Sunday, March 27, 2022

Greasy Puppy

 First of all, I resent that title, but that's what I'm called lately, all because Toast neglected to put the grease cup far enough back on the counter, and what's a husky to do but sample the tasty greasiness it contains.

This may explain my recent gastro-intestinal looseness, which has cleared up already, but you'd think they would be happy... nope, they're never happy.

It's been rather boring for me lately. Not boring for Toast and Bleeder, who are now dealing with some form of a leak from their fridge into the downstairs. I have an alibi, and I'm not even allowed down there unless I'm escorted by Bleeder for laundry duty (for which I receive a cookie for being good and not falling down the sump hole, or stuffing myself behind the water heater, or licking the heat pump thing, or getting into the fabric softener sheets, or digging in the trash, or jumping over the laundry baskets to get to all of those tasty things, or snorfling the tools, or grabbing a socklet and dashing upstairs.) All of this may or may not have happened at one time or another.

Anyways, there was yelling and banging, and then a rug magically appeared hanging on the outside railing and I had to sniff that... lots of sniffs. Lots of other dog sniffs.  I enjoyed all of the other dog sniff memories.

I've been keeping an eye on the neighborhood.

Get off my lawn
I discovered fireworks, and although it happened right when I was squatting for a poo and I was startled, I sat and waited for more to go off as they were pretty. Bleeder says the people setting them off are ... words that I can't repeat.

I asked to go out, then in, then out, then in, then out... which I'm contractually bound to do.


I discovered peanuts, in that I saw Toast eating them, and wanted them, but I was not allowed to have them unless they are crushed and shoved into my kong in the form of a butter substance.


When I eat all of the goodies out of my bowl and leave the kibble, I must hide the bowl under my blanket to keep monsters from eating it.

Nothing to see here monster, no kibbles left

Bleeder bought a huge rug that is suppose to "wick" the dirt and mud from my paws, but it's very comfortable, so whatever.


Today was Waffle Sunday, but I got a bit snappy with Toast and had to wait for him to finish, then Bleeder made me do tricks to get my half of a waffle. In case you haven't figured it out, Bleeder is the strict one. 

She's got all these rules, specifically ones about DEWM claws on her skin and NO BITEY. I'm learning. I mean, at least when I pretend to listen, I get cheese, or a treat, or special scritches. 

Pretty boring actually. No exciting adventures or anything. Still stalking squirrels, but I'm waiting for them to become fat and complacent in the spring. Speaking of spring... still waiting for that to arrive. 

 

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Gotcha Day and Photos

 Yesterday was my "gotcha day" as Bleeder calls it. One year ago I was ripped from my cosy home, separated from my mom and siblings, driven to Merryland and made my home with Bleeder and Toast.


Then
Now

My how time flies in dog years.

I thought that the reason B & T were trying to play with me a lot was part of the anniversary celebration. B held my new chewbone for me in the lazy way that she does.


Then we all went out and played toss/tug with my favorite toy that I'm not allowed to play with inside... something about swinging it wildly near a very expensive TV. 


I was distracted by flying geese

Then they put my harness on me and I thought "OOOH we're going for a ride or walk!" Every time they take me out front, I expect a car ride. Sometimes we just go for a walk, which is good too, but I REALLY love car rides, so I just automatically head for the car hoping we're going for a ride... this time, I got to go for a ride! I helped Toast navigate, even though I didn't know exactly where we were going.

10 and 2 on the wheel, nice form Toast

We went to some place called Annapolis and once we got there, we walked around some parking lot for a while. It was pretty hot, and seeing how I've been having some gastro problems from eating things I shouldn't be eating in the yard (what exactly is a "trash panda", because that's what they keep calling me and I feel that it isn't a nice thing), they kept insisting that I "go poopy" before I entered the building. Bleeder also encouraged me to pull on the harness on the concrete, something about filing my razor sharp talons down a bit. 

Once I did my business and got some water and seemed a bit calmed down, we went into a building and I got to meet the nicest guy! He had a lovely bowl of fresh bottled water ready for me, and scritched me in all the right places. I didn't even jump up on him, I was the best behaved pupper in all of Merryland (much to the shock of Bleeder and Toast). His name was David and he's a photographer, one of the best, according to B&T. He has photographed all of the puppers on the wall of our house and pretty soon, I will adorn that wall as well, although the wall is pretty full so I get to be on my own wall above Bleeder's computer, which I think is fitting.

Anyway, I digress. David allowed me to sniff everything in the reception area, and there were some very lovely sniffs in there. All sorts of sniffs. Then we went back into the dark photography area and I got to inspect everything in there while the three of the humans discussed all things photography and gave me some time to get used to the strange fabric wall/floor thing, all of the strange lights things, and reflector things, and the other things. There were so many things to sniffs.

I got some water, and some cookies and sniffed while they talked, then I got to go outside and pee again. The only room I couldn't thoroughly sniffs was the office area because Bleeder said that was rude, but I tried several times. Then we all gathered in the photography room again and this time I had to sit in between B & T and look at David, which I did, but then a flash went off and I was kind of "I'm not sure about that crap", so I got a cookie and the flash went off a few more times to get me used to the flash and then it was all, meh. So after more bribes and sitting, sometimes I'd lay down, but I'd always lay down with my back to the flash thing, which apparently isn't how you do it. We would take some breaks to allow David to show B & T the photos he had captured. Apparently B & T were the problem, sometimes their glasses slid down, or they were moving. I, on the other hand, am very photogenic and looked gorgeous in all of the photos.

I started to get bored and we all know what happens when a husky gets bored, so we moved the gear outside to a little piece of grassy area. I, of course, found lots of things to gnaw on... once again the "trash panda" reference. We sat in the grass for a bit while more photos were taken and around this time I had enough, and apparently so did David because we milled around looking at the results... well, Toast did, I was dragging Bleeder around looking for interesting things to not be able to eat, and then we went back inside, said our good-byes and we drove home.

It was EXHAUSTING.


I was so tired that I fell asleep on Bleeder and she ate ice cream without me even knowing. ICE CREAM!


Apparently we will wait a bit and then go watch a presentation of all of the pictures once David fixes the little glitches, and by little glitches I mean human imperfections because I'm perfect, and then choose the pictures we'll have printed/framed.

So, if you are EVER in Annapolis, you must make an appointment with David Anderson and have him take your photo! He also has tasty treats that he bribes you with. Of course, once mine is ready I will share the results with you. I can't wait!

Sunday, March 13, 2022

Disappointments

 I'm NOT thrilled with this Merryland state! The lack of snow is appalling, and the people that predict this appalling weather need to be clawed and feathered.

Here I was, all ready for 1-3 inches of the glorious powdery goodness and what did we get? Rain. Not only rain, which I don't like because it goes right into my ears, but sideways rain. Then it was sideways rain with bits of hard ice particles, that also went into my ear, and I refused to go outside during that. Then what did we get? FINALLY fluffy flakes of snow fell from the sky... only to melt in all the water and ice pellets. When the wind picked up and started flinging shards of ice off of the trees, Bleeder refused to let me out or go outside with me... I don't blame her actually, it was stupid outside.

So, nothing, we got nothing. Just some falling snow that was pretty, and then ice. I like ice. My outdoor water bowl was a giant ice cube this morning and that was fun, but it's cold out, which means Toast and Bleeder are not inclined to go out and play with me. They said this week it will be warmer and they'll play... but I don't want to play when it's warm!  Maybe my walks will resume. I hope so. 

I'm also told that I get to go on a special car ride next weekend and it's not to the vet. Apparently Toast and Bleeder will get all fancy dressed and take me to a photography studio for the traditional family portraits. That should be fun. They will both be wear long sleeves to hide the claw marks and blood.

Speaking of claw marks, I'm being trained to have my feet in a "hold". It requires a lot of treats and patience (Bleeder has the treats, the patience part... eh). It also requires that the snippy clippers are held near my feet, and I know where this is leading to... the trimming of my razor-like talons, specifically my DEWM claws (Toast and Bleeder call them the claws of DEWM for my innate ability to use them to rip through fabric and flesh). I've chiseled them into tiny machetes that will gut a caribou with one swipe, if I should ever meet a caribou, that is... it would also be lethal to those horrible squirrels, but I like to think big. 

My DEWM claws were not removed when I was a baby, and Bleeder tried to get them hacked off during my spay, but I don't have floppy DEWM claws, my DEWM claws are sunk in with concrete and rebar and are there to stay and would require a pretty extensive surgical procedure, so I got to keep them... much to Bleeder's disappointment. I like my DEWM claws and I know how to use them to get my way. 

Here are some gratuitous pictures of me this week, being adorable and the prettiest princess in the land.

Woke Bleeder up at 0330 so I could nap on the couch

Making sure the neighbor dogs don't eat my squirrels before I do

Taking a nap near the DON'T TOUCH THOSE while Bleeder does something stupid

What do you mean this stick isn't trade up cheese worthy?

My puppy blanket is comfy