Monday, July 30, 2012

If It Quacks Like A Duck

Lately the bionic hip/knee pup Sam has been having problems getting up and down the stairs.  I think he just wants to be carried, but since he's slim on original parts, it could be that his warranty has run out and things are malfunctioning in there.  He does have a rather unique way of simply flinging himself down the stairs that is highly amusing... unless you happen to be at the bottom of the stairs when he comes barreling down.

To help him up and down the stairs, the Human Woman bought him a harness with a handle on it from those awesome folks over at Tripawds.  It's called "The Web Master" and for a while he thought that he would turn into the amazing Spider Dog when he put it on.  He's a bit delusional.

Of course the Human Woman has a name for it.  It can't simply be "the harness" because the Human Woman is also a bit delusional, and will probably soon be on an episode of Hoarders for her rabid purse addiction.

Yep, it's got a handle and carries something, so she calls it the Sammy purse.  Oh the woomanity!

I have to admit, it sorta does look like a purse

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Nose Knows

The Human Woman is selfish and greedy.

She knows how much I love bananas, and yet the other day she tried to sneak a banana without sharing it with me.

She must have masked the noise of peeling the banana somehow, probably by running the water from the faucet, otherwise I would have heard it, but I detected the distinct odor of banana on her breath the moment she leaned down to pet me, no doubt out of guilt for eating a banana without sharing it with me.

When will she learn that our keen senses will betray her guilt to us each and every time.  Sometimes I think that humans are just beyond training, they just can't seem to learn anything.

The next thing you know she'll be hiding somewhere in the house to satisfy her selfishness... but we will find her

Yes... we will always find her.

- Meeshka

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Surprise, It's Nothing Serious

Yep, nothing horrible or serious, or even notable actually.

Not only was I able to freak out my humans, but apparently half of the entire world... which is why I'm the Queen.

Oh sure I'm getting old, and because I'm getting old I can manipulate my blood work to make it seem as though I either have a horrible internal organ tumor thing, or the horrible C word... or I could just be old and have 1 wacky value and strained my neck causing me to limp.

Yep, that's it.  I hurt my neck.  Don't ask how.  I blame the vet people for holding me down to trim my feety feets.  The Human Woman seems to recall that I was totally fine after the vet and three days after the vet, and only started acting dramatic after going out to pee and perhaps I slipped on the deck stairs.  IMPOSSIBLE!  I am stealth!  I am poetry in motion!  I don't fall down the stairs, or up the stairs for the matter... never... not EVER... ok, maybe I might have, but still, it hurts.

Yep, they didn't take any X-rays because they would have to make me sleepy, and sometimes that makes things worse because you are all limp and flopping around and if there's something going on in the neck sometimes flopping around makes it bad, so they suggested a shot of steroids in the butt, then 7 days of icky Pred pills and see what that does.

So, it's like 11 gazilionity degrees outside, I'm on Pred which makes me thirsty, there's fireworks going off all the time because of some sort of Independence Day thing (um, humans are not independent, we OWN them, duh), and frankly there's been a lot of peeing in the house.  Oh yeah, I'm not ashamed to say that I'd much rather pee on the carpet than go out in the blast furnace of explosions.  The beauty of it all... the Humans don't mind.  They just follow along with the steam cleaner and tell me what a good girl I am.  I KNOW!  Isn't that funny!

So, sorry to totally freak you all out, but it's my job as a working breed.

Oh, and if you are cruising my blog and see some pictures that aren't showing up, that's because some humans are stealing my pictures and the Human Woman's pictures and claiming them as their own, so they're hidden for now until we can splash a big honking © on everything... sorta like digitally marking our territory but in this case, a steam cleaner won't take out the mark.  Some people are stupid... as my friend Turbo always says.

- Meeshka