's 4, he's not a puppy!), and "be nice", I am nice, there's carpet where I slam him down.

I think I ate too many grubs lately, as I've had a bit of an upset stomach. I barely made it out the door at lunch to do my business, and then after lunch, when I normally stay inside and snorfle all of the humans' sandwich crumbs... um... nope, had to go out again and do more business.

Which leads me to this thought: If humans have to travel for business... are they really going way away just to poo? They have the white bowl in their house, why on earth do they need to travel away to do it? Is it so bad that they can't do it in the white bowl, and if so... what kind of facility could there be that could contain something that the white bowl couldn't? That's just a plain scary thought.

Anyway, back to me. I felt a bit better after dinner, and decided to pick on Sam, because it was his turn to be picked on. We got into a bit of running around the house, which was fun, but what was even more fun was that I told Loki to go jump on the human woman and smack her with the mutant paw, which he did. The moment she got up to chase him back down the hall... I goosed her in the butt. Scared the crap out of her, it was priceless. I just don't know why she never has the camera ready for those classic shots, but always has it handy when I'm doing something embarrassing.

(Don't need to travel for business, unless the human woman doesn't scoop)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

We're so vicious

We're so vicious
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema.
Look, its a gimpy fight!
Ok, its not a gimpy fight, they're just playing, but just look at them. They try so hard to look all ferocious and evil, yet they can't stop wagging their tails. That's a dead give-away that they aren't serious... plus there's never any blood.

The human woman says (correctly) that you can always tell between huskies playing and huskies fighting, because there's much less blood when they're playing.

I've seen other breeds playing. Some think that chasing a ball and bringing it back is playing (that seems like work to me). I've seen dogs chase each other, tag the one being chased and then someone else is "it". What's the point? Huskies play chase too, except the point of the game is to chase down the prey, grab it by the neck and slam it to the ground and then stomp on it. That's how we play "tag".

We play riccochet queen of the bed. The point of that game is that I'm the queen of the bed, and the puny little gimpy dogs try to get me to leave the bed. They never win, but its fun watching them try. They jump off the bed, run into the living room, get up enough speed to run back into the bedroom, leap on the bed, then attack me. I'm always waiting for that, so they never win.

There's "stick keep away", which means someone finds a tasty stick, we want the tasty stick, so we chase the owner of the tasty stick until he catch them by the scruff of the neck and slam them to the ground. That's a fun one.

As I've mentioned before, Loki doesn't play fair, and will grab us by the tail to slow us down. I hate that. We're too busy trying to get the little pirhana off our tail that we usually drop the stick.

(don't touch my fluffy tail)