Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Trans Fat Free

The human woman read the label of the kong whiz to me and was very relieved to read that kong whiz has no trans fat. That should mean that I can eat as much as I want, but apparently the human woman doesn’t see it that way.

We’ve been spending a little one on one time together, me and the human woman. No nasty brush or comb, no clipping of my finely honed nails. Nope, she’s been putting some tasty paste stuff on a rubber bone thing that has bristles on it and is suppose to clean your teeth when you chew on it. Its very tasty, but she only lets me chew on it for 2 minutes. TWO FREAKIN MINUTES! How can anydog chew on something for only two minutes. If its tasty and fun to chew on, I should be able to chew all I want on it, but no... she takes it away and cleans it up and puts it up high where I can’t get it.

Tonight she also wet a gauze pad and rubbed my chin sore spot. I’ve been scratching my chin again and its a bit bloody and oogie. Of course I’m injured and they’re taking the gacking Mutatoe into the vet. I have a visible wound and all I get is a wet gauze pad wipe. There is definitely some favoritism going on here. The Mutatoe hasn’t gacked in days, ever since they made him an appointment, so I’m sure he’s fine, but here I am. Chin sore... only two minutes of tasty bone chewing. Sigh.

I also want to start the ghoul pool since Uncle Jack will be traveling here to visit us. As some of you may know, when Uncle Jack visits, famous people die out of the blue. He’s responsible for Princess Diane, and also last year’s very surprise celebrity death: Steve Irwin and the stingray stabbing. I’m not sure how he can top that one.

There will be no official prizes given out, just the satisfaction of knowing that you predicted the untimely death of someone famous because Uncle Jack is at our house being clawed. Get your entries in quick by just commenting your choice of dead famous person. Try not to go for the obvious, its usually someone you least expect. While you’re at it, you can also predict the natural disaster or horrible event that will occur while all of the family is visiting, because that usually happens too (Katrina last year, that pesky terrorist attack on 9/11... yep, whole family was here for that one).

Get your entries in now!

(hiding on my bedroom vent until its safe)

Monday, August 27, 2007

Blogathon Pledges

It has come to my attention that some people didn't get their instructions on where to send their blogathon payments.


stupid humans.

If you sponsored me, then you can go to the Harnessed to Hope Northern Breed Rescue site, there's a button on the first page, near the top where you can paypal your donation.
Or you can send a check (payable to them) to:

Harnessed to Hope Northern Breed Rescue

P.O. Box 21202

Philadelphia, PA 19114-0702
If you sponsored Steve and Kat, go to their blog and find out where to send your moola.

I'm in a foul mood tonight. Gonna go sit on the human woman's head for comfort.

(everything is stupid tonight)

Saturday, August 25, 2007

New On TV This Fall!

With the influx of various and sundry "whisperers", the networks have decided that avenue of sucking money from books and videos is now closed.

To profit from the new generation of dog trainers, we now present:

Coming soon to a tv near you... turn the volume down.

(Still waiting for "the dog clawer", the dog's answer to human training)

Friday, August 24, 2007


Rex was found this morning (25 August 2007), he he safe and sound!

Thanks to everyone that cross posted and had good thoughts and helped out!

Friday, 8/24 - Warrington - Street Road and Route 611 - In Pennsylvania!
Rex got loose, picture attached. This poor boy is just finishing his heartworm treatment, picture attached. NO ID ON HIM!!!We have searchers out now and plan to start aqain in the a.m. If you can help us, please call 267 626 8408 after 8 a.m. to co-ordinate.

Please cross-post!!

Kathy Radde
MaPaw Siberian Husky Rescue

New HULA Member: Kelsey Ann

I, Kelsey Ann, respectfully submit my application for the HULA; I am also submitting on behalf of my fur-siblings, Sky and Canyon. We believe that we have met all of the requirements as follows:

1. Demonstrating Disruptive Behavior:
Canyon and Sky love to play together. Sometimes their playing gets out of hand. The noise generated has been known to wake the toddling biped from time to time.
Canyon tries to play with me and I have to tell him to back off. He just doesn't listen and I end up having to bark louder. He barks back and mom and dad get mad because they can't hear the TV.

2. Causing Humans to Freak Out for No Reason:
Several years ago, before mom and dad got Sky and long before Canyon, I found an ant-trap. I thought it tasted pretty good. Mom and dad got pretty worried and they made me drink ipicac solution. Then I had to sit on the porch until I threw up. Well, I got bored and found a baby rabbit nest to play with. They sure were freaked out that night.
On another occasion, after we moved and got Sky, they let Sky and I out into the dog run. Low and behold - we found a baby possum. We just wanted to play with it, but dad had to chase us back into the house and then try to rescue the baby possum.
One final story to demonstrate this... Last winter, the bipeds went on vacation to Florida. They left us home and a dog-sitter stopped by a few times a day to check on us. Canyon, still being a puppy, and having the typical lab seperation anxiety (see "Destroy Something" for more info on how we learned about this) had to be kept in his crate during the whole week except when the sitter was here. Well, Canyon managed to get a bean bag chair that was at least 3 feet from his crate, pull it through the bars of his crate and then shred it. That sitter sure was upset when she got here. She didn't know what to do. I never was so amused in my life as I was then while watching her freak out for no reason.

3. Destroy Something:
This past spring, the bipeds took a vacation to New England. After coming home, they had a bag containing some travel books. This bag stayed in the bedroom for about two months and didn't get fully unpacked. I was so tired of looking at it, so last week I tried to help them out. Unfortunately, I don't have opposable thumbs so I had to take the books out of the bag with my teeth. Well, the books didn't all survive this procedure. I guess that's what the AAA membership is for. They can go get more of those things without too much trouble. Now, where's that AAA card - I don't like when they go away without us and leave the sitter to come in three times a day to take care of us.
Sky had has his run ins with destroying things too. Two particular items that come to mind are the squeeky bee with no wings and the squeeky quail with only half of its stuffing and no squeeker. These two items were some of his later squeekies. His earliest ones didn't survive for more than a few hours until the fuzz, stuffing and squeeker were seperated into three neat piles.
I've already mentioned Canyon's playtime with the bean bag chair, but I promised to tell you how it came to be learned that Canyon was suffered from the typical lab seperation anxiety and is unable to be trusted out of his crate when no one's home. Prior to the Florida vacation, the bipeds tried to see if they would be able to allow Canyon the freedom to be out of his crate. They penned him in the office for a day. When they came home, they learned that Canyon had torn up a few books, a notepad which contained the user IDs and passwords for all of mom's accounts with various creditors and utilities, and a remote control. He also got into several other items that weren't quite as important.

4. Human Behavior Modification:
The one item that most details this would be the evolution of our potty breaks. When it was just me, they had a tie-out which was fastened to the grill. Once we had Sky, we progressed to tie-outs attached to the laundry pole. This wasn't enough to hold Sky, so later we went to modified tie-outs that had stronger clasps. By the time the tie-outs were 86ed, Sky would wear a harness when he went out. The harness was attached to his collar with a piece of chain. The chain was attached to the tie-out. And Sky was wearing a shock collar. All of this, just to be sure that Sky wouldn't get away. That got to be too much trouble, so we started going out on leashes only. Then we got Canyon. That resulted in a 6-foot chain link fence around a 16x20 foot area of the yard.

5. Humans Dress You Up:
About a month before last Christmas, the bipeds put me in my stupid elf costume (again), Canyon in a Santa hat, and Sky had reindeer antlers. We had to sit in front of the Christmas tree with the toddling biped for about 45 minutes while mom and dad took picture after picture. It took forever to get three dogs and an 18-month old human child to sit still long enough to get a picture.

6. Love of Kleenex:
I can say that Sky doesn't like Kleenex, but Canyon and I love it. I go after the Kleenex in the bedroom trash can almost daily. Canyon will pull the Kleenex out of the bathroom trash any chance he gets. No matter how mad mom and dad get, we still do it every day.

Well, Meeshka, I'm sure you can see that we meet the qualifications of HULA quite well. I hope that you will consider me for membership. Oh and don't forget about my fur-siblings, you can consider them if you want.

Kelsey Ann

(The elf costume! MY EYES, MY EYES the horror!!!!! - Meeshka)

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Thanks for the Help

Thanks! Thanks to all of you that let the human woman know that all she had to do was buy a replacement hose for the dying Dyson.

Sure, that’s easy, instead of saving money which could have taken years while our wonderful fluff continued to pile up higher and higher as it should, now she’s just gone and ordered a new hose. No, we couldn’t have a Dyson free year, you had to tell her she could replace the hose... thanks.

On top of that, she also went and bought a “flexible crevice tool”. Why? I don’t know, but I’m probably going to find out when it gets here, as she’s always ready to try out new things on us. I’m not exactly sure I want to know where the flexible crevice tool is capable of going, but thanks to you... I’m probably going to find out, and I probably won’t be very happy about it either.

Thanks... really, I appreciate it.


Sunday, August 19, 2007

Stupid Fight

Yes, last night we had a prime opportunity to have a stupid fight!

The neighbors had a gazillion people over for a deck party, so we had a great audience. We started it off by sniffing very intently on the ground. Then we postured our body language to let the human woman know that whatever we were sniffing, it was worth fighting over. She kept telling us to "leave it" softly between clenched teeth so the party couldn't hear us, and the moment she stepped in to take the tasty thing away, Mutatoe and I broke into a knock out drag out, screaming, shrieking, full tilt bozo not come anywhere near each other but looked as though we'd rip each others' faces off stupid fight. It was beautiful, and Jackie Chan would have been proud of our realistic choreographed stunt fighting.

Of course through the whole thing, the human woman is screaming, yelling, grabbing sticks to making noise to stop us... and there was a visible hush on the neighbor's deck. Mission accomplished.

She made me go inside, which I did while glaring back while the Mutatoe got the tasty whatever it was and ate it. Good for me because apparently whatever it was upset the Mutatoe's stomach, as he spent all morning horka'ing on the human's bed and carpet. Hehehe, priceless.

He's fine now (as if you cared), but because of him, we only got dry, crunchy bland food to eat today. On top of that, he got his Mutatoe claws clipped today and the human woman made him bleed. He's now limping around pitifully, upset stomach, milking all the sympathy he can get from it. He's so good at looking pathetic, I really need to work on my pathetic look.

(working the sad eyes for a kleenex)

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Is This The End?

The human woman and man were talking in quiet tones this afternoon. They seemed very somber and sad, so I got up from my air vent to see what they were talking about.

Apparently the Dyson hurt itself. Yep, the evil fur sucking Dyson has an injury, an almost mortal wound you would say. I didn’t see the humans racing it to the Dyson vet (I only hope the reason they didn’t because they don’t have them), like they do us when we’re hurt.

Apparently there’s a hole in the evil long sucking arm that stretches really far. The arm they put attachments on and then chase us with to suck our fur straight from our bodies. We run, we hide, we don’t let that evil beast near us. Loki does pee on it, but only when it sleeps.

They talked for a long time about what the should do with it. Seems pretty clear to me, toss the stupid thing out and let the fur pile up, the comfy soft fur, the cushy warm fur.

Ever the fix-it queen (I’ll tell you about the great bathroom wall repair fiasco some time), the human woman got some duct tape and patched the evil hose up for now. It still works, unfortunately, but I’m sure other holes will start to appear (I’m not saying nothing), and pretty soon it will be DEAD! AHAHAHAAAAA!

As I walked back to my cold vent I heard the human man say “well, we’ll just have to buy another”. Are you kidding me?

(need fluff? We’ll make more)

Sunday, August 12, 2007

My Tirade

No, this isn’t a rant. Well, it’ll probably turn into one, this is about the blood test that I had done to see whether or not I’m fluffy for a medical reason, or if its because the human woman is feeding us too much.

As I suspected from Mutatoe’s wide butt, the human woman is feeding us too much, and that is why I’m especially fluffy. My thyroid test came back completely normal, therefore I’m just a full figured gal who is very fluffy and generally cranky.

So, why am I calling this “My Tirade”? Well, because that’s what the human man calls my thyroid test: a tirade test. Ha ha, get it (I don’t, so don’t feel bad). He seems to think that the reason I’m so fluffy and cranky is because I go on tirades, which I do, but I just don’t get it. Human humor is so lame.

For instance, I think its incredibly funny to wait at the top of the stairs for the Mutatoe to come running up. Once he’s at the top of the stairs, I attack him and slam his head into the floor. He thinks its funny, I think its funny, the humans don’t think its funny.

The Mutatoe thinks its funny to wait near the house for me to walk up there, then attack me. I don’t think that’s funny. Spineless Bionic Hip Puppy Sam thinks its funny to stand in the yard and avoid being attacked and letting me get attacked. I don’t think that’s funny either.

We all think its funny to wait for the human woman to sit down, then Mutatoe needs to go out. Wait for her to sit down, then Spineless Sam wants to go out. Wait for her to sit down, then I just claw her for no reason. That’s funny. She doesn’t think so.

We also think its funny to bang on the door, then only one comes in. Wait until we’re sure she’s sitting down, then bang on the door, then only one comes in. Repeat until all are inside, then start asking to go out again the moment she sits down. That’s a hoot.

We also like going off somewhere and being really quiet. This means we’re up to no good, so the humans come running to find us, only to see that we’re sitting very innocently somewhere, doing nothing. Once they leave, we get into the potentially poisonous chewing gum that was clearly out in the open in the human woman’s bag on the desk, pushed as far as possible out of reach. That’s funny.

Mutatoe likes to get one sock and guard it. This seems like a non-event, but then the human woman searches frantically for the matching sock, thinking he ate it. That’s funny.

Clearly on top of the language barrier, we also have a different sense of humor than the humans.

In case you want it, my commentary on the justice system is now on cafe press.

(clawing the human woman awake at 5am on a sunday, now that’s funny)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

One Husky's Commentary On the Justice System

Nuff said.


My Near Death Experience (ok, not really but it was scary)

I had planned on catching up on things this past week, because believe it or not, a LOT of things happened other than the human woman trial fiasco that involved ME!

Its nice and cool out, so I demanded the human woman let me out so I could lay in the shade and collect my thoughts before blogging and there was a very tasty stick laying there and I thought “its a stick... its tasty, I’ll chew on it”.

Next thing you know, that stick attacked me and jammed itself on the roof of my mouth! I couldn’t believe it, and it hurt! I pawed at my mouth and the stick didn’t come out, I rubbed my face in the dirt and the stick wouldn’t come out, I tried rolling around in the dirt and pawing at my mouth and the stick wouldn’t come out.

The suck-up gimpy mutatoe was out there with me and he saw me rolling around and in obvious distress and started yelling at me to paw harder or let him reach in with his mutatoe to get it out, he was frantic.

Spineless Bionic Hip Puppy Sam heard the commotion from inside and alerted the human woman, who then heard mutatoe barking, saw me rolling around and ran out, reached into my mouth and grabbed the nasty stick out of my mouth. She thought I was choking on something and was frantic too. Everyone was frantic, its a frantic day.

Once the stick was out, I had to pee, that was scary. The human woman brought me inside and she and the human man took me into the bathroom (where every medical exam on us takes place) and checked out my mouth, which is kinda sore, but no worse for wear. When they were certain I was fine, they let me go get a drink of water, and since I was a bit messy from rolling in the yard, I washed all of my paws off in my water bowl, and the human woman didn’t even yell at me for that.

The human man pointed out that his family is scheduled to come visit. As some of you may know, whenever the human man’s family comes for a visit, really bizarre bad things tend to happen. I’ll be starting the annual “Celebrity Death Pool” in a week or so. No prizes, just fun in guessing which random celebrity will die when Uncle Jack arrives. Last year’s “winner” was Steve Irwin. This would also explain why the human’s attic fan (that died and was replaced last year during Uncle Jack’s visit) suddenly tried to eat itself and die last night. If it ain’t one thing....

(sticks can be hazardous to your health)

Friday, August 10, 2007

Its All About The Human Woman

Hey everyhusky, dog, and girl-girl,

Apologies again not only for disappearing for an entire week, but the delay in getting the rest of the blogathon prizes out to the winners. I thank you for your patience and understanding, as I’ve been concentrating all of my fluffiness on the human woman.

For all of my complaints about her, she is a vital cog in the wheel of my care and feeding, and sometimes she needs some of my fluffiness to get over a rough patch and frankly these past few weeks have been a bit bumpy for her. I simply can’t claw the human woman when she’s down, and at this point, she’d probably have to reach up in order to feel down.

If you recall in April (of the human calendar) she was unable to transcribe my words of wisdom because of a hand problem and I had cartooned some suggestions on what happened to the hand. At that time I was unable to actually say what happened because of a human court case that was coming up.

In a nutshell, almost three years ago the human woman was driving to work and was hit nearly head on by a car, which actually hit two other cars before hitting the human woman. The car that hit her was completely at fault. The driver was found guilty in traffic court and had the book thrown at her (which probably hurts, since I’ve had books fall on me while I was trying to get a kleenex off a desk once).

The human woman has been battling the guilty driver’s insurance company not only for her totaled car (which was a nice ride), but for injuries to her hand. She’s had to leave us locked up for doctor appointments, had surgery in April, is in physical therapy, and may need more surgery.

This week we were locked up in our cages all day without lunch for two days because she and the human man were in court both days. The driver lied on the stand and said it wasn’t her fault because her tire exploded. Three eye witnesses said that didn’t happen. The police officer at the scene said that was highly unlikely and when he asked her at the scene what happened, she said she didn’t know.

The jury was instructed that if they bought her story, then she wasn’t responsible for the human woman’s injuries. The human woman had to prove that she paid money for a prescription for pain relievers because of the accident, but the driver didn’t have to prove that her tire blew.

Needless to say, the jury of lazy humans got the case at 4:15pm and at 5pm on the nose came back and said the driver wasn’t at fault, have a nice day.

She’s pretty much been curled up in a ball under the bed worrying if her insurance will cover the problems with her hand, whether she’ll lose her job if she can’t type (and frighteningly if she can’t transcribe my blogs), and how the human justice system can allow this to happen. Since I’m not normally allowed under the bed, I’m curled up under there with her to comfort her with my fluffiness.

When I become Queen of the World, all cars will be banned, all stupid people will be thrown on an island where they can’t hurt good humans, all lawyers that represented insurance companies will be clawed on a daily basis, and all insurance companies will pay for everyhusky (dog and girl-girl) needs from their stacks and stacks of money they ripped off from good humans.

(nobody screws with my human woman)

Saturday, August 04, 2007

It Seemed Like A Normal Saturday

Ok, fine, the humans are taking spineless bionic hip puppy Sammy for his therapeutic swim as usual. Ok, whatever, fine, he’s a gimpy, he needs to swim in circles, whatever.

Then I get a report from Sasha that her humans are going to be leaving and spending the night somewhere and having fun and going to the Karen Ramstead talk in Pennsylvania. Ha Ha, I thought, you’re getting left behind. BUT THEN I find out that MY human woman is driving up there to go there with them WITHOUT ME!


She’s not allowed to be away from the house for more than 4 hours at a time! That’s the rule, I’m suppose to be fed every 4 hours and the human woman is suppose to make her leg available for me to claw at will. How can I possibly claw her when she’s in Pennsylvania and I’m stuck here... with the suckup mutatoe and spineless bionic hip Sam? Oh sure, the human man will be here, and while its great fun driving him insane, its not the same thing! To make matters worse, she’s turning off the powerbook and taking the iPhone with her! How am I suppose to coordinate plans to take over the world if I have no communications? Like I’m going to be able to tell the human man to stop playing his game for 5 minutes so I can send out a communique for all HULA members to shred a couch. Like that will ever happen in a million years.

She’s got too much to do around here to be running off to another state and sitting around and relaxing! She still has blogathon prizes to send out, she’s got me to pet when I want, she has me to feed when I demand it, and she has to sit and allow me to claw her when I feel like it. Who is going to chase the mutatoe around the yard when he barks and yaps and yaps and yaps and yaps to shut him up? I don’t see the human man doing these things.

This is horrible! Last week I’m blogging all night and now this weekend I’m all alone to fend for myself. She’s still here... I’m clawing her leg while I type this, making the “I want” noise.


So unfair, this is so unfair.

(where’s MY vacation?)

Friday, August 03, 2007

Results of the Raffle!

I have to admit that the human woman has been very productive today, and much less stressed (she'll be even less stressed once the prizes are at the post office).

I'm still waiting on snail mail addresses for:
and Sitka and Tia

If you sent them... please send them again: meeshkaworld@gmail.com and you can also try:
pennyblank@mac.com (in case I have the iPhone in the yard with me)

Ok, on to the raffle, it was very exciting!
This is me, limbering up to get ready to pick the winners of the raffle. I didn't want to strain a muscle or pull something and be out of the raffle picking responsibility, so I had to do some stretching exercises, staring exercises, etc. Please note that yes, behind me is peeled paint and the wall is dirty. I'll have the human woman take care of that as soon as she's done feeding me.

Here I am leaping onto the bed. The human woman carefully wrote down each of your names on slips of paper and then threw them all over the bed. It was like breakfast in bed for me. A very scientific method of making sure that the entries were all spread out, none of them contained any sort of tasty smear of something to pick a certain one (rats), and they were also folded so I couldn't read the names.

Hmmm, which ones to choose, its a very hard job to be a raffle winner picker. I almost had to lay down and take a nap because of all the stress going on. The responsibility, the pressure, the ... is that a piece of cookie on the bed over there?

The first winner is: Janet Beattie!!!! Janet, you won your very own autographed authentic, actually worn in the Iditarod 2007 dog bootie!!!!

Please send me your snail mail address and I'll get it out to you jiffy quick.

Ok, that was pretty exhausting, so I had to lay down and choose the next one. They all looked so absolutely tasty, but it would have been better if they had been written on kleenex. That would have been very tasty, and a WHOLE BUNCH of you would have won because I would have crammed the whole lot of them into my mouth... ok, I digress. Anyhooo, the next winner is:

Its Rubybleu!!! Rubybleu you won your very own autographed copy of "Pretty Sled Dogs" the DVD!

Please send me your snail mail address and the human woman will drop whatever she's doing (unless she's feeding me, then I take priority) and get that out to you really fast-like.

Ok, here's the next winner that I'm chewing on. This entry had a good bouquet, lovely flavor, just a hint of wood pulp, and a good after-taste.

The winner is....

That's right, its HOLLY! I'll send out Holly's address so everyone can beat her up for winning a bunch of prizes.

Holly, enjoy smelling your very own, authentic, worn by real iditarod sled dog dog booties, compliments of Karen Ramstead and her pretty sled dogs!

Your bootie is packed with your other prizes and going in the mail today.

Well, that's it for the prize drawing. I'm a bit nauseous now from all the paper I ate after the drawing, but I hope everyone had a good time and likes their prizes.

Remember, get me your snail mail addresses so I can claw the human woman to run to the post office again.

(urp, oooh, scuse me)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Meeshka, Where Are You?

Yeah, that's what I've been wondering too. Well, here's why I haven't posted, or even drawn the names for the last prize winning raffle thing:
This is the human woman.
This is the human woman having a nervous breakdown.
This is what the human woman looks like when she thinks that she'll be getting home to sit in front of the powerbook and do my bidding, except silly things come up, like:
Yesterday the human man called and said that one of their friends was returning to the states from a place called Afghanistan (that's where all the Afghan hounds come from), and his plane came in at 9pm human time. Sure she says, she had to go straight to therapy (physical, not mental, although she could stand to have both) after work, but she should be home in plenty of time to do the drawing and stuff before then.

Not so much, the evil sadistic physical therapy guy had her there until almost 7pm on some kind of torture rack and laser thing.

So, nothing got done last night, but they did welcome their friend and about 300 other soldiers home from fighting for Afghan dog freedom (or whatever they're doing over there), so I forgave her.

Today she comes home for our lunch and tells me that she has a doctor's appointment, but she'll be back nice and early to do the drawing.

Human man comes home, no human woman. Time to eat comes and goes and no human woman (human man did remember to feed us after I clawed him and gimpy suck up mutatoe yapped for 15 minutes straight). By the human clock, she got home at 7pm AGAIN! She got stuck doing stupid human things and now she's freaking out because she has the drawing and a bunch of other stupid human things that is piling up on her list and frankly she doesn't look very sane (she never does look very sane, but tonight is scary insane looking... if that's possible for someone wearing sleepy pants).

So, no drawing tonight, but she does promise that bright an early in the morning not only will there be the drawing, but all of the prizes will get boxed up and shipped out to those who won them.

Or else she really is getting the claw.