Sunday, January 31, 2010

Iams Home 4 The Holidays Results

The other day I was contacted by Brenna, a mix-breed terrier dressed as a human, who works with Victoria the poodle, that the Iams Home 4 the Holidays program successfully found loving homes for 1,363,638 pets.

I wanted to thank all of you for cajoling, clawing, and conniving your humans to help support this wonderful cause. Although I'm STILL waiting on the new Iams Livergreat food that I was promised, I applaud Iams for their work in helping solve the pet overpopulation program by highlighting the plight of shelter animals and letting people know that usually the only problem with a pet in a shelter is that their previous owner didn't have enough love in their hearts.

We should also remember that every day should be "home furever", so educate everyone you can about shelter pets. Tell them to spay/neuter their pets, and that the love found at these shelters is unconditional and ever lasting.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Until We Meet Again

Its very hard for me to paw this post. It is snowing today, and I should be happy, but I think of the snow as the earth's frosty tears at the passing of a cherished HULA Member, and wonderful pup, Dusty Doodles.

He packed so much life into his short time here, teaching his humans love, compassion, friendship, how to stop and smell the puppies (and the stinky cats), and live for the now, instead of planning for what might never come.

We all have the mission to teach the humans that the only thing that matters is now. There's no need to regret the past, there's no reason to plan the future as its all out of their hands. Dusty was a fine ambassador of the now, living his life to the fullest, and teaching his humans that the now is precious and should be embraced.

Thank you Dusty for your wonderful life and your knowledge. We laughed, we learned, and now we live in the now... until we meet again across the Rainbow Bridge.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Queen's State of the Union Address

Furscore and 1 dog year ago, some humans brought forth this new continent, that was actually already here, but they “discovered” it, and then they took it over and about the only thing we have to show for it is some guy screeching something about pants on the ground. Whoot.

Now we got some other guy that has managed to spend all of the human’s money, wants more of their money, but there is no more money, so he said that we should stop spending money on silly things, except the silly things he still wants. These silly things do not include Wubbas, squeeky toys, tasty treats, or exotic squirrel dancing, therefore as your Queen, I do not approve of this new no more spending except we’ll spend on things even though we don’t have any money thing.

Speaking of spending money, I would like everyone that has donated to PETA to read how your money, that you probably thought went to saving the lives of dogs and cats and other animals that need to be saved is being offered to fix a bridge if they will call it “Peace on your Plate Bridge”. I’m sure the poor dogs and cats languishing in shelters and being killed for lack of good homes really appreciate their help. Please donate your money to your local SPCA, who actually tries to help animals find good homes.

So, we apparently have humans who represent themselves as kind, caring, helpful, but spend your money on stupid, frivolous crap or they just give it to their friends. Things have gotten out of control and we need your help to bring it back home.

Your Queen commands you to tell your humans to stop donating money, time, and effort on international big bloated “non-profit” organizations that actually pay its people to be nice and do things. Please find a local charity, one that you can actually walk into and see with your own eyes the good they do in your local community, then donate your hard earned money there, or donate your time there. Go to Charity Navigator and find charities that spend more money on their cause than they do administrative, marketing, or paying their people.

Don’t allow others to spend your money as THEY see fit, put it to good use for causes that you believe in.

In the meantime, we are planting dogs in human costumes to run for office so we can finally get this country back to where it belongs... where people aren’t so worried about losing their houses and abandoning their furry loved ones, and have plenty of time to stop and smell the puppies.


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Another Waste of Money

The humans continue to amaze me with the way they spend their time and money.

Take for instance the recent study that says that Dogs are smarter than toddlers. Um, duh!

I'm sure a bazillion human dollars were spent to do this study, and that humans actually spent time testing dogs versus babies and came up with this result.... um, DUH! I could have told you all that for free, or at the very least a small consulting fee in the amount of a truck load of livergreat.

My study is very simple:

According to the University of Michigan, it takes a human child, on average 3-6 months to potty train, BUT isn't totally potty trained, typically they still wet the bed until they are 5 YEARS OLD!!! Holy crap, they're stupid!

It took me a day to figure out where they wanted me to go. Of course I still think its totally unfair that I have to do my business in the yard, out in the open, where everyone can see me, but still.. A DAY!

It simply makes no sense to me that humans will put up with a kid pooping and peeing all over the house for 5 years, and yet dump their pet at a shelter because it peed on the carpet a few times. Hey, when in Rome, do what the family does: crap in the house.


Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Today I am Nine

Yes, its my birthday. I'm still waiting for all of the gifts of livergreat.

The human woman is paying a lot of attention to me... attention that does not include livergreat. PFFT.

The Mutatoe told me to go keep the human woman busy for a bit as he was going to score my birthday gift of tasty tortillas off the kitchen counter... and when I came back in he had eaten them all. PFFT.

The human woman did throw the interlopers outside and sat on the floor, held my bone and allowed me to claw her hand bloody while I chewed on the tasty poultry goo slathered dental bone for a long time. That was nice of her. She said that my other gift was coming on friday, something about snow... she better be right.