Sunday, December 23, 2007

Saving Amber

When the A04 announced that poor Amber had been kidnapped and held for ransom by evil reindeer, I knew there was only one thing to do...

Yes, call all reindeer out for a turf war. Its time, those reindeer have been getting mighty pompous and trying to take over husky land lately. We can't have reindeer rolling in our snow (if we ever get any) and taking all of our glory. Yes, its time for a rumble, an all out gang war...

What? Amber was saved already?

Crap, I never get to wear the headband anymore. Let me go change.


Thursday, December 20, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

National Stare Off

Because some of us didn't get ANY snow during the Blizzard of 2007 or whatever those lame and worthless weather people are calling that last storm, I'm calling on all huskies to stare at their humans.

I'm convinced that they can somehow control the weather, and for some reason, some of them are holding out on the snow. By staring at them, I'm sure they'll crack under the pressure and release the snow we all so richly deserve.

Start staring.


Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Writers Strike - Big Bang... ok, its not

We preempt that show again to bring you this Christmas favorite of all time:
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Writers Strike - Big Bang Theory One More Time

We are preempting tonight's episode of Big Bang Theory to bring you that wonderful Christmas classic tale of Frosty the Snowman.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Writers Strike - Big Bang Theory Again

We interrupt tonight's episode of Big Bang Theory to show you the exclusive coverage of former Vice President Al Gore's speech after receiving his Nobel Peace Prize award:

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Writers Strike - Numbers

An FBI agent recruits his mathematical genius brother to help him solve crimes that involve numbers (like that happens every day).

Friday, December 07, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part gazillion)

After a snow hiatus (its snaining and icy now... drat), we return to the Heroes who are trying their hardest to stop stupid humans.

After all of the Heroes gave it their all with their super powers, they called upon Cosmo, the peacemaker, to be their representative at the Woonited Nations. While normally passive and will put up with a lot of crap, Cosmo knows how to intimidate and show who is boss when the chips are down. Shortly after this picture was taken, Cosmo played wolf and caribou with Condi Rice because she was leaning on him, then he peed on the the Canadian Prime Minister, just to show him who was really the boss.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Writers Strike - Special Weather Bulletin

The regularly scheduled program will not be seen tonight because ITS SNOWING HERE!!!!

Who has time to write a tv show when there's snow to play in, not me, so I'll be out cavorting in the snow, and smashing the gimpy mutatoe's head into the snow, and leaping in the snow and laying in the snow, so sorry, snow takes priority, I'm sure you understand.

Until tomorrow, remember that it is National Handwashing Week. You humans remember to wash your hands because frankly... you people get into some nasty stinky things and then use that flowery soapy junk and then smell even worse. It should be National Roll In A Dead Thing Week, but they don't have that, nooooo. And is it just me, but why do they have to have a National Handwashing Week? Do they not wash their hands the other 51 human weeks?

Stay tuned tomorrow for your next exciting tv episode that I need to come up with since those stupid writers are STILL on strike, eesh.


Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (part XXXVII)

Much to every husky's amazement, humans keep being stupid and more and more are called to help the cause.

The Kapp Pack has been called in to summon their super powers and save the world from the stupid humans.

When brute husky force won't work, Sky is called in to use his ear piercing bark. He sneaks up on unsuspecting stupid humans and unleashes a bark that has been clocked at hurricane speeds, a sound unreadable on the decibel thing, but it gets the point across... unless humans are just that stupid.

Canyon is also called upon to use his thermodynamic torso for assisting in biped metatarsal temperature regulation powers, but since all humans have cold feet, they become addicted to his warming powers and must keep him on their feet at all times. This limits their mobility and without movement, its harder for them to be stupid. We need more huskies with thermodynamic powers to immobilize more humans. Those with head sitting abilities are wanted as well. (script writers note: the evil censor human woman wouldn't let me put up the cartoon that showed that Canyon was actually the cause of human spontaneous combustion... some people have no sense of humor)

Finally in the Kapp Pack arsenal is the very precious and delicate Kelsey Ann. Her humans have been stymied because Kelsey Ann refuses to look at them. No matter what they do, no matter how how they try, Kelsey Ann will not look them in the eye. Kelsey Ann has X-ray vision, allowing her to see through containers and find doggie cookies, tasty food in the fridge, and all of the things her humans try to hide from her... unfortunately she also sees right through her humans and frankly she's a bit embarrassed by what she sees and wishes they would wear some lead clothing.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (Part 415)

As the stupid humans are harder to thwart than first thought, two more husky heroes have had to delay their air conditioning vent naps to help fight their stupidity.

Jack has kid magnetism. Wherever he goes, kids are pulled into his highly magnetic fur and stick. Some feel its the static electricity of the fur that does it, but everyone knows that Jack is just so soft that he's irresistible. Once he's gathered as many kids as possible, he takes them to HULA headquarters where other huskies lick their faces because kids always have food on their faces.

Star has those baby blue eyes that stupid humans just can't seem to resist. They stare into those mesmerizing eyes and look at her fluffiness and fall fast asleep. Just look at her, look at those eyes! You're starting to feel sleepy aren't you. You want to yawn, don't you. I bet you just yawned. Its probably too late, you'd better just lay down rather than hurt yourself when you fall. When you wake up, huskies will rule the world!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (part 301)

Bringing out the big guns now, once Mikki has tunneled to Ft. Knox and has stolen the money, Cracker is responsible for going to the store to purchase all of the squeeky toys in the world. While he normally prefers shopping at the local drugstore, the bulk quantity of squeeky toys he needs can only be found at the big budget discount stores. His ease at prowling the aisles also proves that an extremely huge husky isn't the strangest thing roaming those stores late at night and he doesn't even get a second look from the odd humans shopping there.

Last, but not least, its Bama to the rescue! One sure way to thwart the stupid humans is to starve them to death. Bama uses her keen food stealing skills to eat and steal every piece of food the humans make for themselves. Stealthy and nearly invisible, she's able to sneak up unnoticed and wait for the prime opportunity to attack.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (part 300)

The frustratingly stupid humans continue to breed and be stupid despite the heroic efforts of past husky heroes. Next up, two of River Hill Pack use their super powers to defeat the humans:

Chili uses his directional fur spray to cover the humans in a mass of fluffiness to keep them from doing stupid things.

Mikki is currently tunneling under Ft. Knox. While most huskies tunnel out of things, Mikki has begrudgingly accepted the job of actually tunneling INTO something so that the other huskies can steal all of the money. Once they have all of the cash, they will then go on spending sprees and buy every squeeky toy in the world and deafen the humans with one gigantic coordinated squeek.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Writers Strike - Heroes (again)

Despite the many talents of the other Hero Huskies, the humans continue to be stupid (what a shock), so more HULA members must unleash their inner talents and help rid the earth of stupid people.
Khyra, the appointed husky in charge of changing the stupid human alphabet and ridding it of redundant letters to make it simpler, such as deleting the pesky and worthless letter "C" using her sweet brown eyes to melt every human that looks into them.

Super puppy Juneau learned the art of flying at an early age. When not cruising the skies with Turbo, smacking stupid humans on the head, Juneau flies around looking for humans carrying food products in those silly "green" grocery bags, swoops down and steals them, then shares the goodies with his pack after he picks out the good stuff.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Writers Strike - Survivor Semi-Final

Well, our gang of obsessive compulsive cleaners hasn't fared very well in the past week. We lost one when Loki yacked up on the carpet, licked it back up, then horked it out on another spot of the carpet. This caused Louise of Valparaiso, IN to totally lose it, and run screaming from the house. John of San Angelo, TX found a piece of fur in his underwear and had to be taken to the emergency room. We hope you feel better John.

Tonight's episode is the Semi-Final, where we hope someone wins, but the contestants aren't looking very healthy.

Tonight's challenge:

Husky Fur Condiment!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Writers Strike - Life

A courageous and dedicated police dog fights crime and keeps people safe.

Then one day, she is framed for murder, found guilty and sent to prison for a long time.

Her lawyer gets a new trial and proves that she is innocent of the crime and wins a gazillion bucks in a lawsuit.

Taking her money (after lawyers fees, expenses, etc.) Meeshka rejoins the force and tries to find the real killers to redeem her good name.
Well, ok, she could care less about her name now that she's filthy rich.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

That Wacky Human Woman

Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema
The human woman was just sitting around and someone poked her in the eye with an icepick. Yes, selfish-grain time. She refuses to get out of bed to post a new tv show that I wrote, so here's a picture of me in my fluffy fineness.

Think of it as a pre-empted show for the George Foreman Grill or something.

(all I want for Christmas is a set of opposable thumbs... and those cool ginzu knives)

Monday, November 26, 2007

A Woo for a lost one

I was saddened to learn that Ozzy and Romeo lost their human man recently.

All of us here are going to give a woo to tell those already across the Rainbow Bridge to welcome him, play with him, and keep him company until his loved ones can join him.

Please woo with us, and go to Ozzy and Romeo’s blog to let them know that he’s waiting for them over there, and that he’s fine.


Writers Strike - The Big Bang Theory

Two total geeks know computers, but don't know women. Their new, hot neighbor shows them the way to a woman's heart isn't through a USB port.

OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? You want me to write that crap? Who watches that lame show anyway, with its stupid fake laugh track and bad scripts.

Fine, maybe this will get people to tune into that stupid show before it gets cancelled, and next week if its still on the air, I'll see if Henry Winkler will come out of retirement, don his Fonzi jacket and jump a shark tank:

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Writers Strike - Battlestar Galactica

Having just fought off the evil Cylon warriors in a fierce battle, the brave Shmoobuck returns to the Galactica to curl up on a nice cool air vent.