Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Comforts of Home

I prefer that the human woman wear white socks when I use her foot as a pillow. The white socks are much softer than the gray socks or the black socks, and I don’t like the anklet socks that she wears on occasion.

I like to lick the dirt outside, its tasty. This also explains how mud gets into the water bowl, although I blame it on the suck-up gimpy mutatoe.

I have no idea why the human got upset when I brought a mouthful of food into bed to snack on this morning, she brings food into bed and eats it, why can’t I?

I don’t expect to bang on the door and shriek more than once before being let inside, the human woman should be standing right there waiting for me to decide to come in and promptly open the door.

I would prefer that the human woman eat something right before bed as the sounds her stomach makes when its empty and when I use her for a pillow is very disturbing.

We know exactly where the human man’s sensitive spots are and yes, we do stomp on them on purpose even though we look all innocent and apologetic, we’re actually laughing on the inside at the funny noises he makes.

The reason we lay in a circle around the human woman when she’s on the computer is so we know when she’s getting up for a snack so we can try to steal it from her... its not because we like her company, we like her crumbs.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Claws Action Lawsuit

Just to get a general feel, how many of you pups out there were told that you would get very specific weather by a weather person, but then that weather never showed up? How many times must we be lied to over and over again that there will be snow, or rain, or a lot of snow, or even a flake and then NOTHING???

I mean seriously, these people go on the tv and they just lie and lie and lie again, they smile and lie, they do funny things and lie, they show you a map with cartoon snow on it and lie and yet they get to keep their jobs.

As soon as I’m queen of the earth, I will be rounding up every weather person that ever showed up on tv (yes, that also means Willard Scott) and I’m going to put them into the room of torture. We’ll tell them “oh yes, we’ll feed you today” and then we won’t. We’ll then tell them that there is a 30% chance that we’ll feed them that day, and then we won’t. We’ll sent out bulletins that warn them that food is coming... and then we won’t feed them. Lets see if they think this is funny.

In the meantime, I say we start a Claws Action Lawsuit to make weather people accountable for the weather. If they say its going to rain and it doesn’t, they should not only be fired, but thrown onto the street and run over by angry people that wanted rain, or something like that. They shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this shoddy work.

(snowless in Merryland still)

Sunday, January 27, 2008


I’m still trying to catch up on all the wonderful awards that have been given to me this past week or so. I’m so honored to be given these awards, and its very important to me to pass them on to deserving pups. What with the human woman recuperating from her spay, its been difficult for me to get on the computer, so I beg your forgiveness for not reciprocating quickly. Its not that I don’t appreciate the award, I most certainly do, its just that I’m burdened with a whiney human woman at the moment.

Without further ado, I just wanted to thank the A04 for their “Best Friends” award. The A04 and I had been passing intelligence reports back and forth a long time prior to our blogging relationship. My human woman and their human woman share a scary, almost psychopathic bond of purchasing the same items. We feel that somehow they live a dual life and this would also explain their half brain mentality and klutziness.

Anyhoo, it took a lot of thinking for who I should pass this wonderful award on to, and here is my list:

Indy, Dusty Doodles, Holly, and Opy

Thank you for being my friends all this time, and to those that didn’t make the list, it was purely out of laziness on my part. Linking does take a lot of thought and then there’s that whole gotta notify you thing, so you are all my best friends.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

101 Uses for the Human Woman

Now that she’s just pet quality (and I truly think its a bit pathetic that she still claims to be show quality and breed standard), it seems like I need to find her something to do in life other than sit around and wait on me hand and foot.

I mean, you hear it all the time, how they get bored and destructive, you have to give them things to do to make them feel like they are useful. I certainly don’t need her destroying the comfy carpet and putting in hardwood flooring or something insane like that. She may even try her hand at painting again, and I’m not going to sit around and listen to the human man complain about the gawd-awful colors she picks out (sand? Who paints a room the color of sand?)

At one point she tried crocheting and that was a nightmare. First it was a sweater, then she said it was a table cover, then it was a couch cover, then she said it would be a nice truck cover, soon it was taking up most of the room downstairs and she wouldn’t stop, and we thought for sure she would be using it to cover the entire outside of the house, perhaps even use it for a football field cover.

I certainly don’t need her taking up any hobbies that involve me, say for instance dragging me to go meet some stinky old people in some home or something. Its really no fun clawing the old and frankly I’m a husky, I’m not there to amuse old people or sick kids or any of that. Hook me up to a wheelchair and let me drag them down some stairs, yeah, that’s a hoot, but be nice and give them a paw without drawing blood, I don’t think so.

Speaking of hooking me up, I’m really NOT into dragging a sled or cart around. I’m not a tow truck, I’m a fluffy husky that should be admired and petted and given tasty things to eat. I don’t know where the world got the impression that pulling stuff was in my genes because I can assure you these genes don’t do that.

So, I need a hobby for the human woman. Something that doesn’t take up too much time because she still has to work and make money, then come home and wait on me hand and foot. Something that takes up very little of her time and keeps her at home but not doing things that disrupt my comfortable world here. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

(Try not to suggest anything that has to do with sharp objects, remember, she’s inept)

Friday, January 25, 2008

No More Human Puppies

I had the human woman spayed. I had to, she kept getting out of the house and running around. Who knows who she was meeting up with, and frankly she's not the best breeding stock there is. With all the aches and pains and ingrown toenails the human man complains about, and her never ending issues, I felt it was best for mankind to just have her fixed and make her a pet quality human.

I doubt if she would ever be show material, she just doesn't have the patience to sit in the ring and I know she'd cop a tude when the judges would look at her, she just can't keep her mouth shut or sit still, always up and doing something.

As soon as she heals up I'm thinking of taking her in for obedience or maybe some agility training, although she is very klutzy and will probably fall off the teeter totter thing. It could be that she's just worth keeping around the house and waiting on me hand and foot.

Guess that's what I'll do with her.


Monday, January 21, 2008

I volunteer the Human Woman

As Queen of the world, I am joining the The Army Of Four to do whatever I can to help make 2008 the year that Beau comes home!

Even if your not an Ao4 Trooper, Stormy still needs your help, so download your official Mission Kit and do whatever you can to try and locate Beau and return him to his family.

As my head is way too fluffy to wear the helmet, I'm volunteering the services of the Human Woman to help in the cause.


Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Glorious Cold

All of our beautiful fluffy snow is gone, and for that I am sad. It has been replaced by the glorious cold, which is ok, its a good replacement for the snow, since I love laying out in the glorious cold.

The human is not ok with the glorious cold, she refuses to come outside and if she does, she complains that the glorious cold makes her nose run, and it also makes her cold. Despite the various and sundry human coats and sweaters and sleepy pants layers, she’s always cold. I don’t know what her problem is, cold is good.

For those of you questioning why I wasn’t basking in the snow in that picture, I’ll have you know that I had to take 3 seconds out of frolicking in the wonderful snow to glare at the human woman for denying us the snow for so long. That’s why I wasn’t in the snow. I was sufficiently covered in snow as to be considered powdered after that picture was taken, and I managed to shake it all off on the human woman’s socks, making them cold and wet. We also tracked a nice snow pile all over the house, so not only were the tops of her socks wet, but so were the bottoms. She was unhappy, which makes us happy.

Today we’ve spent most of the day making her open the back door to let us out, then let us back in, opening the deck door to let us out, then let us back in. Out, in, out in. We love making her get out of her warm toasty nappy bed to open the cold door and let us out, then in, then out, then in. Loki will go out, then want in, but then Sam wants out, then in, and I want out, and won’t come back in so the human woman has to come herd me back in, and I skitter away and laugh at her.

Its been a fun day really.

(Maybe its time to go out again)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Shameless Plug for a Pet Hotel

We’ve all been there. The humans have to go out of town for some stupid reason or another and we find ourselves in a cage until they come back. Now, if you are lucky the reason they dump you at the kennel is for some uncomfortable, unhappy reason, and not because they’ve gone off to some fancy hotel, relaxed, ate good food and had a great time while you languish on a cold cement floor with other dogs barking at you.

Well, those days are now over, no more excuse to dump you off at one of those conventional “kennels”. Archaic, cold, unloving with their cement floor, wire cages, hollow ear piercing barking, no privacy to poop without everyone watching you. Now your humans can take you to the four star pet hotel of the elite, yes, our time has come to vacation in the lap of luxury when the humans can’t take you with them... if you live in California.

The Wag Hotels in California offer comfy rooms with nice furniture to lounge on, playgroup time, breakfast and dinner, and classical music in your room to relax to. In the luxury suite you get a plasma tv, couches and premium beds, and classical music.

For added fees, your humans can get you some swim time in the pool, one on one play time, group play time, and even a massage, yes, a MASSAGE!

I checked out the prices and seriously, for just a little bit more than the humans would pay for a crappy cement floor, chain link fence crappy kennel, they can give you the luxury that you truly deserve. Tell them that you would be much happier at the Wag Hotel, and that you would be so well cared for that they would be able to enjoy their time away from you without the usual guilt they experience.

So, if you happen to be in the California area and need a place to stay, go check out the Wag Hotels (check the site for locations and reservation information), and tell them that Meeshka sent you... because I fully expect to get a big whopping discount for me and the gimpies when we come out there for whoring the place on my Web site.


Monday, January 14, 2008

Make My Day Award Winners

Here are my nominees for the Make My Day Award Winners. Using the links, please go out and comment on each of their blogs and tell them congratulations, as their blogs are very entertaining.

Merlin the Blind Chow
For his spirit, and putting up with a human that thinks that Chows are sled dogs.

MJ’s House of Slobber
For putting up with foster dorks with big ears

Leader of the Boston Terrier Movement

For chasing balls for no reason to keep the humans occupied while us Huskies take over the earth

Just cuz I like her, not that I’m sucking up or anything no, never, I would never do that

She’s a HULA member and continues to make daring escapes

Because he was gimpy like the spineless bionic hip Sammy

Another spineless gimpy like Sammy

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Seriously Tickled Gleeful

The human woman and her friend from down south left us all alone yesterday with the human man while they went and got a "spa" thing. They came back all painted up and had been groomed and stuff, smelled all funny, but were fun to claw nonetheless.

Since the human woman took the iPhone with her and locked the laptop (I really need to discuss these arrangements with her), it wasn't until this morning that I realized that I had been bestowed one of the greatest honors of blogging:

The Featured Member Seal of January 2008!!!! Its ME!!!!!!

I'm so very honored by this award, seriously, when I found out I had to nap because the stress was just so great.

Thank you, thank you for this wonderful award, I hope I don't disappoint my adoring fans.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Thanks for the Award

I wanted to send out a special Woo to Holly (bollyboo), Team Husky, and the Kapp Pack for giving me the “make my day” award. The human woman was concerned that it was some sort of Dirty Harry reference at first and wasn’t going to add it, but I clawed her and she saw it my way.

Although I guess I’m suppose to find 30 blogs that make my day... sigh, I really don’t think so, I will be finding 10 blogs that haven’t received the award yet, may not get the traffic that some of us more popular blogs get, and spread the love that way by directing you all to some new material... of course its much too hot here for me to do that tonight. Stupid Merryland, its like 70 degrees here. We went straight from fall to spring with no hope of snow at all.

But I digress, I have to go lay on the cool vent now, yes, the cool vent is spewing cool air lately.


(procrastination... its a gift)

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Happy Birthday to ME!

Yes, today I am 7 years old. I'm not even going to go into that stupid "dog years" thing that the humans came up with to justify why we should behave ourselves, and yet we still don't get the right to vote, drive a car or buy booze in plain brown bags.

This morning the human woman threw the mutatoes out into the cold and allowed me to chew on the tasty chew bone with poultry flavoring. She also scratched all of my very itchy places. Later I got some kind of Popsicle thing to eat, that was tasty. She also gave me a lick of her yogurt spoon (raspberry), more scratching, and she let me claw her. I clawed her good too, it was a reared up, both feet coming down stabbing motion with a swipe at the end. I can't wait to see the interesting bruise that one made.

So, yeah, generally that was my birthday. Nothing really special. I would have had all of you over, but the house isn't a mess, and that would have meant I would have had to share my chewy bones and tasty ice creams, so sorry.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


How ironic that on a mail list there actually was a discussion about the stupidity of humans, and how some felt that humans were actually capable of seeing through our husky plans to conquer the world and thwart our attempts... and yet they drink coffee made from cat poo. The pay huge sums of money to brew and drink coffee that came out of a cat’s butt. Seriously. No, really, and here’s one of the myriads of articles about cat poop coffee.

Seriously, just go do a Google search on “Cat poop coffee” and there are a ton of articles, even a Wikipedia thing about these cats that eat berries, poo out the beans and humans gather this foul stuff and sell it to other humans as “special” coffee, and the other humans pay a lot of money for cat poop beans. Some have even suggested that this “delicacy” came about because lazy humans found it easier to gather up cat poop than pick the beans from the vines. Out of human laziness comes a rare and exotic coffee... what a marketing coup, seriously. It never would have caught on had they said “we’re lazy, so drink some cat poop” oh no, but “the digestive process of this special breed of cat causes a paradigm shift of flavor that is both rare and exotic”... ok, I just hurt myself laughing at that one, but I’ll be damned, the humans buy this stuff!

Therefore, for a limited time only, you too can experience the rare and exotic blend of Meeshkafe!
Straight from the trash can and into what is the world’s most pristine and exotic gastro-intestinal systems, this masterful blend of coffee grounds and pizza crust is only available for a limited amount of time and for a large amount of cash. Be the first human on your block to savor the magical blend and receive a certificate of accomplishment. Bring a baggie, as you will be require to pick your own sample and pay before you leave the premises.